analog

Date: Fri, 27 Feb. 1998

i would like to reiterate that i have a newsgroup. it is:
alt.fan.ana-voog
i have added a new section to anacam called ARCANA which is archives pix
from ANA2 that i wanted to share with everyone :)
please help support anacam by becoming a member of ANA2 !!
ANA2 has 30 second refreshes, a twice as big picture, a bbs and a chat
room all for only $10 a month. please help keep anacam alive by becoming
a member :)
here are some posts that i've made to the anacam mailing list...if u
would like to be on it go to www.coollist.com and subscribe :anacam
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well, i've been emailing and IRCing and rebooting have not
cleaned my house yet.
mistress, i agree, it's better to just not objectify than to put
men into the object department, too.
although..maybe it's better to be able to objectify but STILL be
ABLE to see the WHOLE picture of a human, as well.
-----------------------------------------
i don't even know what day it is!
i'm in CAKE magazine, for those of u who'd like to see, here is the URL:
http://www.cakemagazine.com/archive/62/voog.htm

getting on a morning scedule sux. it's still super grey here and
all i can do is stay on the computer and type to stay awake today.
but despite this and my pms...i'm in a good mood :)
my body temperature is a steady 98.6 degrees and i'd really like
some mint tea now.
------------------------------------------
hey, i am so busy it's nutso. on the phone on the phone on the 
phone...biz biz
biz..lawyers..liveshows.covers..videos..interviews..bios..email...daily
living...pms...house a mess...no cat food...phone not working...no
food...bills to be paid...ana2...web design...chat rooms..irc..mailing
list...p.o.box..mom and dad...boyfriend..sleeping
schedule...pmspmspmspms...bbs...bs....
and tomorrow VRPO tv from holland and their crew of 4 dutchmen
come here to my house to film me for 3 days! they will film me, i will
film them, it will be broadcast on the net via my cam, and they will
film ana2 from holland of their filmcrew in my house. it is like a cross
between "spinal tap" and "sprockets". 
there is no way in hell 4 more people are going to fit in my
tiny apartment along with more cameras and microphones. 
i think it's time to order chinese food and smoke sum weed.
can life get weirder? answer : yes.
----------------------------------------

mystery asked me a bunch of questions:
1)  Interesting, what are your thoughts regarding Christianity?

a nice idea if people would actually "do unto others as you would have 
done unto u". i think the things that jesus said were pretty much right 
on. but i think his teachings were very skewed by politics.

2) What made you decide to start a webcam page? 

see "ANAtomy" on my webpage.

3)Are you an exibitionist?

i guess i am since i have a cam, but it's more like show and
tell or a story to me and an online diary than a sexual thrill. i don't
get a sexual charge from being seen naked.

4) What are your thoughts regarding sexuality?

that's too big of a question for me to answer. but i'd basically
say  "anything goes" as long as it's consensual and non-abusive too
anyone.
i think this culture places FAR too much importance on
sexuality. i think it's highly overrated and focused on too much which
causes a lot of imbalance. i , myself, am more intersted in sensuality.

5) How do you feel about the men who view your site? 

i can't lump them all into one big "feeling"

6)Are you sending us a message?

no

7)What about the women who view your site are you sending them a 
message?

no
----------------------------
ok, the film crew left, but in two hours we r going out 4 sushi
:)
i'm going 2 go take a nap now because i'm exhausted! i'll tell u
all about what transpired later...i'd definitely say that was one of
THEE most bizarre things i've been through....it was like an awkward
 amusing dream...
so anyway, that's why i haven't written here much and why i
haven't been able to pay attention to  my cam much...but as soon as i
get over the shell-shock of overstimulation...i'll get back to "normal"
------------------------------------------------------
there is now a link on ANA2 to the 'ANArchy bbs' and the
'ANArchy chat'  also, on both anacam and ana2 i have added 'arcANA'
which is an archive of ana2 (and anacam) i will be adding pix to that
bit by bit. 'about ana' is now called 'anatomy'
--------------------------------------------------
well, i finally got around to playing with peter gabriel's EVE cd rom. 
it is very unusual and fascinating! i liked it!
i played with it for almost 6 hours straight! i slept mostly all
the rest of the day, and now it's 4am so i'm going
back to sleep. i'm getting caught up on my sleep i missed when
the film crew was here. and i have my period,
too..so i'm just laying lo...soon i will get back to doing some
interesting things for the cam..i can feel another creative streak
culminating in me...but it might come out in music or drawing or
redecorating my house...but it's going to pop up soon! 

i like sarah's posts...so she can make them as long as she
likes. :)i think she has very interesting things to say.
i don't always agree with her or understand her references...but
she is an incredible INDIVIDUAL :)

as far as that statement about women in the middle east...and
how you'd like to see american women be able to do that(using their wit
and charm and flirting with their conversation and eyes, etc) well, WAKE 
UP...hello???? are you saying that women should cover themselves
to learn how to do that shit even more???? maybe i am
misunderstanding you or misquoting u because i accidentally deleted that
post and i'm trying to remember exactly what it said...but fuckin a...if
i get your meaning...that was just ridiculous. we, as women don't have
to put up with that covering-our-bodies-so-that-we-can-seem-smarter-crap
anymore. 
i've just had it with that. if i want to walk around in a feather boa , 
naked in high heels, it's up to your observant ass to see that i
have a triple doctorate in life...or else YOUR loss, not mine. i'm not
here to wit and charm circles around men and do a little dance of seven
veils with my eyes to prove to you anything, unless i just feel like
doing that for fun because i happen to like you. period.
anyway....that's my rant for the day.
------------------------------------------
i just wanted to say that i'm glad that sarah has "taken over"
the list right now because i've been rather depressed, stressed, and
overwhelmed by everything lately and have been on a crying jag to
release tension. 
i don't think anyone could "steal" the limelight away from me
because i do not need or even seek the limelight, as contary as that
seems to my lifestyle. i am secure in myself that i don't need to be the
center of attention. :) go, sarah, go! :) i'm just glad that all of you
could meet her like i did on the femmedykes list :) and i feel really
honoured that she wants to be on my list ! i HEART u sarah :)
sorry my cam has been so boring lately, but that's life. waxing
and waning. my LIFE certainly is not boring even slightly. i'm
really overstimulated. but it's all in IRC, email,on the phone, or in
my head. 
so it's hard for me to convey what goes on with me right now.
like today, i have to go work on the inner sleeve of my cd, then
go edit some video footage of a photoshoot i had for the emhanced
portion of my cd, then i have to talk to a guy who is going to write my
bio for publicity. i am sick of explaining myself and talking about
myself and looking at myself. i have been focusing so much energy
outward, explaining what i do and who i am, that i have found i have
neglected myself and stopped DOING things and BEING who i am. so i am in
the process of huddling into a ball and rebalancing and recharging.
i just need to be held for a few hours. actually, that would be
rather nice to be held EVERYDAY. i need a lot of affection. just at
least to be pet on the head and fed a bowl of milk everyday would keep
me somewhat stable. everyone who would do this for me lives in another
state.
i feel like everyone i have loved ( mom, dad, x-boyfriends) are 
abandoning me and attacking me. and certain people on bbs and
email and IRC (which feels like society) are attacking me. i just feel
attacked and poked and prodded to death. filmcrews, interviews,
interrogations. all screaming at me "are you valid?". how can a big
fake-titted bleach blonde so-called faerie queen x-stripper cam grrl net
"porn star" call herself an artist? how can that be "valid"?
that's how i feel. 
so in trying to get together my thesis on my validity and
valu...i have ignored myself, and my household and am finding myself
rather depressed. 
actually, almost on the edge of a nervous breakdown, maybe.  but
i've been here before, and i think i can get out of this state of mind
by the skin of my teeth if i pull every last drop of recources i have
from this soul and huddle with the cosmos to birth a new
attitude/perspective.
so...anyway...that's where i'm at. lots of energy to assimilate, 
discard, digest or throw up. getting rid of mental toxins.
i shall prevail...
so thank u sarah, for keeping ME afloat with your wit, charm,
grace and style. i appreciate u immensely :)

    
love,


    ana