analog 11: Sun, 28 Sep 1997

analog

Date: Sun, 28 Sep 1997

hi, it's 10:07pm. i'm just hanging out , kind of ignoring the cam today. just got done watching Basquiat again. i am entering PMSland again, and when i get like that i don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone in any way. it's really ok as long as no one wants anything from me and i can just hang out with myself and do whatever. people think that PMS is bad, but it's actually good because it makes everything abundantly clear what makes you happy and what doesn't and it gives you no tolerance to have anything but happiness. anything that bugs you is just torched and burned and what's left is good music, yummy food and bubblebaths.
a lot of people worry about me that i am so antisocial. but i am just that way. and i like it that way. i think i'm getting more and more antisocial all the time, which is pretty ironic since i'm communicating with more people now via this cam than i ever have communicated before. i kind of enjoy the irony of it.
someone told me that the more well known you get the more more people know less about you. kinda true.
it's been very very windy the last few days and it gets my a bit excited 'cause i know then that change is coming. weather, to me, is always very symbolic. but very literal. as is everything, to me. so anyway, after the wind dies down, i know that it will have blown in something new and blown away something old. i am curious to see what it will be this time.
i am listening to david sylvian's "secrets of the beehive". i love david sylvian's music.
i always listen to this album in september, 'cause there's a song on it called "september's here again". it's one of my little rituals to play it then remember all the past septebers and compare what i'm doing now with what i was doing all those other septembers. i'd have to say this is the weirdest september yet in a long time.
i was hoping to be living in LA by now.
when i tell people that, they go "LA? why? yuck?" well, it's because i like the weather, i can buy cool shoes there, and i love the ocean. i'm not moving there for the people. i don't go out anyway. :) so if anyone knows of any cool loft warehouse spaces in LA let me know. i need somewhere to paint and rollerskate and where i can go up on the roof and look at the sky. then i think i'd be perfectly happy. i like to be high up, like a cat. and i need space to start painting again.
to the people who submit art to my anapix section: if there is any way you can...could you send me a print out of your art so i can hang it on my wall? i don't have a printer :( so anyone who has submitted in the past, and for those that do in the future, if you would be so kind and generous, it would be so wonderful to hang your art on my walls :) i understand if you can't though. maybe you don't have a printer either. but if you do get around to it, send it to the PO box in the faq, and i'll be sure to give u back something via the mail ,too, for your trouble.
now it's 10:30pm. my server just crashed again, i hate that. well, at least i'm not doing anything interesting!
i wonder if my parents have seen this site and they're freaking yet.
it's hard to believe it's going to be halloween in a month. i hope a miracle happens and i make it out of here before the snow hits. i've got to get out of here.

love and gusts of wind,
ana

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