7.11.1991 10:19pm
the new moon is today and i can feel it. anxiousness is here and the wheels are
turning. there are 4 new people at work and 3 people gone. cheryl, sarah, nicole,
jason are new. gone are teresa, wendy and kevin. ragstock is so different now.
it's not that community feeling. that love/hate realtionship of being in the same
boat. just me and mark...the one i feel least close to. what will it be now? it's
strange as i make small assumptions as to why they're in my life and why i'm in
theirs and i wonder what will they gain from ragstock? sarah: fat, punk, zit faced,
juvenile delinquent...just got out of jail in texas for being with a boyfriend
who stole some guns, insecure, low self esteem and lots of ambition, getting her
head clear, depression/anger yet far too smiley and loving everyone too much.
but she can book my band maybe?
jason: only here for a month, is on a university of wisconsin basketball team
called the badgers, is black and naive, he thinks he's pretty cool, but he's nice
enough. ragstock's a whole new world to him as he is to su ( at least to me ).
he just got a temp job here as mike finn, who runs ragstock, likes the badgers.
strange world of men.
cheryl's great. just like the gang, no need to get used to her as she is so mellow.
i haven't met nicole yet. today i worked 9-5 then stayed here until 7pm trying
on dresses and it was pouring outside so i read TC Reader on the stairs until
i went to see the movie "everybody's fine". SAD.
walked home in the new ankle harness boots thinking about how many times i've
walked that path in so many states of mind and how many pair of boots i've been
in as i've walked it.
uptown minneapolis was still open so i showed tom i got new boots from there.
i had a nice talk with him and harold. tom boosts my ego. and i need that so badly.
new possible friends: pam, miki, harold, cherly, lori wray, lat, caleb, mary ratslaff,
richard.
possible problems:
pam: too young too inexperienced?
miki: too busy?
harold: same old same old?
lori: too busy too fucked up?
kat: ditto?
caleb: too busy?
mary: too busy too stupid?
cheryl: too stupid?
richard: too busy, too immature, too self centered? probably.
i saw richy today. hey named their son "ivan john and something weird
with tow H's and two Z's. Ivan---god! he doesn't deserve it...frickin' heroin
addict.
richy's gonna lend me his reverb for the 400 gig.
i fucking got my contract. i guess my caretaker idiot lady had it for two fucking
weeks thinking it belonged to the other rachel. God. i thought he had intervened
and put an end to my career. i've got it in my hand right now and i'm writing
on the box it got sent in for support ( no desk ).
my room's a mess. i got a billion things to do. gotta make a flyer for the 400
thing. i work 9-5 tomorrow then a 3 hours practice then put up flyers.
took my meds so i should be out like a light soon. better make the fucking flyer.
i love my new boots. really lifts my spirit. nothing like breaking in a new
ERA with some spiffy new boots. prerquisite!
10:43 exit
10:44 "oops!" pardonez moi, great 808 state song featuring the lovely
bjork!