7.8 1991 12:44am
i just called cris and i didn't say it to him but i will tomorrow--but it's our 3rd year anniversary!!! i can hardly believe it after all we've been through. i didn't do much today but go to church ( yuck ) and then i sort of half slept till 4:00pm because the bells of the church kept going off. then i just talked with S and mom. then we saw a really funny movie called "i love you to death" with tracey ullman and river phoenix. it was SO funny. it was good to laugh after all the heavy religion talk with mom. i didn't want to get into any heavy dscussions but it just can't be avoided. so maybe next time i come here i can just lay on the ground and stare at the sky. that's all i want to do. but it was good to discuss so mom knows me better , then i feel better. but i just want to NOT THINK. tomorrow is my last day here. i don't know what i'll do. i could still go to the junkyard or the fiber arts place. but i just want to go to the beach and i haven't even gone into the woods much. there's so manynice places to sit. i still have to find a good rock for cris, too. i sure hope we got along ok when i get back. we had a horrible the fight the day before i left and it's still pretty unsettled in my soul. i have a headache right now and i have for hours, probably from that talk with mom. i've basically had a good time but still have yet to get a relaxing vacation in. i feel so suffocated about it. like i just want to cry and scream and lay on the ground. i don't want to go back to the Uptown with all the noise and exhaust and hurried people and working in the musty flourescent lit basement of Ragstock. and so much to do with my band. send in the promo pictures, get $, make cover, play two shows, talk to dana, practice, get more shows, do this art display for ragstock, etc etc etc. i'm gonna be working like a bee.
i bee got stuck in the church when i first got here. a big fat bumblebee. and i let it out the window. poor little fella all pushin' against the stain glass windows. hope he's happy now. little bee.

7.8.1991 2:20pm
today is cris' and i's 3rd anniversary!
i just got done making a bunch of signs for an ice cream social that is going to be in mom's front yard in 40 minutes for the kids at church.
i hate making signs. everyone always oohs and ahs about them, too..saying i should do signs for a living. but BORING.
now 2:22pm i keep seeing triplle numbers on the clock all the time now.
i guess nick ralph has called for me 12 times back home and he;s gonna put a trace on the contract he sent me. he sent it to me about 3 1/2 weeks ago. what does it mean? everything getting in the way of my record coming out? but it's got to come out and that's all there is to it. i can't wait to record another one.
i guess i'm not going to be able to go to the junkyard or the fiber arts place because mom forgot she had to be involved with this ice cream thing. less than 24 hours to be here. then it's the greyhound bus again.

2:55pm
cris just called and i knew it would be him as usual so i answered the phone. he cheered me up. we talked about when we first met. the most exciting, sensual , erotic, symbolic moment of my life. the 3rd year should be good because 2 is duality and 3 is creativity and three can stand on its own easier.
i think i'll go have an ice cream and then go to the choolhouse beach. or maybe i'l go to the woods in the back and listen to my walkman.