i write how i write. i
type with 2 fingers at the speed of light, so it's amazing really that there
aren't more typos in my emails
plus i like the casualness of it. spell check really kills the flow of typing,
just like if someone sat in front of u with a grammar book while u were trying
2 have a nice friendly conversation with them. whateverrrrrrrrrr. KREE-8-IV
SPELL-R's U-NIGHT!!! ( that's "creative spellers unite" for those
of u who are stressed out by my anaspeek.
woz sed he doesn't have any trubble understanding my emailz 'cause he just
puts my emailz into thee anaspeek 2 english online trance-later :)
hey if u wanna get REALLY
creative with werdz, i suggest u go to:
http://www.dust.net/data
then click on "poetry"
then look at entries by six six sect six
werdz so cool it hurts me!
it iz a space language that iz so familiar 2 me it makes me want 2 curl up
and purr while smelling a brand new stack of crisp typewriting paper!
or maybe it's just estonian?
man, i wanna visit estonia
BADLY! i never knew estonia existed until i decided 2 call my last name "voog"
( a word i made up ). i did a search on voog for the heck of it which brought
me to these websites with a language i didn't recognize. i then found out
it was estonian when i happened upon the estonia website that had an online
estonian to english dictionary. i popped in the werd voog and it came back
as a noun meaning "a flow" . and the verb of it is "voogama"
which means "to flow, billow, or undulate". isn't that cool?
so ana means "me" in arabic, and " the mother of god"
according to the Women's Encylopedia of Myths and Secrets ( which is a VERY
great fascinating book! it tells where words came from...like the word "whore"
comes from the same word we got "hour" from. the original word was
HOURIS. the houris were the priestesses of the temples and one thing they
would do is dance in a circle to show the time of the day. that's how we got
the word "hour" and why clocks are round! houris also become "whore"
when that pagan religion was demolished by patriarchy , and the sacred whores/houris
became and evil thing and their sex magick they would do in their temple became
a thing of satan instead of a beautiful rite )
anyway...
ana also is a prefix which means "upwards or backwards" and my middle
name is Clara, which i think means "clear"
so i'm an upwards or backwards clear flow which is the mother of god!
and i think that is an inspiring name to have!
my other name's meaning before i was ana clara voog is:
womb waterfall ole's son
that ole's son part HAD 2 go!!!
my mom says rachael means
"lamb of god" but according to the Women's Encylopedia of Myths
and Secrets, rachael means "womb"
but then practical EVERYTHING means womb in that book! :)
wha does your name mean?
have u ever checked that out?
i think the meaning of names and the origins of words is so fascinating!
there is a book called
"the white goddess" that i have yet to read that is also about the
origins of words and how a lot the alphabet was derived from
symbols of different species of trees..or SOMETHING like that.. it's one of
those really difficult books 2 get through, but someday i'll read it.
ok, ok...how many spelling mistakes have i made so far? maybe that should be a new game? :)
i think guilt is never
a ever a good thing. that i believe it is only harmful and one should not
take actions based on guilt.
but an ana2 member believes that sometimes guilt is a good thing because it
stops us from doing bad things and there can be a good balance of guilt.
now i am wondering if perhaps that is true. but i know i do not base many
of my actions on guilt . feeling guilty i guess has made me stop doing some
things sometimes. i'm not sure. it's a really fine line between good guilt
and bad guilt..if guilt is even good at all. but u could say the same thing
about anger or sadness...they aren't FUN emotions but they are necessary it
seems. or are they? ir guilt an emotion even?
another thing i am pondering
now is this sentence: " KARMA IS VOLUNTARY"
how 'bout that??? what do u think of that? if u don't believe in karma, then
just skip that question :)
another thing i am pondering is:
if earth
is a freewill planet...then wouldn't that mean that we "psychically/spiritually/subconsciously/consciously/interdimensionally/whatever"
agreed to have what experiences we experience? because if we can do whatever
we want to whoever we want then doesn't that mean that the person/plant/animal/mineral
"psychically/spiritually/subconsciously/consciously/interdimensionally/whatever"
( feel free 2 spell check that ) you are doing stuff to/with agreed to share
that experience with u because of their free will?
or does free will mean that u can do something AGAINST someone's will. 'cause
if that is the case it's not very "freewillish" ( i'm sure that
if u look that up in the dictionary you'll be surprised to find that iSN'T
a real werd ) to that other person.
if u actually followed that last paragraph ( of that even was a REAL paragraph! ) then HAT's OFF 2 THEE!
i'm serious tho, i need the answer 2 that quickly because it's really bugging me! so hurry up and think!
karma being voluntary tho...that's a pretty cool thought/idea/reality
no , i'm NOT smoking pot!
i tell u this is what i DO!
( seven people right now are typing furiously at me to "get a life"....i
psychically type back " u mean u can buy more?" )
i would REALLY love 2 buy a nice old fashioned ribbon typewriter. mmmmmmm
what are your fave smells?
my favourite smells:
new magazines
( especially the the ones with cheap perfume sample in them...cause i like
that smell mixed with the ink smell)
new books
cardboard boxes
play-do
lemons
sandalwood
patchouli
roses
frankincense
vanilla
the smell of matches and candles right after u blow them out
fresh black dirt
coffee
amarige perfume by divenchy
peonies
autumn leaves all piled up
leather ( mmmm )
the smell of the air when there's lightning
limestone
cedar
the sweet smell of musty clothes in an attic full of antique clothes
so i went 2 the dentist today. i don't think i've gone 2 the dentist for almost
a decade! and i was really nervous 'cause i hate going 2 the dentist. when
the take x rays and they stick those paper things in my mouth u have 2 bits
down on, it hurts me so much because my mouth is so small and those things
weren't made for small people i don't think. so they took 18 x rays and i
REALLY want copies of them all so i can put them on my site in anatomy, but
they are ten bucks a piece! argh. i asked them if they could x ray my whole
skull, that's what i really want! ooooo. so if there are any doctors out there
who will x ray my skull for me, please let me know. i'd like to have my whole
body x rayed and put it on my wall life size!
the girl doing the x rays thought i was a complete weirdo she kept staring at my hair. and i saw one of those rubbery furry squishy ball things that u can play with, and i like 2 play with those things when i'm nervous so i asked her if i could and she just thought that was the weirdest request. whatever! so i played with the blue one. then the dentist came in and she inspected every inch of my mouth and made notes on each and every tooth! i don't think i've ever had such a thorough dentist! all said and done they said my teeth were in remarkable condition and said that i should be commended! yay! :) i know how 2 brush my teeth! ya! but i still need 2 floss, so i'll start doing that now. then the appointment they had after me cancelled so they asked if i wanted my teeth cleaned , too..so they did that. and while this other woman cleaned my teeth she had me hold a mirror so i could see what she was doing and she showed my ALL this stuff about my teeth and how to make them in even better condition.
and they had a
sale going of 1/2 off the price of getting your teeth whitened, and my teeth
are super yellow, so tomorrow i'm going back and they are going 2 make molds
of my teeth to make trays from so i can have perfect fitting trays tyo stick
the gel in that makes your teeth white. i guess u have 2 leave these trays
in 2 hours a day and it takes about a month to get them white. i hope i can
deal with that. i asked how much it costs to get that cool ultrawhite porcelain
stuff that game show hosts have on their teeths that make them look completely
unreal, yet compelling..and it's 800 bucks a tooth! so that is gonna be happening
for me anytime in the near future! yikes!
i am just SO relieved i have no cavities, i cannot even TELL u!i DREAD going
2 the dentist! but this place is pretty cool, it's all women in there and
they were all kind and gentle :)
that was part of my day, the other part was talking to a merchant account
rep 2 get the merchant account into my name, 'cause right ow it's in my friend
zachary's name. that stuff is so complex 2 me. but i'm learning it all more
and more, which is good, 'cause i should know EVERYTHING about my cam stuff!
duh!
then i came home and ate a burrito and lavished in the thought of my great
teeth that kick ass! ya! go teeth go! ( or should i say..stay teeth stay?
)
then i've been working on this and changing the colours of anarchy2, that
is now thee anaverse :) and jason went 2 bed an hour ago, and now it's ten.
he is stressed 'cause he has a big mcsc test tomorrow. i hope i don't stay
up as late as i did last night freaking out making 3 friggin menus for ana2.
i was really having such a fun time making them until i realized they all
sucked! and i worked on them for 14 hours, too! but it's all a learning process
and learning what not to do is just as important as learning what TO do.
aluminum
haikus from thee anaverse
(the private forum on ana2.com):
too bad
i didn't have anagrams since the beginning of my cam, 'cause i've received
so many cool haikus! but i think i have saved a few somewhere. but from now
on i can put them in here :) also, i think i will change the name of the private
anarchy to "anaverse", i think that suits it better. the public
one can be named "anarchy", 'cause that still suits it! yep, i just
changed it! dunno 'bout the colours, tho....it's hard 2 get colours right
on computers, for me at least.
by moby
i nuke
the fast food
wrapping makes sparks! sudden flames!
curses! foil again!
by
magic
Foil Hats,
Cell Phones
Radio waves inside, out?
who was I calling?
by Stacy
Inevitably
The foil on Hostess Ding Dongs
Sticks to your fillings.
(ouch.)
by Jerronimo
oh flattened
metal
my you are so reflective
watch me crinkle you
by EmmettSL
Aluminum foil...
foil the aluminum
and move on.
here are some posts i made at the anaverse:
In Reply to: crying while recycling
on December 07, 1999 at 01:32:16:
argh. that is what my anagram was about...looking at feeling good about it
instead of feeling angry about it. i'm working it out, but i'm NOT going to
do something i don't feel good about. and i'm working on myself to change
the part of me that is stuck in seeing that issue in the limited way i have.
i think if i AM literally imploding with negativity to the point where i feel i could die..then that IS justification to STOP doing the "social responsibilty" and take a few large steps back and rethink things so i DON'T implode with negativity. i don't think u realize how deeply i am affected by these issues and how at times in my life they have almost ripped me apart.
my first responsibilty it to myself
to get happy and healthy because i'm not going to do anyone ot anything any
good if i'm dying inside.
it's the same thing as putting on your oxygen mask before assisting others.
it just makes sense.
a DEAD me really just doesn't help, except that i guess there would be one less person on the earth making garbage if u really want to think of it that way..whuch i have. i have thought before that the only solution would be to die in order that i should have to make no more garbage or kill any more things to eat. but i really don't think that's the right way to go about things or why would there be life at all?i wasn't talking about a "little trifle bit of uncomfort" i am talking serious suicidal pain when i have tried in the past to digest these issues. it's a really heavy thing for me. it's not anything like "oh, i really don't feel like carrying that bag of aluminum cans to the recycler"
and it's more than that but i just can't explain it any clearer or further than that at this moment
and i don't think that guilt is EVER EVER EVER a healthy thing. i will take
a radical stand on that. doing things out of guilt is not a healing thing.
guilt is what gives dis-ease. i refuse to be motivated by guilt which is such
an intregal and sick part of this society, imo.
i am working this all out, as is said in my anagram. it's very simple and complex like everything.
there is nothing DRIVING me to be wasteful! i said that i give THANKS for things and honour that. i said a lot about about being wasteful in my anagram. i do not consider myself a wasteful person. i think i could do BETTER, but i'm far from wasteful.
i think it's HARD to buy anything to eat that doesn't come in 5 million containers around it. or any product for that matter. it's impossible to live without garbage in the modern society, at least that i can figure out so far.
if i had the $ to go build the dome house i want with the solar panels and wind power and garden and raise everything myself, i sure the heck would! that is one of my dreams! but i cannot start a compost heap in my apartment nor go to the bathroom outside without being arrested :)
blah blah...ya, i'm jacked up..it
hasn't been a good day...and i'm just like ARGH. i think u were missing what
i was trying to convey in my anagram.
and yes, this is just one of those issues that gets me really upset and i
don't really know how to not get upset about it, which is part of what that
anagram was about.
it's one of those "pushing
my button" issues
and i'm trying 2 get 2 the bottom of it in my own way. i can't force it or
rush it.
Posted by ANA on December 07, 1999 at 04:28:09:
In Reply to: vegans and recycling
on December 07, 1999 at 03:56:29:
it's deeper than recycling. at last paper and aluminum are biodegradable. it's things like "lunchables" that make me sick with there billions of plastic containers within containers of completely unrecyclable stuff.
but then u should pick plastic to save the trees!
and what about all the water that
goes into cleaning all that stuff before it can be recyled?
it's just endless.
which is why i really feel that what it really boils down to is to do the thing that feels the most joyful for u. somehow...to act intuitively and from the heart on these matters and NOT take action because of guilt, fear, shame, keeping up with the neighbours, being PC, vanity , "one-upping" anyone, etc ...but i also do not let sloth, gluttony, uncaring feelings dictate your actions either. it's not an apathetic thing i'm talking about. i'm saying be MOVED to DO something because you would have just done it anyway..regardless of the state of the earth..because it comes from the core of your being to do so.
i know that guilt and fear don't seem like concrete things like an aluminum can, but i really feel that to recycle because of fear and/or guilt..will..ultimately bring this earth down faster than not recycling. because i believe everything is made of "energy" the same energy that makes that can. and the guilt energy is real and just as damaging if not more so to the earth and all her inhabitants. of course, that goes against science and logic perhaps...
well, that is a subject i could really write about a trillion pages on..but i'm running out of steam here bad...maybe i'll be able to explain myself better tomorrow :)
more haikus from fellow anacamers! ( i keep adding 2 this analog, if i add to it anymore it'll fall over from it's own weight!)
by phred:
Aluminum foil,
Chewed hard, with winter-dried teeth:
Chills right up my spine!
by spiral:
some call it tin foil/
really, its my wallpaper/
it is my fetish/
by celtic king:
Shiny, crinkly hat;
protecting my tender brain
from their influence.
by bill:
aluminum foil
protect my head from the sky
government mind rays
cafeteria
i bit it, then shrieked in pain
aluminum foil