to my friends
who responded to my dad's letter :) [30 Nov 2001|09:15am]
i fwd 2 my dad the nice things you wrote in response to his letter to me that
i posted here a day ago.
here is part of what he replied just now:
"Wow!
Those notes were pretty affirming. Made me cry. Sometimes it's hard
to be a parent and you really wonder if you're doing anything right.
Thanks for sharing them with me. Made my day."
and my dad
NEVER EVER cries ( that i know of )...so your words really affected him deeply.
thank you from the bottom of my heart :) it's the most precious gift i could
have ever been given. i love my dad so much. sometimes it's so hard to get
through to him....but i know he's "there". i am truly blessed. and
i am ALSO blessed to have you here with me. thank you so very much...more
than words could ever convey!
sick :( [01
Dec 2001|09:25pm]
i'm sick again, staying at jason's place tonight.
i'll be back tomorrow
ana2 members:
please read my post under the bed.
thanks :)
here is the post:
Posted by ANA on December 02, 2001 at 16:57:21:
i
have a lot of house cleaning to do. i still feel weak. but i just wanna get
some cleaning done now that i have the energy so that i can relax in a clean
place tonight as i watch all my tv shows with jason ( simpsons, king of the
hill, home movies, sealab 2021)
i am going to tell you the truth of what happened but i'm only saying it in
here because i do not want all the judgements if i posted it anywhere else.
and i'll explain it all more later but in a nutshell, i drank too mcuh of
this stuff that was 99 proof.
i just wanted to get to sleep because i was very nervous. i had two glasses
of it, and i thought that was all i had...but after the 2nd glass i blacked
out and later found out that i had drunk the entire bottle. .1 is legally
drunk and i was .36. they told me that at .4 you can die.
jason brought me into the emergency room where i had an IV and they put that
tube down my nose and pumped me with 700 pounds of liquid charcoal...which
i then , for the next 24 hours have been crapping it out of me in a not a
nice way and throwing up. also having terrible anxiety.
they almost kept me there for a "72 hour hold"...and it was the
weekend so those days wouldn't have even counted. not to mention i cannot
even afford the time i WAS in there let alone 5 days.
jason read the patients bill of rights and got me off the 72 hour hold and
i got home in 12 hours.
he is my angel. my love. thank god for him.
what an idiot i am. they thought that perhaps i was suiciadal because i drank so much. but that is just not the case. i'm just really anxious.
anyway...this story goes on forever and it's really embarrassing and i know that i need to come up with a better way of dealing with my anxiety/sorrow/anger than by drinking.
i'm still weak and shaky and so embarrassed it's hard to write this.
so,
i'm glad that i'm alive.
i just gotta pick myself up here and keep on keeping on.
i'll
let you know more as i get the time and energy to type.
my nose and throat hurt from the tube and my arms are black and blue from
needles and all the charcoal has STILL not left my system. gah.
but i'm eternally grateful that jason brought me to the hospital and i'm glad
that i did not die.
augh.
love,
ana
--------
i'm home. i'm better. i'm cleaning. more later... thanks you everyone for your kind words. :) and yes, i certainly have been sick a lot lately. it's ridiculous.