Saturday, September 2nd, 2000
6:06a i just
deleted a whole gob of people from my friends list and will probably delete
even more and just get it down t 5 people simply because i cannot keep track
of thirty people's journals or even twenty or ten for that matter. eek.
so i wasn't even going into my friends section and reading much lately because
it was all too overwhelming of a task for me to comprehend.
SO, if u are one of the people i deleted. PLEASE take no offense in it. i
still know who u all are and i have u in my bookmarks :) and maybe i will
rotate journals..like pick 5 people fr 2 weeks then 5 different for another
two..i dunno..all i know is that i had too many to read and it was stopping
me from being able to keep track of even one! ack!
here it is,
6am andv i'm still up and sniffing and snorting away with my cold. i'm waiting
for this next round of cold medicine to kick in and then i can drift off into
a rubbery sleep with my obsidian orb :)
6:28a pink furry bunnies
:)
11:00a augh. i'm up again for awhile 'cause i cannot breathe. i can't find
an effecient medicine that will unclog me. it's so damn uncomfortable. i've
been trying alka seltzer cold medicine, and theraflu, and they bring some
relief a bit..but now i've wakened becaus i cannot breathe out of either nostril.
does anyone
have any suggestions on what is THEE best thing to allow u 2 breathe?
1:26p i took some more alka seltzer cold medicine and also made some wasabi
and ate a bit with carrots. that helped a little. so i'm going back into the
kitchen for soem more wasabi, then i'm crawling back into bed
what in the heck IS wasabi?
and the directiosn say "mix it with lukewarm water" how did the word "lukewarm" come to be?
too bad i don't have the streaming video with audio on, 'cause that theraflu makes me talk to myself out loud all sorts of ridiculous things.
like i'm singing that "plant man" song....i cannot remember who wrote it..it was a guy who was a drummer from a band.
plant maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.......
2:19p i still can't breathe very well, so i decided to make use of my awake
time and go to spiritweb.org which is the best ever place for anything "spiritual"
"new age" "aliens; etc.
i was SO into it for a few years and i was so excited and could feel myself growing. i need to get back to my spirituality, my "path"...i think that , in part, is the cause of why i am so sick.
i know that
this will be too weird for most of u , but
http://www.spiritweb.org/Spirit/pleiadian.10.15.1990.html
that url,
in it says so much...when u go there
sorry i am not forming my sentences very well...too much cold medicine, too
little sleep
i could write
for DAYS about so much right now that is zipping through my head at lightning
speed. i am sad with myself that i have stuffed my spirituality , and body/mind/spirit,
once again, into a very narrow confining shape.
hard 2 describe.
anyway....so
i went 2 spiritweb.org to look up what are the healing properties of obsidian,
since that is one of my most favourite types of rock ever, if not my very
very fave :) and the other day i bought an obsidian orb that weighs about
3 pounds. and i know that is intense. and if i'm gonna be around it a lot
i wanted 2 know what it's "properties" are.
(i know some of u at this point are going, 'huh?'")
so the url i posted above i found as a did a search on obsidian and here is a bit of what the pleiadians say about obsidian:
Question: I have a question about body work. Are there any particular stones or things -- like something that you can have on your body when you are doing body work, to help protect you from taking on someone else's energies?
Well, first of all, the best thing you can rely on to not take on someone else's energies is your clarity. And your willingness to not fix everyone.
Now, obsidian, of course is quite handy. But we don't like you humans to get over-reliant on tools. Understand? Because then you think that it is in the tool, rather than within yourself. And then you become victimized, and you say, well, it didn't work.
You be clear about who you are, and you use the properties of certain energies to keep yourself in balance. For body workers, we would say obsidian for keeping off someone else's vibrations --for keeping yours connected with your psychic centers open. "
very interesting!!!! and i SO much do NOT want to soak in other people's energies
that i go out and buy a three pound obsdian orb!
isn't it weird how if we just trust our instincts, it's just the right thing
to do..even if it makes no sense at the time?
2:24p and again, something i know, and i see it written:
"We see electronics, as electronics and as the current presently runs
through your system -- it is a current that is not compatible with the human
current that is in the body. Humans are electrical and these various appliances
run on electricity. The entire electrical system is not in harmony with the
physical body. Your Mr. Tesla came up with an electrical system that was much
more harmonious with the human body, but it was not implemented"
here:
http://www.spiritweb.org/Spirit/pleiadian.10.15.1990.html
people ask
me what is the hardest aspevct of your cam? and i say it's the NOISE from
the computers and hubs!
but i know it's not just noise but they are emanating something that is disharmonious
to my body.
augh!
i need a big house so i can put all the computers in one room and get my body
away from them.
not just computers..but
the refrigerator, too, etc
8:45p i'm completely at a loss over what 2 do with myself at this moment.
10:30p i just do not like rocky and bullwinkle cartoons. sorry.
10:43p there's a huge thunderstorm out!! yay!!
11:04p mmmm, fresh night thunderstorm air blowing tthrough my windows. i opened
them all up. i am so glad for the fresh air, it was starting to feel like
an airplane in here!
jason's trying
2 fall asleep, he is worried he might be catching my cold now, and he starts
his new job on tuesday
11:15p so much water in the sky. it's amazing it could ever defy gravity!
and why does it come down in drops rather than in one big chunk?
11:23p i'm shutting down my computers until this thunderstorm has passed.there's
a lot of lightning. i just heard some thunder that was SO loud it made people's
car alarms go off!
weeee :)
1:59a i have "kumbiya" (sp?) stuck in my head. what a drag. especially
since it's the version from southpark that th guy from the vietnam war sang.
pooka and deiter were scared of the thunder, so i took the black chair and
pointed it towards the windows and we all sat and watched the enormous amount
of lightning and waterfalls of rain.
jason is in bed now asleep , and i hope i will be soon, too
i have so much 2 say, but i wrote it down in a snail mail letter, so now it's out and over with. sort of.
my dried eucalyptus that i got got from pier one has stopped smelling :/ it smells like nothing at all now
gee, what other FASCINATING things can i tell u now?
actually, a lot of things, but they're secret...so....there u have it
do u have
a big secret that u never tell anyone? or a small one?
5:59a i've been up all night again scanning through people's live journals,
trying 2 take it all in
6:08a hmmm, my public forum, "anarchy" , has disappeared!
6:24a ok, off 2 bed i go..no really...i am gonna go 2 sleep..i hope... :)
2:54p i feel a LOT better today :) i'm still stuffed up, but i can breathe
:) and i even have some energy! i am dancing around my house 2 prince :) starfish
and coffee...
this morning i woke up at one point because jason was awake and sifting through his stuff, looking for something...and i was still 1/2 in my dream, and suddenly i thought i knew i had 2 tell him something about what was going on ( in my dream ), but it was too complicated to tell him so i had 2 think of a way 2 simplify what i needed 2 convey 2 him...and i so i said right out loud at him "it's the 12 answers! it's the 12 answers!"
and jason was like "huh?"
and i still kept saying "it's the 12 answers!" then i realized that made NO sense whatsoever, and i got out of my dream state and then i could not even remember ANYTHING as to what that dream was about and why i said to him what i did.
curious!
mmm, "hot
thing" by prince is playing, i must go dance :) i used 2 strip 2 this
song at the payne reliever. and if any of u know what that place is like u
will laugh :)
it's in saint paul, a big heavy metal bar . and in saint paul it is illegal
for their to be naked women in a bar, so in saint paul the strip bars got
around this by putting the strippers at a different address and the only thing
separating the bar, and the place where the strippers are is a piece of clear
glass. and then the guys would slip dollars through small cracks at the bottom.
isn't that hilarious?
i always enjoyed stripping there cause then i could pretend that i could not hear all the stupid stuff the guys would always say to me and i would just shrug at them and keep dancing. i have a lot of stories about that place :)
i miss the fun parts of stripping. i loved prancing around in high heels lip synching to "super freak" and then getting paid to do that :) but god, it's the interaction withthe STUPID STUPID guys that just totally wrecks it and drains me.
and thank GOD i never had 2 do any lap dances or anything like that at all. those weren't in fashion here when i stripped. lap dances look like they totally suck to do.
i wish their
were more lesbian bars in this city. 'cause i think it would be really fun
2 strip for women 'cause i don't think they would say that stupid stuff and
i think they would appreciate the dancing and the outfits and not just be
there to see a pussy in their face.
i like stripping when it's an art form. i like 2 be appreciated for my dancing
and the time i put into the whole "show"
there is a
bar here called " the rainbow" or something, i have never been to
it, and thnen there is another one but i forgot it's name..and i think those
are it for lesbian bars here. if there are more than two, let me know. i haven't
been to either one..but i wonder if they would be interested in me stripping
for them on certain nights, once in awhile, just for the heck of it
3:48p i'm taking pictures with my izone camera. the thing takes really shitty
pix, but i'm trying 2 figure out it's quirks so i can use it's faults to my
advantage. i took a REALLY cute picture of pooka :)
i'll scan these pictures and put them in the next anagram :)
and zuul..all your questions about stripping, i'll get back 2 ya on that :)
4:29p i want 2 take pictures of what is outsid my window with my izone cam,
but there are wasps flying around out there :(
i feel very
very motivated to take pictures of my neighbourhood. altho, i wouldn't be
able to publically show them until i moved out of here cause i don't want
stalkers, but then part of me just wants to say fuck that...i shouldn't have
to be afraid to let people know where i live.
i battle with that every day. cayse there is just so much more i want to show
u. maybe i will another site and it will be secret and only the people i trust
will have access to it.
still, sadly and bitterly, i never REALLY know who i can trust. i have had
so many loving people around me that snapped and turned into complete psychos.so
i know that a person could seem like the most trustable person on earth...but
something could happen to them, or they were hiding their evil side, i don't
know....it's like dr jeckyl and mr hyde.
to let people
know where i live would be a radical political statement in that it would
say i shouldn't have to hide because of the kind of person i am, or what i
do for a living, and that i am a female. if i let people know where i live
and i get stalked...people will have no mercy and they will say i "asked
for it" and that i was stupid.
i want 2 say that it if i let people know where i lived...i am not asking
for anything except that be able to take photographs of my neighbourhood and
share them with people.
i want to say , "fuck u, i will not hide!"
i wish i knew
of bodyguards in minneapolis or saint paul. how much does a body guard cost?
does anyone wanna be my bodyguard so i can go for walks at 2am OUTSIDE? so
i can just feel the night air?
i don't want to get killed , i just want to go for a walk! and take pictures
of my neighbourhood!
i fel like an animla that is quarantine. i can't go out at night...so just take 50% of my life right there that cannot experience the planet earth. then i can only walk in certain neighbourhoods at the RIGHT time of day. then take into account that 50% of the countries i also canot experience alone or i could be stoned or sold into slavery or like in italy, if u are a woman alone in a bar, they assume that u are a prostitute and have their way with u.
ok, i'm gonna go back 2 taking pix..so muh is on my mind today...the biggest thing that is on my mind i cannot even tell for it invade another's privacy.
i still like i'm stuck in a square both physically and mentally
i am lighting tibetan snow lion incense. it smells like a bonfire.
last night when there was the huge thunderstorm, i turned off all the computers because there was constant lightning. and i opened the windows and let in that yummy night thunderstorm smell :) and i turned the black chair towards the windows and sat with no computers are hubs buzzing and got to just take in the sound of thunder and rain hitting pavement furiously :)
pooka was scared of the thunder, so deiter and pooka and i sat in the chair and i was so happy but it frustrated the hell out of me that i could not share it with u. it's just in my memory now, that is all. a perfect moment, only to be expressed in these unqualiied words.
i was thinking yesterday, and serveral other times, that sometimes i can get so caught up in trying to capture the moment, that i miss the moment.
when i document a moment, it is no longer just that moment...i am documenting the experience of documenting a moment. and that , to me, is very funny and tricky.
the trick to make it so that u do not miss "the moment" is to know that the moment is about me documenting the moment and sharing it...and when the only thing in the world i want to do at that moment is to document it, that's when it's perfect
i have no idea if that makes any sense to anyone 'cause there aren't many people that do what i do...i would venture to say that perhaps i am the only one documenting in the way that i do
ack.
what i should be doing is figuring out all my finances and do the end of the
month anacam stuff, and get all the bills paid. and i have to get this sea
of paper that is around my desk and chair ORGANIZED.
man oh man.
ya, i better do that. it's weighing on me
4:52p fuck doing my finances right now. i can do that tonight. i need to get
outside! it's 70 degreees , so that's perfect. i need to lay on some grass,
altho i'll bet it's too wet to lay on with all that rain last night.
really hardcore photyographers i've met, i've felt like the were actually hiding behind their cameas, and didn't even know how to interact without it. it was their safety blanket..the wall that separated us, yet was utterly necesarry 2 then to interact with others.
i don't think this will ever hapen to me, but it's interesting to experience little portions of it as i walk around with many cameras outside and haven't a clue what to do with them ot what exposure or what kind of film 2 use..it's SO complicated!
Monday, September 4th, 2000
12:20a i never did get outside.
1:53a the 50% less fat oreos are scary
Tuesday, September 5th, 2000
11:43a ok, i'm up:) i'm groggy
here are some funny things people put in a search engine and found anacam:
anna norway
doing the wild thing
s club 7 .com
doing what you want
watch bands
it's time
for some diet dr. pepper and some loud music.
i dunno what music i'll play yet
they sure
are playing that msnbc thng a lot! it's so weird that almost everytime i get
on tv and they play it a lot...i'll end up being sick and just laying there
or i'll be gone!
lol :) oh well, i guess that weeds out the people who are just here for a
quick thrill and those that'll actually stick around 'cause they have patience
and have a stronger curiousity and time to peruse the rest of my site :)
i had really weird dreams ( of course ) again. they weren't too terrible, just parts were uncomfortable. but i dreamt i got two more japanese chin, but they weren't really chin, they looked like a combination between a pekinese and a snow monkey. one was chocolate brown, and one had lighter fur..like coffee with cream. i called the darker one "monkey" and the lighter one "chirpchirp" cause he made these cute chirping noises.
i think i got that cause last night pooka went NUTS for the obsidian orb! i mean, he went WACKO and loved it SO much and made these cute chirping noses while he batted at it furiously and licked it and fliupped over on his back doing this while still continuing to furiously wve all his paws in the air..it was INCREDIBLE. both jason and i were in tears from the cuteness factor. we were laughing so much we cried! and we agreed that that was hands down the cutest thing we've EVER seen!
wow :)
i love my
dogs :)
12:06p wow, if u go look at what are the most popular common interests of
the people who have livejournals u can just see that, well, at least for me,
that i love almost all the things that were themost common! "we"
really are a particular kind of "crowd" . i don't know how to say
it.
like , for example..."music" is the most popular thing of all
and tori amos was listed as the most popular music to listen to
nad then there was bjork, portishead, the cure, nine inch nails
then their is goth, glitter, faeries
"women" was the seventh most popular "thing"
i am going
to go through all 399 journals that listed women as a fave thing..and see
how many of those are men that said that and how many are women ( as much
as i can tell )
12:16p it's definitely mostly men who listed women as one of their fave interests
in livejournal
12:56p wow, it's only 65 degrees out. september is here!
i am going to now attempt to clean up the pile of crap around my desk
wish me luck!
1:11p how many days now have i been wearing this same outfit? 5?? man, i need
a bath. today is the first day i don't feel totally clogged up. i'm glad i
had only a week long cold instead of that one that lasted a month last time
and had that cough with it. i am so glad to be getting well. nice to get my
head out of the cold medication fog and get back to creating with my cam and
cleaning all the stuff that went all over my floor. i think all the paper
around my desk had lots of babies while i wasn't paying attention.
which reminds me of partof my dream last night that those monkey dogs i had, had babies..or some small animal did. it was as small as a mouse. and it gave birth to too many babies. there were not enough nipples on the creatures body to feed them all, and i knew many would die, and i tried to think of a solution so they would not die, but couldn't. and there were people around me having a party and no one would pay attention to the dilemma of the too many babies no matter how much i tried to bring it to their attention
another dream
i had was that i was far way from home and i had this amazing bicycle type
thing that wnet very fast on little energy on my part...peddling it. u didn't
actually peddle it, but i can't describe that. i was glad to have this new
thing so i didn't have to take the bus and i could get lots of excercise then
going to and fro from work/school.
then two more people joined me on my path, and they both had odd bicycles
too and we were kind of a happy clan rising our weird devices ona nice new
smmoth road out in the country. then i i accidentally scraped against some
yellow roses that were growing on the sid of the road, and i thought it would
be a waste to leave them there ( there were three ) and so i picked them up
and tried to hold onto them as i cycled, but then everything went out of balance
and i never could get back into balance then after that
ya..u can
see how much cleaning i'm gonna get done today :)
8:08p i think it's very sad that we are taight to yell "fire" instead
of "rape" because that is likely to get more people to respond.
i cleaned
for 6 hours today. i still have so much more 2 go.
11:52a actually, i wasn't very clear in my entry below this one. i meant,
it's sad that if we are raped, we are taught to yell "fire" instead
of rape.
i have seen this now in many publications about safety..and it's also written
on my can of mace i just got.
speaking of violence, i had the worst dreams about a guy who became obessed with trying 2 kill me and my family and would come into my place of work and whisper to me all the violent things he would do to me when i got off work. ack.
bad dreams get out of my head!
in better
new, it was nice 2 wake up 2 a cleaner house.
it's all cloudy today, so i don't know how much i'll get done today on anything.
whenever it's cloudy m my solar powered battery clicks off and i just zone.
i noticed in the new priceline.com commercial where william shatner is talking over the song "do you know where you're going to?", that it is ben folds from ben folds five playing the piano.
years and years ago, when i was on tour with my band, the blue up? , ben folds five opened for US in the south..and for the likes of me i cannot think of where..but i tell u we felt like IDIOTS that they were opening for us. we hadn't heard of them before, and there were only about ten people that showed up that night...but it was a wonderful night seeing this new incredible band. and after they were done, the three of them, all by themselves, took their beat up grand piano off the stage and lifted it through the door into their van. i was awestruck.
i am SO glad that they got big. i just knew they would. they are so amazing! it was a happy night to be there.
argh, i know
what the city is called, but i cannot even think of the stae the city is in.
but the bar was located in this trendy bohemian part of town called 5 corners
of something.
and the house sound guy was really psycho and looked like if elvis were a
vampire and was obessed with rolex watches.
5:10p tori amos gave birth to a girl!! :)
TORI AMOS ANNOUNCES LONG-AWAITED NEW RELEASE: A BABY GIRL!
Atlantic recording artist Tori Amos and her husband, recording engineer Mark Hawley, are pleased to announce the birth of their daughter. Born on September 5th, the baby weighed 7-pounds, 1-ounce and measured 21 inches at birth. This is the first child for both Amos and Hawley, and all three are doing very well. Upon feeding her daughter for the first time, Tori noted that "an ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila."
Tori is doing really well, her and Mark are really excited about their latest production!
---------
so what do u think she should name her?
6:07p shane from interotique.com is interested in doing streaming with me
again :) so pretty soon i'll be streaming with emulive like i was before the
whole hereandnow thing.
erik won't get back to me about stuff still, so i'll ixney that as a possibility
for now.
the emulive won't have sound, but i'm going to try to get another computer
that i can talk 2 u on, and also play u music. i just have to find out how
to geta license to play music.
anyone know how to do that who to pay, etc?
then people can listen to music when they don't wanna watch the streamin vid
or vice versa
soon jason is going to his piano lesson, he has decided to start doing that again. so he is gonna drop me off at the food store while he goes, do i can get the veggies and fruit that my body/mind/spirit desparetly needs! like CHERRIES! please god, let there still b cherries! or maybe i have missed that season :(
sorry i have been ignoring the cam so much. my mind has been really preoccupied with so many things and it's just in a creative way right now
now i gotta go find a blank video cassette so i can tape big brother while i'm gone
i'll try to
get a new anagram up soon :)
11:51p i bought sooooo much yummy food :)
they didn't have cherries, but i got strawberries and blackberries :)
i'm gonna go watch tv in bed now. it was a stressful day, but after all is
said in done it was productive, so i feel good about that :)
1:06p i'm working on a new anagram
eating smoked gouda
i had a dream i was on the run with an asain emperor who had been forced to marry at age 5.
then i also WAS the emperor. we ran through foggy little towns in valleys, tried to discern what was a river and what was a highway. trying 2 find some place 2 settle down for the night that wasn't cold and wet and where they would not find us.
it totally
sucked.
i often dream i'm on the run from the government or some huge organization
------
other posts:
Posted by ANA on September 06, 2000 at 19:07:19:
shane from
interotique.com is interested in doing streaming with me again :) so pretty
soon i'll be streaming with emulive like i was before the whole hereandnow
thing.
erik won't get back to me about stuff still, so i'll ixney that as a possibility
for now.
the emulive won't have sound, but i'm going to try to get another computer
that i can talk 2 u on, and also play u music. i just have to find out how
to geta license to play music.
anyone know how to do that who to pay, etc?
then people can listen to music when they don't wanna watch the streamin vid
or vice versa
soon jaosn is going to his piano lesson, he has decided to start doing that again. so he is gonna drop me off at the food store while he goes, do i can get the veggies and fruit that my body/mind/spirit desparetly needs! like CHERRIES! please god, let there still b cherries! or maybe i have missed that season :(
sorry i have been ignoring the cam so much. my mind has been really preoccupied with so many things and it's just in a creative way right now
now i gotta go find a blank video cassette so i can tape big brother while i'm gone
i'll try to get a new anagram up soon :)
-------
Posted by ANA on September 01, 2000 at 11:06:51:
new
in archive:
pages 71-101
i have all
these things i wanna work on in ana2, like get up tons of archives, and i
finally got soem headway at cleaning the house because i got those shelves,
and i was starting 2 feel creative...and now..after going to the state fair
with my dad, i woke up with a horrible rotten cold, so i have no energy at
all. :( *meow* :(
so, if my cam gets mighty boring and nothing gets done in the next few days,
u know why
*sigh*
*falls over into the couch upside down*