analog 041801

[03 Apr 2001|12:49am]

plant flowers in your orbs are on the many stories to while eating your cheerios

ANA2 MEMBERS READ THIS
[05 Apr 2001|05:09pm]
ok, i cannot get into ana2 right now...every url i put in takes me back to the sign up page. one other person wrote me and told me this was happening to them too. rrrgh.
is this happening to anyone else?
7 comments|post comment

ok, nevermind it's fixed now :) [05 Apr 2001|05:55pm]
la la la

http://www.gothic.net/~squee/netgoths.html

oh.mi.god

everyone's name is Vampyre D'eath or something..then go to their webpages!
you've GOT 2 see this guy: Adrian Alexis

then check out his page. woa. dark dude. i am...lamenting....
7 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2001|05:13am]
this place is hilarious :)

http://www.livejournal.com/users/dooty/
2 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2001|01:18pm]
my mom called me again at noon. wants me to call her back. i'm NOT falling back into that trap again. nosirree. she can write me letters, then i can have PROOF of what she says so she can't twist it all back around on me. but not the telephone. no way.
16 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2001|04:38pm]
ok, goldfrapp is my new musical obsession. must have. now. needing. buying. goldfrapp.
2 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2001|05:24pm]
my zombies import of a sides and b sides couldn't be founf by amazon :(
so i ordered golfrapp felt mountain and
nina hagen nunsexmonkrock

i had a gift certificate :) i can't wait to get these cds!

i went over and looked and jason's new empty aprtment that he is going to move into monday morning. so strange...i couldn't really comprehend it.

i called my mom and told her that she should write me a letter. i don't think she really grasped the significance and importance of doing that in order to have a better relationship. she just keeps trying to forget everything then talk about mundane things. she says she wants a realtionship with me and i said that can't happen until u write me a letter about what is the problem as u see it. she said " i thought you were gonna write ME a letter" i said that she was supposed to write me first since she is the one who has a problem with me and the only problem i had with her is that she had a problem with me. and she just laughed and said " oh you're so silly"
and i said what is silly?

then she proceeded to tell me that i'll have to get a license now to drive that car. she said you know there's a written part and then there's the part where u have to drive. and i'm like " I KNOW"

i don't know why she keeps treating me like i'm utterly stupid. but i hope she writes me so i can TRY to get to the bottom of this.

i got off the phone before it esculated into bigger hostility. she's trying...but she just doesn't know what 2 do...i wave my hands in the air but she is blind. i will be VERY interested as to what she writes in a letter to me, if indeed she ever does write it.

now i'm blasting music and cleaning. open windows. grey rainy day. brain eno, elastica...

i'm gonna try to lean the couch vertically against the wall so i cam freaking vacuum in here. i am thinking of taking the carpetting out. i think that might i'm prove my overall health
6 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2001|09:02pm]
thunder and lightning!!!!!
aaa!!!!! the first thunder and lightning! ohmigod that is EXACTLY what i need!
purge purge move move ya ya ya!

thunderstorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm :)

cool flash animation by scott bateman about when stacy ( atomcam.com ) and i went to see laurie anderson and i embarrassed her 2 death. ( sorry stacy )

www.batemania.com/animation/laurie.html

[07 Apr 2001|02:34pm]
i guess he comes home even earlier than that! i get to see him in 5 hours!
i must go hunt for food. there is nothing in here and the dogs need food too.
i had some REALLY weird dreams...i think they were mostly very positive, which is nice for a change :)
i hope i will write them down later...if i even can explain them.
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my one and only love, jason :) [07 Apr 2001|03:11pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

5 comments|post comment

[07 Apr 2001|04:56pm]
it's pouring outside.

today i feel like completely shutting down all forms of ways that people could reach me to tell me anything. i feel like taking down all the forums and having it so no one can comment on my LJ and not posting my email and not having a chatroom or just any possible way that anyone could interject a thought about my life in any way at all.

of course i love the kind people and they have always made up for the nonkind people. but today i just feel raw. at least i do this hour. i'm sure i'll feel better later on.
i have drained myself by my curiousity to know what others think and feel to the point that i do not even know myself what i think and feel today. i have tried to see so many things from too many viewpoints that i just feel a bit lost in a fog

i need some time to not talk to anyone now about anything. even if it was talking about a happy thing, i don't think i have the will to speak nor type.

i really just need to stare at the rain, listen to music, get my house in order and be with jason and my dogs. and also since he will be here tonight and i haven't seen him in a week, u most likely won't see much of anything on cam either.

i'll check back with everyone again on tuesday, after all the moving is over with

or maybe it'll be next hour...who knows....

i must release all this jumbled up energy in me now. too much too much

gonna go hug the doglets
3 comments|post comment

communication [07 Apr 2001|05:59pm]
ok well...me not communicating and not reading other communications is just not gonna fly. to be so grandiose and say i'm gonna cut off all communication is too drastic and feels too enclosing and unhappy. i'll find the middle ground

promise i will get a big new anagram up tonight
and plus very soon i'll also put new anapix up
3 comments|post comment

want something to talk about? [07 Apr 2001|06:23pm]

87 comments here: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=2840244

www.streetharassmentproject.org [08 Apr 2001|01:20am]
the url above is wonderful! find out how to stop street harassment!
thank to lisagoddess for putting that link in her LJ

the dogs broke my cam somehow. i will fix it in the morning, tho.
so for tonight i'm showing anapix ( anacam.com/anapix )

tomorrow jason is gonna pack all his stuff. he thinks it won't take much time 'cause
he thinks he doesn't have that much stuff. but i think it will take longer than he thinks :)
but maybe he will prove me wrong, as he often does :)
3 comments|post comment

can u help the dalai lama? [08 Apr 2001|01:17pm]
Hi Ana --

Hope you're doing well! (Roy here, from 'HearMe / Shout 2000 ;-)

I was wondering if you could perhaps help me with something... His Holiness
The 14th Dalai Lama is coming to Shoreline May 17th-20th. I'm pulling
together a live webcast and looking for a datacenter to sponsor the feed
(MP3 icecast and/or Windows Media).

The hosting point would have a fat pipe and a UNIX box (preferably Linux).
If you know of anyone willing to help out on this, please, please, forward
this on.

Thanks!

Roy Harvey
roy@lamrim.com
1 comment|post comment

[08 Apr 2001|02:41pm]
oooooo! i see green grass appearing!!!!
6 comments|post comment

WOMEN'S BODIES/CYCLES SILENCED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! [08 Apr 2001|06:11pm]
"Dear LiveJournal user,
We have received several complaints about your post dated Saturday April 7th 2001 6:23pm and entitled `want something to talk about`. The post is quite frankly, vulgar. Therefore I'm going to ask that you either take the offending pictures down or make the entry private (friends only). This is something the general public should not have access to. Note that artistic nudity is given broad consideration, but this is by no means artistic in any way.
Regards,
LiveJournal Abuse Team"

my reply:

i think that those photos are art. absolutely.
i think they hit upon a very sensitive vein that needs more light shed upon this subject.
how women's vagina's are CONSTANTLY being dehumanized...
this brings back, i feel, the reality of OUR bodies.
it is NOT vulgar. it is NATURAL.
how many women are reading this that have their period right now?
*raises hand*
and it briings up the subject of:
why is it that it's ok in our society to have so much violence depicted and so much blood squirting out of people because of acts of violence...and we can't get enough of this but it is VULGAR to show ONE TABLESPOON of blood shed in a a NONVIOLENT NATURAL way on a piece of sanitized cotton? huh?

does that make any sense?? no!

why is this such a taboo subject? why is it that most people (a larger percentage being men ) can't get enough blood and gore in news and war and tv and movies but cringe at a freakin' tablespoon of blood on a sanitized piece of cotton shed in a nonviolent natural way?

why can't women talk about their periods?
why can't we show EVIDENCE that we bleed all the time?
how is this a big deal? and how is this vulgar?

it's not even a poison like shit that is toxicwaste coming out of our bodies...
it actually GOOD to eat. it IS your FIRST fucking meal when u are in the womb!!!!
yes, YOU ate it. ALL of us did!
it's what kept YOU alive. not one of us would be here without it.

it is the very beginning of life and the EVIDENCE of how life begins, and i think that's sacred.

why is it ok to show sperm shooting all over the place?
why can't WE show OUR eggs????

i made those pictures to bring these objects up to talk about.
it evokes people to start a dialogue
isn't that part of art then?

what is art?
who is to say?

i say that I AM an artist and THIS IS ART.
i made it. i'm proud of it.
there is NOTHING violent about it, there is NOTHING being HURT by it
except for some people who just are just a bunch of squeamish people

AS A WOMAN I WILL NOT BE SILENCED ABOUT ISSUES I HAVE WITH MY VERY OWN PERSONAL BODY!
IT IS MY RIGHT TO MAKE MY ART!
AS LONG AS NO HARM IS DONE TO ANYONE BY IT, and no harm IS being done AT ALL, then it is NOT vulgar!

no harm. no violence there. NOTHING being dehumanized.
quite the opposite

SPEAK UP? what do u think? should i be forced to take these pictures dow?
.
i am a paying member of the livejournal community.

people who do not like the sight of blood do NOT have to come here, it's as simple as that. i am not forcing anyone to view these pictures of

1) a pretty tastefully hidden shot of a vagina as it's totally enveloped in pubic hair and text.. it's not "spread out" or fucking a donkey or something. there are TONS of photos of vaginas in the livejournal community.
2) a very small amount of blood on santized cotton.
3) natural human hair. that's IT.

IF MEN/women WANT PUSSY IT'S TIME FOR THEM TO SEE THE WHOLE DAMN PICTURE. and GET OVER IT!

I WILL NOT BE SILENCED OVER WHAT MY BODY DOES 84 DAYS OF THE YEAR NATURALLY!

if any of these pictures are forced to be taken down, i think the only fair thing then would be to take EVERY photo that has to do with the human body DOWN.

and once again, i must reiterate that these pictures are NONVIOLENT and NOT HARMING ANYONE.

please feel free to copy any of this to your livejournal. please pass around that this is happening. livejournal is about communication and getting to know people better and learn of other cultures and other ways. to make a step past that dividing line.
how can i, as a WOMAN, communicate about MY life is i CANNOT talk about, show, make art about, MY BODY?
it's pretty obvious that a woman's body is quite the political battlefield whether u want to admit it or not ( just look at the fight about abortion or a tv commercial )
MY period is a MAJOR part of my life. it pretty much DOMINATES the entire way that i am...with it's cycles and hormone shifts, etc etc.

it CANNOT be ignored. i will NOT let it be ignored.

with all of these pristine sanitized shaved and spread out pictures of vaginas virtually everywhere....
why can't i show it in it's NATURAL state?
what is so wrong with that?

should we then also say that BIRTH is vulgar?
should all pictures of MOTHERHOOD be taken off?

please send an email in support of women being able to communicate about their own bodies in a nonharmful way to:

(email deleted since this is over)

153 comments here

i don't have to take it down :) yay to brad! [08 Apr 2001|08:07pm]
my emails with brad ( yay! brad! yay! brad.livejournal.com ), creator of livejournal:

he wrote me back this:

"Wasn't me, but I agree with you....

Abuse staff ---- Ana is one of our earliest users, and has brought in more
people than anybody else. She's not abusing LiveJournal, even if it is
offensive to some.

- Brad"

brad , thank u, u kick ass :)
i knew it couldn't haved been u who told me to take down my art!
*whew*
thank u!
now the livejournal community can keep on communicating and expressing with each other ( in a nonharmful way )
i think that livejournal is one of the most important creations on the web, each day i watch it grow and it makes me so happy. i think it's revolutionary!

-------and

thanks to curmudgeon for this link!
http://www.maximag.com/issue/archive/body/bloody/bloody.html

70 comments here

[10 Apr 2001|12:24pm]
well, THAT was sure an interesting ride, eh?

thank u infinitely to everyone who helped support the cause for women to be able to speak freely about their bodies :)
i really was surprised by how much positive feedback i got, and it renewed my hope that the world is indeed becoming more aware, open , and loving :)

i could have never posted something like that 10 years ago because i would have been too afraid of being thrown into that " hysterical crazy woman" category, put in that box, and therefore totally dismissed.

i would have never spoken up like that for fear of losing all my male friends, since almost all of my friends are males.
but now i have that strength to shine out that message in me despite the rocks that get thrown in my direction. i feel that i am reaching out to a different level of people now, and i am actually making a connection.
thank u for letting me hear u so i know i'm not alone in my puzzlings and my shinings

i feel more interconnected now, and that is priceless.

i want to make it clear that i know that livejournal is NOT a public place and is owned by brad. he does not owe me "freedom of speech" at all. if he had wanted me to take down the pictures, indeed i would have, and probably then also left livejournal.
but i would never say that it had not been fair for him to do as he wants. it's his server, he owns it. end of story.

however, i still voiced my opinion as i thought this was a very good issue to bring up, and it was. i think we should continue talking about it. there is A LOT of fear around this issue, and i STILL don't understand why. all i know is that a lot of people freak out.
i will continue to investigate all i can.

if my picture had been anything abusive or defaming or harrassing to anyone or been harmful in anyway to anyone, i would have totally understood that it should be taken down. however, it's not harmful and wasn't abusive to anyone in particular, nor to anyone at all, and wasn't breaking any copywrite violations.

yes, i myself, have called the abuse team to take things down. 2 of them were copywrite violations, they were using my pictures without my permission, and one was a very threatening one making posts about killing and stalking.

i do not go over to the livejournals that just put me down in every which way they can and tell them to take it down. i've never done that. however, if they use a picture of mine without my consent, that is wrong.

and my journal is NOT a public forum. 1st of all, it's brad's ultimately.
then i rent this part of his site to have my journal, so this journal secondly is mine

sure, i have the reply option on, but if i don't like your reply for whatever reason i may have, i will delete it if i want. this is not censorship as u have EVERY right to go make a livejournal of your own and go bitch about me to your heart's content.

this is my apartment, and i'll kick out rude and icky people as i see fit.
this journal, and it's reply section are NOT about freedom of speech, and of course i will delete comments of of insults, etc. because they really don't have much to do with anything i am interested in.

yes, this journal is a documentation....but it is not a free for all. when i look back on this when i am older, i don't want to click through all the " u are such a whore" comments.
i really don't need that in my life. i don't need those comments written on my apartment walls. go write them on your own apartment walls, u have every right ro do that....i won't silence u there. got it?

yes, this journal and this forum are biased. yes it will lean towards the stuff that i want to get across ultimately and it's not about what u want to say here ultimately...unless i let your post stay because i think it is valid as some sort of historical documention of the signs of these times. it IS all about how i think and feel here. i'ts my journal! duh!

go ahead and make your own journal about how i am so very wrong about everything. see? it's all getting documented. i can't stop YOU from documenting how YOU would like it to be either. so all is fair. no need to cry "censorship!" u aren't censored, u simply cannot stay in my apartment while u are thowing up on my furniture. i don't know why that idea is so hard to grasp. why can't we think of these places ( forums ) as houses that ultimately, the owner of the house will kick u out if s/he doesn't like u pissing on the plant?

i'm sure if someone is rude in your house, someone u don't even KNOW, you would show them the door and erase their graffiti. it's MY choice in here. i can say or do anything i want in MY apartment as long as it is not harmful to others. (unless brad decides to boot me out)
THIS is freedom of speech. i'll do what i do in my house. u do what u do in your house.
see? no big deal. go get a free website at geocities or freespeech and yell all u want. i'm NOT going to stop u....and THAT is the beauty of it.

we all have room here to say whatever it is we wanna say. i just don't HAVE to put up with u if i'm sick of u. and i don't even really have to have a logical reason for it and i don't owe u an explanation if u are banned from here.

i didn't force u over here, i didn't make u read my journal nor look at my pictures nor click on my links. YOU chose to wander into my yard and either wave and have a nice conversation or just start throwing rocks at my windows. i really don't CARE what your point is if u are throwing rocks. i'm just going to ban u. period.
and i think that is perfectly reasonable. and i don't even have to justify WHY i think that's reasonable. just vamoose! get your own journal or website! see?

this is NOT a place where freedom of speech rules all. this is MY apartment.
and brad can kick me out any time he chooses for whatever reason he wants, because he OWNS livejournal, not me.

but i STILL can complain to the landlord if i think something is not fair.and i did. and i got the results i wanted and i am VERY happy for that.
but brad could kick me out two minutes from now, for no reason at all, because he is the landlord.

i guess then one could SUE the landlord and maybe win and maybe not...i have no idea. but that is something i wouldn't do simply for the fact that it would take too much time and i have my own website i can type on....

it seems a lot of people are very bitter about that they have been censored on livejournal but i have not. they say they were not heard because they did not have as much "status" or whatever as i do.

well, first of all, that really interests me a lot. i would love to talk about anything that is being censored in livejournal that u don't think is fair.

who were all the people that got censored and

SECONDLY, WHY did they get censored..

what was the EXACT thing that they put up?

each case is very different from the next. i cannot give u an opinion on whether or not it was fair that u got censired if i have no idea WHAT was censored and what your intent was, etc.

so feel free to post here things that u think are unfair and didn't get heard and be exact about it. i am all for bringing this topic up, and i am glad that i brought this subject up in a big way. even if u do not agree with me on what i do, i hope that u will agree that it was good that a lot of things that were hidden are now coming to light if we keep on going with this.

i will now get ready to spray paint my couch white. i found some spray paint that is vinyl and meany for vinyl furniture, so i am excited to see what this couch will look like white, i think it will make the livingroom look more spacious becasue the couch will blend into the wall.

and now continues " all nude all month" in celabration of spring :)
i will add a few more days to it since my cam was down for so long as i was helping jason move and everything was being moved every which way and cords were flying and dogs were puzzled.

some people still don't understand why jason moved out.
the answer is this:
i want more cams
he wants less cams
he hates dog hair
i don't mind it THAT much
our living room was both of our workstations, plus the place where we relax or excercise or meditate or do anything at all.
o it was driving us a bit crazy when jason would want to play KISS and i would want to play tori. or he wanted quiet and i was in the middle of cleaning or making pictures.
plus our schedules are totally off. he is a morning person, i am a night person.

anyway, we only live a hop skip and a jump from each other now so it's very cool :)
and now i can decorate my house how i want and he can do the same. we are both very excited :) and jason is super happy to have a place of his own that is cam free :)

ok, more later, must get food or something :)
--------------------

the history of the word "vulgar"
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=2865977
18 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2001|04:12pm]
i'm running around with my boots on, dancing in the sun to madonna " i'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me"
:)
ate some delicious curry soup from yesterday.

i'm trying to move the couch into the bedroom, that's what i've been doing for the last few hours. it's a crazy mess. i dunno what will happen. maybe i will just have a couch permanently stuck in my hallway.
i broke my best tripod

i took a shower and put beeswax in my hair to see what that was like. i put on my new red lipstick. i'd show u if i could get to the cam, but the couch is stuck in the hallway

now it's radiohead playing, "nice dream....nice dream...nice dream..."
6 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2001|06:43pm]
after many hours of pushing i managed to get the couch in the bedroom :) now it will be a cozy tv space :)
my camera kept flipping off as it kept getting knocked over.
now i'm quite out of energy and it's time for me to relax a bit.
revamping this partment is gonna take a long time, but it's gonna be SO COOL!
7 comments|post comment

what kind of medications am i on? and yes, i do ALSO see my doctor regularily, etc etc bla bla bla [10 Apr 2001|07:50pm]
since everyone keeps wondering and wondering and wondering no matter HOW many times i explain this, here it goes again:

FIRST of all , all of these are prescribed my my REAL medical doctor/psychiatrist. i doctor i have been seeing for more than 14 years. am NOT self medicating.

ok, the xanax thing:

everyone thinks i take handfuls of xanax literally or something because i've joked about it a lot and it's really spun out and started a life all it's own.

right now i am taking ONE .25 mg of xanax per day
a few months ago i was taking three tablets .25 mgs a day...so as u can see that i a REALLY small amount, not even one milligram, and now i am taking only 1/4 of a milligram.
xanax is an antianxiety medication. when i first went on it ( when i was almost raped at the age of 21 ) no one knew it was addictive. now they know it is. but still i have never taken more than 1 mg per day in my whole life and there have been YEARS i have been off of it, since i am going to be 35 in 8 days.
i have not taken xanax for constantly for the past 14 years. i've probably taken a very low dose of xanax for maybe about 5 years of my life. and i am almost off xanax again as i'm only takeing 1/4 a milligram per day, and somedays not any.

amitriptyline:
i take 30 mgs of this a day. i have been on it for about 2 years. it is an antidepressant but it also is used for pain as it dulls nerve endings when in pain.
i take it because i get three day long massive dehabilitating migraine headaches during my period if i do not. i tried EVERYTHING before this. name whatever pill u got for headaches, i took it, ad all the homeopathic things and herbal remedies, and pressure points, and accupuncture and bla bla bla. this is the only medication that works. and i thank ALLAH for it.

prozac:
i just started on prozac last summer because i was afraid to leave the house and was having difficulty making decisions which wer the effects of a bunch of tramuatic events that happened then, too much to go into detail with. go look through the analogs if u wanna.
i take 60 mgs a day, which is a pretty high dose, but it's done me a world of good and i now can function again and go outside and get stuff done.
contrary to popular belief that i never go out: i DO.
y'know the times u DONT see me on cam? figure it out.

neurontin:

this is something i also started taking last summer. i'd never been on it before or even heard of it. it is a drug that is used for epilepsy but is also used for anxiety. i am taking it so i can ween myself off of xanax, and this is working very well as i am almost off xanax now. maybe neirontin is addictive too? i don't know. i don't think so. it doesn't feel that way.
i can only take one step at a time...
i take 1200 mgs of that a day, which sounds like A LOT, but actually it is not, according to my doctor.

trazodone:
50 mg a day, sometimes
i started taking this the same time as the neurontin and the prozac. it is an antipsychotic medication or maybe it is used for bipolar..i forgot...but i take it for none of the reasons, i take on night that i cannot get to sleep, as prozac has a tendency to not let me sleep very well.

i was taking seroquel for a SHORT time to go to sleep, but now i take trazodone 'cause this works better for me. i took sinequan/doxepin for awhile to go to sleep too. i never took all three of these at the same time. sometimes u just have to try a few until u find the right one.

----------------------------
and that's it!

i am not psychotic, nor bipolar ( manic depressive )...even tho it can seem that way from my livejournal :) the livejournal is only one small text based piece of me, u are definitely not seeing the whole picture of me from only livejournal.
the things i suufer ftom are anxiety and depression ( at the moment ) , altho i have anxiety all my life and was even taken to the mayo clinic for it when i was child to try to figure out why i was fainting all the time ( panic attacks...altho they didn't know what those were then ) so i'm pretty sure this is a chemical imbalance i have on the anxiety thing. it's not my fault i was born a chihuahua not an irish setter.

loking down and yelling at me or saying that i'm weak for taking them is like going up to a diabetic and telling them that THEY are weak and stupid for taking their meds.

the BRAIN is ALSO part of the BODY...it is not some ethereal untangible thing that nothing can happen to for "REAL" ( as opposed to "just in our minds" ).
it's an organ just like the liver.
know this. remember this.

-----------
and for the record i have NEVER done cocaine nor crack, nor heroin. in fact, as weird as this is since i was in the music industry...i have never even SEEN these drugs.
seriously. gross. i'm deathly afraid of needles, i HATE smoking things ( i can hardly even bear to smoke pot ) and snorting something up my nose is so very distasteful and gross to me. yuck. plus from all i've heard of it it sounds like u just end up being all wired up with diarreah in the bathroom.

so...that's that.
so u can't really blame my behaviour and who i am and why i do what i do on drugs, nor psychosis, nor manic depression.

yes, i really AM this weird for REAL :)

spring cleaning [11 Apr 2001|11:21am]
it might seem that i am in a bad mood since i am shining light on things that are ooky.
but i am actually very energetic today and very happy :)
and it's even raining and i STILL feel this way :)

i am blasting yummy music and i can't WAIT for the window cleaners to get here!

it's strange and cool sleeping at jason's. it feels kinda like a hotel so far, since all of his stuff is still in boxes. it makes for a curious energetic feeling both at his apt and mine since everything is so askew and we both have so much more room.

and because he doesn't have dsl yet he doesn't get sucked into being on the computer as much, and because he has no cable ( and my tv is in the bedroom on the floor..not in the living room ) we are both talking more and we are excited about all of our plans :)

so far this is really cool and has both of us feeling more free and open

after i get the last of jason's stuff outta here and vacuum it all, i am gonna get the carpet cleaners in here, too. i want everything superrrrrrrrrrrrrr cleannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn :)
yes :))))))))))))))))))

i think be bringing into the forefront "dodgy" subjects is also my form of spring cleaning. i'm purging it all and getting over it now.
i'm in fulll swing CLEANING mode on all levels!

go go go!
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[11 Apr 2001|02:38pm]
shoot, the window cleaners aren't coming today...they will come tomorrow. i hate waiting around all day for stuff like this! i mean, fuck, i put this entire day aside and waited by the phone and the dooor and moved everything away from the windows. jeez, i hate it when people say they are gonna come over. so now tomorrow is another waiting day.

i'm baking a frozen pizza
then i'm gonna clean more
then i'm gonna paint myself pink
them i'm gonna clean more
1 comment|post comment

[11 Apr 2001|04:31pm]
i am putting all of jason's stuff that is left over here, in the hallway, so it can all be in one place and easier to move.

zip zip zip....

i have a big bruise on my knee from pushing the couch yesterday
3 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2001|04:57pm]
my friend stacy in nyc needs:
studio/1 bedrm up to 1,000 rent
and accepts cats. email: stacy@atomcam.com
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dippity [11 Apr 2001|05:14pm]
.
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zipppity zappity [11 Apr 2001|05:14pm]
.
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crunch! [11 Apr 2001|05:15pm]
.
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swish slosh [11 Apr 2001|05:16pm]
.
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bip bip bip pong [11 Apr 2001|05:16pm]
.
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slomp romp gromp [11 Apr 2001|05:17pm]
.
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shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [11 Apr 2001|05:18pm]
.
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ok ok ok [11 Apr 2001|05:21pm]
new day
all good
fluffy dogs
blueberry pie
tare panda
baby bee buttermilk lotion
one red stripey hoola hoop
a candy necklace
rain and white xmas lights still up
big ol jug of 409
new chews for the doglets
spritzy water things <---wanting
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ooo [11 Apr 2001|05:23pm]
.
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[11 Apr 2001|05:41pm]
i love zha zha gabor
jason wear joop
sebastian is in the corner sleeping
he's a wooket
deiter's on the chair sleeping
pooka's in the hallway sleeping
i'm super thirsty
it's still raining
i'm tired of cleaning but there is so much more...
i'm hooking up thingcam and bathroom cam again
maw gave me pink cords :)
i have hundred's of grace's slides for when she travelled all over the world
gonna show them on cam when i get the slideprojector up
i hope it still works.
i collect rocks
my fern is coming back to life
it's still raining
hi
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[11 Apr 2001|06:30pm]
painting the couch..aaaaaa
the fumes the fumes!!!!!
*COUGH COUGH GASP*

jason came home from work and got a few cartfuls of his stuff.
now i can work on getting his stuff out of the kitchen
and then alll that's that done is the actual cleaning of the carpet, walls, bathroom, etc

dance werk dans werk dance!

kate bush singing :)

thunder lightning rain!

i wish it would STORM, but i guess that would be more appropriate when i'm all done with everything and i can lay on the floor and watch the display :)
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[11 Apr 2001|11:02pm]
i want to sleep at jason's but i'm gonna sleep here 'cause the window cleaner peple PROMISED they'd be here tomorrow...sometime between 8 and 4:30
so....
i just wanna be here in case it's gonna be 8
so i'm gonna make a haphazard bed on the livingroom floor
that'll make the doglets happy :)

#anacam irc.galaxynet.org [12 Apr 2001|11:49am]
i'm in there
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help stacy find an apt. in nyc :) [12 Apr 2001|04:07pm]
here is what she says:

listen, my children, and you shall hear...

the terribly sad story of stacy's apartment hunt.

i am looking for an apartment in nyc. i work in chelsea so if i was below
30th st. or no more than 3 stops into brooklyn, i'd be a happy girl. i can
spend up to $1100/month. i have to take adorable sweet beautiful
never-shredded-anything tiki kitty with me.

i really really really need a place and i'm getting desperate. i'll consider
studios, 1 BRs...i would rather not have a roommate due to atomcam; a large
part of the reason i'm moving out of my current place is that glenn really
hates the cams.

if the place were already wired for DSL, so much the better.

if your tip leads to housing and i don't have to pay massive broker fees,
i'll pay YOU $200 cash.

sublets will be considered...anything, anything, anything!!!!!

real content soon, i promise. help me make atomcam better and better and
better. help me find a HOME for this crazy undertaking!!!!

xoxoxoxoinfinity,
stacy

stacy@atomcam.com
11 comments|post comment

[12 Apr 2001|06:10pm]
it looks like nothing happened today, but a lot did!

jason got pretty much of his stuff out of here last night.

ok, i gotta move LOTS of things and i have to vacuum and vacuum and vacuum!

it's gorgeous out, i'm gonna go outside after i'm done dancing around my spacious livingroom with the clean carpet and the sunlight blasting through :)

i was trying to get the windows open farther and i was nude when i did it and some guys saw me and i just waved at them. hehe :)

i can't move any furniture back until after monday, when the walls get repainted
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[14 Apr 2001|03:53pm]
happy birthday kaela :)
smoooooooooooooooooooooch!!!
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[14 Apr 2001|04:18pm]
oooo, my flourescent body paint and BUBBLES arrived :)
gonna do something on cam with that soon :)

it keeps hurting worse by the hour and it happened around 3pm. i know i didn't break a bone or anything. i've taken some aspirin and i hope it will be better when i wake up. and i gotta be awake very early as the painter is coming tomorrow at 8pm to repaint my walls. i'm so excited 'cause that is the last thing that needs to be done before i can move all my stuff back into place...or actually more like a different place since jason's stuff is gone i am rethinking where everything will go

the wind is howling through my windows again tonight

sorry my cam got stuck on the picture of the sun this afternoon, as beautiful as that picture was :)
i had livegrab going on it so i could make a cool animation of it...and livegrab has a tendency to use up all my computer's memory , therefore freezing my computer and i was up at jason' watching king of the hill and the sopranos and then this special documentary on hbo about faithhealers

i wish my hand didn't hurt so much so i could type out my thoughts on that.
what are your opinions, beliefs or experiences regarding faithhealers?

i wish i had one right here for my hand!
24 comments

[17 Apr 2001|04:23pm]
gonna go look at the flood now!
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sushi anyone? it my birthday :) [17 Apr 2001|10:31pm]
[ mood | happy ]

ok, it's hard for me to not sleep at jason's 'cause #1 , i am in love with him and he is so yummy and #2 he has the bed and i don't

so...i will again for the trillionth time get my laptop fixed...i got some distilled water today so i can take it apart and wash it and hopefully that will fix it. then i will have sleepcam up there. and when i get a bed at my place we'll take turns sleeping at each others places.

i also apologize for not exactly being all nude all month and also not being on cam much :/ i really didn't foresee all the work that was ahead of me due to jason's moving. i thought it would be a really fast easy thing, but it's not. and then waiting for all the people to fix my apartment...which is ALMOST done...it hard for me to be in my house nude when i don't know who is coming over ta any minute to fix stuff.

so yes, i have failed quite miserable at all nude all month, but there is STILL 2 weeks left of the month and i have so many ideas once i get a speck of peace and a minute to not be waiting for some guy to come over and fix my windows and whatever.

augh. i am sorry. i just did not foresee this. this is the first time i've gone through anything like this...but like i said...there is still more two weeks...only one week was lost!
aaa!

so tomorrow is my 35th birthday!
weird!
jason won't be home until the night tho 'cause of work so we will celebrate it more on thursday instead. he is gonna get me driving instructions for my birthday and he is also, at my request, going to make me pancakes in the nude :)

*meow* :)

so who wants to go to sushi tomorrow afternoon at origami in minneapolis for my birthday? :))) say around 4pm?

more later :)

oh and also, since it was too difficult to last minute throw together a sushi party, but i still wanna do one...we'll have to do it on another day so people have more time to plan :)

today is the first day that i don't have to wait for ANYone to come over and fix or paint anything. yessssssss!
so that means i can do my thing and i'm gonna hook up more computers now that were off because of this whole transition.

and i'm also gonna clean a lot 'cause tomorrow my mom is coming to give me some stuff from my aunt that is for me. she's coming at 9:30am and of course i am nervous as hell.
my mom is trying EXTRA hard to be nice to me, i can tell lately. we keep our conversations superficial.

i'm very excited to be the person who gets to be the keeper of the japanese screens from the 20's ( i think..or maybe even earlier? )
they are really falling aprt because they are made of such deleicate paper..all hand painted with scenes of life in that time in japan. i can't wait to take pictures. i just ADORE japanese things and these are very unique :)

my aunt wants them to go to to this museum...but i think they might be in too bad of shape for the museum to want them...so i hope to god i actuyally get to keep these screens forever. they are sooooooo wonderful!
i would purr and purr!

i'm also gonna get some trunks and chests to put my stuff in ( thank god! )
and a few lamps, since i only own one lamp. they have clear blue bases, which matches all my cobalt blue glass i have :) the lampshades on them are totally shot so i'll have to make or get new ones.

and i'm also gonna get some dishes simce i don't have any. when i moved in with jason i got rid of all my dishes and used jason's.

and now that i am so spoiled to have been sleeping in an actual bed (jason's) the last few years instead of a couch...now i am thinking of getting a bed. but i just hate them cause they take up so much frickin room, but....i must get one. and then i think i will get a fram efor it too, so that i can utilize the space under it, so i can get more use out of my space.

i think i'll put the bed in the living room. so the livingroom will become my bedroom and the bedroom is now the livingroom.

ok, time to start getting my house in order, as much as i can until some stuff arrives tomorrow. first thing...hook up the computers!
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmm ohmigod :) [19 Apr 2001|03:59pm]
i want this in king size...oh MY...my oh my oh my.......
drooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllll la la la

http://www.ironfences.com/images/bedcast.jpg

22 comments|post comment

which one? [19 Apr 2001|09:27pm]
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=3164268

what i like to do because it makes me happy :) [20 Apr 2001|09:26pm]
make soup of things
dry the soup out
make it into powder
mix with blood and tears and left over coca cola
paint on walls
cut the wall apart
make it into a box
go into into this box and say all your secrets into it
burn everything u own and put it into this box
turn it into a table
eat soup on it
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[20 Apr 2001|09:34pm]
i let free everything in my house
it spans over 100 years of history
think about it
that little dress, that army patch, that old abandoned scrap...

"to my sweetheart
from harry
india 1948
united stated air force"

the things tell stories
they sing into my air and i decipher it by dancing
in its precious dust
there is too much joy in it for me to bear

i write music to write in dust to for the end of time
someday i will be dust on someone's coffeetable
don't forget to write your name in me :)

we used to chat on icq almost hourly...but now it's more like weekly. but we still are always entertwined in each others lives nad always will.

she is such an adventurer and so am i. we are both insatiably curious as to what makes people tick. SO, i just wanted to mention her because i want to help her out get some new people to visit her site and she is doing the same thing :)

AND:

for a limited time, members of ana2 can apply their full membership fee as a discount to isabellacam! all ana2 members receive $10 off the normal monthly charge for isa's site! details are posted in "under the bed", the ana2 members forum

go to www.ana2.com to get this two in one deal!

this is not just another stupid empty advertisement. we truly do love each other and believe in each other and we like to do things like this for each other to help each other out.

---------------------------------------------------------

posts from anarchy and under the bed:

Posted by ANA on April 03, 2001 at 03:49:50:

In Reply to: ana's bathroom on cam4; those are jars of hair dye, right? posted by smeg on April 01, 2001 at 14:59:47:
yep :) manic panic

i got one thing of special effect pink..but i ( obviously ) haven't tried it yet :)

In Reply to: Lurker posted by Obsidian on April 02, 2001 at 05:18:10:
hello! :)
obsidian is my favourite kind of stone :)

something cool posted by flower:

Posted by flower on April 02, 2001 at 11:24:35:

TEKNO BUBBLES® are PATENTED, safe non-toxic blowing bubbles that look and act like normal bubbles under regular lighting, yet unlike any other bubbles in the world, TEKNO BUBBLES® have a beautiful BRILLIANT GLOW under UV (BLACK LIGHT) lighted conditions!
Now available in 2 HOT COLORS:
TEKNO GOLD & TEKNO BLUE
http://www.teknobubbles.com/main.html

blacklight reactive flourescent body paint (they have the bubbles too)
http://www.blacklightvolleyball.com/glowproducts/

!~Peace :))
flower

Posted by ANA on April 03, 2001 at 03:46:25:

In Reply to: Nudity ain't easy posted by jake_lex on April 03, 2001 at 00:36:15:
it IS hard! i'm already going nutty. just too much sensation all over...the air...the couch...
i wonder what i'll go through doing this a whole month!

i do recommend people to try this, it's very interesting indeed!

cheers to u!

In Reply to: Late, Late, Night, Musique....Sterephonics & Jonatha Brooke posted by moricand on April 07, 2001 at 04:29:18:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmerlot :)
go to www.feltmountain.com

and listen and watch the goldfrapp video ( 4 minute version if u can download it )

utopia!

In Reply to: Jason's Move posted by HowieF on April 09, 2001 at 11:53:23:
he got movers, but there is still a bit more to move, and lots to clean up
but we've got a handle on it :)

In Reply to: hello again from this lil world posted by shakti on April 09, 2001 at 21:37:52:
hi shakti! i check on your cam everyday :)
i miss the 2nd cam , are u ever going to put that one back up, or do u liie to just concentrate at one of a time.

that's what i still think of doing. having 4 is really hard to keep up with!

In Reply to: Bulk Email pitfalls? posted by Geoff in NY on April 11, 2001 at 09:14:09:
i did get that postcard! thank u :))))
i love it that u always stay in touch with me :)
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

i have mailing list on majordomo...what that involves, i don't know....maybe jason will find the time 2 answer that.
i also have a mailing list through yahoo
and theres always onelist.com too

:)

"Ana,
I saw your website today for the first time today. I love intelligent and
artistic women and from your website I see both. I very much would enjoy
sleeping with you, and making it an enjoyable experience for both of us,
whether it be cuddling or more.

The only thing I ask is that I sleep on the right side. I travel often and
always sleep on the bed to the right if there are two beds in the room and
always wake up on the right side of the bed. I have a belief that when you
sleep in the same bed every night your body becomes polarized by the
magnetic field of the earth. If you sleep with your head to the north you
will become permanently polarized in that direction. If you sleep with a
different orientation you have trouble sleeping because your polarization is
out of phase. Because I travel often this causes problems.

I was unable to determine what city you live in? I live near Boston. I
travel the eastern US and the company I work for is in California and
Denmark. If we can get together can I bring a bottle of wine or something?"

In Reply to: courtney joined by shirley posted by poindex on April 19, 2001 at 13:22:48:
oh man, i hope she wins, that evil pathetic bastard.

from celtic king:

Posted by Celtic King - jim-pc.thursby.com (208.7.44.203) on April 18, 2001 at 15:07:14:

One fine day as I meandered the web,
not really searching, just going with the flow and the ebb,
I saw something that made me laugh till I ached.
It was a bosom-stuffed T-shirt that read "Yes, they're fake"

I began to explore this wonderous new land
owned by a Faerie Queen with beautiful eyes and an artistic hand.
The images I saw went from chaotic to serene
and the sounds I heard would make Sirens turn green.

And today, as I heard, this Faerie celebrates her day,
Though I cannot see any differences, be there as they may.
So I offer a blessing, and raise up a pint,
"Here's to your day, and may you get some tonight!"

In Reply to: A poem (not a good one) for Ana's Birthday posted by Celtic King on April 18, 2001 at 15:07:14:

i'm keepin' that :)

In Reply to: election time! posted by farbel on April 18, 2001 at 19:21:24:

i'll be ambassador of estonia :)