august 4th , 2008

IMAGES

5:59pm

i had my 1st appontment today and it went so well.
i really love my midwife and her assistant.
so warm, friendly, kind, thorough, comforting
she made me nettle tea (good to keep your iron up)
and she nursed her 1 year old boy (so much more advanced than lili, freaky!)
while she and her assistant asked me questions about my past medical history and all that.
and asked me about my last birth and what i would change about that (if anything)
and what i wished for this birth.
if i had any fears or concerns
we talked about nutrition
and gave told me about nettle tea and raspberry leaf
and other good things to know
and they checked my blood to see how my iron was (it was good)
and then they checked my uterus and it's about 3 inches below my belly button
and they listened to buh #2 with the fetal stethascope (and she DID hear the heartbeat ever so briefly!)
and i heard the placenta go "whoosh whoosh whoosh" which was exciting :)
the appointment lasted for 2 1/2 hours and was very complete and relaxed (in her living room)
i'll see her again in a month!

i'm in my 2nd trimester now


august 1st , 2008

2:31pm

it's hot outside so in a fit of illogicalness
i have decided to create my 1st ever hotdish
i can't believe i live in minnesota and this is the 1st time i have actual cooked one myself.
and i have no idea what i am doing.

in a big pot i layered:

cream of mushroom soup
chicken broth
rice
hamburger
onions
spinach
corn
cheese
tator tots

then i'm sticking it in the oven for a long time in 350 degrees.
no martha stewart am i.

i probably won't even eat it because i am so queasy.
so...yes, things are making a lot of sense today.
and that is that.

12:17pm

i know it's pretty early to feel the baby...but i could SWEAR i just felt the baby flutter inside of me!
2 weeks ago i felt it, too, but this time was much more strong :)

i am 99% sure that i felt the baby because this time around i know what it feels like!

i have my 1st midwife appointment on monday
and i sure hope i will get to hear the heartbeat :)

+++

woa, i felt it again and this time i looked down and i saw my belly actually move with it!
wtf?
can that really happen so early? (i'm 12 weeks on monday)
apparently it can because i just saw it and felt it!
it looked like how you can see your belly move with your heartbeat...but it wasn't my pulse because it moved super fast right along with the beats of the flutterings i was feeling.

amazing!!!

 

+++

http://www.patriciaebauer.com/2008/08/01/never-go-full-retard/

http://www.patriciaebauer.com/2008/08/01/once-upon-a-time/

http://www.simplejackmovie.com/

(a spoof movie site featuring ben stiller)

i've, oddly, been on the fence about the use of the retard word.
i admit, i've used the word (i.e. "that dress is retarded") pretty much my entire life and never gave it much thought
and i've found it's a hard habit to break simply because i cannot find a word that can take its place exactly.

the meaning of the word, to ME, when i use it does not mean "stupid" or "ridiculous"...i struggle to find the words to convey the exact meaning when i use it.

retard actually just means "slow".
and there is nothing wrong with being slow. in fact, i think this whole world would benefit immensely if it just slowed down.

but we all know that when the majority of the world uses the word "retard" they do not mean it in a positive light.

now that i have a child with down syndrome, i am more of the mind to just own the word and turn it around on itself than to banish it entirely from my vocabulary.
in the way the riot grrls did to bitch and whore, etc.

i want to make a t shirt that says "retard" on it and just wear it around.
but i don't think anyone would get it.
it really would take a retarded person to wear it with pride to have any impact.
and even then....who knows.
it might just confuse things or make things worse because people are generally, well, retarded.

anyway...
today on patriciabauer.com (a disability news site) i read the above links about the new ben stiller movie "tropic thunder"
and it's movie within a movie "simple jack" (which has its own website...link above)

and....
it doesn't sit well with me at all.
and so i am forced to confront this word once again.
and reevaluate where i stand with it.

it's one thing for the mentally disabled to OWN that word, as with "the retarded policeman"

http://mediocrefilms.com/retarded.html

and we can laugh WITH them, making fun of the stereotype.

but this tropic thunder movie seems to be laughing AT them, at the expense of them.

it's not exactly making fun of the stereotype in hopes to show how ridiculous that stereotype is,
it's, i think, perpetuating the stereotype.

when i see things like what is in tropic thunder....
does this BENEFIT lili or does this put her more in harm's way?

i think it puts her more in harm's way because it, once again, makes her less than human in the eyes of the majority.

and for this, i am deeply deeply deeply disappointed in ben stiller, jack black, and robert downey jr (who i am great fans of their work before this)
and all the people who had a hand in creating this movie and getting it out there into the public.

i am deeply disappointed that they did not put any thought into this.

and i wonder how they would all feel about their work if they had a child with down syndrome.

how would they feel if their son or daughter was "full retard" (a line from the movie)
how would they feel if when their son or daughter went to school they were met with taunts of "simple jack!"

i'd really like to know.

i hope this will be a wake up call for a lot of people.

it is for me.

---------------------------------------------------

every single anagram for this year (except this one now) has the wrong date at the top of it!
they all say 2007!

fargin blarg! it's 2008!!!!

now i have to go back and correct them all :/