april 10th , 2007
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good news and bad news

the good news:

i got my period!
the 1st one in 1 1/2 years!
i hope this means i am fertile again :)

and i'm planning the wedding more

the bad news:

my dad has cancer AGAIN.
this is INSANE.
it's some rare form of groin cancer.
i don't even understand.
i'm more scared for him this time.

my dad got cancer then my mom got cancer a few weeks later.
my dad just got better and my mom has just gotten her IV out of her arm
now...this.

WTF UNIVERSE????????????

+++

lili is at my mom's for the 1st time since last year because my mom is well enough to babysit her.
and M is doing an overnight at his work (he is the person in charge of this cool guy named aaron who has bardet biedl syndrome)

so this is my 1st time alone, and sleeping alone since....i don't even know when.

today i was so excited to have a day off i wanted to go outside for a walk and take photos like i used to...but then it rained...then sleeted...then snowed, and then it lightninged and then it thundered!

so i called up various hotel catering things for the wedding trying to figure that out and then i went out to dinner with jason.

now i took some tylenol pm and i'm going to sleep until M is home in the morning.

it's weird not having to wake up to make milk.

but i miss making milk for The Buh, especially when she is not here, because that was a way i still felt this physical connection with her even when she was gone.
and when she would arrive back home from grandma's i'd have all these many many little bottles of milk for her all lined up in the fridge.

oh i miss my little butter cream
my tiny chubby daffodil
coconut cream pie moonbean face
rosebud lipped squiggle puff

soon soon i hope to make a Buh #2 for her by the light of the moon and stars