february 3, 2007

IMAGES

i've caught the blasted cold :(

lili's swing stopped working. augh. wtf?
i wish i knew how to fix it. it costed $120.
lasted 5 months.

i NEED it to work!

i make less money every day and i'm scared.
i make just enough to pay the rent and nothing else.
not electric or food or phone or anything.

i don't know what we will do.
whether or not we will be able to stay in this place.
but it costs $1,850 to break the lease and i don't have that either :/

wah.

the school system here, which is in charge of early intervention for lili, has a big long list of children waiting so they said it will be about a month before anyone even calls ot make an appointment to come over and see lili and evaluate her.

this is going to take a long time.

and it isn't until i get her evaluated that i can start working with a social worker and try and get her social security and all that stuff.

so...

until all of this gets done...and it's a waiting game.
i am pretty much up shit creek money-wise.

and i'm not sure what i can do.

i try to find time in the day to work...as in keep this website going at it's minimal level...
and i have tried with all my might to crochet a hat but i never can finish one.

and i still need to find time to do my taxes and i can't even START doing it because i have NO TIME.

and if i do have time i am dead tired and need to sleep or eat or clean.

i don't know what i'm going to do.

i'm just skating on thin ice and "by the grace of god go i"

aside from money, i am compltely happy and satisfied.
it's just this money thing that is stressing me out to no end.

but what can i do?

there is nothing i can do because i have to take care of lili and that is my job.
i hvae no time for anything else whatsoever.

i just need to get my taxes done so i can prove how little money i make so i can get help somehow.

but WHEN and HOW do i find the time to do it???

i'm freaked out about this.

and i can't bring lili to my mom's to have her watch lili so i can get my taxes done because my mom cannot even move or lift anything since her surgery.

i don't know what the fuck to do.

i'm so tired and this cold is whipping my ass.

i will try, even tho i am sick, to just drink a crapload of coffee today and do my taxes and have M watch lili since it's his day off.

and maybe i can get some sort of assistance even before i do my taxes because also i do not have any money to pay my accountant to DO my taxes.

how fucked up is that?

i hate being this poor.

i have been this poor since i was in my 20's.