december 27, 2007

IMAGES

2:06pm

it truly is a mystery as to where this huge box of gloves, multicoloured wigs, sequined hats, and red and purple feather boas went.
it's a big box. it's flamboyant as you can get.
how could it just disappear?

another weird thing is the new keys to this place do not open the doors here.
they open my old apartement.
and i would assume that the keys i turned in to my old apartment then are the ones that work for the new one.

obviously the rational reason for this would be that i goofed up the keys and just do not remember what the old ones looked like and what the new ones look like.
but having lived in my old apartment for 5 years...i KNOW for a FACT that the old keys say "130" on them. NOT "14" as they say now.
i would REMEMBER if for the past 5 years my kets said "14 on them.
but they did NOT. thye said "130" so the 130 ones are the ones i turned in!
but no...i have switched universes where huge boxes of feather boas disappear along with large broiler pans. and numbers on keys are not even the same numbers.

i don't know what it all means btu it has to mean something because it's all so weird.

i don't like it.
ever since i moved into this new place everything has felt really off kilter and a bit wrong.
i've been in a bad mood and stressed out.

i need to raise my enrgy level to a new vibration because the one i am at right now is a struggling one that sucks your energy right out of your core.

every day i work on getting rid of things. and i clean, dust, organize, try to find a place for things.
all the while take care of the buh, make food...stuff of normal everyday living.

something has to change in this apartement.
but the only thing i can change is myself.
so i ahve to fogure out what i need to change in myself to make this work for me.
because this is not working.

this new apartment makes me unhappy.
sure, it's bigger. it has a nice layout. i have a bigger kicthen. it's nice to have things clean.
but it just seems totally wrong.
the feng shui is off in here.
the view sucks. the windows suck, even tho the light is nice.

the weather has been SO grey, too.

things feel stagnant even tho everythig is moving and i need stability.

what is up with everything?
why can't i seem to get things back on track?

i need to stop struggling and let things be.

but i just want to keep going until things feel right.

i feel like moving right on out of this place into somewhere else.

i can't see myself staying here.

i don't even know if i can afford it.

and i miss cable tv something fierce.

i wonder how deiter is doing. i wonder how sebastian is doing.
i know pooka is doing well.