| june
19, 2007 |
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i love the way M holds me so completely.
i feel so safe :)
he soothes my soul. he is inside me in a way no one else has ever been or
ever will be.
i'm 34 weeks pregnant now. in 3 weeks
i will be considered "full term".
it's hard to comprehend. i still cannot fathom holding a baby girl in my arms
that is truly mine and has come from my body.
i cannot comprehend i will go into labour and that one of these days soon
will be "it" and i will say to M "today is the day you will
be meet your daughter!"
my body aches down to the bone. my limbs creak and i can feel them loosening.
i wobble and waddle from the bed to the toilet to pee and back again.
no position is comfortable.
i feel her thumping against my spine, my pelvis, my internal organs. right
now.
hiccuping fluid in practive for breathing air. what will her voice sound like?
will she sing in tune?
heels and knees and other limblike parts push against my skin making waves
across my belly causing me to exclaim "oof! and argh!" almost minutely
it seems. sometimes i almost scream. sometimes cry.
i am startled and in awe. i am taken over and in a state of surrender.
i can't bend over at all. i can't see my vagina anymore unless i look at it
in a mirror.
i've gained 16 pounds, most of it baby, placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood
and water, and a much bigger uterus.
bigger than i ever thought was possible. it takes over my entire abdomen.
there is no room for anything else.
i'm now counting down the days or weeks instead of months. soon it will be
hours.
i don't feel ready but i don't think i will ever feel that way.
i feel like an alien from venus is going to come and visit me for a very long
time.
we will stare at each other in wonder and i will say "who ARE you??"
and she will most likely think the same.
i've held a baby for maybe about 30 seconds once, many decades ago. i barely
remember it, but i know it scared me.
this fragile creature. i made someone take it away. i didn't trust myself
to hold it. it wiggled.
this one i will hold with all my heart and might. i am for her.
i will say to her "how did i live without you all this time?"
Current Mood: 34 weeks pregnant
Current Music: pbs
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baby registry!
I thought you might like to know that I have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
ana voog and matthew bruce
You can see ana voog and matthew bruce's entire Baby Registry at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/3BKBUJCBUDKXC
ok, here it is!
if you can think of anything else that would be good for me to add, let me
know :)
if you find a better price for things or want to buy it somewhere else or simply send something else or give us a gift of money (yes!!! $ will go to buy fuzzi bunz cloth diapers and medical costs)
please send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
make cheques and money orders
out to:
rachael olson (my legal name) or matthew bruce
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
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