| may
31, 2007 |
||
9:17pm
the moon is rising from the horizon right now and it is HUGE and ORANGE! (even tho this is the blue moon)
tonight is the 1st anniversary of
M and i having sex for the 1st time :)
i invited him to go to the bodyworks exhibit with me. i had EVERY intention
of it being totally platonic.
i thought he was too young for me and i was not ready for that kind of relationship.
i was a mess, frankly.
but as soon as i saw hm again with his cute moppy hair and tight black jeans
and the way he SMELLED and those EYES of his...ooo and his lips...well, i
was just a goner.
we walked around looking at all the
cadavers (ha, what a date!)
and all i could think about was how good he smelled and how much i wanted
to take him into a stairwell and fuck him right then and there. the chemicals
were FLYING.
i got so nervous i had several glasses of wine. and several glasses of wine
makes me want to kiss more.
and so the combination was...well, going to lead to kissing and then that
lead to...
and here we are :)
i felt bad because jason still lived across the hall from me so we had to
sneak past his door quietly.
but we were not together anymore, but still, i didn't want to be rude about
it.
and M held me all night long and did all the things i needed him to and i felt soooo good and happy and i needed that BADLY.
(i think the next day i went on a
"date" with dave navarro, oddly, because dave was in town. but i
choose M over dave by a million trillion gazillion lightyears. it funny how
things work out. a year ago today i was all nervous and excited to see dave.
but then i went out with M beforehand and my life completely changed...although
i was still not completely convinced until a few more weeks...i was scared
and messed up from my relationship with jason and hurting bad)
now here i am pregnant, looking at the orange blue moon.
waiting for M to come home.
OUR home together :)
and jason lived in his big condo, and we are still friends and all is well :)
my life from a year ago feels so
far away.
my life before M feels a lifetime ago.
there seem to be life before M and life after M.
it's like i have been reborn.
Thursday is the full moon, for some it's early Friday morning. It's the Sun in Gemini and the Moon in Sagittarius with us in the middle. One can doubt the effects and affects of astrology but you can't doubt the force of the moon, the tides twice a day betray its influence. Each of us are a miniature replica of the planet, complete with oceans, we move with the cycles of the moon. Only a fool or a lazy being chooses to never clue up to this in their lifetime.
We are responsible for everything that happens to us, to blame person, places or things on the outside is to not see the deeper workings of the cosmos. You can't fault the clouds you got wet in the rain if you didn't bring a coat, we have choice and now can exersize it like a muscle. In the dance of personal evolution it's necessary to accept our reality, what we don't want we can change. If you find yourself complaining, bitching and generally moaning about your condition and if only "__" were different you would be okay then you haven't gotten down with the real. The forces of nature want us to evolve, it's the direction we're going. So sometimes you get pushed and shoved if you don't make the moves yourself.
This moon is fabulous for setting your course for the next cycle, reaching out to the places you want to go and the things that you want to learn. With the Gemini Sun you can declare them to the force that matters, your own heart, visible in the mirror behind your closed eyes anytime you want. Today we all should do this and at least once today make that the complete focus; speaking our truth to ourselves.
from:
http://itsalllove.com/starry_eyed/starry_eyed.html
6:50pm
i.am.so.tired.
i'm watching a reality show where people pretend to be pirates.
cranky things i wrote a few days ago:
1. just because i COULD crochet just about everything in my life doesn't mean i WANT to.
2. summer is overrated
3. just because i COULD get that *insert object* off freecycle doesn't make me KNOW i want the new and most likely too-expensive-to-justify-in-your-mind *insert object* any less.
4. i exhaustively research EVERYTHING
5. if you can actually think of something i have not yet thought about i will give you a prize.
6. quality of life is everything
7. i hope i make enough breast milk
8. don't ask me questions you can easily google
9. i rarely make friends only posts so if i do not add you as a friend, don't worry about it
10. i'm not a massive fan of chocolate
11. i have a big thing for mangos lately
12. in many other cultures they say "a mother has given birth!"
instead of "a child has been born!"
we need to remember that when a child is born, a mother is also born.
13. i can't wait for the new zap mama cd to come out. it's going to be called "supermoon". ooo :)
14. i need to go pay my phone bill now. ouch.
15. i will never bowl after drinking many beers again (i still have an ingrown toenail from that since last halloween)
16. my boyfriend is a massively enlightened sexgod AND he washes the kitchen floor by hand. I LOVE HIM.
17. ask me one question.
-----
i don't want to crochet EVERYTHING in my life just because i CAN.
for those of you who crochet (or knit or sew etc) do people constantly tell you "oh! i bet you could CROCHET (or insert craft of choice) that!"
it's reached the point of ridiculousness now, in my life, especially now that i am going to have a baby.
everytime i show something i would like to get for the baby, inevitably someone
will point out that i could crochet it.
like i haven't thought of that.
yes, i COULD crochet all the clothes, blankets, hats, slings, wraps, diaper
covers, toys, and even yes MOBILE out of wire....
but farging argh...
yes i suppose i COULD make a *insert object* from grocery bags and hell i
could even crochet a house if i really put my mind to it.
but damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
do i WANT to???
do i want to crochet absolutely EVERYTHING?
no!
do i have the TIME? the stamina?
there ARE other things i would like to do with my time.
there ARE some things i would like NOT crocheted in my life.
+++
baby registry!
I thought you might like to know that I have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
ana voog and matthew bruce
You can see ana voog and matthew bruce's entire Baby Registry at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/3BKBUJCBUDKXC
ok, here it is!
if you can think of anything else that would be good for me to add, let me
know :)
if you find a better price for things or want to buy it somewhere else or simply send something else or give us a gift of money (yes!!! $ will go to buy fuzzi bunz cloth diapers and medical costs)
please send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
make cheques and money orders
out to:
rachael olson (my legal name) or matthew bruce
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
+++
horoscopes from: