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23, 2007 |
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6:10pm
something i wrote to a suicidal friend:
it is liberating to just "let go" of one's creations and let the
world have them and do with them what they will.
i had a hard time (and still do at times) with that whole concept.
also...i used to hoarde a lot of things to the point that the things started
owning me instead of the other wya around.
it took me years and years of working through that until i could finally let
go of that, too. and it's still something i struggle with because i love things
and things love me!
it's a balancing act but i think i am finally getting the hang of it.
a book that really helped me put things in perspective was "clearing
your clutter with feng shui"
it's a very small easy to read book and it made a lot of lightbulbs go off
in my head.
i got rid of a lot last year, finally, because i realized what i wanted MORE
of in my life was SPACE.
i'm still in the proces of letting go of a lot, and probably always will be
to a certain extent. i still have a room i call 'the thing room" and
i can barely move around in there but it's better than it was. i got my 22
mannequins down to 7, for instance :)
wish i could tell you there is no life after death, because it really would
make things a lot simpler. but i've astral projected out of my body a ton
of times and so i know i will live on after my death, and also i remember
a lot of my "past lives" which is interesting but sometimes a hinderance.
so i know that if i kill myself it won't solve a damn thing, much to my frustration
at times.
one of my mottos is :
"now/here to go but through"
and so that is what i do...
i trudge through things.
and....i eventuaally always get through whatever it is i am going through
no matter how foggy, murky, muddy, swampy, blind
sometimes what is waiting for me at the end if yet another swamp, but sometimes not!
life is a strange labryrinth
even with all it's pain, i still have to give thanks for this unique life.
i would miss physicality...things like lilacs, spaghetti, the pumping of blood,
strawberries, snow, my arm falling asleep, my dogs, taking a bath, cold wind,
velvet dresses, textures...
i figure if i just stay in the here and now as much as i can and drink in
the earth's delights, even if so small like the smell of hair or the feel
of carpet, the sound of humming, it's a unique experience worth stickng around
for for another minute.
and that minute ends up lasting another minute and so on and so on it goes
there is always something to amuse me, even if just absurdity itself
keep writing
write like the dickens
write it all
enjoy the sound of keys tapping
pencils scraping across paper
smell of ink
writers block
shape of alphabets
sounds of vowels mixed with consonants
moo8uuttguyhowert
experiment
{{{}}}
3:45pm
it's pouring outside today.
huge huge drops.
so humid, so grey.
heavy air.
i need to get over to jason's and check on kiyoshi.
m and i are not going to go to our birth class tonight.
we are going to "call in sick" and then go watch the 2 hour lost
season finale on jason's big screen tv :)
we have our priorities! :)
it's just too perfect that jason
is out of town and i have access to his tv :)
woo hoo!
and hi-def at that :)
we cannot resist.
+++
baby registry!
I thought you might like to know that I have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
ana voog and matthew bruce
You can see ana voog and matthew bruce's entire Baby Registry at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/3BKBUJCBUDKXC
ok, here it is!
if you can think of anything else that would be good for me to add, let me
know :)
if you find a better price for things or want to buy it somewhere else or simply send something else or give us a gift of money (yes!!! $ will go to buy fuzzi bunz cloth diapers and medical costs)
please send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
make cheques and money orders
out to:
rachael olson (my legal name) or matthew bruce
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
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