| may
10, 2007 |
||
3:22pm
i am desperately desperately tired.
i am holding on by a thread.
last night i had such terrible braxton
hicks contractions i was afraid. but i know these are just normal. but god
they are getting so powerful and strong, i just burst out crying at one point
about 3 or 4am freaking out.
my entire abdomen uterus from right below my breast to my pubic bone goes
as tight as it can, like a drum, and i can feel the bbay moving around in
there with all her might, pushing against me and flipping all over. limbs
moving to and fro. head moving from one side to the other. kicking me on my
cervix, the other side of my belly button. anywhere.
it's overpowering and freaky and it hurts.
i'm having more right now. they just happen every hour almost.
throughout the day and the night.
no, it's not labour. i know this for a fact.
but it makes me know what labour will feel like a bit.
and it's going to be intense.
i try to breathe through it and relax and all that jazz but it's really really
hard to do so.
finally at 6am after peeing about 20 or more times throughout the night and
crying and shifting and twitching, i fell asleep. i thought i had been asleep
for hours by how hard i was sleeping, but when i woke up from a bizarre dream
that a needle was piercing my chin, i realized i had only been asleep for
20 minutes :(
i tried to fall back asleep right away but then the restless legs thing started!
i thought oh my god how can this be happening...because at LEAST with all
the pain i was in all night long i had not had restless legs. but here they
were at 6:20am, jerking me like i was being electrocuted with a cattle prod,
which makes the baby kick me harder, which strats the braxton hicks contractions.
i burst into sobs.
M tried to console me but i wnated at least ONE of us to get some sleep so
i told him i'd be ok and to just go back to sleep.
at least last night before i tried
to go to bed was really wonderful.
we went to our birthing from within class and it was better for me than last
week. a few of the other women in the class were not as she as last time.
afterwards M stopped and let me pick some lilacs which are in full bloom right
now. it was a beautiful summer night, and i have basically missed all of spring
because of my insomnia and ingrown toenail making me so exhausted and not
being able to walk without pain. just to be outside for even a few minutes
was heaven.
then we stopped at dairy queen and had a sundae which was another nice summer
thing to do :)
braxton hicks continued throughout all of this but it was bearable.
we got home and i tried to play with
the dogs but ended up whcking my ingrown toenail on the floor really hard
which caused me to be in extreme pain and i started to cry because it's fucking
not fair that i can't even play with the dogs without something painful totally
screwing with me.
it is beyond frustrating. i have no words.
finally that pain started to subside
and M curled up to me
and touched my breasts so sweetly and got really turned on which then turned
into making love :)
only he could possible get me on the mood to do this in spite of all my pain
:)
he is a master :) for that while i was able to relax and be in my body in
a happy way :)
purr purr purr!
my beautiful lover :)
then he feel asleep and i thought
i would, too.
but no cigar.
finally about 8am i managed to get some sleep. and i slept fitfully until 10am and then actually had some almost real sleep from 10am, until 2pm.
tomorrow i am going to go to my mom's
for the afternoon.
she wants me to look at some baby things she got and also just hang out. i
hope to god i get some sleep so i can even be somewhat sociable.
i'm downloading ANTM (america's next top model) on itunes and then i hope
the new episode of lost will be on there is i can get that, too.
what would i do without TV to get my mind off my pain when M is gone at work?
and what would i do without all of you, ana2 members, to help support me throughout
this pregnancy, i really owe you all so much. and i thank you from the bottom
of my heart for sticking with me during this time. you are allowing me to
be able to have the time to deal with being pregnant in the way that i need
to.
and this is vitally important to me and to lili's very survival and growth
inside of me during this delicate time.
thank you thank you THANK you
+++
baby registry!
I thought you might like to know that I have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
ana voog and matthew bruce
You can see ana voog and matthew bruce's entire Baby Registry at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/3BKBUJCBUDKXC
ok, here it is!
if you can think of anything else that would be good for me to add, let me
know :)
if you find a better price for things or want to buy it somewhere else or simply send something else or give us a gift of money (yes!!! $ will go to buy fuzzi bunz cloth diapers and medical costs)
please send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
make cheques and money orders
out to:
rachael olson (my legal name) or matthew bruce
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
+++
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