| april
21, 2007 |
||
7:46pm
i'm almost 26 weeks pregnant now,
and about a week ago i became totally hungry!
i am hungry for everything all of the time!
up until now i was just hungry in a regular way. sometimes i even had to force
myself to eat more.
but now, i can just eat and eat and eat (although i have to constantly eat
little bits)
i've heard that in your third trimester, which i will be at soon, you really
star to pack on the most weight.
i can't imagine being any bigger than i am now although i know i will be (ouch!
my belly button hurts!)
every commercial for food i am like
"ooo i want that!"
i thought i was going to be spared this pregnancy hunger thing, but apparently
i am not!
5:48pm
i got planet earth, the complete bbc series (which i am going to watch when i start going into labour to have something to concentrate on in the beginning..and will also be good for lili to watch when she gets older)
and the birthing from within book, which will be good to read since we are also taking the birthing from within classes starting on may 2nd :)
and the jonny greenwood "bodysong"
cd :)
(a soundtrack made by the guitarist from radiohead)
i wrote to bobby z, david kahne and
michael brauer and update on my pregnnacy because i had not written in months.
i added a few more items to the baby registry (a book about breastfeeding
and some hypnobirth cds that i need to make labour more relaxing, if possible)
and a babybook that looks good and not too cutesy.
now i am going to watch america's next top model on itunes.
m works until 11pm tonight :(
bjork is on sat nite live tonight! woo!
3:29pm
from the new lj lilizuzu:
Apr. 19th, 2007 | 07:50 pm
this is a blog for lili zuzu voog.
since she obviously cannot type yet because she hasn't been born, we, her
parents, will update this with things of interest, for you and for lili.
we do not know who she is, whether or not she even wants a blog, or if her
middle name is zuzu or not (but we think so).
but this will be the place we make posts for now, about her and for her.
and when ana goes into labour, she will post about her progress here.
things may or may not be friends only...we will make it up as we go along
:)
Apr. 20th, 2007 | 03:46 pm
music: aha
dear lili,
today is 70 degrees and wonderful. it's amazing you are so small right now
that you are inside of my belly!
in just 3 months or so you might be feeling this summer air on your skin,
as well :)
i wonder who you are and what will be your dislikes and likes.
i wonder what other lives you have lead. it's all extremely hard to comprehend.
is your soul maybe still in some old man about to die in some other country?
or maybe you are all here now.
or maybe both. i wonder if we will ever know.
i made a baby registry for you yesterday and so far people have bought you
dr. seuss books and a car seat!
you are already very lucky :) your dad cannot wait to read them to you :)
i hope you will like "where the wild things are" as much as i did
:)
you like to kick me an inch above my belly button today. you are getting bigger
and bigger!
sometimes i do not know how i am going to push you out of me!
i made an appointment to meet another midwife today at a hospital in case
there are complications with the homebirth.
but let's just concentrate on things going smoothly, ok?
so far today i have eaten provolone cheese, rice crackers, strawberry yogurt
and grapes, a banana with peanut butter and 1/4th of a coke.
soon i will have another piece of birthday cake that your dad baked for me
:) it was his 1st birthday cake he ever baked and i'm sure he will bake many
for you! he is a good baker :)
i'm listening to aha and my window is open. i'm looking at the mississippi. i will try to take us for a walk today.
i wonder if you can hear the music and whether or not you like it. it seems
all i do is wonder these days.
i am very nervous and i hope i will do a good job at meeting your needs. i
have so much to teach you, it's hard to even know where to begin.
i hope i will make enough breast milk for you.
i guess i will just start with that.
i promise to only feed you organic carrots because i never got those as a
kid and as a result i hated carrots most of my life.
now i like carrots a lot, but for some reason i have not wanted to eat any
while i have been pregnant with you.
i'm going to go take a little bath now and maybe you will feel that :)
i am shy to talk to you because you do not talk back and i cannot see your
face.
i hope we will have many good conversations.
i am crocheting you a blanket made from white cotton.
love,
your mama
Tags: letter
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Apr. 21st, 2007 | 03:14 pm
music: the washing machine and slight thunder
today is windy and stormy but pleasantly warm.
lili keeps kicking me on my cervix, making me feel like i have to pee all
of the time.
i ate a banana with peanut butter and 2 slices of frozen pizza.
i think i just saw lightning and i hear windchimes.
last night my hormones were going crazy. i break into instant sobs at the
smallest things.
sometimes i will laugh and cry at the same time.
colostrum came out of my nipples last night more than ever before.
and this time there was a tiny bit of blood which did not concern me very
much, but it did enough that i had to google it to see if that was normal,
and it was. it's due to the breasts making more blood vessels very quickly.
i'm doing laundry and fixing my dreads.
i feel like crawling back into the bed but i also want to be productive, but
i just have no energy.
i feel like i have pms where all sounds are heightened. everything is heightened.
i want food, sex, salt, sugar...but when i get it i can't have too much. i'm
always hungry.
i get full fast and it's harder to breathe. the linea negra on my belly is
getting longer.
my belly button hurts and tingles.
the roses and lilies m bought me for my birthday are fully open and smell
delicious.
i'd love to have energy and go for a walk but i just feel like staring.
my windows are open and my skin smells like spring.
i've reached my saturation point for learning about pregnancy, childbirth,
breastfeeding, and the 1st few months of a child's life.
i've read now about everything under the sun that can happen to you during
pregnancy, all the different ways of labour and birth positions, vitamins
and foods i should eat and avoid, pains and aches of all kind, co-sleeping,
all the different sorts of diapers, thermometers, car seats, slings, carriers,
strollers, cribs, co-sleeping, baby sign language, ways to bathe the baby,
clothing, the benefits of breastmilk, dealing with all of the emotions, and
right on down to schooling, whether or not i will let her watch cartoons,
tv or have a barbie. how i will teach her about sex, the earth, social behaviour,
her body, coping, boundaries, spirituality, science, playing, imagination,
making up her own mind, respect, responsibility...the list is infinite...infinite
infinite infinite. i can't even begin to type all i have read and thought
about in the last 6 months.
and how i fit into all of this. how i can do all of this and still have my own life and be an artist. not lose myself. not become her 24/7 entertainment factory. how to juggle/balance fit it all in. do everything in the healthiest way possible for all members of the family. and how do i still do my webcam without harm to any and keep the freakazoids to a minimum?
it's daunting to say the least.
especially since this is something i never was interested in or considered
a possibility in my life.
i always saw myself as being alone.
now i have to educate myself in the fastest way possible. undoing 41 years
of " i will never have a child"
i never even took an interest in other people's children. i wasn't even a
babysitter. i've never changed a diaper in my life.
i think i've held a baby once, nervously, for 5 seconds.
now i am taking a crash course in it, studying 12 to 20 hours a day.
devouring every thing in sight. reading every book. googling everything i
can think of.
if there is anything i do know how to do it is research!
and still, even with all of this knowledge i am attaining, i know most of
it is going to go straight out the window the moment she arrives.
and it will be completely different from anything i am imagining now.
especially if she is anything less than "normal" and healthy...god
forbid. but i'll cross that bridge if i come to it.
but yes, i have reached my saturation point now.
i told m to now research insurance and things like ear infections.
i have no more room for a single more drop of info.
these last few months are now for just BEING pregnant.
taking in what i can of the spring and summer.
trying to get enough air, sleep, food.
watching movies and crocheting when i can find a comfortable position.
nesting and cleaning when i have the energy.
i can't do anymore now.
it seems like i will always be pregnant. it's hard to imagine a time where
i will not feel like i have a basketball with a trout inside of it in my belly.
i struggle to get up off the bed. maneuvering is hard.
the 2 wrinkles between my eyes are becoming permanent.
my nipples are leaking again.
nothing to do but just give in to it all.
Tags: daily update
+++
baby registry!
I thought you might like to know that I have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
ana voog and matthew bruce
You can see ana voog and matthew bruce's entire Baby Registry at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/3BKBUJCBUDKXC
ok, here it is!
if you can think of anything else that would be good for me to add, let me
know :)
if you find a better price for things or want to buy it somewhere else or simply send something else or give us a gift of money (yes!!! $ will go to buy fuzzi bunz cloth diapers and medical costs)
please send to:
ana voog
p.o. box 76152
saint paul, MN
55175
make cheques and money orders
out to:
rachael olson (my legal name) or matthew bruce
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
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