| april
13th, 2007 |
||
11:15pm
watched ANTM and ate mac and cheese.
my back really hurts right now.
M should be back from work soon :)
8:39pm
now i am going to watch a very outdated
video on childbirth from 1983 called:
Childbirth from the Inside Out: Part 2: Delivery and the Post-Natal Period
it has such bad reviews, i am curious :)
6:37pm
it occurred to me a few weeks ago
that i now will have an heir to give anacam and my things to.
this was never an option for me before.
i had no one to give anything to that might care.
it is a relief and also a burden.
because now i wonder if there are things i should have kept that i got rid
of and such.
i wonder what things she'll be interested in and what things she won't be.
she's kicking me in the cervix now.
her favourite place to kick.
i wonder if she will ever read these words.
i want to buy her a camera :)
how fun that would be to see what she takes :)
netflix now has a watch online feature.
so i'm watching "born into brothels", a documentary
3:33pm
since i am lost at sea with moby, the couch....i shall remind myself a beautiful thing...
something M wrote under the bed last night:
"Posted by M on April 12, 2007 at 22:02:35:
I love Ana Voog with all
my heart and all my mind.
I think she's brilliant, and an astoundingly caring, giving spirit.
Not to mention that she is painfully SEXY, good-golly-miss-molly! YOW-za!!!!!
I love her dearly, truly, deeply. And I can't wait to meet the Daugther we've created together. How unbelievable is THAT?! We created another human being together! Aye carumba-- for reals, man!!!
And thanks to everybody here UnderThe Bed who's helped Ana so very much through the years, with words, gifts, money, good vibrations, thoughts, the whole she-bang and everything in-between. It really is magic. Thankya :)"
beautyness :)
---
this morning i had a sad dream. i
had a new love who was a small delicate boy...his name was marti.
it was just the beginning and i followed him out to the woods, but could not
find him.
i saw a pine tree bent into a lake. i balanced myself on the trunk and walked
out inot the lake on it. i wanted to sit on the branches and watch the lake.
it was a beautiful place.
but the tree was not sturdy enough at the top. a predator of some kind lived
in the lake and i was told to get out or it would eat my legs. i rushed onto
the shore in time.
i walked through the woods again and came upon a bleeding bird's head. it
was fresh and still alive and pulsating blood.
it was a martin, the head of marti.
i was so sad. i was told this happens to him all the time.
i held the tiny martin head in my hand, it pulsated blood out of it's eyes
and mouth.
i sang to it trying to bring it back to life although i knew it was futile.
i sang like the woman in Dead Can Dance, long bellowing song of sorrow "farrrr
farrr awayyyyyy...."
the meaning of the words was that i had come a long long way to get to where
i was right then and there.
but i had reached a moment of such painful sorrow and loss after such a long
journey to this far away land and time.
marti the martin, i realized, had made all of my wooden crochet sticks and
also he was a maker of wooden spoons and wooden scissors.
i have no idea what this dream means but it was so sad.
unfortunately, as i was looking for images of swallows (martin is a type of swallow), i came upon too many "women that swallow" shit.
this one was really disturbing
I SWALLOW Girls Mini Tee
"This will certainly make
them come running!
Let them know what a special
little girl Daddy raised!"
here's another winner from the same
site:
it sucks that my child could ever be subjected to this.
2:47pm
as i feared, even with the foam and
covering gone, it's not much smaller and lighter.
i don't know how the FUCK i am going to get this thing out of here.
i need help.
*whimpers pleads*
i feel like i am wrestling with a sperm whale.
it is the moby dick of couches.
it will be my undoing.
i need it out of here NOW.
for my sanity.
help help help.
*cry*
2:30pm
it's friday the 13th and i'm deconstructing
the couch with a scissors because i can't find anyone to take the damn thing
or help me get it the fuck out of here.
i think i will need a saw at some point. i wish i had a saw.
i can't take this couch being in her anymore!
vamoose!
chunk by chunk it shall go!
+++
http://www.ana2.com/private/2cams.shtml
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