| january
16, 2007 |
||
10:42am
images
the midwife i was going to meet today had to reschedule for friday.
which works out better for me anyway because i felt nervous and unprepared
and i'm tired as all get out.
last night i ordered Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. and should get it by thursday.
i'm excited to get it because i want to read something POSITIVE about childbirth
that dioesn't scare the living crap put of me.
my mantra right now is "I TRUST MY BODY"
then at least i can have read a little bit to be able to ask better questions
of her.
it's -2 F today, when i woke up at 8:30am.
the sun was shining off a thin layer
of snow off the tops of the buildings and all the stone smoke stacks looked
like they were puffing out light.
it was ethereal industrial.
a magical place, river frozen over for the 1st time, white glinting, asphalt
grey blotted out by reflections, no shadow could hide.
everything aglow and even the cars on the highay far away looked they might
be skating to someplace invisible on the horizon.
and the cars parked in lots shined like diamonds.
whenever i imagine giving birth,
it's always at night. the middle of the night.
but maybe it will be a morning. maybe it will come by morning light, or a
sunset,
or in the middle of a thunderstorm.
i watched some very short childbirth
videos on youtube and google last night and they made me cry because they
were so intense.
if anyone knows anymore i can watch on the net for free that show close up
stuff, let me know.
it helps me to see it.
http://www.anacam.com/doc/ana_voog_documentary.wmv
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