january 13, 2007

3:58pm

talked to my mom. smoothed it out.
about me being the mom and her being the grandmom. no adoption.
she still gives me too much advice it drives me insane but at least we are on speaking terms and i have avoided a potentially disatrous minefield of a situation.
i'm nuking some enchiladas.
we got out 1st netflix movies today.
pirates of the carribean (part 2), wings of desire (the german version), and rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead.
M gets off work around 4ish.
so i look forward to him being home on us laying in bed and watching movies.
i don't want to think at all.
i want to shut my brain completely off and concentrate on getting food in me and sending good energy to the matoog.

2:02pm

there hasn't ben much i've been doing besides lying in bed, feeling nauseous, worrying, sleeping, staring, talking to my mom dad or friends, researching pregnancy related things on the internet and just trying to let go and trust in the universe somehow. and watching season 2 of battlestar galactica at night with M (which we finished now).
the days are cold.
i'm having trouble eating, i just don't feel hungry.
my libido is zero.
i have no energy to cook, clean, or read or crochet or do anything whatsoever.
it's a chore just to brush my teeth.
i'm scared of the pain of labour with no pain medications.
homebirth.
i'm trying to figure out how to be a jedi.
i don't feel like talking to my mom today.
i feel mad at her and not ready to talk.
i wish i had energy.
i can't wait for spring.
i need to go walk by the river.

images

 



http://www.anacam.com/doc/ana_voog_documentary.wmv


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horoscopes from:

http://www.astro.com/
http://www.tarot.com/astrology/
http://itsalllove.com/starry_eyed/starry_eyed.html