| december
29, 2006 |
||
6:56pm
today i ate good things.
mangoes (not very ripe, tho), kiwis, strawberries, a bit of cheese, fresh
bread, 1/2 an avocado, a tomato, fresh spring water. yum :)
thanks howie for the prenatal workout tape :) i just got it today :)
i hope soon i will have the energy to do it :)
i'm still waiting for the ink i ordered for my printer a million years ago
so i can print out some sort of "business ledger" to show social
services how much i make so i can finally make a frickin' doctor's appointment
somewhere.
in 3 days i will supposedly be 10 weeks pregnant and they will be able to
hear the babies heartbeart by "doppler".
it would be a relief to know ANYTHING.
but who knows when i will get to a doctor still.
still waiting on printer ink, and so much red tape and forms to fill out before
that can even happen. *sigh*
i'm going to go watch america's funniest
home videos now.
because that is all i have the energy to do.
3:09pm
so much to say but sooooo tired!
another super grey foggy wet day. it's supposed to be like this all week.
i think i will go to a tanning booth or something just to get some sun because
not getting any sun is really making me listless even on top of my normal
exhaustion.
and i can't have any caffeine so all i can do is just force myself to do a
few things here and there and then take naps.
last night M and i went food shopping and it's WONDERFUL to actually have
food i want to eat again. fruit and hummus and good bread and cheese. happiness
for this :)
before we went food shopping we had a long making love session which was rrrreeeaaallly
nice and i needed that.
not just a quickie but hours long of leisure.
M went down on me and i took it in in utter luxury just feeling all the feelings
with no expectations on having an orgasm or anything and it was wonderful
to take that pressure off me and just luxuriate. and he ate me like an exotic
fruit, just making out with my pussy as if it were my mouth, touching me in
new places and ways that made me sigh and tremble and smile.
then we got out the hitachi and i had 7 orgasms which is a real step up to
becoming way less shy around him and i am able to let go so much more.
after i was satisfied and floaty he entered me like a graceful lion and had
quite a splendid orgasm :)
ya, it was good :)
luxury :)
then we listened to coast to coast
and couldn't fall asleep until after 5am.
i didn't get much sleep. tried to get back to sleep after he left for work
but just say there and fumed about the cops and my upcoming court date.
so i just finally gave up on sleeping and got up and paid my electric and
phone bill and trouble shooted why i could not get connected to the internet.
archived the old anagram and made this one.
listening to coldplay.
i think i can take a nap now. and then i will have an avocado, cheese, tomato
sandwhich. yum.
maybe i should have one now.
then i have more anacam biz to attend to and some cleaning.
and we need to find some time to rent some fred astaire videos for new years.
here is a journal entry M made last night about xmas:
"A
Christmas Story [Dec. 29th, 2006|03:00 am]
Christmas!!!
Hannukah, Kwanza, the Light Festivals, and the Winter Solstice. yes. almost past, now.
our Christmas, Ana and i, was spent a little north of the Cities at her Mom's house and her Stepdad. Christmas Eve, after some stress in the early afternoon trying to wrangle everything together and some bad memories, we were off. it was my first time meeting her, Ana Voog's Mom, and was a little nervous. not a lot but a little. we had hor d'oeurves and talked about the drive, what i do for a living, what i studied in school, and "Tell me does living with her drive you crazy?" i answered, "no, if i did, i wouldn't have moved in! i love her." we kissed. and moved on to supper, which was traditional Nordic Christmas: Oyster Stew, Potato Sausages, Lefse, a relish plate full of olives and pickles and such, a dish of Artichoke Hearts, and Pickled Herring.
afterwards we had a cup of tea,
and some cookies in the den, and Ana's Mum brought out the childhood photo
albums.
"awww" says i. Ana grins and grunts and rolls her eyes, so so charmingly.
i liked her Mom and her Stepdad, i decided. and felt at home.
then we opened the presents. i got a very warm pair of black leather gloves with a sheep's wooly lining, and a tan sweater, sort of a writer's jacket. very much a writer's jacket, the kind old professors and writers and Walt Whitman would wear. Ana's StepDad, who writes books of Theology, had one just like it, only it was dark gray while mine was tan.
all was good. Ana had already given me her Christmas, a DVD player so that we can now watch movies in bed and snuggle simultaneous, and a DSL cable for my computer so that now both of us can be hooked up to the internet :) and i got her a ring from Macy's, which she picked out. Sterling Silver with a sky-blue Topaz at its center. it's very *bling* :) i love it. and so does she.
after eating more cookies, and more talking -- about what we think about becoming Parents. "what will you do when you come home from work and you have this little one staring back at you saying, 'hello Da-Da'? what will you do?" i answer, "well, i think i'll say 'hello! hi there! what are you up to? how was your day?'" (in a kiddy sort of voice) -- we went down into the basement where our room was.
Ana's Mom and Stepdad set up the VCR for us to watch BABETTE'S FEAST. one of Ana's favorites, my first time seeing it. but god, it was brilliant. such a good film. sweet and wise, and sad, and optimistic. it was the perfect way to end Christmas Eve night. BABETTE'S FEAST, snuggling with Ana, and yet another plateful of cheese and meats and sweets and breads, raiding the fridge in the middle of the night like kids having a sleepover.
...
Christmas Day, woke up late and
made love :) very cleanly, very discreetly :) Ana's biological Dad and her
adopted Brother came over for lunch. all of us opened Christmas stockings,
in the Nordic tradition. got a few treats, a lot of bath stuff: soaps, lotions,
shampoos, balms. then a huge Christmas lunch of Porkloin, Stuffing, Cranberries,
Sweet Potatoes, Salads, Lefse, etc. and etc. it was a feast. Ana's Mom is
a damn good cook. and i gorged myself. painfully so.
then, more talking. everyone in a sort of golden glow, myself included. me
and Ana snuggling and talking and staring off into space daydreaming in-between
conversations in the living room, on the couch. the Christmas tree. a few
cups of coffee. more cookies. a lot of laughing. a lot of smiling. a lot of
talking. and a lot of talking.
eventually, after packing up a
half closet-full of old clothes, shirts and blouses and fur coats and odds
and ends, from Ana's Mom to Ana, we were ready to go. Ana's Dad and Brother,
already gone. and hugs and thank you's. and boom -- 8 o' clock p.m., and we
were on our way home. a trunkful of gifts and leftovers.
very very happy, and very tired. ready to conk out on the bed.
and after picking up the dogs from fuzzybumblebee, we did.
we crashed. we talked. we snuggled.
just her and me. i said it was the best Christmas i'd had in many, many years.
and it was. "
+++
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