| nov
9th, 2006 |
||
8:06pm
fell asleep for an hour. watched
survivor.
now i'm watching CSI.
processing the events of the day.
5:28pm
i'm soooo sleepy.
didn't get much sleep. then off to the 2 hour evaluation by the new doctor.
she was very nice. i liked her a lot. too bad she lives so far away from me.
she gave me some references to therapists closer to me.
i'll check them out.
she basically diagonosed me as having PTS (post traumatic stress syndrome)
which i knew i had, so it was no surprise to me.
she upped my dosage of prozac from 20mg to 40mg, which i told her works better
fo me right now.
and switched me over from xanax to valium because valium is longer lasting.
and then she hopes to slowly ween myself off of that.
while i was being evaluated my dad took a walk around (not around the entire
lake, it huge) lake minnetonka. he said he had a good time.
he bought me a cheeseburger on the way home which made me sleepy.
now i'm just battling it out trying
not to sleep.
gotta make it to 7pm to watch survivor and then maybe i'll go to bed early.
12:19pm
today i go to se my new shrink.
it will be weird. i am nervous.
i have seen dr. simon for 20 years...switching to a new doctor that is far
away is scary.
she will do an 1 1/2 hour to 2 hour "evaluation" of me.
how do i summarize my 40 years of life into that amount of time.
good thing i can talk fast and have the outline in my head.
although it all might brumble as soon as i get there because i have a tendency
to branch of into many subsections of one issue.
i'll try my best.
my dad is taking me, dear dad.
almost an hour and 1/2 to my house, then 2 hours there, then 1/2 an hour to
get to the shrink, and then he gets me home and then still has to drive back.
i feel extremely nervous and a burden.
but i just have to get over it.
arrrrgh.
plus, he is going to pay for it so it makes me feel even more silly.
but ya, at least it's getting done and i'm glad i have a dad i can count on for some things.
in his old age he will be counting
on me.
i am in charge of his will, his funeral, making sure the money goes where
he wants it to go, and then taking care of my brother for the rest of my life
he he goes before i do.
intense.
and in case he needs to be unplugged to machines that keep him alove, it is up to me to have to fortitude to pull the plug.
he'll be here in 1/2 an hour or 45 minutes so i better start getting ready now and get dressed.
wish me luck.
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