| august
23rd , 2006 |
||
8:11pm
it's interesting that when i have
the nightvision on, my hair still looks as if it were blonde.
called my friend carolyn (coojie on lj) to make an appointment for a massage.
she was the bassist in my band, the blue up?, and she is also a very talented
massage therapist who is always taking classes to update her skills.
7:26pm
it's 73 degrees. it gets darker out
so fast now.
i'm hungry.
i think i will make an instant noodle soup or something.
my bath is still making itself because it takes over an hour to make a bath,
that is how fuct my water pressure is in there right now.
i'll put some sheets in the laundry, put some new ones on.
7:19pm
ok, got it so it opens in a new window
if you click on the 1st image.
macromedia dreamweaver is acting whack.
no wonder i haven't been feeling creative lately.
it's technical crap like this that just KILLS my creativity.
i spend SO much energy trying to just make things work, technically, that
in the end, i have no energy left for my creative part.
always battling the webcam32 from freezing and other stuff.
god, it's no wonder.
7:16pm
ok, i see the css thing is for the
slideshow or something, even tho i did not ask for the slideshow option, or
so i THOUGHT.
also i cannot make it so the slideshow opens itself into a new window.
what in the heck?
why do they have to make this stuff so counter intuitive?
6:55pm
trying out a new thumbnail thing:
i'm trying to figure out how to make
it so it does not add the names of the jpegs.
also, if i make a slideshow from it, it will not upload, i don't get it.
also it's adding a jepeg of the remote cam and also of this page, itself.
why?
and what is this index.css page it makes?
i don't need css.
i don't understand.
i'll upload this all and see if any of it works...
oh and fuck, this thing ALSO makes
a folder called "images"
so did it just overwrite the image folder the OTHER thumbnail programme made?
i think it did.
this is madness.
ok i just renamed that one images2, i hope that will work.
then i need to go get the original image folder off my server so i have both.
this is insane.
6:00pm
ohmigod.
thank you to theremina for this link :)
it made my day :)
i want to hear a duet between this
guy and jandek.
that would be the bomb.
from his site:
"it turns out that I am the only guy in the whole world who can sing
four octave voice range (bass, tenor, alto, and soprano) at the same time....."Walter,
you can sing from the lowest C to the highest C with no problem. You have
a very wide voice range. This is very very rare. Absolutely increadible. You
can be a star."
+++
M gets off work now. i'm making a
bath.
i ate some cheese.
the dogs are napping.
sent off a few pix to my mailing list.
posted in my LJ. reading friends pages now.
then do some anacam biz.
then try out this other thumbnail programme.
making coffee.
3:43pm
click on 1st pic for slideshow.
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i'm going to give this thumbnail
programme a try later..
http://www.digitaldutch.com/arles/
here are some pix from the past few
days.
we were watching DUNE last night. not the director's cut, which i prefer.
yesterday was a mixture of good and bad.
i woke up with food poisoning and
was very ill.
then i had to get rid of all the extenstion cords.
then the fire dept inspection came and were RIDICULOUSLY anal.
all my long sleeved shirts on on a shelf but because they were not FOLDED
they said they were a fire hazard, which i think is beyond ridiculous.
and all my fabric and clothing which is on shelves, thye said that all needed
to go into boxes with lids.
WTF????
i can't put my clothing and fabric and shelves without it being in lidded
boxes??
that's silly!
maybe i should have to put my bed then i a box with a lid, and all furniture
made from fabric shoudl go into boxes with lids, too!
i am really pissed about this.
and all my fabric was folded. and they were upset i had some boxes on the
floor.
why can't i have some boxes on the floor?
there was nothing at all in the way of anyone not being able to get to anything
in case of a fire.
for fuck's sake.
we wanted to go to the cathedral and then mickey's diner but i couldn't get
awake in time to make it to the cathedral so we went to mickey's.
before we went there we stopped at this haberdashery i had always wanted to
go inside and it was wonderful.
a man with a waxed mustache who was very gentlemanly and polite showed me
many fabrics and hats.
i found a great black fedora i want there for only $40.
i hope to get it one day.
a custom made suit costs about 1,300 which is normal.
they also sell cigars and having a SINGING barber :)
M will have to go in there for a shave someday :)
then we went to mickey's and i ordered 2 eggs and hashbrowns but then could
not eat it because my stomache was still upset from the morning.
and i had to use their bathroom.
when in the bathroom i got a SPLITTING migraine headache in a nanosecond which
felt like someone had just driven an ice pick through my head.
it wasn't like "oh, i feel a head ache come on" it was this IMMEDIATE
full blown migraine which then slowly started to fade in a few hours but remained
a headahce for the rest of the night and i still have it now.
i wasn't even straining or doing anything out of the ordinary in the bathroom.
it was just like ZAP, ice pick in the head.
there is definitely something very very wrong with me.
and i have to say i am a bit worried.
i wish i had the $ to go to a doctor and get an MRI.
then we made it home, and i was so glad to be home.
i took more aspirin and then we watched dune in the new round folding chairs
that jason gave me (because we watch it on my computer which has the dvd player)
i had terrible night mares all ight long that i was on this reality tv show
and lived in this enormous house and i had the biggest room.
so because i had the biggest room the tv producers said it would be cool if
for the 1st night we could all have a "get to know" one another
party in my room, which i said fine.
but then no one would leave when i needed to go to bed.
and the amount of people in my place was seemingly endless.
some people would leave , some i had to forcibly remove.
i started screaming at the top of my head "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
and this went on for HOURS.
i started whacking people with sticks to get them to move. and then had to
resort to pointing my gun at them which only fired blanks.
then i had a gigantic sword and another guy did, too, and he was prepared
to kill me to stay in my room, but i did not want to kill him,, i just wanted
him to leave.
he was enormous.
i was scared of everyone at this point because everyone was being so illogical
and cruel by not leaving that i did not know what they were capable of.
i didn't feel safe.
i decided that being on the show was not worth it to me to be under that much
stress so i jumped into the ocean and tried to swim to the other side, just
to anywhere, an island, a boat, anything.
just get me out of there.
some people followed and tried to catch me.
i swam as fast as i could and this scene repeated itself over and over again.
then i finally had a good dream where
i met ducky doolittle in a nmice restauraunt.
she was dressed in a beautiful pin striped suit, but not in a man's style.
it also looked very victorian at the top.
her hair was like something from the 20's but avant garde, i can't explain
it.
and her eyes were glowing an emerald green.
she looked so beautiful.
i was so happy to see her so i could apologize for not making it to her shows.
i had another good dream, too, but i can't remember that one now.
but the bad one is still bothering me, but i'm glad i have a little good in
me to semi balance things.
i don't know what my bad dream was
trying to tell me.
i don't feel like there are a bunch of people in my life that are in my space
right now.
i AM worried about money and my headaches.
but that dream doesn't seem to be about money or that.
i'm just not sure what to make of it.
today is cloudish and warm.
last night there was some thunder and lightning as i was falling asleep.
i don't know what to do with today.
i really feel the tax thing looming over me.
maybe my dream was about the tax people and the fire dept.
i do feel THEY are in my space and will not get out.
it could be about that.
ya, it probably is.
like i feel i finally have this spacious cool room, which is my life, but
they are coming in and ordering me how they want it to be and they will not
leave me alone.
telling me to stick all my things in boxes with lids! as if!
i do feel beyond pestered and controlled by this.
my house is my haven and having total strangers in my house ordering me to
have things ina way which will cause me great unhappiness is just not at all
cool with me.
what i will probably do is just take all of jason's moving boxes and stick
things in those for one day, and then when they will come over they will see
this and be out of my hair for another year.
then take everything out of the boxes again.
but fuck. what a hassle.
i am just so angry over their illogical behaviour.
i feel invaded.
ya, the dream was definitely about that.
ok, i've settled mystery.
but the headache one is still weird.
i guess i do feel there are a lot of things in my life right now which are
a "pain in the neck"
the stress of breaking up with jason and him moving and his new condo and
all that.
the things which are not working out very well for me right now like this
thumbnail programme which is just radically bothering me and upsetting my
entire website.
the goddamn floors which need to be painted silver.
the things that need to be fixed in my house, like lightbulbs, the broken
window, the drain, the water pressure.
all these little things and then they tell ME that i have to stick ALL my
beautiful fabric in boxes with lids???
fuck no.
it seems a constant struggle just
to keep up with laundry and dishes.
now i have all these anagrams to fix.
i have no fucking clue how to raise money for things i need.
like going to the doctor, paying back some people moeny i owe them,
coming up with rent and utilities in a matter of days now.
everything feels precarious.
but i am trying SO HARD to keep moving and going and staying positive.
but ya, i am overwhelmed, truly.
but i am trying so hard to stay positive and concentrate on what i have and
not what i have not.
and i have to remind myself to take one step at a time.
i jsut have to constantly remind myself this or i will implode.
so today, again, i will do laundry, and dishes, and be happy i have some food,
and be happy that i have my apartment at this moment.
and i will be happy i have M now and have "gotten away" from jason.
and be happy i learned a new skill.
happy for my dogs.
happy for my view and air.
happy i have clean water and a tub.
happy i got free things from jason.
i must rememeber to be thankful for all i have.
and i have a month before the fire dept comes.
and then i'll be in the clear again.
everything will work out somehow.
everything is ok.
everything is ok.
everything is ok.
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