today's anagram

august 18th , 2006
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10:55pm

M is home now.
dunno when he will be over.
tried to make myself come today but had to stop because i could feel myself getting a splitting headache from it.
that is SO weird.
i have no explanation for it.
very frustrating to say the least.
and kind of scary, too, because i certainly do not want to have an aneurism over having an orgasm.
so i am quite at a loss as to the explanation for this new phenomena in my life.
i know it sounds goofy, but i feel like going to a psychic or something and asking them WTF?
all my orgasms have just been really different since i have been having sex with M.
sexually, i am supremely more satisfied on every other level.
like i feel i am being fed a good meal full of vitamins and i feel healed from it.
but just this orgasm thing....i need that.
i've never been able to orgasm from intercourse and maybe that is the way it will always be.
i don't know.
but i know there has to be a way because i know that i have DEFINITELY had orgasms in my dreams which have woken me up!
so i know it's possible to have an orgasm without even being physically stimulated in any way.
so it's frustrating. all i can say is that when M is inside me it overwhelms all other sensations...like someone hitting you over the head with a hammer would overwhelm the sensation of someone gently tapping your arm to get your attention.
and god, he is SO good at giving me head, yet i still feel this sense of self consciousness that prevents from being able to come.
this irrates me to no end.
he can turn me on so much tho that i then have to plug in the hitachi for the orgasm and then i actually scream , it's so intense.
but i know we will figure this puzzle out eventually.
but god, me just making myself come giving me a migraine?
what is THAT?
i used to be able to come 44 times in a row and now i get a headache?
do i just feel guilty or something or what IS it about?
i don't know...
i am totally mystified.

i don't know, i thought i'd write about this to see if anyone else has ever experienced this.
so little is known about sex, really.

9:49pm

in 10 minutes M gets off work.
which means he'll be over here around 11pm, i would think.
i am still doing laundry.
and trying to come up with the energy to hang my clothes up that are on my bed.
i have a headache.
it seems like i have had one for days on end.
so i just have to keep on taking aspirin and excedrin.
my neck and shoulders are really sore, too.
i need a good rub down.
there is nothing on tv because it's friday.
i don't watch that much tv anymore anyway because everything is repeats now.
i think i might turn it on a few hours a week and that is it.
i also am avoiding the news.
i've found my life is less stressful not hearing about everyone being blown to bits and the threat of WW3 at every turn.

i fixed the garbage disposal today which made me VERY happy.
there was a knife down there.
i took some tongs and got them out.
i don't know why i didn't think of tongs sooner.

my bathroom sink is clogged.
i've tried draino but it did nothing.
i took needle nose pliers and tried to get whatever is stuck down there out.
i've tried with all my might to just remove that stopper thing so i can get it clean, i've yanked it with all my might. it will not budge.
i need to get the repair people up here but i don't want them up here until i have things a tiny bit more clean.
and i'm getting there.
i would also like to show them that i am painting the floors.
i don't want them to come up here and freak about my floors, even tho i don't think they will.
and entirely gross and interesting thing has happened with the drain in the bathroom sink.
a small plant is starting to grow out of it!
i kid you not!
not mold or mildew but an actual PLANT of some kind.
what on EARTH?
how did seeds get down my bathroom sink?
and what in the world kind of plant is it???
so far it has 2 tiny leaves. it's about 1/4th of an inch tall.
i'm actually quite curious to see what kind of plant it is, so maybe i will just watch it for a week and see what happened.
but of course i will need that removed!
i mean...a PLANT.....in my SINK?
i am beyond mystified as to what kind of plant would grow in a drain.
and i am extremely mystified as to how a seed got down there in the 1st place.

and then i need a ton of lightbulbs changed.
the one under the microwave, the one in the fridge, the one by the washer and dryer broke off.
and one in the hallway.
and i have ZERO hot water pressure in my tub.
it takes over an hour to fill the tub
it keeps doing this. this will be the 3rd time they "fix" it.

8:19pm

i've reached my saturation limit on cleaning for today.
time for a bath and food.

7:44pm

i have moved the biz computer back into the thing room which means i was able to out the dsl modem back in there, too, so the dogs will nto knock the cord out anymore.
also i now i have more room on my desk and more outlets for my things.
THANK GOD.
i can plug everything in and i have untangled all more cords and now my red rug does not have cords criss crossing it all over the frickin' place.
praise be zeus.
now i am going to see of i can get my vacuum wo work.
i think it just needs a new bag, but i don't have any right now.
and then i will dust.
and then i will take a bath.
and then maybe make some spaghetti.
thank god things are getting more clean and organized.
it was driving me nuts.
oh, and i still have yet to hang up my clothes.
and then in the thing room, i need to fold my clothes, but at least i got the clothing into the right spots.
i just didn't fold anything.

and i need to wash the kitchen floor.
and do a thorough cleaning of the kitchen and bathroom.

then i can work on getting more of the beige carpetting up and then paint my floors silver.
and i hope by then my creativity will return to me.

6:54pm

still cleaning.
got a lot done.
now the cams are blue.
i won't know what the heck is up with that but i am trying my hardest to figure out what is the problem.
argh.

5:26pm

took out trash.
folding clothes. hanging up clothes.

5:08pm

finally getting some stuff done.
laundry. new sheets on bed (but i couldn't get the blood stains out, bummer)
other cleaning. making a bath. gonna take out the trash.
then i'll clean the rug again.

4:14pm

i feel completely unmotivated today.
i started reading "psychic sexuality" by ingo swann then fell asleep.
it's very great out and also maybe my sleepiness is due to my period, also.

here are 4 avi movies of me on the langford ferry in canada

ferry 1,007 KB
ferry2 1,934 KB
ferry3 2,332KB
ferry4 476KB

i'm going to try to force myself to clean some.

1:08pm

got my period, yay!

click on 1st to start slide show.