| may
15th, 2006 |
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7:12pm
btw, jason does not have access to here right now.
in case you wanted to know that.
5:53pm
knit1 magazine 2006
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me in it.
thank you, universe, for giving me this today.
4:54pm
it's a beautiful day.
i don't know what the fuck i am doing.
listening to juana molina.
i should clean..i should...i am the walking dead
i'm so confused. there are no words.
i'll be ok.
jason and i msg each other.
i tell him not to worry but focus on himself.
i think he finally gets that, i hope.
i just want him to focus on himself.
i'm not in the mood to write about it yet.
sorry the cam is boring.
this is going to take awhile.
it will go through many stages.
i'm going to go clean the kitchen now and then make a bath, i hope.
god i don't know what to fucking say.
i'm trying to get through it the only way i know how.
we all try our best, usually.
sorry i am late in getting back to some of you.
i need a good cry but i don't want to even go there.
i'm just trying to hold down the fort.
im sorry i seem so insane.
don't worry about me.
it's ok that you don't say anything.
what can you say?
i get that.
http://www.ana2.com/private/today/AnaVoogLo.mov
70.21 MB
i hope that link will work
it is a little movie marcus hamm made from my anamates that is REALLY cool.
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i feel like fucking shit today.
lost. comfused.
everything seems wrong.
i wish this day would end now.
===
555
i keep seeing 555 for weeks now.
i wish i knew what it meant.
it makes me feel uneasy.
before it was always 444, and now it's 555
things on 555, although i must say, they don't really have much meaning to
me...
http://www.biblewheel.com/GR/GR_555.asp
http://www.biblewheel.com/Wheel/Spokes/Heh_Walk.asp
http://www.crystalinks.com/555.html
http://www.greatdreams.com/500-trumpets.htm
http://www.greatdreams.com/five/five.htm
555 = The Magical Number of the Pentagram, or Pentalpha, which is composed of 5 A’s. A is Aleph in Hebrew, and Aleph spelled in full is 111. 5x111=555=HAD spelled in full. Thus the Pentagram is a symbol of HAD (Hadit), the flame that burns in every heart of man and in the core of every Star.
http://thelemicgoldendawn.tripod.com/gematria.htm
===
I CHING: 24
RETURN. Success.
Going out and coming in without error.
Friends come without blame.
To and fro goes the way.
On the seventh day comes return.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.
After a time of decay comes the turning point. The powerful light that has been banished returns. There is movement, but it is not brought about by force. The upper trigram K'un is characterized by devotion; thus the movement is natural, arising spontaneously. For this reason the transformation of the old becomes easy. The old is discarded and the new is introduced. Both measures accord with the time; therefore no harm results. Societies of people sharing the same views are formed. But since these groups come together in full public knowledge and are in harmony with the time, all selfish separatist tendencies are excluded, and no mistake is made. The idea of RETURN is based on the course of nature. The movement is cyclic, and the course completes itself. Therefore it is not necessary to hasten anything artificially. Everything comes of itself at the appointed time. This is the meaning of heaven and earth.
All movements are accomplished in six stages, and the seventh brings return.
Thus the winter solstice, with which the decline of the year begins, comes
in the seventh month after the summer solstice; so too sunrise comes in the
seventh double hour after sunset. Therefore seven is the number of the young
light, and it arises when six, the number of the great darkness, is increased
by one. In this way the state of rest gives place to movement.
+++
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