april 12th , 2006
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9:58pm

i forgot to tell you a happy thing today.
i saw my 1st robin of spring :)
also, buds are forming on the trees and the grass is getting greener :)

4:56pm

back from the chiropractor. what a strange experience.
at the end, i was totally better, but then as soon as i got home, the pain is back :(
farg.
although he said i would need several sessions. so i have one again for tomorrow.
first i laid on a table face down and and did some adjustment to my back, but that did make any cracking noise.
then i laid on each side and he did an adjustment, but that didn't seem to make much of a difference to me either.
then he did some acupuncture.
then he stuck these weird electrode things on my back all over which made my muscles contract and uncontract by themselves. it felt sort of like weird creepy crawly things were all over me. it wasn't a bad feeling, it was kind of cool, but definitely weird.
and he stuck a big heating pad on me.
after all that i could actually move my neck without any pain, and he massaged the back of my neck a bit.
and then he cracked my neck in 2 directions which was creepy to hear my bones crunching like that, especilly in my neck.
but it didn't hurt.
then he put me on this table that was like a rolling pin going up and down my spine and had me lay with my neck on a cold pack.
and then it was done.
afterwards i felt completely fine. i was completely amazed.
before i was in such pain it hurt to laugh or cough or even clear my throat, or to even walk as each step i took made sharp pain.
i thought i was completely fixed, but then as i was standing there paying them
($50 to join this "club" or something a one time fee, and then each session adjustment after that is 20 bucks and 5 bucks extra for each other wweird thing, like the acupuncture.
so i guess i see him 3 more times and it will cost $29 each visit.
today i paid $79.
so seriously suckfest.
i hope it makes me better by the end of this all.
tomorrow i see him again. he was a really nice guy.

i just took 800 mg of ibuprofen and now i am going to lay down, because that is really all i can do.
it doesn't look like i am going to get one single damn prop made for my trip to portal.
but oh well. what can you do?
sorry to be such a downer lately but fuck, life is really sucky right now.
i can't move, i can't create anything, i can't clean, i can't do a damn thing.

i'll try and see if i can read or crochet or something.
but even that makes me have to put my neck in a position that is not very comfortable.

it's a freaking gorgeous day out, too.
i want to go walking so bad.
it all just makes me want to cry.

2:32pm

i'm exhausted from yesterday.
i am a noodle.
except for my neck which is in horrible sharp pain.
i am so glad i see the chiropractor in an hour.
i really hope he can fix me because how many days has it been like this now?
it's just nuts.
and it never gets any better.
it hurts to even drink a glass of water, i can't moe my head at all.
i wish i had one of those neck braces.
sharp shooting pain from my shoulders up into my head everywhere.
i need some percocet.

+++

from:

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/is_aries/
http://www.astro.com/
http://www.tarot.com/astrology/
http://itsalllove.com/starry_eyed/starry_eyed.html

Your Horoscope for April 12 , 2006

A shift in your attitude could have you going off in the wrong direction today thanks to a challenging aspect from Jupiter. If you start feeling thwarted or blocked in your efforts don’t overreact, because this aspect suggests that you’ll be inclined to blow things way out of proportion!

and

Weak, transient effect: This morning you are very sensitive to other people's moods and can judge them quickly. You lend a sympathetic and friendly ear to people's problems, for you have a strong desire to protect and support your friends emotionally. Peace and harmony in your personal world are very important to you at this time, and you are not willing to deal with someone else's harsh feelings, except to try to smooth them over. Your sensitivity to other people also enables you to deal easily with groups. You respond to the group's changes of mood and are able to fit your communication to that mood. Thus this is a good time for any sort of public appearance or situation in which you have to sell something to a group or persuade them of a point of view. You are able to make others feel that you are one of them.

and

Don't push yourself too hard today. Your key planet Mars has been through Pluto's wringer, which has cut into your usual efficiency. Grace counts more than brute force, so use your senses to guide you to flow with the tides, instead of fighting against them. Creativity, not productivity, is the tune of the day.

and

Wednesday
Moon in Libra
Here is the sweet spot of Libra. The moon is full on the west coast of N.America tomorrow morning. So take today to clear the board. The new Moon that this full one grew from was a Solar Eclipse. Review your pattern of mind the last two weeks; what are the repetitive areas that have come up? List the top 5 worries and see if they are myth or fact. The concrete ones you can go a bit deeper into, not worrying but seeing it's nature. Like money, many worry constantly about it, still there is somewhere to sleep and something to eat. It's worrying about an undefined place, person or thing that you think you want. Get clear about those desires, if you want caviar in a limo you can get your list out and define your path to it.

Cutting worries down at the root is the best way to see if it's internal guidance causing you to think about it or an unruly mind just wasting neurons. What we eat today we think and feel tomorrow. Some believe what we think and feel today leads to what we feed the body tomorrow, which exposes a loop we all have the ability to tinker with.