feb 22nd, 2006
past anagrams	menu	utb

11:31pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fModq_rvNMk

11:22pm

i was looking for a blue crescent moon like in my dream.
so i did a google search and found one that looked like my dream and was shaped like a backwards C and was blue.
and it's not of the moon but of EARTH.

http://www.spacewallpapers.net/wallpapers/displayimage.php?album=5&pos=2

freaky.

10:28pm

well, nothing like the deafening sound of thunderous silence after doing a serious art piece to
make oneself feel...rrrrrrrr.....yay...ya. so....

i do not know who was on me before and after and what anyone did so i don't know if my piece was just a round peg in a square hole. i don't even know what my soundpiece is anymore.
i hope someone got what i was trying to say.

i wasn't about to throw mardis gras beads on myself and do a "girls gone wild" thing.
not when people's mother's corpses are still buried under rubble there.
i just couldn't bring myself to do something like that.

i wonder who the crowd was. people who had lived there all their lives?
tourists looking for a thrill?
a bit of both?
mostly black , mostly white? a mix?
i wish i knew so i had some way to gauge what i just did.

i know what i said was good.
and i know mardis gras and jazz are things of the human spirit which can uplift out of darkness.
but what i was trying to point out is if you don't listen to the LAND and pay attention to it, then you're basically fucked.
there can be no mardis gras if a flood happened again.
no one listens to the land anymore.
they just try to ignore it conquer it.

if you don't listen to the earth spirit, you can kiss your human spirit goodbye.
that is just the way of it.
no amount of festivities is going to change this very vital and crucial fact.

and you can't wait around anymore and think the government is going to do it for you.

10:09pm

extra pix:

9:27pm

here is what i wrote, which is kind of intense.
i hope no one there was upset about it:

hello loving louisiana
from a small woman on the north star

i light candles for your dead
and living with your difficult task
before you

your state motto is:
Union, Justice, and Confidence

your state flag depicts
a pelican pecking it's own breast
to draw blood to feed it's young

as you know,
the time is now
to stop listening to jibberish

and reclaim your power
and your land
away from the government

dear caretakers of the south
you hold your land sacred

hold it closer still
and listen to it's voice

now is the time
to reclaim your power

you hold the keys
to the mouth of this land

you hold the keys
you are all so very precious
do not forget

new orleans, caretakers
filled with magic and light

you are the mouth
which feeds us all

your power does not come
from mardis gras or jazz

your power comes from
the land which sustains you

the land is your mother
pecking it's breast

go now, find your corpses
and bury them.
no one will do it for you

union, justice and confidence

 

i screwed up on the text there and wrote "you are the mouth that feeds us al"
instead of "all".
so, Al, maybe you were in the audience, thanks for feeding us AL :)
sheesh. what a stupid mistake.
joba tho, just joba. what can you do?

9:19pm

wow, that was a very hard show to do.
whizzing putting up text, lighting candles, i could not even pose in between shots.
it was just hard enough to get candles lit and put the text up every 20 seconds.
i'll get the pictures up here soon.
i don't know if they received the last 2 pictures.
because i told the tech guy their would be 18 but there was 20
so i do not know if my last 2 lines were delivered or not.
arrrgh.
anyway..what's done is done.
god that was a nervewracking show to do.

 

7:20pm

so they can get connected to the net down in new orleans via wireless.
and so my show will be around 9pm CST, approx.
i still don't know what i am going to do really.
for all of the other shows i knew what i was and for this one i am just mystified.
i better come with with something PRONTO.
i'm making a bath.

2:52pm

http://www.kinghussein.gov.jo/

recent arab investments in usa and canada

hilariously enough i have the song "getting to know you" stuck in my head.
and what song is that from? it's from the King and I.
:)

it's funny how the president announced as his last speech that we were going to stop our independence on foreign oil and then within weeks we sell the control of our major ports to those who we were seeking "independence" from.

hmmmm.

who owns who and what is going on?
again, i suggest, look back to the queen of england's coat of arms, america's coat of arms and jordan's coat of arms.
listen to the anthems, not just the words but the melodies.
notice that jordan's is very "english" sounding.

look at the connections between judah, jordan, the davidic line,
and all of these things.

see the game that is being played throughout all of these thousands of years, if you'd like to.
and free yourself from the republicans vs. the democrats or any political party.
free yourself from thinking even about country vs. country.
islam vs. christianity.
all of those things are meaningless when it comes to what is really going on.
they are just smoke and mirrors to keep you occupied.
who is occupying who?

i suggest you look into who owns what land. and who is building what where. and WHY.

did you think that all of the middle east was just going to sit happily by as bush announced that we will not pay them anymore for their oil after so and so many years?
an is it really even about oil at all?
no, not really, because if it was the people in the middle east would be FREAKING OUT right about now at bush's "plan" to wean america off it's "addiction" to oil from "foreign" countries.
are they freaking out? why not? isn't america their biggest customer? wouldn't this mean a MAJOR economic loss for that entire region? you think bush, a man who "comes from oil" is going to just announce all of a sudden that we are going to switch over to a new form of energy and this is just going to be a-ok for everyone?
but no one seems to be freaking about about this MASSIVE loss in a multibillion dollar business.
WHY is that?
don't you think that is a little ODD?

you think this about islam, christianity, oil, or "keeping our borders safe"?

doesn't EVERYTHING factual that is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW kind of point in the direction that there MIGHT be something ELSE going on here?

anyway...no one is going to listen to me or check this shit out.
but just in case, i thought i'd mention it.

oh, also look at virginia's state seal.
and why it is called virginia.
and why are they saying the state is named after the queen of england who they say is called "the great virgin"?

weren't we trying to get AWAY from england when we came here?
wasn't this supposed to be a place of independence?
was is the queen of enlgand then depicted as some sort of athena/diana/hecate goddess crushing some sort of giant man, with one breast exposed?

don't you think that is a little WEIRD?

and yes, it seems like ALL of these things have NOTHING to do with each other and it's all so arbitruary and so uch that who really is going to question it?

who really has the TIME?

anyway, it made me remember just now that i had a dream a few night's ago that america was completely destroyed.
everyone was just wandering around, trying to find a place to survive.
everything was up for grabs, it was lawlessness.
because these people had come and taken over who were worshippers of the goddess diana. their symbols was a blue crescent moon, turned to the left. like the opposite of a C.
they also had overly large heads although they did not look alien, except for that part of them did.

i mentioned to them that if they wanted to include in their new newspaper (since getting propoganda out id the 1st "rule of thumb") that they might want to keep in a "dear abby" section of their newspaper. because people were going to need advice and no one knew what to do or even what hit them or why.
and these new "conquerers" weren't really paying attention or caring to pay attention to the havoc that was all around them.
i said "you are probably going to want to put in one of your advice columns, some information about how to plant seeds and then when to harvest them, because everyone has forgotten how to do that"
and they were very happy that i told them this very good idea.
not that they really cared about anyone or anything except that now they "ruled" the land and they were very busy hanging their new blue moon flag everywhere (that was their 1st order of business of utmost importance).
but after they had flown their flags everwhere and made their
"rulingness" known, then they would probably get around to putting in a little advice column to those who were still alive that like "oh, ya, here is how to plant seeds and how and when to harvest them"
because , you know, it's good to know that the pets you have left know how to fend for themselves a little. like know where and when to pee and stuff.
it comes in helpful to those who rule not to have to think about little things like that all of the time.

you know, and like yesterday, on oprah. there is still no major cleanup. there are still thousands of bodies unaccounted for.
there are hundreds of trailers sitting empty and unused while people are living in houses with no roofs and shitting into buckets.
and you ask the people what are they going to do?
and they just have blank stares and say "i don't know".
so they just sit there. in the filth and squalor and death and they've just been sitting their for months waiting for some sort of "official announcement" of what to do.

let me tell you folks, there is no official announcement coming.
no one is in charge of that operation because no one CARES.
the agenda was to kill off and disperse that area.
maybe because it is one of "america's" biggest ports.
that you know who is going to come in and "control" later on.

all we are are fleas, rats and barnacles to these people.
i don't know why more people are not putting this together.
the "new world order" has erected plaques and statues GALORE all over the frickin place pretty much announcing in STONE that they want to get the population down to something like 500,000.

i don't know why everyone just wants to laugh and go "oh, boys will be boys, you know! they are just having fun prancing around in their silly costumes in bohemian grove making sacrifices to a giant stone owl! haha! boys will be boys!"

people are in major denial maybe because they have a major death wish?
i don't know, but it seems to me that they mean business.
just go look at colorado's state seal which declares "nothing without the deity"

"the deity"??

such and such "deity" may not even exist. it doesn't even matter.
the thing is shit is going down because of this and everyone just seems to want to dismiss is as a bunch of "conspiracy" jibberish.
as if they word "conspiracy" was the new code word for "do not pay attention to this".

how is it a conspiracy to read that the united arab emirates are about to take CONTROL of our major ports? (as if they haven't already, they are just making it "official" now) and say...hmmmm!
didn't all the terrorists from 9-11 come from there? (allegedly).
isn't that bin laden's country?
(which he was exiled from and whom we funded)

when "al-quada" is interviewed on frontline and someone points out that they have saudi accents when they speak...doesn't that make anyone go hmmmm!

and god, forget about throwing the racism card around to make anyone shut up about it. as if.

i am not talking about "everyone from the middle east is a terrorist and they are all out to get us"

hardly. most of them are just getting by like we all are.

i'm not talking about 'the people" of any country.
i'm talking about the new world order.
which has announced itself over and over and over and over and over again.

leaders from all countries.
the U.N.
all you have to do is read the transcipts from things.
it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.
go look at the "pomp" that happens to crown the queen of england.

just go google : queen england judah

go read about the coronation ceremony.

http://www.oremus.org/liturgy/coronation/cor1953b.html

And as Solomon was anointed king
by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet,
so be thou anointed, blessed, and consecrated Queen
over the Peoples, whom the Lord thy God
hath given thee to rule and govern...

who in the freak of "zadok the priest"?

go research that and see how it brings you right back to Zoraster or Thoth.

and i'm not saying "oh my god! they are not really christians and therefore should not rule!" (although they actually AREN'T christians, and indeed, how things are looking on our planet right now, perhaps they shouldn't rule. hey...just a thought.)

i'm just saying if you trace EVERYTHING that is going on right now it will continually bring you back to zoraster, athena, diana, babylon, judah, king david and the davidic line (which is supposedly the bloodline of christ). over and over and over again.
without fail. ALL of it will ALWAYS go back to that.

take the end of the string and follow where it ends.
take any end or any beginning and over and over...
boom...right back to there.

what does it mean?
heck if i know!
but it CERTAINLY has NOTHING to do with ANY of the world's major religions, oil, countries, or political parties or any of that.

what i want to say it's about, at the top of my head is it's about resurrection. life everlasting.
becoming a god through some sort of purification.
power, control, and energy.
and blood and land.

it's about our death wish and our wish for everlasting life.
it's about us struggling and crashing against each other to see where our edges are. to see if there are any boundaries at all.
form and matter
void and chaos
meaning and order
seeing how far all of these things will go.
feeling justified in any action will leads to a new place whether that place be good or bad.
it's about forgetting and remembering
who am i? will i be forgotten? can i be destroyed?
how much space am i allowed to "inhabit"?
where are my edges, where do i end and you begin?
who are you? why are you not me?
why am i not you?
am i important? is anything important?
what things are more important than others?
which things will be forgotten and lost and which things will be remembered cherished, even exhalted?

the king is dead, long live the king.

ok, i have babbled enough now.
for those of you who actually made it through this without rolling your eyes even once, i commend you :)


i guess in the end...what does it even matter?
and maybe that is the question trying to be answered.

actually, i say "bring it on"
united arab thingamajigs.
welcome to here. welcome to now.
i existed before you did and i will exist after.
have fun with the ports.

oh and p.s.
the question on everyone's mind who even puts their toe into this pool of thought eventually always says
"but why would they want to destroy america?"
"why would anyone want to destroy their own country?"
it's NOT because "they are jealous of our freedom" that is a load of bullshit if ever i did hear it.
well, for ONE thing why WOULDN'T they (the new world order) want to destroy america?
a crapload of us are living high off the hog here, using up all the world's recources, and we don't give a shit, for ONE.
for TWO, because they CAN. it's FUN for them. let's just admit it, their sadists and they LOVE to destroy stuff!
it makes them feel powerful and shiny. wouldn't you, if you were out of your minds in lust with absolute power want to be the one who "brought down rome"?
then for SURE you'd never be forgotten , right?
we sure remember hitler , don't we? even caesar or napoleon.
what greedy sadistic narcissist wouldn't want to go down in history as being even MORE powerful and notorious?
plus if you can make money FROM death, why not go all out and have world war 3?
heck, they've all got underground bunkers with easy chairs and 20 years worth of stocked up food and water by now.
why NOT kill off all our lazy complecent asses so they have more room when they come up for air?
you ever see the star trek episode "the trouble with tribbles"?
we're the tribbles. we were fun and cute and until we multiplied a bit too much and now we've got to be killed off.
you don't have to be a brain surgeon to understand this.
they are out of their fucking minds on POWER and they just want to see how far they can take this thing, because what else is there for them to do?
who is keeping them in check? not our complacent doughnut eating glued to the tv gotta pay my mortage bill breeding multiplying cell phone talking asses.
our attention spans are so minimal now that it's beyond ridiculous.
who WOULDN'T want to kill us off if you were a crazy nut job with too much money and too many underground bunkers raised and primped from an early age that you have the DIVINE RIGHT to do whatever you like to "your minions" because your bloodline somehow traces back to jesus christ and this makes you some sort of god of gods in which to do with the earth whatever you damn well please.
puh-leez. talk about dysfunctional.
and we think THEY have it together because they have all the money and the toys and the shiny pretty things so they must be doing something right so if we just try to emulate them with a hummer and some bling then we must be doing alright?
heil hitler , glory be to the highest?
wake UP.
either that or have a big BBQ , because it's going to be your last one very soon.

no one is going to be transporting you fig newtons on ethenol planes at a low walmart cost for you.
surely not the united arab emirates. if "our" government doesn't even care about new orleans or getting anyone fresh water you think some overseas corporate company will care? do you really think they are going to do a good job because they all take pride in their work and so they are just going to make sure we all still get our papayas and olives and fancy toys shipped to us with the utmost efficiency and ease? is that what you think they are going to be doing?

this is it. this is as bloated as the pig gets before it explodes.

hurrah hurrah. and what a fine spectacle it will be. yes?

like the rockets red glare? the bombs bursting in air?
gave proof through the night that our flag was...uh...a different colour than it was yesterday and 1/2 of my family has died and ...oh well!

too busy talking on the cell phone!
it was good while it lasted, right?

12:12pm

according to my astrology, things are opposing my ruling planet right now and so i am supposed to just "bend like a willow" in the face of it right now and not try to make things go "my way".
*sigh*
i hate it when it is like that. but it feels exactly like that.
and i succumb and just wait for this time to pass.

i SHOULD go to the bank today so that is off my mind and that would be good for me to get outside and walk.
i wonder if i will do it?

tonight the show in new orleans.
i don't know what i will do.
i guess i cannot think of anything powerful enough in the face of hurricane katrina to be of much use to either the people who want to get their mind off of it or want to heal fro it and want ti acknowledged.
i don't know if i can do either one, so i suppose i will just do what i do for new orleans as i would any other place i go to.
because that's all i can do.

pooka is asleep on my bed right now and he's so cute it hurts.
he is always so cute it hurts but especially so right now.
i don't even know how he can exist, he is such a good creature, such a being of light and pure goodness.
he has the bending like a willow thing down.
he is a zen god.

y house is a frickiing mess.
i need to clean like the wind.
i wish a zap of energy would come forth from the sky and illuminate me with wonder, excitement, and the power to move walls, but alas...i must just bend like the willow in the face of the waves crashing over me right now and remember to take a breath of air everytime my head is exposed to the air so that when i go under the wave again, i have enough oxygen to sustain me.

it's just one of those one step at a time days.
i don't understand how soe days i can feel like everything is clicking and i know exactly what to do and why.
and other days i feel like i am lost at sea, drifting with the currents not knowing where i am going.
why is it this way?

how do i go from happy to sad?
from feeling everything is alright and perfectly good to feeling completely out of control?
what were the wheels in motion that set this off?
how did i get from point a to point b?
i try to retrace my steps and it all seems like a foggy dream i cannot put my finger on.

i definitelty want at least one more session with yuliya, but she is gone for a week now.
then i can get to point c, hopefully.

my dreams were all intense and elaborate, as usual. but i cannot remember the now.
it feels like i am always trying to build some sort of house in my dreams lately. from rubble.
like a hurricane katrina victim trying to sort out the mess and reconfigure where i am and what can be done and picking up pieces of stone and brick to make a house.
clearing away land. taking branches and weaving them for a roof.

i need to get all these wires off my floor.
i need to vacuum.
i need some major feng shui action in all areas of my life.
i need to get back on track and i will.

maybe i am being too hard on myself.
i have managed to put on a bunch of shows and continue on that.
yesterday i almost finished 2 hats.
i've managed to keep things basically running in my house.
i have managed to not go completely insane.
i have delved deep into the depths of my psyche and restructured and degramented myself.
i keep a vigilant awareness of my energy and others in order to clarify and separate and keep afloat and understand how it all works.
i have managed to not get into any political rantings about a saudi company taking over all the major ports of america, and what this really means. i don't understand why people aren't rioting about it.
yes, i am staying afloat and paying my bills.
just want to make enough money so that i can then concentrate on my movie and my music.
still keeping short terms goals and long term goals.
taking one step at a time.
i'm doing alright.

if i can just get my house and body back in order.
get back on the feng shui thing.
do more excercise.
get rid of more things.
get my frigging taxes done.
vacuum the floor.
then...things will be ok.
things are ok now.
everything is ok.

i will walk to the bank and deposit some cheques.
one from my dad for the psychologist and one from kat for the hat.
pay my electric bill.
get ready for my show tonight.

 

+++

The two tracks mixed together
that goes with my cam shows for SWAS:

http://www.anacam.com/swas/anavoog.mp3

Individual tracks:
http://www.anacam.com/swas/music.mp3
http://www.anacam.com/swas/talking.mp3

+++

Horoscope for Aries (February 22 2006)

If there is anything lacking in your life at the moment it's a sense of fun! You've had a couple of rough and demanding days, so now's the time to redress the balance with some activities that you enjoy! A massage will help ease the stress, and an evening of bowling or dancing will benefit you enormously.

and

Daydreaming
Valid during several weeks: This influence stimulates your creative imagination and makes you much more sensitive than usual to aspects of the world around you. While you may be tempted to spend the day daydreaming, you will probably be more satisfied if you read romantic literature and poetry or listen to music. This is a good day for leaving the humdrum, everyday world and traveling in your mind to a fanciful and pleasantly unreal world. Don't worry about wasting time. Everyone needs to fantasize like this from time to time, and you are not likely to get so caught up in it that you cannot return to reality. On the other hand, you are much more sensitive to subtleties and can catch other people's moods effortlessly. Your attitude is very sympathetic, and you genuinely want to aid anyone who needs your help today.


The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Mercury Trine Neptune exact at 01:27
activity period from 21 February 2006 until beginning of April 2006.

and

No matter how high you aim the arrows of your intention, they can inadvertently find the wrong target today. Extra attention will surely help, but if you find yourself involved in a dispute, remember that it's not about winning. It's about resolving the disagreement without trying to beat your opponent down. Win-win is surely superior to win-lose.