feb 14th, 2006

happy valentine's day :)

10:29pm

they just called. my performance at UCLA is cancelled tonight because they do not have the techinical abilities to do my part of the show.
i don't understand because this is a massive college.
the tech guy sounded massively bummed and distraught and said "i don't even want to get into it". so i just let him go.
and hopefully i'll find out why some other day.
bummmmmmmmerrrrrrrrrrr.

well farg... i'm just going to make some pretty pix on cam anyway since i started getting everything ready and i may as well make a few!

*sigh sigh sigh*

this is one of the reasons i do not do streaming video with sound.
you'd think that the technology was there by now to do this.
the commercials on tv make it seem like you can (do streaming video with sound to limitless amounts of people anytime, anywhere).
but...unless you have money like laurie anderson or U2..it seems you just can't.

i hope i live to see the day when technlogy catches up to where my brain is.

i guess i am just happy the internet exists at all.
but still...just...you know? it's frustrating.
sometimes i feel like i was born in the wrong time.
but other times i just laugh at the "quaintness" of it all.
i feel like i am million years in the future come back to play with some old train tracks made of steel.
there is a quaintness to it.
i have to remember that.

and how i coming to know that anacam is about slowing things down, not speeding things up. even tho i am using a "fast" medium.
i wish to slow peopel down to take in the little moments.
because the little moments are all we have, quite literally.

i've come back to this time to slow myself down.
and speed myself up simultaeously.
always with the paradox. the opposites.
yadda yadda.

i'm going to go take a xanax and lay in the xmas tree lights.

last night i was dreaming about coils. springs...i wish i could remember more.

 

10:05pm

i am finally digesting all the creme brulee i ate.
(did i spell that correctly?)
i am very sleepy.
i have laughed and gave my man a massage with toasted sesame oil.
but with the phone plugged in and checking my email to see if there is any word from anyone about what time i am on.
jason is sleeping in my bed and i'm playing Air.
and now must get ready for a show, which i think will be quite like the one last night as i haven't had the time to think up something completely new. tomorrow i will experiment with the hall of mirrors technique.
must somehow snap myself into "show mode" although all the food i ate, ambient lighting and mellow music and sleeping puppies and man are lulling me to make a nest for the night.

very cool article:

http://supernaturale.com/articles.html?id=166

8:20pm

i am STUFFED!
a had a scallop that was in a pear marinated in red wine.
with a cream sauce. very interesting!
had creme brulee afterwards, too.
i am just puffed out.
maybe i will have to wear a corset for this show :)
actually i do not even know if i am allowed to be nude tonight.
some places we arew going there can't be nudity.

ahhhh, i needed this soooo much!
look at this kind thing earthlog wrote!
it makes me feel soooo much better to at least know that some people there are not bored out of their skulls as to what i am doing (because i just have no way of knowing)
but here is her review of the show:

The Sex Workers Art Show, Café du Nord, San Francisco, Monday, February 13, 2006.

Sometimes, in this strange, cold world, we find havens of openness, acceptance, and debauchery: loving, enfolding enclosures of it's OK to laugh nervously, it's OK to gawk, it's OK to applaud the power & uniqueness of each "whore," as you cry inside for him/her.

And artists flourish brilliantly within us all: glorious spoken words, stinging movement, a raucous Colonel Sanders strip-tease, and a heart-churning gospel of queer reality.

When Ana Voog virtually took the stage, people were curious, even transfixed. Some, like me, knew her already. Others were ready, like the beautiful creature (the wise, approachable, sophisticated, and tired possibility) sitting beside me, who was rapt with attention because I told her so and then she saw and believed: Ana is a goddess.

We were suddenly wrapped in "another time dimension." Swirls of little voices, exotic alien animal shrieks, and bubbling consciousness filled the room. Ana was all around us, slipping from here to that corner. The altered directions of sound were a thoughtful touch and the only way to truly fill a room. Amber photos and words glazed the screen elegantly and refreshed faster than I expected. Photos of beauty, subservience, vengeance, sensuality, boobs getting “better reception,” and raw Shakti-Shiva energy confused some. The ones in the front were silent and hypnotized. Others in the back became chatty and fidgety... but we knew. The mesmerizing wisdom continued with the next acts, but Ana was truly the star.

more here:
http://earthlog.livejournal.com/24643.html

4:29pm

i got another big mirror that they were just going to throw out here. yay :)
maybe i can set it up so i can get that infinity look going for tonight's show. mirrors within mirrors?

i have to get dressed now to go out to dinner!
it's cold and grey here and i am so sleepy.
i am going to order coffee 1st thing.

lionbrand just wrote me back and told me it takes 30 days for invoices to be "processed".
WTF?
good deal i barely scraped enough for rent this month without it!
but gah! i need that money NOW.
why would it take 30 days to write a cheque?
that doesn't even make sense.
but at least i know it's not lost in the mail or something!

3:23pm

full set from last night's show in yesterday's anagram :)

jason bought me a dozen red roses :)
and he's taking me to a french restaurant at 5pm :)
then snuggling and maybe a movie and

then i have my show at UCLA in california!
(although i, oddly, cannot find any mention of it on their website!)
i will go on earlier tonight because last night's started at 9pm (california time) and tonight's starts at 7:30pm (cal time).

i still haven't received my cheque from lionbrand even tho they said they were processing it on feb 1st. grrr.
i really hope it is in my mailbox today!
i wrote them an email asking them what's up about that.

+++

The two tracks mixed together
that goes with my cam shows for SWAS:

http://www.anacam.com/swas/anavoog.mp3

Individual tracks:
http://www.anacam.com/swas/music.mp3
http://www.anacam.com/swas/talking.mp3

+++

Horoscope for Aries (February 14 2006)


Fortunately for you that rather forceful negative influence that affected your mood yesterday will disappear, which means that you'll be in a much better mood today. Valentine's Day is likely to go without a hitch, as long as you don't bend over backwards to please someone too much.

and

Intensity of feeling
Weak, transient effect: Today during the day you feel a desire for strong emotional contact with others. You want to be involved in relationships at this time, and you don't care whether or not they are perfectly smooth. What is important to you now is the intensity of feeling and the interchange with another person. For this reason, relations with loved ones can be either smooth or rough with this influence. In fact, they are usually good, but if you are feeling negative for some other reason, this influence will not improve matters. On the other hand, even discordant contact with a loved one is likely to do more good than harm now, because it releases hidden tensions so that afterward you can feel better about each other. You should use this time to learn something about your relationships and your attitudes toward them.

and

Sweet pleasures may be like ripe fruit during harvest season. It's everywhere you look, yet you might not have the satisfaction of being able to pick the one you prefer. You are easily distracted now by too many possibilities. Consider making an extra effort to convince someone special that you are worth it.