feb 9th, 2006
past anagrams	menu	utb

The two tracks mixed together:
http://www.anacam.com/swas/anavoog.mp3

Individual tracks:
http://www.anacam.com/swas/music.mp3
http://www.anacam.com/swas/talking.mp3

		save 58%

 

+++

an interview i did for the olympian (olympia, washington)

-How did you initially decide to do the Webcam? (I've read the FAQ, but I'm
looking for a little more. Like, did someone suggest it? Did you see/hear
of another Webcam site and realize the artistic possibilities?)

the idea of having a webcam was presented to me when i came across jennifer ringley's webcam, jennicam.org (now gone). she was the 1st do have a cam in the home in a "zoo-like" setting. that is the way she described it and her intent. to not pay attention to the cam and forget it was there and be a human zoo animal, like netscape's fishcam (i think that might still be around?).

i admit, i did not entirely grasp it's appeal until a few weeks later when it dawned on me (when i was STARVING and DYING and selling belongings to eat ramen), aha! dang, i can reach "infinite" amounts of people WORLDWIDE from the comfort of my own home via this medium!
i was then stuck on my 2nd major label (the 1st being columbia the 2nd being MCA), a recording artist of 11 years in an all female band called The Blue Up? (the question mark part of the name, of how clever, forgive me i came up with the name at 17 years old!). long story short, they would not release my record because i used my advance money to get a boob job (at age 30 after debating the pros and cons for over a decade, and then said fuck it, i want to know what it's like to have huge fake breasts in a bullet bra before i die. (kind of like skydiving).
a product of my environment? definitely, in retrospect. do i wish i could undo it? no way.
my boobs crack me up very day. like my dogs. everyday to my boobs and my dogs i say "how can this be possible? i love you! hilarious!" anyway, to get back to the point...ummm....i suck at making points. let me just say i got off that dumb ass label which was trying to box me in and...holy god this is such a long story you need to have a special section just for the story about my boobs. that is how ridiculous this all is. and that pretty much says it all doesn't it? when it comes to the point that a newspaper needs a special section just to explain the political, personal and sociological ramifications of why some girl from the midwest got some boobs and started a cam (NOT related incidences, btw...seriously just...zeitgeist? haha i finally get to use that word ONCE in an interview. score!). ok, ya, i realized the artistic possibilities. but i also needed to pay the rent, too!
every artists struggle. yadda yadda ya. sorry i go off on tangents. be glad this isn't a phone interview!
this is why i say email. i am a freaking spaz. but ya, i love my cam! i have now the longest running homecam on the net! totally weird. i never thought i'd be doing it this long. but then i never imagined myself at 40 crocheting hats either. what the hell? so i started my cam so that i could communicate with a worldwide audience and still be the hermit recluse that i am.

-What is the most interesting reaction you've had to the site?

i think by that you might mean the weirdest reaction (judging from past interviews over the years). and there are a lot of interesting reactions. from people who just want you to show your feet or screw balloons or pretend you a missing a leg. but for ME the most INTERESTING reaction i have had (which is also quite sad) is that i did not expect that the more information i give out about myself the more it is be warped, misconstrued, misinterpreted.
i really did think that the more EXACT i was about giving out information the more people would "get the "truth" about me. and that is just not the case. the more information i give out the more people project themselves upon that. that has been a real eye opener for me. i did not expect that. people believe want they want to believe, and se what they want to see. people will always interject their interpretation of themselves unto what is being presented them no matter how exact. i thought my can would be about me but it is nothing about me and everything about the viewer.
i suppose in the darkest sense the most interesting reaction to my cam was that of my mother, which was so harsh that i ended up getting a restraining order on her about it. life is brutal like that.

-Do people recognize you in the grocery store or things like that?

sometimes. but i have moved to a kind of weird remote location so that does not happen as often now :)
i have a good balance between "fame" and "anonymity" which is in my comfort zone for now.

-How many people have visited the site, do you know? How many subscribers
do you have to Ana2?

this is always an uncomfortable question for me because it is asking me how much worth or value do i have or what i do measured in "hits" or "dollars". maybe this is not really what you are asking or your intent. but after being asked this question for ever a decade this is my take on it and i am slightly tipsy so i am just being perfectly honest about my feelings towards this question. how many people are REALLY interested in what i do and how does this translate into my survival as an artist? because, really deep down, what you are asking is, "could wonder could anyone do this?". the answer is YES, anyone can do this. anyone can plug a webcam and do this. but can you do it for almost a decade? are you willing to age in front of everyone? hate mail by the thousands telling you what a whore you are. getting a restraining order on your mother. having half of your family disown you. dealing with the problems this brings up about having a boyfriend, having a child getting married. in every country, time zone, belief system, ethics, morlas, cultural societal things. are you preapared to deal with that day and and day out? you have to know what your center is. and it's hard to remain centered when so many thousands of people are projecting upon you.
it's crucial. you cannot do this kind of work and remain centered without being a little "off center" at the beginning or at "the end"
how many?
i don't know, seriously, in all accuracy and truthfulness, at the height of it all "during the movie "the truman show" , when i was on "hard copy and all that, my server could not even handle that stats page and broke at 10 million a day. so i never will know. right now, in all truthfulness, i have 82 paying members to ana2, at this very hour. at it's height i had maybe around 800. still arounf 10,000 visit my site daily. but this is all very complicated. money is really everyone's hang up more than sex is. i have had more freaked out sessions with people about the money i make than what "naughty bits" i show on cam. i could talk about this for hours. but you mix sex and money and it's more implosive than anything i have ever witnessed. i'm not trying to be flippant or coy or clever or cynical. you just mix sex with money and people go nuts.

-Have you done a live scheduled Webcam performance like you'll be doing for
the Sex Workers Art Show before? Do you know what in particular you might
be doing during the shows, or are you just committed to being before the
camera at that time and leaving the rest up to chance?

yes, i have. i just did a live cam performance for the debut of the documentary i am in called "webcam girls"
go to: http://www.anacam.com/
download it online!
and i did one for the showing of this documentary in australia.
i have also done a performance via my cam for the walker art center here, and also the museum of modern art in new york city displayed my cam. and sometimes i will do live cam performances for special occasions like on my birthday and anacam's "birthdays". when i do a scheduled performance i will ahve an "outline" of what i will so and then i leave the rest up to how i feel within that moment. i do not like to plan too much because i like things to be as "real" as possible and leave room for anything that might want to "come through" that day.
for the sex worker's art show, this will be the very 2st time i actually "tour" with my cam and have a scheduled performance for 27 days in a row! i look forward to the challenge and i am so very honoured to be a part of it!

-How did you get involved with the Sex Workers Art Show? (And how are you a
sex worker? I mean, I see your site includes some sexy pictures, but is
there something else I'm missing?)

well, first of all, i must ask, are you a member of ana2.com?
because if you are not then you are missing 99% of everything. i had to make it that way after i got the restraining order on my mother, to be perfectly honest. and my dad is a minister. and so is my stepdad. and so there you have it. but before i had my cam i was a stripper for a year to finance my 1st record. and 1/2 my shows i played in my band i would do topless just because i believe everyone should get "over" females being topless. not that breasts aren't sexy, they certainly are., but when it's 90 degrees outside with 80% humidity like it is in minnesota summers, that dammit, i should be able to walk down the street without passing out from the heat. i don't see much difference, philosophically, between women being forced to wear a burkah in the middle east and women being forced to wear a top in the midwest. it's should be a CHOICE. that is what feminism is to me. that we, as women have a choice about EVERYTHING. and so if me being nude makes me a sex worker in the society i am in in 2006, then so be it, i'll work with it. because anything that gives me and other women a voice to just be more FREE is a step in the right dirtection. everyone should own their own bodies, PERIOD. it should be my choice to wear what i want to wear or not wear. i know this gets into shaky territory but we need to go there. i am talking about in your own SPACE what you get to do. what is SPACE? what qualifies as
"your own space"? even the government gets to wiretap your phone now. what is space anyway? there is a lot to think about and be questioned.
but yes, to get back to your question, i have done thing *I* would consider to be porn. but it's all in ana2. but then some people think anything that is just NUDE is porn. you know? for ME nudity does NOT equal sex at all times. but for some people it does. it's a tricky question. it's like trying to define truth, beauty or art. everyone has their own ideas of where that line is to be drawn.

-How has doing the site affected your life? Is your whole life basically an
art project now?

that is too large a question to even be answered in any succinct way.
and yes, my entire life is an art project and always has been :)
my site has effected all aspects of my life.
it IS my life but at the same time it is NOT my life. because it is just PHOTOS of my life, not my life, itself.
it's a very long discusion to go into, but i will spare you the verbosity on that one.
sorry i am such a spaz today.
it's just where i am at right now! :)
i've had a weird last few days.

+++

Horoscope for Aries (February 9 2006)

As one negative aspect influencing your ruling planet moves out another lesser one moves in! You're certainly experiencing a challenging time at the moment. The lack of focus and concentration will go, which will make work or school easier, but you'll feel at odds with yourself today. Ride it out, it will pass.

and

Taking a stand
Very likely you will have to convince someone of something today. This will probably not be an argument, but rather a situation in which you have to present your case with vigor and energy. But if someone tries to talk you into something, you will defend your own position vehemently and successfully. This influence is not as argumentative as it sounds. People will not see you as spoiling for a fight, nor will they be particularly likely to pick a fight. Instead they will respect you for taking a stand for your own beliefs. Your inner confidence in your ideas and beliefs will help you initiate and take advantage of the opportunities that come your way. Do not be reluctant to use them. Under this influence you should be successful.

and

You may be deceived by your own intensity today as you attempt to get others' cooperation. The problem is that you can easily come on way too strong, inadvertently pushing away the very people you try to draw close. If someone pulls away from you, give them the space they need, rather than forcing the issue