feb 4th, 2006
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time to listen to dreamland and while downloading the new battlestar galactica from itunes.

11:07pm

damn, prince is good. you just CANNOT beat him!(except, the 2nd song wasn't as good)
he is otherworldly. he never ages. he never makes a mistake live.
he is the only person who can sound GREAT on saturday night live.
he just blows me away every time. he is impeccable.
i do wish he would go through another "experimental" stage, tho.

i'm so lucky i've seen him play live as many times as i have.
i seriously could shoot myself over missing the lovesexy tour, tho.
that is tragic i missed that.
and it's tragic that i missed bjork's vespertine tour....but she just didn't play here.

i found out i am about one year older than lili taylor.
she turns 39 this month, jason said.
so i guess i am 10 months older then she is.

oh strange she was born on the exact same day and year of kurt cobain!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000666/bio

and she owns a black pug named gulliver :)

i think i'll go nuke some soup now.

tonight parts of saturday night live were actually even funny.
that is a rarity these days!

10:40pm

the interview with lili taylor was so insightful!
(it was like seeing the actor's studio live, then they would show clips of her work and then discuss them)
and i got her my presents! and i hope she will like at least some of them!
and i asked her a question and my heart was beating like a rabbit!
i will write more later but right now steve martin and prince are on saturday night live and so i have to watch that because of prince.

i'm very happy right now :)

she reminds me so much of ducky. they even have the same little laugh!
they could be sisters, i swear.
and then the way she talks about her characters reminds me a lot of how tori talks about her songs.
it was all extremely fascinating and i'm still digesting it all and it was very helpful for me to hear about her process because it reaffirms mine and... well, i cannot explain it any more right now.
but it was just a very delightful and wonderful experience.
i was lucky to be there :)
jason always takes me to the greatest things.

6:29pm

there are weird things happening outside.
oversized giant lit up blinking shopping cart going down the street with fire trucks and men in cowboy hats shooting guns and it is the saddest parade i have ever seen.
"american woman" is BLASTING which i don't see what that has to do with ANYTHING.
it's completely insane.
it sounds nute out there like it is mardis gras or something.
it's only 18 degrees out there.
the dogs are hiding under my desk panting.
every single siren is going off and here come the drums.

i'm making lili taylor a present.
some frank and meatcake comics, ducky's little zine about cake, vera little refrigerator magnets, my bear spirit guide book. 3 of my records (from my stash so i hope she likes them! ah!)
some black black gum, and i may give her 1 or 2 hats, i haven't decided.
i need to write her a letter now and explain it all.
i am hoping that afterwards i can go upstage and give it to someone who will give it to her.

3:47pm

i need to do stuff but the bed is calling me to sleep.
i bought a huge thing of incence for only 2 bucks but it doesn't really have a smell. it just smells like smoke.
not unpleasant but not great either.
i think in the spring i will go and plant all several hundred sticks of it into the ground by the river and light them all at once and take pictures of the smoke unfurling all over.
maybe i'll make it in a circle and lay in the middle of it and just sink into the earth while the smoke floats into the sky.
yes, that sounds like a good plan.

listening to elliott smith
it's so bitersweet to listen to it now.
every since he killed himself by stabbing himself with a knife in the heart while SOBER.
that is hardcore.
what a lot of pain he was in.
supposedly he was very abused as a child.
this is world is brutal
i wish i could go back in time and try to save him.
the poor creature.

i'm always trying to save everything.
my strength and weakness.

when i was a child the monarch butterflies would make their migration through my little town of glenville.
there would always be lots of broken butterflies in the flock.
(do you call a load of butterflies a flock?)
i would gather them all up, the ones that could not fly and bring them into my room and feed them sugar water from bottlecaps.
they would not know to put their little curly tongue things into the water so i would very gently unfurl their tiny coiled tongue thing and stick it in the sugar water for them so they would know.
i don't know if that worked or not. but they would keep their tongues in it. so maybe they did like it.

they would hang from my curtains gently opening and closing their wings. it was magical.

but they would always die eventually and i would bury them in the little pastic cases that you got your slides back in from the store when you got the film developed. i would wrap them in velvet and bury them in my little round garden that was mine.

i love monarch butterflies.
i hardly ever see them anymore.

3:16pm

sushi candles and coloured papers from bayarts :)
and the paper with the dragons on i bought today. it was only 1.50.
and i bought the knotted hanging thing. i like it. that was 2.00
then i bought 10 quail eggs for 2.00 because they were so pretty.
i have some silk cocoons fuzzy gave me and i think i will blow out these quail eggs and then i will string the eggs and cocoons together and put on a hat.
and i bought some ooolong tea. i'm really glad i finally found some.
it was torture to be in that place and not buy everything in sight.
like "hot shredded squid" and all that good weird stuff.
i'm so tired i feel like going right back to sleep. i don't know what is up with that.
i had a ton of caffeine and it's sunny. i should be really awake.

jason and i are going to hear lili taylor talk about her acting career tonight.
i look forward to that.
but goshdarnit, i need to make this soundpiece.
tomorrow jason is going to his parent's for dinner and i will have to forgo that as i NEED to make this soundpiece.

i have a few more errands to do and then i think i might take a nap before we go out.

i wish i had 100% energy and i could decorate my house with all this beaitiful colourful paper. i want to hang it everywhere all over my walls.
it's going to be SO pretty in here :)

oh and i bought some "hi-technical" blackjack gum,
how can a gum be "hi-technical"?
are little nano robots inside?
ok, i'm trying it now and i'm sad to find that it is NOT a black licorice gum like the american brand, it is actually tastes EXACTLY like a cough drop. ish.

oh! this gum is NOT called black jack. it's called Black Black.
hilarious

12:07pm

jason wants to go food shopping and so do i.
but i only have $64 in my bank so....
it makes me nervous to spend anything until i have more in there because righ around now is when i get automatically billed for a few things, and i can't remember how much or on what days it happens. but stuff like my credit card billling company and my isp, plus my subscriptions to coast to coast am and unknowncountry.com.
it sucks because he wants to go to this asian food store and i so want to go there because i have never been there and i love all the weird and beautiful asian food, i would want to buy everything just for the packaging alone. so it would be torture to see it all and not be able to buy anything.
plus i need to pay my electricbill. as soon as lionbrand send me my cheque for the crocheting i did for them then all will be ok. i hope that comes in the mail by monday because i need it.
i'm glad i had enough to pay rent yesterday. and i paid my phone bill, too.

i had dreams about building a house, but the material we had to make it was kind of shoddy. like stupid carpeting and white hollow plastic pipes. it would have worked as a temporary shelter. it was fun to try and figure it out.
but it was also stressful. i can't remember any more than that.

ya, i guess i will go food shopping with jason , just to get out of the house.
it will suck to not be able to buy any food. but c'est la vie.

3:35am

+++

Horoscope for Aries (February 4 2006)

Aries people tend to be very impulsive creatures and thanks to the influence of Pluto that trait will be very noticeable today. This will be great for getting things done, but less great if team work is involved. Keep communications open and keep your mood light. Charm and achieve at the same time.

and

Moon in Taurus
We reach the weekend with a vigorous week behind us. Here is a chance to catch up with ourselves. Carving a few pleasant, oh lets say it, meditative hours can rejuvenate for weeks. It's hard work really doing nothing, having the physical, mental and emotional space cleared to actually sink all the way in. For those with issues on the divine, scientific medical research now points to the serotonin and immunity system benefiting from such practice.

Consciously picking smells, sounds, touches and tastes that inspire deeper listening to the inner self can be tweaked and modified to suit the individual. We are lucky to live in a world where the once secret practices of the ancients are available at our fingertips. It's only our dedication and focus that can bring them alive. By using them we keep them alive in the human akashic record, our bodies and being are the repository for this library.

and

No matter how much stress we face today, the Moon is comfortable expressing herself in the stable and sensual sign of Taurus. We feel secure, even as our feelings change, but the cosmos is never simple for the Moon also squares stern Saturn, testing the very foundations that we trust. Mercury the communicator aligns with several planets, over-activating our nervous system. For a laid back Taurus Moon day, we might very well find ourselves spinning more mental wheels than usual.

and

Be extra careful about financial decisions now. You could spend money on something that looks like a sure thing, but turns into a major disappointment. Even if you do your homework, the facts still might not add up to a good deal. Trust your intuition and check your feelings before making any significant purchases.