jan 30th, 2006
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check out these gorgeous photos of a volcano in aslaka that has been erupting for days now.
http://www.avo.alaska.edu/volcanoes/volcimage.php?volcname=Augustine&search_year=2006

even it's ash is beautiful :

our planet is so extraordinary :)

 

10:41pm

 

7:57pm

sent off many letters today containing koolaid and other nonsensical useless things.

5:36pm

well, i'm bummed about my yarn lamp project because as i was wrapping the second skein of yarn around it, all the lights would blink on and off. i guess i should not be surprised as i found the lamp in the trash and one of the lights already does not work, but the other 3 did seem very stable until just now.
so now i am questioning continuing with the project because what is the point if i break the lamp?
so i am wondering if maybe i should just disconnect the entire lamp function of the thing and just use it as a pole for some sort of yarn sculpture "thing".
i'm not sure what to do with it now.
i'm wondering if i could wrap toys around it or dolls. mannequin parts...i just don't know.

 

2:21pm

mouseovers:

ok, i took pictures instead.
and then my server went down.
having server problems today
these flash cards were going to go into the envelopes, that is why i had them out.
but they gave me ideas for my upcoming camshows.
so this is good :)

it's good to reaffirm that if i just follow what it is i naturally want to do (even if it seems unrealted to what i think i "should" do) it will bring me inspiration for what i need.

1:42pm

no, i should work on getting to the p.o.
coffee, bjork, p.o.
i realized on CSI the other day that p.o. also stands for parole officer :)

i didn't send all these letters of i was going to a month ago so i had to go buy them all extra stamps since the price increase. so now i will work on getting all the extra stamps on.
it's sunny out so a good day to go to the p.o.
also good to walk. get fresh air.

1:23pm

coffee. bjork.
gonna work on the yarn lamp.
at least that will get me going.

12:32pm

CHARLENE by bjork

You've got yourself in a fine mess there
Charlene
You're either absolutely mad or you are joking
Charlene

Charlene I'm crying so close to you darling
We're naked and laughing
You shine on my battery Charlene
Charlene, Charlene, Charlene ...

I have always adored your witty mouth
Charlene
Now would you please be very, very rude to them
Charlene

Charlene I'm crying so close to you darling
We're naked and laughing
You shine on my battery Charlene

Let me get you out of that lake
Charlene
Your dress is red and oh so slippery
Charlene

I guess I have to dry you
Dress you and comb you
You're already late
I'll sort you out

Charlene I'm crying so close to you darling
We're naked and laughing
You shine on my battery Charlene

Charlene, Charlene, Charlene....

http://shinybattery.sugarcube.net/specials/charlene.htm

more dreams about murder.
me doing the murdering of some really asshole guy.
he had used and humiliated me and so i decided i would kill him.
he was a heroin addict, so i gave him some heroin and while he was asleep in my bed and blew his head off with a shotgun.
i remember i really wanted his head gone so there was no way he could have an open casket funeral.
but i knew it was going to be very messy so i made sure so completely cover myself in plastic protective gear as i did it.
i wore stilts as i walked around the hosue so i would leave no trace of shoes.
and i wore weights so they could not guess how much i weighed as i was on those stilts.
everything i owned was splattered in blood and so i had to leave everything i owned behind before i went to live my life on the run.
everything i wore i burned before i left, as well.
then i took a shower and made sure to get all my hair out of the drain trap and burn that as well.
and anything else i was unsure about i covered with bleach to compromise the dna.
i thought about just burning the entire house down, but i couldn't bring myself to do it.
i wanted to just take one stuffed animal with me, but i was afraid that one might have a speck of blood on it that i could not see that would connect me to the crime scene. so i was just heartbroken.
as i took away this guy's life i also took away mine.

i watch way too many CSI episodes.
it was an awful dream.
but i guess it was only a small improvement since it was me killing instead of being the one being killed.
if you can call that an improvement.

i wish i would just dream something NICE.
why can't i just dream about rainbows and unicorns?

i hate killing people in my dreams and i hate being killed in my dreams. the guy that busted in my house forever changed me.
i wonder if when i die i will meet up with him and he will explain to me why he did that to me.
i wonder if in some other life i can meet him and he will just explain it and apologize, at least.
i wonder how many more women he did that to before and after me.
i wonder if he was ever caught.
i wonder if he killed the women.
i think he must have.

i can't believe they never even dusted the crime scene for fingerprints.
i think that is one of the reasons i like csi so much.
i wish i could go back in time and be my own csi after that.
i wish i had all that knowledge and would have dusted for fingerprints. figured everything out.
had access to all the data.
caught the guy.
i could have caught him if i were a CSI.
he left evidence everywhere.
fingerprints, bootmarks.
trace fiber.
i should have scratched him so i had his dna under my fingernails.
i guess just thank god i made it out alive.

i now i dream that *I* am the killer.
violence is a virus.

---

i downloaded on itunes the last 4 episodes of battletstar galactica so now i am all vut up with this season and can watch the new ones on the sci fi channel.

i wish i felt inpired today to do something.
but i don't.
i feel like doing nothing.

maybe if i work on putting yarn on that lamp it will spark me into a creative mode.
i need to do something that does not require massive amounts of thinking and digging into my psyche.

 

+++

 

Horoscope for Aries (January 30 2006)

You'll have some great ideas for reforming the way you and those around you do things. Don't be too pushy -- dig in and do the work yourself and everyone else will follow suit. Don't overreact; file it away for the time being.

and

Valid during several months: Be careful that people whom you have to deal with at this time represent themselves truthfully. Others will probably try to deceive you and if they do, the results could be even more discouraging. Don't let your desire to have things your way cloud your ability to see what is really happening, especially with people. At the same time don't become involved in any devious action yourself. You are not likely to be especially lucky at such schemes, and you may not want to face the consequences in the future.

and

It's not that you are throwing in the towel; it's just that you are beginning to look at your future in a different manner. It's certainly not going to be quite what you expected. Pay attention to how your view of the world is changing now, but don't try to put your thoughts into action until later in the week.

and

We start the week on the energy of a new moon. Early in the day we are still in the tail end of Aquarius. This new moon brings us the opportunity to implement fresh ideas and truly revolutionary thinking in our relationships. The first task is to not grip so tight on the way we conceive things to be. Truly by the laws of physics we know that things are not as solid as our senses relate. Later in the day the moon floats through the sign of the fish, psychic energy and sensitivity on a high level.

Now is the time to intuit the true arenas for change. The more you desire the details to shift in your word the deeper you should look in the mirror. For the next few days there is a vision available that isn't judgmental but observational. Maybe a subtle difference but the later involves less ego. Identifying between the two can be a powerful mental advantage for any day, but in Pisces allows us to distinguish those psychic messages that emanate from the group mind.