jan 2nd , 2006

http://itsalllove.com/starry_eyed/starry_eyed.html

i thought fred astaire equalled 60 but he equals 52!
rethinking a lot. learning new things. new numbers introduced.

things off balance as well as they should be.
damn me for trying to make sense of it all, like every scientist who fails. embrace chaos.
still, i take a certain delight and proceed with determination.

but running out of a steam.
time for bed.

chaos = 19, the sun
order = 33, the son

i was surprised by this.

fred astaire = chaos + order (52)

it's mirror 25: truths = 25
(vowels =3, consonants= 22)

makes sense (right now)

chaos loves truth
or
truth loves chaos = 71/8
(my full birth name...4 of cups)

things fall into place?

goodnight! i now have 54 numbers instead of 46.
sorry for the confusion. i am not being succinct.

weaving

i'm trying to find where i read it but can't...but i swear the hopi weave in ONE string that is not symmetrical to their design in order to create "movement".

sorry for being cryptic, it's too much to summarize!


11:28pm

oh gah freaking gah

"all i want is you little girl", according to this calculator, is 107, not 106.
and i came up with so many sentences that equal 106.
FARG.
back to the drawing board.
rrrrr.

10:36pm

oh thank GOD i found an free online downloadable numerology calculator so i can just stick in words and "calculate" and it will tell me the number without having to do it all by hand *whew*
what a time saver.
too bad there are so many different systems of numerology. i'm just going to stick with pythagorean (or whatever that guy was called).
now i can make sure i am calculating correctly!

a bunch of things i did not add correctly at all..
so this is good!

8:19pm

buying nice food cheers me up, too :)
i got hummus, pita bread, yummy cheeses, FRUIT!, potatoes, fresh basil, fresh cilantro, fresh mint, fresh garlic, cracked pepper crackers, olives, sardines, a stuffed chicken, a pomegranate, tomatoes, avocadoes, two 7 day guardian angel candles, a grapefruit, pistachios (not in the shell! huzzah!), dishwashing detergent, clothes detergent, these really cute miniature yellow squash, and a tiny plantthat is green with pink veins and a little vase to stick it in so i have something living (that is a plant) in my bedroom. i sure hope i can keep it alive. i do not have a green thumb, at least for indoor plants.

i am PSYCHED to have such good food and so much of it interesting to take photos of!
happiness happiness happiness.
now i've turned on the oven to roast the chicken because i don't want to put it in the freezer because those things take too long to unthaw.
soon my house will be all warm and smelling good.

and i can wake up tomorrow and eat some frsh fruit (cantaloupe, pinneapple, strawberries, kiwis, and mangoes...already all sliced up!). the fruit was rather expensive but i NEED to eat some fruit or i will go CRAZY!

oh and i bought the time magazine that has bono and bill gates and his wife on the cover as people of the year because that is just TOO WEIRD.

inside is a picture of them all HOLDING HANDS.
how WEIRD is that?
that is damn weird.

bono is one weird dude.
and that is hwy he is starring in my movie as the messianic thingamabob who will give me something i am looking for (which i still don't know what it is...). i guess i'll know what it is when bono gives it to me.

i was thinking he might just give me a GIANT number 4.
or maybe a very tiny one.

or a rock or a "thing".
a thingamajig.
a whirlygig.

so when i was trying to make anagrams from the sentence "all i want is you little girl" and was coming up with nothing very good. i discovered that the sentence adds up to 106 which is "the law of the fortress" which i still cannot find out WHY and what fortress and what law.

but i did accidentally find out 2 other sentnces which equal 106 and those are:

"knowledge thru nothing"
and
"curiouser and curiouser"
"i am the white and black buffalo"

so...there you have it.

i also found some interesting sentences that add up to 108, which is a number on lost and also stands for the 7 delusions of mankind in the hindu religion, i think.

"in through the outdoor" = 108
"knowlege thru confusions" =108
"knowledge through void" = 108
"nowhere 2 go but through"= 108

aren't you glad you know that?

here are some sentences that equal 100:

"knowledges through nonsenses"
"the red anacam procession"
"thee red nut procession"
"the swans in and out of times"

so far, i have 46 numbers which are featured in my movie.
because "40 at portal" = 46/10
of those 46, 10 are mirrors of each other (13-31)
8 are doubled (11, 22, 33, etc)

only ONE number is tripled (well maybe 2) (444)

and then one number is a secret number which is the most important number of all. and that would be the 47th number and 4+7=11, which brings us back to what this entire movie is opposite which is opposites, duality, mirroring, chaos vs. order, and trying to bring all of this to a meeting place in harmony.
(ok, no wait, dammit, i think there will be more than 46 numbers or less. i'm just not all that sure now. it's a puzzle!

so...

ya. la de da , as they say. i'm hyper.

things that equal 40:

potential
harmony
universal
awakening
shechina

cube of keys
pig's eye
the door
hanged man
the heart

anyway...like you care :)
just showing you parts of my movie as it is being processes.
i also have a ton of things which equal 46/10
and 38/11
and 60 and 66.
but i'll spare you.

jason is here.
i think i'll go put the chicken in the oven and the plant in some soil.

6:24pm

this cheers me up:

http://www.style.com/videos/S2006RTW/JNGALLNO_S2006RTW.html

i love john galliona soooooo much.

in 10 minutes i leave to go food shopping.
i better go get ready!

5:39pm

i want to redesign my website based on those weird scientific drawings of plants and animals.
here are some. i want the colours on the things themselves to remain "as is' but i want the backgrounds they are on to be pure white.
i'm not sure what is the easiest way to go about doing that.
and then i want to combine some of these things into new things and draw on them.
here are the ones i have chosen so far that i want.
i want my site to have a really organic surreal feel to it.

and here's more:

and 4 more..
it's really hard to narrow it down.

 

 

 

5:17pm

i feel really depressed today.
jason is off excercising. he is being so good about that.
i need to get back to that. that would improve my mood , i'm sure.
i think i'm overthinking my movie and i need to let go of some of what i want it to be.
i'm still listening to kate bush. hounds of love, the dreaming, the whole story.
i'm trying to just keep cleaning in little bursts here and there.
some of my food went bad.
we are going food shopping later.
i can't wait to have some good food that is not moldy.
i bought this massive hunk of mexican farmer cheese from target the other day to try it and it tastes like "a fridge".
know what i mean? it's totally tasteless except for this "fridge" taste. nasty.
well, this is a rather pointless and boring entry so i'll stop here before it gets even more pointless and boring.
i DID feel a creative surge for about 1 minute today. and then it left...
maybe if i go finish cleaning and then soak in the tub i'll feel better.
i feel clogged. everything feels clogged.
energy needs to move, shift....

3:22pm

some really nice photography here:

http://ball-saal.com/MainPage/Members.php

listening to kate bush's "aerial"

very grey day.

diet coke.
sleeping dogs.
rumbling stomache.

3:04pm

 

2:16pm

+++

Horoscope for Aries (January 2 2006)

Take note: If you want to discuss something important, go the distance and talk in person. You stand a much better chance of getting what you want. Not everyone will agree with you but your point will be well considered.

and

A fair shake
This is a favorable time for all kinds of mental work and communication with others. Now you are able to state your case forcefully before others if you have to. Any mental work requiring a broad overview of the situation is favored. This is also a favorable time for all kinds of group discussions and negotiations, at least from your point of view. Any kind of business negotiation will work out well because you can spell out all the requirements in detail. This is a good day for organizing yourself, another person or a group, again because of the clear-headedness indicated by this influence which will help you balance your own individual ego needs with those of others. They will feel that you are giving them a fair shake.

and

The Moon is visiting eclectic Aquarius today, reminding us that being different from everyone else is important. It's what makes each of us unique, even as we remain connected to others. Whether we are part of a family, a workgroup, a club or a tribe, we need to balance our individual needs with the needs of a larger community. Now, as the Moon travels through this social sign, it conjuncts imaginative Neptune and squares both feisty Mars and expansive Jupiter. Even the least significant events can take on larger importance than necessary.