| december
25th , 2005 |
||
7:40pm
back from my dad's for xmas.
it went well. he liked the jesus action figure very much :)
*whew*
and i gave him 2 other books. one a cookbook and one a coffee table book that
was black and white macrophotography of flowers and he liked those, too :)
everything was low key and good. his house was freezing and i wore a blanket
around myself while i was there but maybe i was just cold because i was sick.
he gave me this great pop up book called "one red dot".
it is sooo coooool. you all have to check it out at a bookstore if you haven't
seen it already. it's one of the coolest pop up books i've ever seen. i love
pop up books and this one makes me want to figure out how to make pop up books
now, again.
like i need another thing to figure out!
i thought about my movie on the drive
up and back.
too much to write down.
rethought some scenes and trying to figure out how to morph one image into
another one the best way.
jason and i are going to watch one more battlestar galactica before he goes
to bed.
it's nice to be home with the dogs. my room smells wonderful from the flowers.
i only had one bad moment today when we were eating apple crisp at the table
after looking through family photos.
and lots of my mother stirred in me what had just happened.
and i thought i was just going to break down and sob at the table but i managed
to path the leak on that before it turned into a massive flood. and i dabbed
myself with the paper napkin with roosters on it and managed to "get
a hold of myself".
just new information i got from my dad (i asked for it, he did not outright
tell me, he at least knows to do that now)
just confirmed how scammed i was in that whole "operation" by my
mom's husband last week on me. and then seeing the pictures of my mom and
i remember how she used to be so nice and how much i miss that part of her.
the sorrow and the anger crumbled in me like the apple crisp and i just about
lost it.
but i didn't. and so all is well.
i'm glad i was feeling well enough to go up and see my dad and we made the
effort to do that.
even tho that little part was conflicting, the rest was really nice.
and he showed me his new old piano and everything was really pleasant.
i got to see the old music sheet i learned some of bach's 32 2 part inventions
on. and dad tried to look in his garage for his beat up old concordance to
give to me, but there were just too many boxes to look through (all the boxed
of his books he had in his shelves in his office at church). i also see he
ahd a box marked greek and hebrew so i told him if he had any books that teach
you greek or hebrew i'll have those, too.
so someday i will get some cool books on that when he has time to look for
them.
dad made a nice dinner. roast beef,
riced potatoes (does anyone except norwegians even own a potato ricer?)
peas, and of course, no meal would be complete without jello salad!
and then my dad tried to explain to me why long ago there was a rift between
the swedes and the norwegians. this rift was brought to my attention at his
retirement ceremenoy as everything kept referencing it.
i guess long ago sweden took over norway and denmark. and swedes were known
for being more "emotional" (if what you mean by emtional is nonemotional
compared to what italians call emotional), for instance, swedes would write
poetry but according to my dad, he could not imagine anyone on his norwegian
side of the familt doing such an emotional thing as "writing poetry".
so when the swedes and norwegians migrated here, there was a rift between
the 2 and they even kept their cemetaries apart from each other. i had no
idea!
i really do not know much about the difference between the 2 cultures, they
are so "mixed" to me because my family is almost exactly 1/2 and
1/2.
now that i think of it it doesn't really make sense that norwegians were seen as a people who would not write poetry or be emotional. my entire mom's side of the family are emotional and do lots of art and stuff. so hmm.
i also found out that my grandma
had a degree in college and that my grandfather had never finished 8th grade.
so my dad always gravitated towards his mom because he was more interested
in learnign higher education and wanted to be more of a city boy and he really
disliked the farm and , well, that is why he did not become a farmer.
and my dad said he never really got to know his dad until the very end. i
never really got to know his dad at all. his dad was soooo quiet. just the
quietest man i have ever known.
maybe i am just reading into his quietness because i can imagine him to be
anything but he really seemed to be very wise to me and that is maybe why
he didn't need to say much.
although there are a lot of people
who are are just smart enough to know that if they stay quiet they will seem
smarter than they really are. and i have met a lot of those.
but i'm going to believe my grandfather was not quiet because he was afraid
of seeming stupid. i think he was just a very quiet man.
but really who knows.
all i really know about him is that he knew a lot about farming, he liked
meat and potatoes, he never really complained except he hated it when grandma
overcooked the green beans, he liked to listen to sport on the am radio and
read the paper.
he called me "sweet patooty" :)
he had kind eyes. and i had 3 dreams about his death.
one dream was to warn me he was dying, one dream i helped him not to be scared
to die, and one dream he came to me after he had died to show me how happy
he was now.
and also i know he liked round rocks because i found one in the barn in a
old coffee can that was perfectly round that he had saved and that is one
of my most prized posessions.
jason is here now and we are going to watch battle star galactica....
more later and merry christmas!
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intriguing images:
11.20.2005
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Horoscope for Aries (December 25 2005)
A big surprise awaits you. Someone loves you a whole lot more than you realize. This is a day to rejoice, be thankful and to let loved ones know how happy you are to spend time with them.
and
Hidden forces
Under this influence it is very important to keep an open mind on all issues
and not become obsessed with one idea or thought. All day you may be preoccupied,
even with a thought that you don't especially care about or that is unimportant
to you. In discussions and conversations, do not try to force your point of
view upon other people, as you may be inclined to do. It may seem to be the
most important thing in the world to make everyone come around to your views,
and your efforts may provoke arguments over matters that you have no real
stake in. On the other hand, if you turn this energy inward into yourself,
you may achieve something of real value. This influence can bring to light
hidden forces, psychological energies within you that could change your life.
and
An unresolved emotion gets caught in your thoughts like a deer in the headlights. It just doesn't want to move. You may be afraid to fully express it, but you cannot just stuff it back into unconsciousness. You will be able to get the energy moving later in the day, so don't stir things up prematurely. There's no need to blurt out your feelings at an inappropriate time. It will go smoother if you wait until you are less uptight.
and
Most of Sunday the moon is void of course, however you do or don't celebrate the HolyDaze try getting light. It takes no effort or extension of yourself to just sit back and critique. Now stepping up and showing how you think the party should get started not that takes some creativity and drive. The best guide would be simplicity, honesty and frivolity. May it wash over is all!