december 12th , 2005
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ok, it's past midnight. i will watch my lost horizon movie now, in a minute.
i was lost thinking and reading all about norse mythology and greek and all cultures. so much!
i think i have learned a lot today!
i will tell you later about odin's eye.
and why i think it all boils down to chaos vs. order...which is silly since they are both 2 sides of the same coin.

i hope i won't be bummed by this movie, it has gotten terrible reviews. but i must revisit it because i loved it so much when i was 7 years old :)

 

9:51pm

how freaking bizarre and annoying!
under the bed was mysteriously erased at 2:52pm!
jaosn cannot figure out why.
i have to find an old copy of it and then email it to him so he can configure it to work with by server, and then it will be uploaded tomorrow.
so...until tomorrow...no "under the bed".
BUMMER!!!!!!

 

8:07pm

yay! i got my Lost Horizon VHS!
now i can see this movie again after 33 years!

8:05pm

gullveig and seid and volva.....

weird! or should i say wryd?

trying to figure it all out and it's very complicated?
who is mirmir and what is her well?
why did odin's eye have to go into the well once he drank from it?
who is this gullveig and what is going on there and how is it she started an entire war?

it's interesting how these stories reflect many other stories from other cultures!
mirmir= medusa= miriam= mary, for one.
loki= lucifer
odin=osiris= "god"?
hooris=horus?

but this seid or seidr! this is the 1st i've heard of it!
and why were men not to practive it? (but odin did in secret anyway)

it's all verrrrrrrry interesting and complicated!

i want to learn most about mirmir, seidr, and gullveig

5:18pm

http://www.solazul.biz/
http://www.solkjok.com/
http://www.solveigkjok.com/

i have always loved the name solveig.
it was my grandmother's name (although she preferred to go by her middle name, and she pretty much rejected her solveig name, which makes total sense to me because of who she was and how she led her life) and a few of my other relatives.
sometimes i think of changing my name to it because i resonate so much with it.
to me it sounds like "solar path" or "soul path"
"the way of light"
there is one guy who named his boat solveig and on his site it does say solveig means "solar path"
which strikes me as the correct way to think of that name.
everywhere else it means house strength, or woman of the house.
maybe if veig means power or strength you could say "solar power"

my full birth name's anagram is "solar only channel"
my 1st name starting with RA, the god of the sun.
so it makes sense i am drawn to the name solveig.
(and i am a triple fire sign)

anyway, this solveig person i have come across here,
we have so much in common in our ways of thinking of things, it's freaking me out!
it's so very cool :) it makes me happy :)
our fascination with orbs, string, etymology, art, the balancing act of life, polarities, anagrams, things forwards and backwards and mirrored, opposites coming together, "light fish"..it makes me happy to find her websites :)

+++

although in icelandic veig means "to drink or thirst"

Gullveig, Gultweig (Icelandic) [from gull gold + veig thirst, drink] The Norse Edda's principal poem, Voluspa, contains a cryptic allusion to Gullveig as "thrice burned, thrice reborn, yet still she lives." Speared by the gods, "thirst for gold" arose each time from her baptism of fire more beautiful than before. She was the cause of the first war in the world when the aesir (creative gods) were ousted from their heavenly abode by the vanir (superior gods), the latter remaining in Asgard.

http://www.theosociety.org/pasadena/etgloss/gn-gz.htm

and now i am fascinated to hear more of this story because it sounds identical to the other stories in almost every culture about the "fallen angels" and this "war" in "heaven"

it continues on at that link:
"Several meanings are possible: thirst for gold may be taken as the thirst for wisdom which causes deities to imbody in worlds, leaving their divine spheres to higher powers. This is reminiscent of the Hindu agnishvattas and kumaras. The thrice purified gold has been identified with manas, the conscious soul (SD 2:520). A more obvious meaning is that thirst for gold represents greed for possessions, and that Gullveig was an enchantress who brought sin into the world and with it the action of karma. "

4:45pm

ok, i'm not going to make it outside today. it's just too damn grey (i rationalize)
dammit i need some discipline in this regard.
i'm listening to gravenhurst.

71, 106, 30

my full birth name adds up to 71/8 (in classic numerology)
this corresponds to the 3 of pentacles in the tarot.
and the Binah in the tree of life.

so today i am learning all about that :)
and it makes a lot of sense in how it relates to my life!

71/8 also has something to do with venus...but i can't find much about that at the moment.
except for just here:
http://kaabapublications.co.uk/REALIZATIONSLIST.htm

also, "all i want is you little girl" = 106 (from my previous post)
and 106 is "the law of the fortress"
whatever that means i have NO idea.

so if anyone has any insight into 106 being the law of the fortress or 71/8 as being the number of venus, please let me know :)

als, it's interesting to note that my 1st birth name, rachael = 30
and ana voog also = 30
:)

30 corresponds to the 4 of wands and Chesed in the tree of life (i know nothing about chesed yet..i'm just taking in Binah today :)

i also did research into the meanings of my parent's names.
i thought that would give me more insight into them and why they are my parents.
and why i am the product of them.
i thought my mom's name would be this really positive thing...and it could be taken that way, if in the right "light".
but her name comes from a greek word meaning "hard outer surface" and "to freeze"
other words coming that root "crust" and "crud"
it seems with her life she has taken on that meaning of her name and not allowed it to be the more positive aspects of the meaning of her name.

my dad's name is perfect for him, being that he is (was) a minister.

2:05pm

i woke up in a good mood. i had a lot of very interesting dreams that revealed to me certain things about the alphabet and also the energy that is created during sex if you pay attention to it.
how very powerful it is and created this amazing vortex of energy that expands like a bubble around the two people and can expand very big and how this is how life is formed.
sex is a lot more sacred to me than it ever has been and is nothing to be "fucked around with", sorry for the terrible pun :)
i mean, it still can be fun and silly, but it should never be taken completely lightly and one should always have great reverence for the power it holds when 2 people come together in that way.
being a woman, this is even more obvious since we can get pregnant and so the physical manifestation of the union will be VERY apparent to us in the biggest and most huge way ever.
i think we need to be more sacred about sex, as a world.
it is just taken way to lightly as if it were as recreational as watching tv or having a candy bar.
it is RE-CREATION and PRO-CREATION and just CREATION, period.
when i look back at my youth a remmeber all the "dingbats" i have let into "my temple"/my body i really just have to cringe in disgust. but i did not know any better.
no one taught me the sacredness of sex except to just ram it down your throat that being a virgin is "good" and "pure"..and beyond that extremely VAGUE statement, nothing more was said about it except that is how babies are made.
i think that is fucked. (sorry for the bad pun again).
it's funny (or not so funny, actually) that i should just start realizing this now to this extent, as i am ending the time where i could still give birth to a physical being.
but in many respects, i have never felt more "fertile" in my life.
i am so much more aware of the process of transformation in my body/soul/mind/spirit than ever before.

i have always known that there is an exchange of energy during sex.
being that men fall asleep after and i feel like cleaning the house after and it feels like all their energy got transferred into ME to "deal with". and that is not always a good thing. in fact, it's mostly often not a good thing because the man is not aware, consciously, of what he is giving me, and i end up feeling like more of a psychic dumping ground than and equal conscious exchange of energies for the good of both people (and the world around us where the energy continues on)

that's all i can say about that for now since the rest i cannot put into words and i ant to get on with my day.
i'm going to try really hard to get another package to the p.o. box

http://www.eaglesite.ca/guematria.htm

in sad and intense news today i just found out that 2 people i care about...1 was taken to the emergency room and 1 has prostate cancer but they don't know anything more than that right now.
so....i'm feeling rather intense/worried about that right now.
i hope it will all work out and everything will be ok.
they will know more on wednesday.
eek. :(

the more i learn about fred astaire the more i learn there is not much to learn (in text form)! no one has much to say about him except that he was an exceptional dancer. but beyond that, he seems to be a closed book even to himself!

+++

Horoscope for Aries (December 12 2005)

Show what you are capable of doing, and don't be afraid to brag a bit about past victories. Your capacity to work hard and to give your all will impress the people with whom you do business. Money and contracts, though good, may come about in an unusual way.

and

Expressing rage ***
Valid during many months: This critical influence could awaken considerably conflicting emotions within you. You might have an increasing urge to finally tell someone straight to their face what you think of them, while at the same time being ashamed of having such hurtful and spiteful feelings. Others will possibly have difficulty coping with you at the present time, so that you are more reliant than usual on their patience and understanding. The best thing you can do now is to be compassionate with yourself. Your inner unrest is an unmistakable sign that something is coming to light which has long been causing havoc in the depths of your unconscious. Most people bury the emotional pain resulting from rejection, embarrassment or experiences of ridicule and abandonment deep within their psyche, without ever venting the rage and hate which accompany it.
Problems with colleagues or rows within the family could trigger powerful emotions which no longer stand in relation to the outer events. If you now have to cope more often with feelings of rage and aggression, this is probably because you are stronger and more able to deal with such emotions and the reactions they cause in others. Just admit to having such unpleasant feelings! Only then will you become increasingly able to react to situations in a more appropriate way, and not to punish people for things which they are not responsible for. Rage is a completely natural emotion which protects us, often arising in situations in which we suffer injustice. If your upbringing has made you incapable of expressing such feelings, you will continue to feel helpless, used, guilty and at the mercy of others, denying yourself the chance to fight back.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Pluto Square Chiron exact at 03:40
activity period from middle of January 2005 until beginning of November 2006.

and

Although your feet might be on the ground, your mind drifts out toward the far edges of the cosmos today. You have relentlessly followed your thoughts to get to the bottom of your current feelings. Now it's time to simplify your thinking, thereby freeing yourself from previous emotional burdens.