december 3rd , 2005
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11:15pm

ok enough creepy thoughts!
i'm going to light incence and all my candles are burning and there is snow outside.
the puppies are snoozing and all is well :)

10:13pm

it's been a weird slow saturday.

creeped from this weird diavid icke video i watched yesterday about the reptilians.
i still don't know what to think of it all.
i just want to lock the queen mum up in a room with a bowl of menstrual blood to see if she really shapeshifts into a reptile.
i just want to know for SURE! :)
and if she doesn't shapeshift then i'd like to just be able to sleep better at night.

the problem with this whole reptilian conspiracy theory, for me, is that is makes sense to me. at least some of it does.
and so i am massively creeped out by it some of it.

but then i think...i've never seen a reptilian. i probably will not end up in a reptilian blood sacrifice, so why should i care?
but then i again i will probably never end up in an iraqi prison camp either *crosses fingers* so , again, why should i even care about the war?
why should i care about the starving children of africa, *I'M* not starving.
i don't live in africa. i'm not african.

so why should i care if there is a reptilian race slowly taking over the world so they can drink aryan blood?

*sigh* i just don't know what to think about it or do about it for that matter.
anyways, who knows. who knows what is true.
i have never even been to france.

just trying to fit the puzzle pieces together.
it's interesting...

a bunch of places i was at today:

ZZ Ceti is the generic name for pulsating WHITE DWARFS of type DA, which have a pure hydrogen outer layer composition. This name is equivalent to DAV (for variable DA white dwarfs) frequently used in the literature....

http://ancientegypt.hypermart.net/treeoflife/

fleur-de-lis or fleur-de-lys (flûr'd?-le', fl?r'-)
n., pl. fleurs-de-lis or fleurs-de-lys (flûr'd?-lez', fl?r'-).
An iris, especially a white-flowered form of Iris germanica.
Heraldry. A device consisting of a stylized three-petaled iris flower, used as the armorial emblem of the kings of France.
[Middle English flour de lice, from Old French flor de lis : flor, flower + de, of + lis, lily.]

http://www.uark.edu/ua/nc/ClarinetCollections/Heinrich%20Gehring/Fleur-de-Lis/Fleur-de-Lis.htm

http://www.sca.org/heraldry/laurel/precedents/bruce/head-jessant.html

http://www.lochsalann.org/devices_of_the_barony.htm

http://www.crystalinks.com/courtjesterfleur.html

http://www.crystalinks.com/trickster.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sputnikcccp/Hebrew_Alphabet#Significance_of_Daleth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_God_in_Judaism#Hashem.2FHadavar

http://www.tarot.com/about-tarot/library/essays/majorcards

Merovingian King Clovis, who reportedly wore an Iris flower in his helmet as he rode to victory in battle.

http://altreligion.about.com/library/glossary/symbols/bldefsgdcross.htm

http://levity.com/alchemy/hermhera.html

http://www.psychovision.ch/hknw/holy_wedding_alchemy_modern_man_p1l_e.htm

http://www.horusmedia.de/2004-arkanen/arkanen-en.php

http://www.cgjungpage.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=658&Itemid=41

http://www.zen-it.com/symbol/mylius/Mylmercurio.htm

extraction of the spirit of mercurius

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercurius

 

5:23pm

in wondering what the fleur de lis is
i ran into the largest diamond in space.
which i am still researching:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BPM_37093 (a crystallised white dwarf)

They call it BPM 37093. Not a name that suggests romance. But if diamonds are a girl's best friend, then BPM 37093 should be most popular, indeed? an interstellar diamond weighing in at a mouth-watering 10 billion trillion trillion carats! That's a one followed by 34 zeros, in case you're keeping count. And that's not BPM 37093's only impressive specs. At 2,500 miles across, the collapsed heart of a long-dead White Dwarf would be somewhat larger than our own moon. Unfortunately for Elizabeth Taylor, this hunk of cosmic bling is located 300,000,000,000 miles away,

http://wet.iitap.iastate.edu/xcov16/bpm/
http://starryskies.com/articles/2004/02/diamond.html

BPM 37093 is a pulsating white dwarf of the ZZ Ceti type

Scientists Detect Crystalline Carbon in Cooling Star
In a fitting announcement for Valentine's Day, scientists at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics announced that the core of a cooling white dwarf star 50 light-years from Earth is made up almost entirely of crystalline carbon, making it essentially a diamond 2,500 miles across.

The investigators found that the largest known white dwarf, known as BPM 37093, emits vibrations at frequencies that indicated a solid core, though the surface still emits light and sound. "Because it was so massive, it was becoming crystalline even while it was still pulsating," said center astrophysicist Travis Metcalfe. White dwarves, the remains of collapsed stars, pulsate as they cool over billions of years.

"It's not exactly the same structure as diamond," said University of Texas astronomer Don Winget. "But it's real close." Scientists said the object weighs 5 million trillion trillion pounds or, in diamond terms, 10 billion trillion trillion carats.

http://members.tripod.com/~nadia_ioannou/astronomy.htm
The white dwarf is not only radiant but also rings like a gigantic gong, undergoing constant pulsations.

http://www.soundsofsirius.com/artic_diamond.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleur-de-lis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_heraldic_charges

Archaeopteryx now officially the world's most Primitive Bird...
Nature reported on August 4th that "It was half-bird, half-reptile and it soared above the still lagoons of Bavaria 147 million years ago. Researchers have confirmed that Archaeopteryx had a brain and body geared for flight, earning it the moniker of the world's most primitive bird.

---

and i am wondering why abc.net. au has the symbol of (i forget what it is called, but i discovered it the other day and it has a name)
http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2004/s1046685.htm
at the bottom of their page....and it's called 000000.gif!
hmmmm!

http://www.windows.ucar.edu/the_universe/crux.html

2:34pm

reflected repeatedly circle pattern

that was just the random above the cam pic
so perfect as i was just thinking thoughts about that.

i'm trying to figure out what a gamma is.
i don't get it.

gimmel-gamma and how they are related.

also heh, nun, mem slowly learning about those (very slowly)

researching the isle of staffa and the giant's causeway in ireland.

and NU and un.

and resh

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogdoad

i should make some food.

1. Several rongorongo glyphs are engraved among birdman figures - the feature of the solar cult of the deity Makemake - on a rock at Mata Ngarau, Orongo, on Easter Island (Lee 1992: 69, figure 4.41). They are 30 34 38 Ana ra'a RA'A 'The sun shines'.

--

This is the story of the Egyptian scribe Ana, who lived in the time of the Exodus, and was an intimate of the Phararoh Seti.

Ana was the son of Meri, a scribe of the temple of Ptah, who died during the reign of Rameses III, and a grandson of the poet Pentaur. He was brought up in his father's profession. Unusually, however, he also enjoyed the honorary status of Royal Twin in Ra, a having been born at Memphis on the same day as the prince Seti, the son of Pharaoh Meneptah II and Queen Asnefert.

--

more on ana, the scribe:

http://www.online-literature.com/h-rider-haggard/moon-of-israel/2/

++

 

HH
http://www.theosociety.org/pasadena/etgloss/ha-hh.htm

why does HH stand for resurrection?

connection to Copernicus?

http://www.somis.org/HH.html

google copernicus and HH together! very STRANGE.

==

???

LONGEVITY REPORT 42

Three accomplished freedom-oriented Toastmasters, "MM," "HH," and "RR," have undertaken to create the "Terra Libra Speakers Bureau."

what the H-E double toothpicks?

--

http://www.theosophy-nw.org/theosnw/ctg/ci-co.htm

http://www.theosociety.org/pasadena/sd/sd-hp.htm

+++

sombrero galazy!

google THAT!

things about the white swan and HAMSA (because of the show Lost, still trying to figure it out)

THE WHITE SWAN FROM THE STARRY VAULT (the Moon), OVERSHADOWED THE BIG DROP. THE EGG OF THE FUTURE RACE, THE MAN-SWAN (Hamsa) OF THE LATER THIRD (a). FIRST MALE-FEMALE, THEN MAN AND WOMAN (b).

http://www.reptilianagenda.com/research/r110199x.shtml

===

http://home.c2i.net/monsalvat/wildfowl.htm

Here is the episode of the swan in Wagner's Prose Draft:

While the King is bathing in the sacred lake, a wild swan circles over his head: suddenly it falls, wounded by an arrow; shouts from the lake: general indignation, who dares kill an animal on this sacred spot? The swan flutters nearer and drops bleeding to the ground.

====

http://www.winshop.com.au/annew/Cygnus.html

Cygnus The Swan

The symbology of the swan: Zeus took the form of a swan to seduce Leda and the swan has erotic associations as an emblem of Aphrodite/Venus and the chariot of Venus was drawn by swans. In Hinduism the swan and goose are interchangeable in myth and legend. The Hamsa can be depicted as either, it is Ham Sa, 'that pair of swans' who depict perfect union, they also portray breath and spirit. Brahma, has the swan or goose as an attribute and can have one as his mount. Like the Egyptian goose it was the bird that laid the Cosmic Egg on the waters. Brahma sprang from this Golden Egg. The swan was also the vehicle of his wife Saraswati, goddess of wisdom, learning and music. Swans used as figureheads on ships, bring good luck since swans do not plunge themselves below the waves.

;

It is hard to separate the two birds in Hindu iconography; Brahma's 'swan' (Hamsa) used as his steed has the appearance of a wild goose. As de Mallmann says, the etymological kinship between hamsa and anser (Latin for 'goose') 'hits one between the eyes'. The Hamsa which was Varuna's steed was a water-fowl; Brahma's steed was the symbol of the elevation of the unformed towards the Heaven of knowledge. There is much the same meaning in those Cambodian writings which identify Shiva with the Kalahamsa 'which haunts the yogis' lake of the heart' and with the hamsa 'which dwells in the binou'. hanisa meaning both anser and arman or self. the Universal Spirit. When an attribute of Vishnu. it becomes a symbol of Nar-ayana, one of the titles of the Creator-God, and the soul in the universe personified.

Swan symbolism opens still further perspectives in so far as a swan either laid or brooded the World egg. This was the role of the 'Nile goose' in Ancient Egypt.' and again, that of the hamsa which incubated the Brahmanda on the primeval waters in Indian tradition; and lastly, there was the egg produced by Leda and Zeus, from which emerged the Dioscuri, each capped by half the egg and figures of its differentiation. Nor is it irrelevant to add that until comparatively recently there was the widespread belief that babies were born of earth and water and brought by the swans.

The swan is also a part of alchemical symbolism. 'Alchemists have always regarded it as an emblem of mercury, being of the same color and as mobile. Its volatility too is displayed by its wings. It is an expression of the marriage of opposites (Fire and Water in which its archetypal property of bermaphroditism may be discerned).

[ "The Penguin Dictionary of Symbols", 1969, Jean Chevalier and Alain Gheerbrant" translated by John Buchanan-Brown, Penguin books].

-----

http://www.khandro.net/animal_bird_swan.htm

http://www.thamesweb.co.uk/swans/upping2.html

http://www.hamsa-yoga.org/pract_kriya.htm

Hamsa Yoga, the Way Of The White Swan Is the Evolution Of Human Consciousness, the most comprehensive enterprise ever under-taken by humanity, besides which the greatest of human achievements pale into insignificance. This process is yoga which commends itself to the foremost minds of the East & the West. In the human brain exists the Lateral Ventricals in the shape of a "Swan In Flight", with its wing like ventricles thrust towards the forehead and its head pointing to the back as though the Swan is flying faster than light back to the future. When a Hamsa Yogi, through meditation & pranayam, activates the Kundalini energy, then these ventricles in the brain open up. The two petals in the Agya Chakra open. The yogi, at this stage, experiences Hamsa Consciousness, being breathed by the divine Indweller.

http://www.cs.unc.edu/Research/MIDAG/defmreps/styner_www/Research/Research_Vol_vs_Shape.html

http://www.cygnus-books.co.uk/features/letting-go-person-lama-surya-das.htm

http://oaks.nvg.org/soham.html

An Example, the Supreme Swan
The swan in the list, Hamsa, represents divine attainment. Hamsa is made up of components that are translatable into "I am Me (He)", which at best is a facet of enlightenment. The Ramakrishna Society has found it fit to use the swan in the middle of their icon for that reason. Hamsa is for attunement with God the Creator in Hinduism and so on - the master of all the beauty and grace in the world. In mythology it is also held that the swan can separate milk from water - this says that your discriminative activities may have a high origin, and so on. Here the swan is explained as a vehicle Godwards. In fact, an ancient yoga technique uses a word sound like "hamsa" for diving inside (for contemplation). It is here

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http://www.theosociety.org/pasadena/sd-index/dx-ka-kd.htm

Kalahansa [-Hamsa] (Skt). See also Hamsa, Man-Swan, Swan

Brahma(n) or I 20, 79-80
described, explained I 77-81
Kwan-shi-yin floating on I 471
lays golden egg I 359
"Swan in Eternity" I 359, 362; II 122, 465

---

http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v99/__show_article/_a000099-000252.htm

http://theosophy.org/tlodocs/KalahansaAndKalachakra.htm

"Kalahansa, the Dark Swan of Everlasting Duration which manifests as the White Swan of Eternity in Time. The Great Bird of Life is the primordial and sacred bridge between kala and khandakala, the unconditionally Timeless and conditioned Time. The Ineffable Light hidden in Divine Darkness in boundless space becomes, in the dawn of differentiation, the rainbow bridge which displays the colourless light of the Spiritual Sun in its beatific dance with seven veils, suggesting the seven primordial Rays in splendid unison as the fons et origo of the dazzling and incalculable multiplicity of manifestation. In this way, the unknowable Deity assumes the pristine, illusive appearance of Ishvara, the manifested Logos of the cosmos, which is the origin of the mahamaya that makes all evolution and involution possible over immense periods of cyclic recurrence."
/*/*/*
"All of this is expressed in the great metaphor of Kalahansa, sometimes translated as 'the Swan in and out of time'. Kalahansa is black, representing Divine Darkness, the plenum of all potentiality. Imagine a mighty cosmic bird with black wings, which correspond to infinity and eternity. Although at rest, that same bird emanates or emerges as a white bird in space and time. Kalahansa in eternity is behind Kalahansa in time. This powerful metaphor represents the descent of Dhyanis from Divine Darkness -- from what seems to be motionless absolute stillness -- into the world of becoming, where there is rhythmic motion amidst burgeoning life, growth, decay and death, but also endless regeneration. Kalahansa stands for all the endless cycles (Kalachakra): the cycles of the seasons, the cycles of the year, the cycles represented by the revolutions of the planets, but also the cycles of day and night and the cycles that human beings experience -- in sleeping and waking, in living and dying, in birth and death and rebirth."

new book "The Call of the Ancient Swan".
Kalahansa; the Swan of Eternity or "Swan in and out of time" is an ancient Aryan symbol for the first cause of the solar system. They believed that an invisible mystical bird dropped an egg, known as the Golden Egg, into space and the egg became the Solar Universe. The egg typifies the great Circle, or O, which itself is a symbol for the universe and its spherical bodies. The swan is associated with the Aum, which is the sound of God, with it?s right wing being A, it?s left wing being U and its tail is M.

2:31pm

we are not going to go food shopping because it's snowing pretty heavily and jason doesn't have the snow tires on his car.

12:20pm

today is 17 degrees and pretty snow.
train the the distance.
i can see a tiny bit of ice forming on the river.
the sky is white.

i dreamt i was trying to make a round house out of old bricks from abandoned building. because in new york city to by a new brick it was something like $9.65 or 9.95 a brick.
so i searched to find old towns that had lots of abansoned brick buildings so i could use those bricks for cheap or free.
i was very excited to make my house, it was also by a river.

down by the train tracks someone had scattered an enormous amount of forks, spoons, and knives (and a few scissors). it was for some art project but then they didn't want to go through all the hassle of collecting them back and washing them.
i said i would collect them and wash them in exchange i could keep all the forks. i wanted to make a wall of forks on my house.
but then this changed later to i also wanted a wall of spoons.

i met bono by the train tracks and i felt shy.
i had red saran wrap on my teeth because i thought that making them red looked cool, but it prevented me from being able to speak without sounding funny so i took the stuff off and shyly and happily said he to him. he seemed to recognize me and he smiled and said hi back.
i think he asked me what i was doing and i said i was collecting all this cutlery and i said i'd see him at his show.

---

i think i am done thinking 'BIG THOUGHTS" now for awhile.
at least i hope so. i'm really grateful for all the insight i've had lately but i need a tiny break from it so i can just be back IN life instead of thinking about life.

jason and i are going to go food shopping today.

+++

Horoscope for Aries (December 3 2005)

Avoid doing things related to work if you can help it. You need a break. Focus on having fun and doing things that will enhance your looks or your outlook. Take your mind off your everyday worries.

and

An ambiguous day
Valid during several months: For most people this is a good influence, a time when you will feel like expressing your love. For lovers this can be quite an amorous time. You will have a strong feeling that by yourself you are not quite complete and that you need someone else to make you whole. This feeling is not born out of personal insecurity; it is a real need and desire to give and receive love. However, for some persons at some times, this influence can have a negative effect, almost the reverse of the above. It can make you overly self-involved, so wrapped up in yourself that you do not relate very successfully to others. Or you may demand more love than you are willing to give. But for this to occur there must be a predisposition to it in your nature.

and

Whether or not others realize it, you've been doing some pretty serious thinking about your life these days. It's not that your search for deeper meaning is coming to an end, but it is time now to shift gears. Knowing the truth is a great start, but loses its value unless you apply your wisdom in ways that matter.

and

Saturday Mercury will be direct this evening! It takes a few days for her to regain momentum but there is a cheer to be raised! Now is the time to unleash those bridled plans and to unfurl the tangled sails. We're still in the Capricorn moon and things seem a bit cut and dried but that's very helpful when you're trying to survey and see how things really are in your world. Stark reality is much more helpful then floating fantasy. You don't have to take the 'road ahead' but if you know where it is and where it leads you can judge when and where you want to deviate from it and strike your own path.