november
12th, 2005 |
||
9:53pm
today was a strange day. it was a
good day.
it's weird that from the comfort of my bedroom i can grab files off strangers
computers from 1/2 way across the world.
i was trying to get this david lynch thing about rabbits from a guy in chile
but our connection was bad and i gave up.
i also ran into a very scary neonazi in germany who only collects pro-nazi
songs, nazi marches, nazi bands, photos of hitler, photos of dead jews from
the holocaust. just..folder after folder after folder of hate. it's so weird
that i can look at his files and he doesn't know i am this queer girl with
a black brother who dates a jew...and i'm right there in his computer. it's
a freaky feeling.
then i ran into this satanist. i don't know why, but satanists always make
me laugh because i just can't take them seriously because it's just so ridiculously
absurd to worship satan.
i know that evil exists, don't get me wrong, i was just just looking through
the files of a hardcore neonazi...and you better take that shit seriously...because
well, look at the photos from the holocaust for reasons why.
i suppose i should either take nazi and satanists both seriously or i should
laugh at both equally, because they are both equally ridiculous and immature.
but i find myself cringing more at the nazis and laughing more at the satanists.
but there really is no difference between the two.
they are both ignorant fools.
so i'm browsing the satanist's files...i
can't even remember now what i was looking for that i even ended up looking
at this guy's files...and it's just folder after folder of "shocking"
band name after "shocking" band name. i can't even remember the
names now.
something like bloodpuss cuntfuckers or something. you know just something
ridiculous. and then the title of their record would be something in latin
about a succubus.
the net is weird. i wonder if they
looked at my files.
i wonder what they look like and what they are doing and thinking and how
old they are and what will come of them and what brought them to that point.
going through someone's files feels
almost like going through someone's brain. but i know it's not even remotely
the same thing.
mabe the nazi did browse my files and secretly wished to download my funk,
like some forbidden jungle fruit.
or if the satanist has a secret stash of stuffed animals somewhere and secretly pink is his favourite colour.
i lure them and tempt the lost souls
with happy joyjoy music and hello kitty. i say...come...come to the light
side. i will feed you music that will burst forth in your head like a pink
grapefruit on a perfect summer. go ahead...download my bjork, my stereolab,
my xtc, my kate bush...and even my supertramp "breakfast in america"..
go ahead take "lucky star" by madonna and missy elliot...you know
you want to...come...come my little lambs....partake in the forbidden fruit
of light :)
relaxxxxx, to brian eno's "music for films".
take off your burning crosses and slip into come pizzacato 5, or perhaps some
frou frou....
then i came across a guy with the motherlode of new agey conspiracy theor stuff plus weird stuff on physics, pi, cropcircles, yoga, breathwork and a folder that says "the 4th dimension simply explained" well, you KNOW i need that!
it's thundering out.
jason and i just finished watching "a bronx tale" with robert deniro.
it was good. 4 stars.
5:45pm
i don't like madonna's new cd "confessions
on a dance floor".
it's really normal and boring. usually there is at least 1 to 3 songs i really
LOVE on just about every madonna record. but this one, there is not even one
i really like. and the lyrics are pretty awful. not that she is known for
having the greatest lyrics, but still...i would expect them to be a BIT better
now, at the age of 46 or whatever age she is now.
well, you can't win them all. i still love her, but i'll just have to hope
the next one is better.
maybe someone will make some cool remixes i will like, or maybe bits will
grow on me. i don't think so, tho.
i liked that madonna always experimented a bit (for her...i realize her music
is not experimental..but she experiments for HER, a bit). but this whole record
is just really safe and ordinary.
not even in a happy bubblegum pop sort of mindless way is it good to me.
it's just leaves me rather blah. i don't even want to dance to it, and that
is sad. there is just no passion to it.
she can still play shakti in my movie,
tho.
i still love you, madonna. but eesh.
3:56pm
went to borders with jason and bought
some birthday presents for jason's mom as we are celebrating it with her and
her family tomorrow morning brunch. and i finally bought a paper calendar
for myself so i can keep track of things. i like paper calendars and not ones
that are online. i got an astrology one so i know all the transits every day.
i still don't know how to read transits but i learn a bit more about astrology
each year.
and i bought the book "the third policeman" by flann o'brien which
is a comical macabre absurd science fictiony book. sawyer was reading it on
Lost (the tv show) and i looked into it and it sounded right up my alley.
then i went to the little store and bought some food because i was completely out. just basics, eggs, cheese, spaghetti sauce, kippers, cokes, spinach, dog food.
it's very grey and rainy today.
went through my amazon wishlist and got rid of 10 pages of stuff. i just keep
adding to it and it was getting out of control huge from all the years i just
keep adding stuff to it.
now i'm boiling some noodles to put
spaghetti sauce on.
i haven't eaten that in forever.
then i think i'll go claim one of
those storage units.
i'm still going to get rid of things, but i think i will take advantage of
putting a few transitional items in there just to get them out of my way for
a few weeks.
this month is flying by really fast. i need to start working on the photos for the 12 babes of xmas , too. i thought i had all this time but november is flying by.
and i have to get some hats off to supernaturale.
and annie oakley who does the sex
worker's art show says she thinks there is a way for me to present a show
with them on tour from my house. so i am really excited about that.
so i'll be touring with them, but not physically, but i still will do live
presentations each night :)
so that has to get all worked out and it'll be 25 shows in a row almost, but
they will be short at 10 minutes per night.
but i am really excited about the possibilities of all i might do :)
so things are going to get very busy for me.
doing these 25 shows, and then after that going to portal to make the movie.
and still fitting in writing a new record in there.
so 2006 is already going to be a darn cool year, i'm quite sure :)
i've already got my calendar for it up on the wall :)
so tomorrow i have to get up at 8:30am
because we leave at 9:30am for the mom birthday brunch. and then at 1pm i
will be leaving with MY dad and he is taking me to the opera and i can't remember
which one, but it's a biggie and a classic. i wish i could remember which
one it is.
11:16am
woo hooo! i got my speakers fuzzy
gave me hooked up!
i'm listening to all my vinyl! antena, polyrock, the tapes!
i forgot i had almost all the albums by the inceredible string band, even
tho i NEVER listen to them even when i did have a stereo. i keep thinking
that SOMEDAY i will like them.
now that i look through my vinyl,
there is some i could get rid of , i guess.
but it's hard to. like i have pink floyd all on vinyl...but now i have pink
floyd all on cd.
do i really need them on vinyl anymore?
maybe i'll just keep the rare stuff...like the original pressing of saucerful
of secrets.
it's hard to get rid of things on vinyl. there is something about vinyl that
is ALIVE.
like it has this quality of spirit that i can't put my finger on that cd never
did have.
i love cds for the clarity...but vinyl...i don't know if anyone else knows
what i mean.
and somethings just to translate
to cd at ALL.
the small faces ogden's nutgone flake is one of them.
it SUCKS on cd. like the spirit of it is just gone and all that is left is
the fascimile.
or maybe they just did a really shitty job of transferring it to cd.
but the vinyl version has a warmth that the cd does not even remotely have.
plus i LOVE the little blips and static zips that vinyl gets. it adds character
to the song.
like how the little pieces of dust and scratches add to the nuance of an old
movie.
vinyl takes on a spirit, like a pair
of jeans.
whereas cds never do. cds just gets scratched and then you have to buy a new
one.
if a vinyl record gets scratched you can push the needle into the groove and
rescratch in a new groove to make that skip not skip anymore.
there is something really NICE about seeing the physical representation of
the music cut right inot the vinyl.
the vibrations physically cut in. and you can see them and you can see how
long a song is not because of some digital readout but because you can see
how fat or thin the song is.
and then don't even get my started
on the beauty of having a gatefold record cover.
oh yessssss......
BIG art. all that BIG space. not this tiny little cd booklet.
mmmm, a nice BIG sturdy cardboard cover with big time photos and art.
yes, it's a beautiful thing.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. vinyl!
my cassettes have not aged well at all.
it's a shame. some really won't play at all. they sound like they are being
eaten and they warp and warble and the sound comes in and out.
it's so sad.
now i am listening to
wings "back to the egg"
it is so impossible to find that album on soulseek!
oh, i know what you're thinking...wings suck.
well, screw you man. i love wings, ok?
back to the egg rules. it does! *gives you the finger* :)
+++
Horoscope for Aries (November 12 2005)
You may feel a little pressured today. Don't let anyone back you into a corner. Act now and you won't have any regrets later. Don't let your personal life interfere with your professional decisions.
and
Emotional attitudes
Weak, transient effect: Certainly, this morning emotional attitudes figure
more prominently than usual. You should be careful not to lose your objectivity
in a discussion or lose your sense of perspective. But you will not feel particularly
good or bad with this influence; rather, you will feel any emotion more strongly.
Sometimes there is a tendency to attract things to you at this time. Women
may also be more important to you than usual. Objects, persons and places
that are familiar to you are very important at this time because you need
emotional reassurance from your surrounding. You may try to withdraw from
others or from confrontations with unfamiliar or strange situations. This
is not a negative condition; it arises out of a need to be by yourself for
awhile.
and
Your fire is burning hot now, but that doesn't mean everything will come easily. Although you are riding waves of wild desires, conflicts about propriety prevent you from expressing all that you feel. Accept the fact that greater forces are working to prevent you from having your dreams fulfilled today. Don't throw in the towel; your perseverance will be rewarded, perhaps in a very unexpected way.
and
Saturday the pace has picked up.
Those fresh ideas and plans for action that came about this week and survived
the onslaughts of the critics can be put into action now. Use the vibrant
nature of Aries to initiate, but mindful that the push from this sign has
trouble with follow through so leave yourself a few reminders to finish what
was started under this moon. Venus and Uranus in aspect give us a tone that
can integrate the novel thinking into a way that brings more pleasure and
harmony. Real pleasure like shared food, or a calm day in the back yard with
friends.