| august
24th, 2005 |
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Focus on the center + and all the
outer dots will disappear.
this is brilliant:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/presaddress2.shtml
or download it here:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/presaddress.mov
the weirdest video i have ever seen about periods.
"let's pretend that blood is
coming from inside of your body through an opening between your legs now!"
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=periods101.wmv
click on "android sisters"
thanks to bayarts for the android
sisters link
(she always finds the best stuff!)
and here is some pure joy:
http://robpongi.com/pages/comboGKIDS01.html
and wtf?
http://robpongi.com/pages/comboHELMETHI.html
and here is something completely
embarrassing that fetik3 showed me:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/wmv/anthem.wmv
poor girl!
but this always makes me laugh everytime:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=afroninja.mpg
weatherman with tourettes:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=tourettesweather.wmv
hahaha!:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/kidsshow2.html
or download it here:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/kidsshow.wmv
this is fetik3's fave right now:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/daker.html
this is absolutely nuts:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=priceisright.wmv
10:29pm
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8:18pm
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i am noticing that whether or not
a woman shaves her genitals is quite the "hot button" topic, these
days.
it's really weird. people are either violently opposed to it or violently
for it...just "anti-hair".
i was reading a lot about it on nerve on people's comments to women who did
not shave.
pretty much everyone there is completely hairless.
there was a few pix of women with natural pubic hair and it sparked a lot
of "discussion".
i got into a pretty big argument with someone who i thought was a friend today
over this.
and it bummed me out pretty bad.
i put the entire conversation and how i felt about it at the bottom of this
page, past the horoscopes.
8:02pm
wow, how did it get to be 8pm already?
i got to the drugstore for my xanax and migraine medication.
and then to the food store and i got a cake!
and sprinkles and icing for some photos :)
also some more flowers for photos, also.
i was going to do a big she-bang today, but i will wait til tomorrow because
i want it lighter out.
nerve gave me a pass into their site so i can understand more their style.
and now i really have a way better feeling as to the type of things they like
and are looking for and i can see where my style MIGHT not totally fit, but
i am going to give it the best try ever,because dammit, i have a lot to offer
and i a something different for there.
for one thing, i could find NO photo of any woman with fake breasts. also
everyone is about 20-25 years old.
there are NO goth chicks. no punk chicks. no one with blue hair.
lots of tattoos, tho. but it seems more to be more of this paper magazine
or mylon magazine type of thing.
that kind of raw, very unretouched photo kind of style.
but damn, i think there is room for a space alien like me there :)
so i've got my props now, and i'm going to bake them (and you!) a cake :)
but i have a lot to think about and plan.
and then i will just give it my all!
now it's my shows, rock star: inxs and then Lost.
and i'm just thinking thinking thinking planning.
i want these photos to be PERFECT for them.
actually when i look back at what i showed them
i can see a lot in there that would
fit.
but now that i know what is in there, i have a WAY better grasp of this situation.
i've just been taking it all in.
3:47pm
ok, nerve is going to give me an
"audition" for their "daily seige" blog part.
i am nervous. but i can do this.
i have to come up with a week's worth of photos with narrative text that goes
with each photo.
they want 5 photos.
it has to be all new material. i told them what i would make for them would
be exclusively for them and brand new.
i'm looking at all the archives of daily seige right now and taking it all
in.
i'm really excited but nervous because i really want this position.
but ya, i am going to come up with some kick ass images for them.
hell ya.
but 1st...i have to get to the drugstore.
2:17pm
i haven't heard a peep from nerve
since i sent them my email to them about trying to get a photoblogging position
with them. i suppose i should send them a follow up email.
ok...just sent them a follow up email.
also finally made another dr's appointment.
sept 16th at noon.
i need to get to the drugstore today to refill my prescriptions.
1:21pm
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the wind was howling through my windows
again, so this morning
i had to sleep with the gun silencer headphones on again.
5:00am
goodnight...sun is coming up....
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it was good day yesterday :)
check out the pix!
4:01am
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Horoscope for Aries (August 24 2005)
Work-related matters will escalate, requiring you to sink or swim. Keep your wits about you and remain calm and in control. You will do extremely well today.
and
The life of the party
This is a very lighthearted time, when you should be able to relax and enjoy
yourself with friends and loved ones. You will enjoy being with groups of
people, and you will wish to express your feelings of affection. Your favor
will extend even to the point that you want to share it with everyone. This
is also a good time to go out and meet people. You will not have the fear
and shyness that may sometimes make it difficult for you to encounter new
people, nor will you need to worry about making a bad impression on the people
you meet. This influence helps to ensure you will make a favorable impression
upon everyone. If you usually enjoy being the life of the party, you will
certainly have the chance to play this role now.
and
Building on what you've already initiated will help you feel better about yourself, and, of course, will insure that your previous efforts have not been wasted. But when others appear too pleasant, be careful, for they may be secretly opposing your efforts and hiding their agendas with detached sweetness. Avoid forcing any issues now, for you might make a mess of it with your anger.
+++
i am so fucking pissed off right now at urgent_alchemy's comments to me in
this post:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ana/1606059.html
they've been on my friends list a long time. i thought they were cool, which
makes it hurt all the more.
i don't know what it is or why it is that posting photos of myself nude sometimes
brings out the creepiest sides to people that were hidden before. i am just
so disappointed and creeped out.
why is that that when i post a photo of my body some people think this gives
them the absolute right to tell me how they would prefer my body? what is
up with that? just because i am naked "all bets are off" and "anything
goes"?
you then just have the right to make ANY remark you feel like JUST because
i am showing my body? what the FUCK?
if this was just some drive by poster i wouldn't be upset. but this is a
person who i thought was a cool and reasonable person.
and so i just feel so betrayed. i'm just shaking in my disappointment.
well, i took them off my friends list and banned them now.
i feel so fucking sad and angry.
they wouldn't even apologize. they just did the old "you're becoming a hysterical woman" trick to try to belittle me further and make me feel like my feelings on this aren't worth anything. what a fucking load of bullshit. adding insult to injury.
what is it about the internet that just makes people say things that they
would NEVER say to you face to face?
i cannot think of one true friend who, after seeing me naked, would say "
i am tempted to shave you".
gross. and then i said "eek no!" and they STILL persisted in their
wanting to shave me, telling me it would be "fun".
just. god. i am so confused, angry, sad, disappointed, disgusted, creeped
out....
i thought this person was cool, reasonable, "evolved", my FRIEND...why
does posting pictures of my naked body bring out the the weirdest sides to
people??? just WTF? again. i wouldn't be so upset if this was a drive by poster
or someone had said this to me in show_your_pussy. i would still be UPSET...but
when people i thought were BEYOND this type of medieval thinking do this,
it just really upsets me a lot. it makes me feel unsafe like i just don't
know WHO is my friend and who isn't. it's like a wild card was thrown at me
and it makes me just want to shut down.
here is what was said because i am going to delete it from that post, i think.
urgent_alchemy:
I love this, and you (if you didn't know that already), but I'm tempted to
shave you.
ana:
eek. no shaving please!
shaving makes me break out in a horrible rash that is most painful!
urgent_alchemy
Awww. It could be fun though (I've improved safe-bump-free techniques).
ana:
ya, fun for YOU.
no thanks!
believe me, i have tried every single technique EVER to not break out in
a rash. and then the ingrown hairs afterwards, too! gah! MISERABLE!
i was a stripper. i had to shave every day. been there done that.
so if you are tempted to shave me i might be tempted to poke you in the eye with something sharp! and believe me, i have improved my technique on THAT :)
urgent_alchemy:
"so if you are tempted to shave me i might be tempted to poke you in
the eye with something sharp! and believe me, i have improved my technique
on THAT :)"
Gee, thanks.
ana:
"Gee, thanks."
ya, that exactly how i felt when you said you were tempted to shave me.
gee...thanks. back atcha.
urgent_alchemy
Now if you would have said that initially, I would have been ok with it. But
there's no need to get hostile-violent about it.
ana:
well, you shouldn't have said you wanted to shave me in the 1st place.
that was completely inappropriate and creepy.
urgent_alchemy
hmm.
ana:
you've really seriously offended me and that is ALL you can say? for real?
that's it? you think it's just fine and dandy to walk up to women and tell
them you want to shave them, and even after they say "eek no!" you
STILL keep going on about it telling me how FUN it will be.
i mean are you that insensitive or just ignorant to proper etiquette?
i mean, what the hell?
i am really disapointed. i expected a lot more from you.
i expected at least an apology, not a "hmm."
you don't even TRY to see it from my side? you just expect me to think this
is a fun game i should play with you? sure, SHAVE MY GENITALS because that
is how YOU would prefer them, even tho i HATE to be shaved, it causes me pain
and you are not my lover (how selfish can you be?). yay! (and hello, i have
a BOYFRIEND?)
what on earth is going on in that head of yours?
urgent_alchemy
"you've really seriously offended me and that is ALL you can say? for
real? that's it?"
Well, for me, hmm is a thinking term, I use it when I'm taking time to think something out. And in this case since I obviously upset you I didn't want to add any more conflict and just think about how to respond for a bit. Hence my 'hmm'.
"you think it's just fine and dandy to walk up to women and tell them you want to shave them, and even after they say "eek no!" you STILL keep going on about it telling me how FUN it will be."
Umm, you're not a 'woman on the street', you're someone who I've had friended for some time, have had little conversations back and forth with, and who I thought was a friend. Apologies, but I'm anti-body hair, on myself and others, I was TRYING to be playful about it.
"i mean are you that insensitive or just ignorant to proper etiquette?
i mean, what the hell?"
I think you need to calm down, trying to insult me with this isn't going to work because I don't get rilled up this much over stuff like this anymore. It was a misunderstanding, it's ok, life goes on.
"i am really disapointed. i expected a lot more from you.
i expected at least an apology, not a "hmm."
you don't even TRY to see it from my side? you just expect me to think this
is a fun game i should play with you? sure, SHAVE MY GENITALS because that
is how YOU would prefer them,"
Again, please CALM DOWN. You do what you like in your life, and I would worry about you if you went out and did something just because someone you know from livejournal suggested it.
"even tho i HATE to be shaved, it causes me pain and you are not my
lover (how selfish can you be?). yay! (and hello, i have a BOYFRIEND?)
what on earth is going on in that head of yours?"
Ha, well tonight I'm busy thinking about exhibitions, and packaging pieces up, and which show is when, and what to read for my 'Women art and society' course tomorrow, that's what's in my head, going-through at the moment.
ana:
don't try to belittle me and make this into "not a big thing" by
telling me to "calm down". thank you very much.
so you are anti-body hair. fine.
keep it in your own life and don't try to "playfully" tell me you
don't like my pubic hair by "playfully" telling me you are "tempted
to shave me".
it's just gross, selfish, and inappropriate.
i'm not a little doll for you to fetishize and play "shave" with.
we "know" each other slightly but we are not at a point in our relationship,
nor will we EVER be at a point in our relationship where it will ever be appropriate
for you to tell me that you want to shave me because YOU don't like it that
way.
my pussy is not YOURS. you don't get a say about ANYTHING to do with my body.
period. what makes you feel so ENTITLED that you think you have the right
to say how YOU would prefer MY body?
i don't tell you what to do with YOUR hair.
so don't tell me what to do with mine.
if i wanted mine shaved i would have SHAVED it, don't you think?
did that ever occur to you?
i could give a fuck how you like your hair or don't like it at all.
and don't try to act like this is no big deal and tell me to calm down.
don't try to say my feelings are no big deal and that this should not be a
big deal to me. i feel really betrayed and disrespected by you.
and you are acting all blase and nonchalant.
you can apologize now or i am taking you off my friends list.
urgent_alchemy
You posted a shot of your crotch,
did you not think people would respond to that?
It seems as if you're completely oblivious to that somehow.
It's obvious that you're freaking out
so I won't even attempt to further explain this.
"you can apologize now or i am taking you off my friends list."
I don't do ultimatiums.
ana:
i don't see how posting a photo of my vagina gives you the right to say inappropriate
things to me anymore than a woman walking down the street in a miniskirt (or
whatever) gives men the right to make belittling comments to her. so your
reasoning is completely fuct. and you are acting like a male chauvenistic
pig. you are not the person i thought you were. wow. i am pretty astounded.
and then on top of it you are using ye olde "oh the woman is becoming
hysterical" routine which is doubley digusting and disapointing. goodbye.
THEN
after i have banned them they come in to my journal AGAIN using ANOTHER name!
ether_real
"i don't see how posting a photo of my vagina gives you the right to
say inappropriate things to me"
That is your judgment, not mine. Some would say posting a photo of a vagina is innappropriate in itself, but again, that's all a judgment call based on who's deciding.
"anymore than a woman walking down the street in a miniskirt (or whatever) gives men the right to make belittling comments to her."
Ok, now you're going over-board, again.
"so your reasoning is completely fuct. and you are acting like a male chauvenistic pig. you are not the person i thought you were. wow. i am pretty astounded. and then on top of it you are using ye olde "oh the woman is becoming hysterical" routine which is doubley digusting and disapointing. goodbye."
Hmm. Odd, and yes I.. second that 'not the person I thought you were'. I wish you the best (and your minions, I would watch that one, he-she is bizarro). Goodbye dear.
ana
i ban you and you come in here AGAIN under another name?
you just continue to violate my boundaries?
that is really fuct up.
i have now banned THIS journal, too.
please stay the fuck away from my journal.