august 18th, 2005
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4:57pm

ok *whew*, all day i worked on getting together a "thing" for a photoblogging position at nerve.com
i may not be the most professional sounding in my email, but i think my work will speak for itself on how professional i am of a photoblogger! damn! it's my LIFE!
i really hope i get this position as they actually pay, but 1st they audition you for a few days or something. so i am really nervous! nerve-ous.
if i get this it will really help me out IMMENSELY!
so please send me good vibes that i will get it!!!!
*neeeeerrrrrrrvvvvvooouusssssssss*

here is what i wrote (god, i hope there are no typos in there! why didn't i spell check it? aaa!):

dear Rachel,

i was alerted to the fact that you are looking for a person who could do "a blogging position at nerve. This would consist of posting an ongoing narrative of images--
posting most days, but not all. We are looking for nudity and
exhibitionism, but also beautiful, non-erotic imagery."

i am PERFECT for this job! and i hope you will consider me!
i have included 16 photos in this email but here:

http://www.anacam.com/nerve/
and
http://www.anacam.com/nerve2

are 2 pages i made for you which contains many more images. the 1st page is mostly erotic, the 2nd page is well...you just have to look at it! i have a twisted, dark, sensual, absurd, funny, yummy, textural look on things. i love to find extraordinary beauty in the ordinary.
my scope of photography ranges from all over the place from erotic to conceptual to...well, just about everything! i know i would be a perfect fit for nerve!

what you are looking for i have already been doing for the past 8 years!
about me on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana_Voog

my photography and work has been featured in museums such as MoMa in NYC, walker art center in minneapolis, and many more. i have been featured in publications such as playboy, yahoo internet life, the new york times, newsweek (just so many it's impossible to count now but those are the biggest i can think of at the top of my head). i have also been featured on A&E, hardcopy, vibe, (lots more tv..worldwide) and many documentaries, the most recent being "webcam girls" by Aerlyn Weissman which you can download at cineclix.xom and has been shown, most recently at film festivals in canada and australian national tv. and i was just recently in las vegas for another documentary on camgirls (for more on that: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ana/1601684.html)

but i assure you, what i do is way more than "a camgirl" and i do all types of photography on all types of cameras. from vintage toy cameras, polaroids, and my nikon.
i have amassed over 40,000 photos of mine on my members site:
http://www.ana2.com

here i've made you a username and password so you can check it out:

username:
password:

there is so much in there it will take you months to look at it all, but i just want you to see it so you can see all of what i do!

please consider me! please look at all the links! i know you will enjoy them so much! :)
just click on any thumbnail and it will take you through a slideshow, if you wish.
i really really want this job! because this is what i have done and perfected for the past 8 years! please let me know if you have any questions! i know my site is pretty huge so it might be hard to choose what links to go with. but just from the links i have shown you in this email, i think that should be sufficient to show you what my range is. and if you want more, then simply ask! i have infinite amounts of things to offer :)

cheers,
ana voog

here are the 16 pictures i included in the email:

now all i do is just wait and hope to god they like me!
but they HAVE to! because i am PERFECT for the job!
aaaaaaa!

keep your fingers crossed for me!

i'm going to go make a bath now and try to unwind.
that was such an ordeal to try to condense my life like that and sell it.
i hope i did a good enough job of getting my point across!
heck, i tried my best!
i really really did!
at least they can tell i am enthusiastic and really really good at what i do!

*jumps up and down nervously*

i'm going to take a bath and then snuggle wildly with boyfriend for the rest of the night.

do you think i should call this person on the phone, too?
or would that be too much?
ok, i called...she sounded like she was leaving (it is time for her to go home now) and she said she would look at my email 1st thing tomorrow. ok, so at least i know now not to wait today for any sort of reply. but ya, ok, at least it's in her mind now (i hope) to know that i sent her an email so it does not get lost in the shuffle! :)

*if i was a fingernail biter i would be biting my fingernails now*

12:04pm

mouseovers:

intense dreams.
i don't have the energy to write them down in great detail.
one was about i was part of a big family and we were getting rid of all the old things in our house that our mother had collected that we had no use for. tons of antiques. also, we had goldfish and they ket multiplying every few minutes and outgrowing their tank really really fast. sometimes we would have enough time to fill another tank with water and move more in there and sometimes we would not make it in time and some fish would die.
what was different about this dream is this was a family i actually belonged to and grew up with as opposed to my other dreams where i am in a house that i wish i had grown up in and i am in a family that i do not belong to.
i think it was a mostly positive dream, in a way.

then i had a very long exhausting dream about how WW2 and the rise of the nazis had happened and how this correlates with today and how this is happening again now. it's hard to explain, it was like moving living diagrams of people and how each segment of the population was on a different street moving in different ways and that is how some people can be utterly blind to the fact that 2 streets down parallel to them, there is this 4 lane major street where all the nazis are marching, but these people don't see it because they are on a different street and on their street everything seems fine.
and i saw how the government takes advantage of this and this is how they can just all of a sudden take over and then a portion of the population is completely blindsided as to how that happened.
very frustrating.
i saw streets that were filled with potential nazis and how these streets would converge then with the big street of nazis marching and then when they converged, the potential nazis would become nazis and join the march.
and i saw an indian boy, like a navajo or hopi who could make "signs" (like face masks with markings on them which foretold the cycles of things) with his face which meant something..or foretold something. and this was a special gift and the nazis swooped him up because he was too dangerous, and he was made a fool of by being forced to wrestle with a girl on tv, to discredit him.
and then doris day had a talk show like martha stewart's and she had the power to say something and speak up, but she wouldn't. we kept being on each other's talk shows being totally civil (i had a talk show , too) and then finally i couldn't take it anymore and i pointed to her on live TV and said "you are a COWARD! and i HATE YOU!"
and when i said that she turned green and bald.
the nation was aghast at my outburst and i ran down streets and tried to catch a bus back home. i saw a mural of a bear and i knew the "bear bus" (or something) was going to stop there and it did.
there bear bus (or bear route) was full of black people who were very oppressed and i told them i knew what was going and on and they said they did, too, and it was getting bad. i told them how i had told doris day she was a coward and they nodded in approval but when i told them she had turned green and bald when i said that, they seemed to think i was nuts. and when i said that i realized what i had seen was that she was part reptilian, cold blooded, and that is why she wouldn't speak up against the nazis, she was one of them and part of their propaganda machine.

(now that i think of it , my brother is black and he has a name which means "bear", so that could be why i had the bear symbolism. but i do think it means something more...like i just googled "bear tribe" and that brought me to knowledge about the "medicine wheel", which i think is what this boy knew about...he knew a way to heal the planet and stop the war through the wheel)


and then i had a premonition that 5 missiles were going to hit america and this would be the beginning of WW3. and other people were getting this same premonition, although some said it would be 3. we all had different numbers but it was between 3 to 5 missiles. we didn't know when they were going to hit, just that it was going to be soon, and we didn't know how to get the word out to the world, we knew that no one would believe us.

i wish i could say this was only a dream.
but i don't think it is, sadly.

+++

Horoscope for Aries (August 18 2005)

Don't take things too seriously today, or you will end up in a bad mood. Avoid any kind of disagreement. Today is about getting things done, not engaging in a debate about it.

and

Subjectivity
Weak, transient effect: This morning your closest contacts will take on a more emotional tone. You will be able to communicate your feelings more easily to your partner, a close working colleague or anyone else whom you encounter on an intimate level. Although the effects of this influence are not very difficult to deal with, you should be aware that you are likely to be so emotional and subjective in your relations with others that you may have difficulty seeing someone else's point of view. However, this influence favors situations in which you have to be sensitive to another's feelings or in which someone else has to be sensitive to yours. In your contacts with others you will seek warmth, support and nurture, and you will be equally capable of giving these to others when necessary.

and

Too much information doesn't make it easy on you today. You'd like to say, "Stop!", but you might be afraid of missing the most vital data. Most often, more data increases your chances of getting it right when making up your mind. But now, the facts just get in your way. On one hand, it feels like you cannot act until you know everything. On the other hand, you may already know more than you need. It's best to delay important decisions for a day or two.