august 6th, 2005
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9:45pm

ok, here was my original idea. and i think i like this best. it's sophisticated and modern.
i think it would go well with the dress and the victian lacey thing.
it's also easy to do, which i like :)
sorry for the crap photos. as you can tell i am awfully sleepy.
that's just me unretouched. staring like a deer in headlights into the camera.
anyway...imagine that with the dress and all.
what do you think? and then imagine rhinestones on the opposite side of my face of the puff. or some black doodling fillagree type make up maybe.
i'll do curly hair tomorrow. i just can't deal with doing anymore tonight.
i'm wiped. i'm going to have a glass of wine and call it a night.
get up in the morning and then...get everything else i need to get done. which is a crapload of a lot.
i could have totally white hair for the shoot. that would be so pretty.
but if i tried to get my hair to white it would all fall out.

 

9:10pm

playing with the stencils to see what make up stays on best. i have the fixative yet it doesn't work very well.
the 1st was a temporary pink hair spray, which didn't work well. lip liner worked better but still smeared after the fixative. i guess i could have sprayed more fixative on.
haven't crimped my hair since the 90's! ha :)
i think crimped hair still rocks.
so now i still have to decide...crimped hair or curly hair?
dunno yet.
i'm kind of running out of steam now.
wanted to add some red to the end of my hair and bleach my roots even more, but i am really slowing down now.
also all i ate today is strawberries and a coke because i am just so nervous i cannot eat.

but i think with the red dots and red tipped hair that should look nice and add some futurism as a nice contrast to the vintage clothing.

god, i have to get all my hair wet again and stick it all in rollers so i can then see what it looks like tomorrow....
argh. i really don't have the energy!

i'm listening to pink floyd's dark side of the moon.

tell me, crimped hair or curly hair? and then i'll have big glam fake eyelashes on and red glitter on my lips, too.
glam glam decadent glam :)

 

7:34pm

fucking around with "my look" it's getting there.
you have to imagine me laying down on a long velvet couch in this.
rhinestones of my face, more dramatic make up.
i can't decide on boots or barefoot.
and i have 3 different hairstyles i am thinking of.
and 3 different other ways to bleach or maybe not bleach my hair or make it back to blood red...i don't know...
i wish i knew exactly what to and could make up my mind.

deiter jumped up on me and put the 1st hole in it ever.
it made it for 80 years without getting a hole in it....then deiter puts one it. argh.

oh well. it was bound to happen sooner or later.

i don't think i have to worry about anyone else wearing this dress for the calendar :) yep, i think my outfit is pretty one of a kind.

i bought some circle stencils so i can make black dots going up my leg and or arms or face, too.
i'm thinking about lots of ways i could go with this.

 

6:30pm

bought more bleach.
was going to buy the crochet hooks but not only did they not have 14 in the size i wanted they were 4.00 a piece.
so i am just going to bring metal ones i already have and hope they make it through.
i got a hair crimper! yay for the 80's!
bought some cheap boots i think might look good with the outfit i want to wear for the photo.
we'll see.
i'm fucking nervous.
i think i'll have another xanax.

 

3:15pm

update from the frontlines of being a woman:
so "nads" this stickey gooey crap you put on your legs with a spatula and then put these cloth strips over that and then rip it off your body to rip the hair from your body....
doing the legs...it does not hurt very much at all. i was expecting this horrible burning pain, especially since i have my period which, they say, the worst time to have something like that done because our sensitivity to pain is increased.
but doing the legs was not bad at all. i was very surprised.
on a scale of 1 to 10 of pain, it was a 1.
it's just that the gooey stuff is really hard to spread and...it's a very messy inexact process.
so i wasn't able to get all my leg hair. there are still patches here and there or a stray hair here and there.
and they didn't give me enough cloth strips to finish the job, so now i have to find some other kind of cloth that might work. maybe any kind of cloth would work. i don't know.
i'll give the rest of it a go later today or tomorrow.
i tried the tiniest bit of my bikini but that hurt like a bitch so i'm not going there.
i might just have to take a tweezers to the rest to be exact.

i bleached my roots and did a pretty good job except missed ONE spot on the side of my head which i am now doing again *sigh*
i'm sick of rinsing my hair.
i just want it dry and this entire process over with.

took off all the old nailpolish and toepolish so i can apply a fresh coat of silver.
scrubbed my toes all smooth.

applied another crest white strip to the top of my teeth (to do the bottom hurts too much, i have a chip in a tooth there that needs to get fixed. all day yesterday it felt like someone drilling was one of my bottom teeth. disconcerting and ow.

so...i'm getting there with all this body beauty business.
glad to be making progress so soon i can just crawl back into bed and sleep.

so tired and crampy. bleeding bleeding bleeding.

jason is off getting a haircut and then he is going to take me to this fabric store that sells crochet hooks so i can buy a bunch of plastic ones for all the camgirls. i don't want the metal ones confinscated, just in case they decide to be bitchy about crochet hooks on the plane.
as far as i know, crochet hooks are allowed. i've done it before with one just fine.
but this time because i am bringing so many, i'm getting plastic ones.

i'm listening to the psychedelic furs.

my hair looks kind of cool 1/2 bleached yellow and orange on the bottom 1/2.
reminds me of leeloo in the 5th element.

i'll add some blood red at the very tips tonight or tomorrow.
tonight i may experiment with my new hair rollers to see how that works and what the results will look like so i don't get to vegas and freak out if i have such curly hair i look like little orphan annie, which is NOT the look i want :)

i just want this:

but my hair isn't that colour anymore and it's a little longer, so i'll see what happens.

i guess is should start making a pile of things i know i am bringing with to vegas so at least i am started on that.

i'm comtemplating taking my eyebrows off again.
but it's such a pain in the butt to wait for them to grow back again.

1:23pm

i'm nervous and have a stomache ache and cramps from my period.
i wish i could just stay in bed.
i wish i had a coke.
i'm going to bleach my roots now so at least i am doing something and working towards the goal of getting ready for vegas.

12:09pm

i need to give the wooket a haircut.

11:38am

looked up the people had had stolen credit cards to get into my site and then therefore, people whose credit cards were stolen charged me back. i emailed them just to say that was sad what they did. 2 of the 3 came back as address unknown now, of course.
the some other guy charged me back 3 months worth! i wrote to him and was like WTF dude!!??
i hope he writes back and tells me WTF because i'd like to know WTF!

i hope there are no more people in here with stolen credit cards. it really bums me out and costs me money.
i hope you know i am a real person and shit like that costs me. i bleed just like you do and it hurts.

now...on with my day...

9:03am

"This transcript contains explicit language and frank descriptions of sexual and bodily functions. The most graphic words and passages have been removed. The transcript was provided by former Los Angeles prosecutor John W. Miner, who was head of the District Attorney's medical-legal section when Marilyn Monroe died. He says the transcript was based on tapes Monroe recorded at her home for her psychiatrist, Dr. Ralph Greenson. Miner says he compiled the transcript after Greenson played him the tapes during an interview he conducted as part of the investigation into her death."

wasn't feeling well yesterday either.
i actually went to bed at 9pm and got up now.
slept 12 hours.
i think that helped a lot.
i started to get my period yesterday and have it now.
i have cramps :(
but i'm really glad to have 2 days to have my period at home so i can get the worst of it over with because i go to vegas on monday. that is a relief.
just gonna lay low this weekend and prepare for vegas.
get lots of sleep. ground myself. eat well.
so then when i go there i am on top of things and my head is clear.

all i have to do this weekend is be mellow and ground myself.
bleach my roots, dye my hair red, and wax my legs.
and get everything out i want to pack so i do not leave it to the last minute.
and i did want to work on the outfit i want to wear for the photoshoot which might take some sewing.

i realized i went food shopping at the wrong time because it will be hard to eat everything i just bought and have it still be good for when i get back. put the lamb in the freezer.
some of the veggies i may make a soup from then freeze.
then anything else i will give to fuzzy when i see her to give her my dogs for the few days i will be gone.

i am going to miss jason and the dogs so much.
but i won't be gone long.

Horoscope for Aries (August 6 2005)

If you want to start a business or anything new, for that matter, just do it. Your ideas are right on target, and your ability to work hard is commendable. Stop second-guessing your talent.

and

Inward harmony
Weak, transient effect: This morning you feel very much in harmony with yourself and able to do whatever you have to do single- mindedly. Your energies flow with less resistance, and life seems to be easier now. As a consequence, you can relate to people more easily, for others perceive your inward harmony and are drawn to you because of it. Obviously this is a good time for any kind of group activity. You are able to relate your own interests to the interests of any group you are working with, so that everyone will gain from what you do. Relations with men are also improved for the same reasons. A marriage or intimate relationship will be especially harmonious now, for this is a time of real understanding. On the physical level this harmony is expressed as a feeling of vitality, even if you may not feel driven to accomplish a great deal of work.

and

You might start your day with the realization that you should tie up unfinished business before starting the new. This is an ongoing dilemma for many of you Rams, and today offers you an opportunity to reap rewards if you stay focused until you complete your tasks, however menial you may feel they are.