| august
2nd , 2005 |
||
9:47pm
watched a documentary about people
in NYC who built their own homes out of scrap and live underneath the ground,
by the underground trains. it's amazing and moving and touching and just...i
highly recommend it! it made me laugh and cry and everything in between!
it's called "dark days"
go rent it!
6:17pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
it got up to 96 today.
i'm hyper!
i didn't drink any red bull so i don't know why.
i wish i had my dread extensions back.
5:51pm
good grief, had to go to 2 more stores.
spent 50 more bucks. augh.
eggs, cottage cheese, cheese, 2 red bulls, pre paid phone card to call jason
when i am in vegas, armall for my rubber dress for the photoshoot, bandaids,
mosquito repellant (cause i was out), super glue to fix some shoes (hopefully),
excedrin.
gonna go to jason's at 6:30pm to watch a movie.
now i am finally eating something (cottage cheese)
5:06pm
things i forgot to buy that i am
putting here as a note to myself:
superglue, bandaids, and stuff to make my rubber dress shiny
(looked it up and it has to be silicone based, and i think armorall is)
wow, the wind is really picking up outside!
4:35pm
jay holben has kept a blog of sorts
about making his documentary.
i didn't know!
here is is:
http://www.adakin.com/camgirls/
i have to say that after reading
it i feel SO much better about things because when they were here i had just
2 days prior, had a nervous breakdown about my mom and was pretty mentally
frazzled. so i thought i came across as a total spaz flake.
but i guess i didn't. so that is good! i feel a LOT better now *whew*
i feel great relief.
i hope he doesn't mind i'm going to cut and paste what he wrote about his
experience at my house from his journal (go to the link to read about his
whole road trip and all the camgirls!):
"October 21, 2004
Today was our first official shot of the documentary. We met with Ana Voog,
who I might add is a very unique person. We showed up at her apartment and
received the grand tour. Ana has quite the collection of interesting things,
not to mention her incredible artwork and hats. She also has 3 dogs that could
keep anyone entertained for hours; they are all quite the characters. After
getting better acquainted Ana informed us of her extensive music career. She
has made 4 albums that are all amazing and different at the same time. I guess
she used to be on Columbia Records, which did release her album, but nothing
much transpired from there. Her album is amazing, if she were to release it
now there is no doubt she would be on the radio right now. So we spent a good
amount of time listening to her music, and then we left to get some dinner
down the street. We ate at this great noodle shop, and during our dinner her
boyfriend came by to say hi. We all hung out for a bit then headed back to
the apartment. After some more interviewing we decided to head down to the
local pub for a beer and fries. On the way Ana noticed a briefcase lying in
the middle of the street. Being such a good girl she picked it up so we could
find the owner. The briefcase ended up being from the local Democratic Party,
and had checks and credit card numbers in it. So I would imagine someone was
definitely missing it. After the pub we met some people and headed over to
another bar, which was similar to a Hooters. Hung out there till closing then
went to the local after ours food place called Mickey’s, which is a
train caboose with that old 50s diner feel. We ate then headed back home,
and we left for our hotel.
October 21, 2004
Holy Crap!
It's days like today that remind me why I've dedicated a year of my life to this project thus far. Spending time with Ana Voog today was extraordinary. The first few hours with her was like a 3D look at the woman we see on webcam. A great ball of nervous energy who showed us her wonderful dogs, her many collections, all the while the mannequins were staring on with their silent watchful eyes...
But it was really beyond those initial hours that we got a chance to know Ana a little bit more. It further affirms my whole "agenda" here (if you can really call it that) - that camgirls are NOT just vapid airheads yearning for a buck while they flash their tits; they're real and incredibly complex and utterly fascinating real women. After spending a few hours talking with Ana in her room, we ventured out a bit on the town and saw immediately the incredible attention she gains from everyone around. Most people are respectful, like seeing a celebrity at a local diner, but some people are much more bold and we met some fascinating Minnesotans tonight.
Ana is vibrant, energetic and very open and warm with the people who approach
her curiously. She is a very complex woman, a deep thinker and a truly caring
soul. We're looking forward to our next day with her.
October 22, 2004
Today was a much more mellow day. The night before took it’s toll on
all of us, and especially Ana. So most of the day we just hung out in the
apartment and watched her go through her unique website. It was neat to see
her archived pictures from seven years ago. It’s kind of like going
through an old family album. We did the formal interview with Ana today, and
she was such a trooper. She still wasn’t feeling good from her late
night before, but you would have never have known that from the interview.
That basically summed up our day there. Like I said it was a pretty mellow
day.
October 22, 2004
Asses on Cam...
Our second day with Ana went wonderfully. Although she was feeling a little
rough around the edges from our excursion out the night before, we kept it
easy and relaxed and chilled at her place all day.
Ana's cam is one of the few 24/7 cams on the web (and indeed she was just the second camgirl to go 24/7 and is now one of the longest running cams online, and so there was an element of documenting the documentary. Ana herself was shooting some digital stills of us, while her cam was snapping away every 30 seconds capturing us circling her with the cameras and hanging on her every word. Visitors to Anacam.com will have seen one of our three buts shoved in the camera as we were relatively oblivious to her cam being there while we were spending time with her and, invariably, about 90% of the time one of the three of us wound up standing in front of it for a few minutes before realizing that the digital audience was getting an eyefull of our full-moon.
It was difficult saying goodbye to Ana as we had so much fun hanging with
her. I was very honored to hear, after she has had so many camera crews interviewing
her over the last seven years of her site's history, that she had a very unique,
fun and comfortable experience with us. It helps to assure me that we're on
the right track, with the right intentions. We're not there to be an intrusion
or to be scientifically cold in our examination of each interviewee. We're
looking to get to know each of them and, hopefully, get to understand them
a bit more in a more comfortable and natural way. Now we move on to the next
stop!"
---
so nice, huh? :)
*huge sigh of relief*
it sure is going to be interesting
to meet these other camgirls.
i don't know any of them!
4:33pm
this is really cool:
3:55pm
finally got to the drugstore and returned some stuff but then bought more.
nad's hair removal wax stuff (ouch)
NORMAL hair rollers
paper folder for taxes
paper clips for taxes
4 sharpies and 2 metallic markers (for autograhing things and writing on boxed
to send)
shampoo
ziplock baggies to stick my make up in , in case it leaks in my suitcase on
the plane, which it has been known to do.
mach 3 razor refills (i'm not putting that hair wax on my armpits, no way!
i'll shave that!)
tampons
hair bleach for my roots
false eyelashes :)
2 diet cokes
my medications (for migraines and anxiety)
409 to clean the kitchen and bathroom
garbage bags
total fucking cost $174.00
yikes.
it's 95 degrees but it feels like
over 100.
it's stifling. painful.
i'm not going to wax my legs to or do my roots until the weekend.
i'm going to work on the speakers now since i didn't get that done yesterday.
i want to go to the p.o. box but
it is seriously like an oven outside.
1:52pm
|
|
i had a crapy sleep with nervous
uncomfortable dreams.
i woke up at 9am with a full blown anxiety attack, i thought i was going to
throw up.
i took 2 xanax and laid back in bed trying to grasp onto some sort of calming
thought but my mind was just racing with nervous stuff.
finally the xanax kicked in and i was able to sleep for a few more hours.
there was sounds of construction outside and also some sort of terrible mexican
band which added to my nervousness.
i out my gun silencer headphones on.
now i'm feeling a little better but still a bit off kilter.
at 2:30pm jason has to go to the drugstore so i am going with him to get refills
on my prescriptions, some paper clips and some manilla envelopes to help me
sort through the heaps of paper that need to be sorted for my taxes.
those HAVE to get done this month. and that is all there is to it.
jay holbem , guy directing the documentary
i am in and reason i am going to vegas on monday, gave me more info on my
stay.
he said 3 people will meet me at the airport to bring me to the hotel.
ONE of these 3 people a cameraman! gah, so basically i guess he IS going to
follow me around with a camera the entire time i am there starting from the
very second i get off the plane. argh.
i will deal.
i have a lot to do to prepare for
this stay.
like figure out what to pack. i don't want to leave it to last minute.
so i really have to get on the ball with that and start working on my outfit
for the photo shoot. the lacey one.
but i'll also bring the rubber dress to fall back on.
never did get all the rhinestones i needed. i will try to clean the ones i
have somehow.
i guess i will buy a leg waxing kit today.
i think i could candle to do it if i don't do it in big strips at a time.
i'll see.
in 12 an hour i leave for the drugstore so i better get dressed for that.
i'm sure i will shake off my bad dreams as the hours pass today.
everything will be ok.
+++
Horoscope for Aries (August 2 2005)
A move or a change with your current living arrangement is necessary to alleviate some of the trouble you've been experiencing. Deal with each issue separately and don't feel pressured by anyone. If you aren't careful you will be taken advantage of.
and
At ease with yourself
This can be a very pleasant time. You feel at ease with yourself, benign and
rather self-indulgent, which is fine as long as you don't have work that must
be done. You feel that there is nothing you do not deserve, and you are likely
to buy some expensive pastime only to regret the cost later. Love relationships
will normally be smooth during this time, although a problem may arise if
you have a disagreement with a loved one or friend. Instead of defending your
own position when you have a perfect right to, you may compromise on issues
that really should not be compromised. If you have a difficult negotiation
to transact, avoid doing it during this time. The negotiation will succeed,
but the results will not be to your advantage.
and
If your creative juices have been stuck, now it's time to release them by returning to a project you've recently set aside. You'll be able to see things with a fresh perspective, but this doesn't mean that you'll be able to explain yourself to others. Just follow your intuition now, especially if it's telling you to look behind you.
and
for the week