july 27th , 2005

2:59am

people might be there now.
MAYBE ONE.
AN EARLY BIRD.
(caps lock, oops)
arrrrrrrrgh. i have never been SO frustrated not to see where i am "playing"
usually this doesn't bug me.
i'm used to it.
why now?

2:47am

*fiddling fiddling fiddling*

2:42am

less than 1/2 an hour!
now i need to set my alrm to shut OFF the "show" and go back to the live cam!

2:34am

i'm pretty much doing everything to keep myself awake (and sabotage it)
so, the time draws near.
i'm keeping track of the 4 random words above my cam.
anything to keep my mind upright...

randoms:

sugarcookie pink future anagram
anapix earthling falling internet
opal motivate truth queen
grasping insert top freeform
tingle watering soft fork
watering icecube sphere herself
empty falling create honey
shine hub forming hand
father faerie catapult instant
zero incubate trees after
fingering further spice come
loop with freeform cash
and commit egg pulling
dance delete core solve
empathize banana angel one
deiter collecting directing further

(he's on my lap right now!)

2:20am

for now:

http://www.anacam.com/x/

until i get it in ana2 in it's full format with fun mouseovers :)
you can see the "show" there in small format.
although it'll be on in less than an hour now.
but i think it's nicer to be able to click through the pictures at your leisure, i've decided.

 

1:11am

thingie, it's 1:11!
had to let you know :)

can i stay awake for 2 more hours?

i guess i could work on making this entire "thing" inot an anagram for tomorrow. that will take 2 hours at the LEAST.

1:02am

still up still up still up.
kind of excited about my sappy sensitive beginning.
it needed that.
i hope they don't throw boomerangs at me (haha :)
i jest. oh, god what is this on now?
elimidate?
i love all these "fusions" of words.
i wish i could come up with them all now. there are so many good ones lately.
(and "fusion" is a hot word this year in restaurants, i've noticed)

12:47am

(i'm just sticking this entry on todays entry even tho it's technically the next day.
yes, i took the entry i made below and made it be the introduction to my piece.
although i still could easily make it be at the end of it.
i feel better now because i wanted to add something even more personal (wordwise) to everything. and since i might be to sleepy at the end, i thought i'd add it in to the beginning.


11:54pm

got my jammies (vintage black slip) on, and lit all the candles and i'm watching sitcoms (will and grace) and just unwinding the part of me that needs unwinding but not too much that i fall asleep. i want to crawl into my inviting bed with the pup monsters but i sit in my desk chair to stay awake. but the bed...it does beckon.
just you watch , at 5am, when all of this is done, i will, ironically and maddeningly become fully awake. i just KNOW it!

i love that my horoscope said today:
"You've got too much energy today, so find a way to put it to good use."
i DID have a lot of energy and i DID put it to good use!
thank the universe the planets aligned for today for that.

i'm working on sending good vibes now into my project/show tonight.
i am "taking out of the law" any fear i had and sending it off like a little present with a bow to whoever is there to watch it.
whatever they get out of it, i hope it's something nice.
i hope the people there will email me and tell me what they thought.
i pray the atmosphere there will be calm yet invigorating, inviting and friendly. i hope conversations are started and people talk about things they never talked about before, in a good way.
maybe someone there tonight will meet the love of their life, or maybe someone will decide that tomorrow they are going to quit their crappy job and do what they love. or maybe they will just sit there for awhile, happily buzzed on coffee and then take off 1/2 through to go an an adventure somewhere.

are the chairs comfortable there? are they metal folding chairs or those curvy plastic kind? or..?

now i want to do a documentary of everything that walks into that room tonight. and why they went there. will people haphazardly happen upon this room where strange slides of a weird amercian woman are playing?
will they guffaw and stay 30 seconds and leave?
every person, even if they step one foot in the door, i want their story for the night. i wish i could have it.

i wish i could really talk to the people after the show and this wasn't so one way.
maybe it's more fun to imagine the people who might be there just like it might be more fun to imagine who i am, stopped in stillnesss every 30 seconds, yet they can hear my voice singing from years ago.

will people treat this as a film? a performance?
something ambient in the room to talk over?
i am flat projected upon a wall i have never even touched...
but i touch it with my body from the past...through pictures of light.

it's all so surreal.
i'm somehow the focus (perhaps) of some party of which i am not really even present.
but i'm trying so hard to imagine.

will it be mostly women there or mostly men or a mix of both?
will i be shamed for the one day i cut myself in all my life?
will people laugh that my nipples point in funny directions?
will anyone solve the puzzle?
will anyone care to and really laugh at how funny it is?
will they watch me sleep after or go to dinner?

now it's 3:12pm in the afternoon there,
is it cloudy or sunny?
isn't it winter there now?
i don't even know!

maybe i should make some jpegs of what i have just written now and add them to the end. or shall this just be an even deeper secret surprise to those who might dare to join ana2?

i think i WILL make jpegs of this text and add it to the end of my show...or maybe the beginning?
look, it's evolving even now.

11:30pm

i'm still awake! holy cow.
i'm trying to stay up, but just in case i nod off i've set my alarm for 2:30am and made it be a perky Blur song from their Parklife album to make sure it gets me up. i made it be very loud, too.

11:02pm

oh yay, i heard from them :) *sigh of relief*
i just needed to know that the things i needed xeroxed for the audience will be and they will and so cool.
i'll also be starting the show more like 10 after 3am CST because she said people tend to turn up late.

10:48pm

oh, and jason got my window shut!
yay! 3 cheers for jason! :)

10:30pm

i took a few pictures out and changed just a few things.
for one, i don't think i am going to have the energy at 5am to be up and at 'em and entertaining and pretty at all.
so after the show is over, i am just clicking right to the sleep cam.
i made a new picture explaining to them that it will be almost 5am for me when they see that, and that i wanted to show them more, but anacam is on 24/7 and they can just stop on by after i wake up. because it's not like they can't just go home to their computer and check it all out when i am awake. and i can answer any questions they have via email and stuff.
i did make 1 hour and 45 minutes worth of entertainment. and so, i think that should be sufficient and i did it for free, too!
i really do hope they are happy with it :) no one at the festival has contacted me today, so far, about my show, i hope everything is well there. it's almost 2pm there now. i'm sure they are super busy, too.
it's weird to be part of a giant festival ye i am way over here in my bedroom completely removed from it.
i wish i could get more of a sense of things. it's a strange feeling.
tomorrow i will make a big anagram with all the pictures in it for you ana2 members so you can see what i did at your leisure.
i might just have to take a nap now and set my alarm for 2:30am so i can be awake enough to turn on the show at 3am.

9:54pm

how will i stay up until 5am?
how ridiculous that i can so easily do it any other day.
but today i could just go to sleep right now.
i haven't had much sleep in 2 days.
i hope i catch my 2nd wind.
i usually do after 10...

9:28pm

ok, it just is what is it. i'm not going to change anything.
i have no control over how this will ftp over to the other side of the world.
it will be projected on a wall, there will be music, people will come with their friends, there will be an "atmosphere" of sorts, of which i have no control over. peole will come and go, talk over it, pay attention or not.
if they can't solve the puzzle they can come to my website and find the answer.
the pictures are nice. i worked really hard on it.
and so i just have to let go of it now and just let it happen as it's going to.

8:37pm

well, i'm glad i put my aloecam on to capture my show at the same time that i was watching it live.
because my aloecam saved all my photos and NONE were skipped, even tho in my BROWSER some were skipped. but ALL WERE ftped!!!
so what is up with that?
that si just a glitch i have no control over whatsoever.
and that really sucks.
because i bet by the time my cam image makes it across to the other side of the WORLD, there are some images that are going to get skipped! even tho all were totally ftped fine!
this sucks because i have no control over that.
and if words are skipped, the entire puzzle will be incomplete.
so.....
farg.
and i was going to say i should up the refresh to every 20 seconds, maybe even 15 seconds.
because i think to watch this for 1 hour and 45 minutes is really really long at 30 second refresh.
and i'd even like to take some images out to make it shorter. (but then again i knew what the next photo was going to be and so i didn't have any suspense, and so maybe it's different for people watching this the 1st time? plus, it's not like they can't talk amongst themselves while this is going on, and my music will be playing, too. i wish i knew how COMFORABLE this room is that this is going to be shown in)
but i'm really not sure if they can download it over there that fast, and if i make it even faster fresh, i have this feeling that is going to mean the likelyhood of even MORE images being skipped.
so...i don't really know what to do.

if i had one more day to work on this, like i thought i did have, i might be able to come up with some sort of solution.
but at this point. i really don't know what to do nor have the time to do it even if i knew what i wanted to do to fix this!

the only way to really do this RIGHT is to have a chatroom and have someone in australia tell me what image is on the screen so i can know if it made it there. come up with some sort of system with this person.
but there is not time for that and there is not chatroom. so....

i guess this is just going to be what it is and there isn't much more i can do about this.
i worked on it for 10 hours yesterday, and i've been working on this for 11 hours today.
and that doesnt count the hours i spent thinking it up, which was many many hours still.
what more can i do?

i guess all i can do at this point is pray to the internet gods to have mercy on me and to miraculously get all these pictures to australia. and i hope it just works out someway...somehow...

should i speed it up to every 20 seconds or would that just be foolish?
i wish i could get some sort of feedback from someone.
i don't even knwo if any of you watched that.
i have nothing to go on.
i feel kind of lost and i am so so so soooo tired.

i guess it's fitting that i am going to watch an episode of "lost" now. i need to take a break.

7:41pm

it's good i am previewing this because so far it has skipped 2 photos that had important words in them.
and there are 2 photos which are in the wrong order...

6:55pm

back from outside.
just so everyone knwos i will be playing the "taped" part of the show at 7pm CST (in 5 minutes)
on this cam:
http://www.ana2.com/private/anatest.shtml

if you miss it, don't worry, i'll archive it (or watch it at 3am)

for those who may be around to watch it from the beginning
here are the instructions:

you here to solve a puzzle.

here is what you must do to solve it.

each word you see, write down.
the letters in RED indicate special letters that, at the end will spell out a secret sentence for you to further decipher. so CIRCLE the red letters in the words that you write down.
backwards is your FIRST word. you will know when to start because you will see the cam image say "backwards". all the words a lyrics to my song called "backwards".

6:14pm

jason helped me work out the numbering thing.
so it SHULD play in order now.
i'm going to give it a test run through at 7pm CST, in case any of you want to watch it.
i think it should work.

today was day 3 of "atkins" but fuck that, i broke down and had a pepsi.
i need sugar today!

it's 9:14am in sydney right now, thursday for them.
so weird.

god if jason hadn't caught that i had the time all wrong and if i hadn't read his message to me when i woke up to pee this whole day would have been SO FUCT! thank god for jason!
and he helped me with the numbering thing.
thank god for jason! i love my man!

i need to get outside now and get some food.
then i will run the show at 7pm CST to see if ity works.
then i will mellow out and watch tv.
then i will get dressed and make myself presentable.
and then by that time i hope i will get a second wind so i can stay up until 5am.

i wish i could get a nap in there somewhere but i don't think it's going to happen unless it happen between 10pm and 2am, which i guess could be alright.

i just worked 8 hours nonstop without a break or eating.

5:42pm

still working on this numbering thing.

4:46pm

no, maybe it's that my chillcam is glitchy?
i just made 5 jpegs and named them
a.jpg
aa.jpg
aaa.jpg
aaaa.jpg
aaaaa.jpg

and it skipped right over the 4th one!
wtf?
it was all going in order..1...2...3....then 5!
fuck!

so what i am going to have to do is make one folder and somehow only put in ONE picture in there at a time.
then as soon as that one picture uploads, take it out and put in the 2nd picture!
and do this all by hand?
i don't even know if THAT will work! gah!

all i know is i need food NOW.
and so i have to tend to that 1st because my brain is melting and i am running on empty and then i will try and see
if the hand feeding idea will work. god, i hope so or else i do not knwo how to make these photos go in order!

4:37pm

ok, fuck. numbering the campix in order from 1 to 206 did not work.
i guess i need to make them alphabetical to make them go in order?
wtf?
argh.
i have to figure out a way to rename them all to make them go in order...

4:30pm

must get food...take a bath.....
all i've eaten today is a diet red bull and i am shaky and not really hungry. finished most everything, i think.
i just need now to get dressed and make a "set" for when i am live.

3:44pm

i've been working nonstop since i got up to make this show.
no rest for the weary.
i'm getting there.
i still have a lot to do but i have gotten a ton done!
holy crap.
i can't believe it's 4pm, that doesn't even make sense.
i haven't even noticed the time.
i just had a red bull and have been working like a dog.
i hope i didn't screw anything up.

i think i may just play the "taped" portion of the show in ana2 only all day just t see if it runs ok
and is in the right order. this way all of you don't have to stay up to watch it either.
although after the "taped" part, i will go live after it has finished around 4am or whenever it's gonna finish.

so if you see pictures right now that don't seem to make much sense to you....that is what is going on.
i need to see if this works.

i told the curator, katherine to xerox this off for the people

"hello, i am ana voog
from my universe to yours, welcome!

you here to solve a puzzle.

here is what you must do to solve it.

each word you see, write down.
the letters in RED indicate special letters that, at the end will spell out a secret sentence for you to further decipher. so CIRCLE the red letters in the words that you write down.
backwards is your FIRST word. you will know when to start because you will see the cam image say "backwards". all the words a lyrics to my song called "backwards".


after the puzzle is over, on the doodle or write me some words on your paper, because i want to know who you are!
scan it and email it to me at anavoog@gmail.com
i will post them all on my website, which is anacam.com
click on the X when you get there, that will be the secret link.
and also go to my website later to download the song my song "backwards" (and all my songs) for free!
i invite you to interact!

thank you so much for coming!

cheers,
ana clara voog

"

i need to make an X that people can click on and make a page for that x!

and i'm keeping an eye on the time here:

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/



10:48am

yes, it seems that in sydney, australia right now it is 1:48am thursday for them.
which means that in 14 hours is my show? since i am on there at 6pm?
i thoiught i had all today to work on this, then all tomorrow until 3am.
but no.
i was wrong.
i am so depressed and nervous.

10:30am

woke up to pee. fuck.
jason thinks i may have had it wrong and it's not 3am tomorrow night i have might show but 3am TONIGHT. as in 14 1/2 hours from now. (if i added even THAT correcty, i don't know, i am very groggy)
i thought i was 15 hours ahead of australia but he says i am 15 hours behind? CST?
fuckity fuck fuck.
which means i have 24 hours less than i thought to create what i was going to create which means i have to rethink everything.
*nervous*
thissss rrrreeeaallllyyyyyy suckssssssss.

3:21am

time for beddy bye.

2:47am

found the inxs rock star lj community which had a link to dave navarro's blog.
so i went there out of curiousity since i hadn't seen it for a few years.
saw this entry:

July 19, 2005
Tuesday Morning
Recently Finished Box Set of Episodic Television: "Rescue Me" - Highly recommended
Rockstar: INXS - Tonight, another performance show.

1. Dave, what happened to Ana Voog?

God, I don't know. We lost touch several years ago. If anyone has an update I'd love to hear it.

___

strange to me he chose to put that question up in his journal and answer it!


anyway, found that interesting.
i wonder if anyone will "update" him.
oh, i see someone did:

For the person asking about Ana Voog, she's still around.

Her website is still up. She still has the 'pay' section of the site as well as the free areas.....such as her photo archives.

She also has 2 live journals.

http://www.anacam.com/anaframesn.html
http://www.visi.com/%7Exanax/archive/archive.html
http://ana.livejournal.com/
http://anavoog.livejournal.com/

Posted by: itanja | July 19, 2005 12:10 PM

+++

so i actually made a comment in his blog:

email me if you'd like. sorry you're feeling under the weather. that sucks!
it's strange, i looked up to find the inxs lj community tonight (love the show! love jordis and ty!) and it had a link to your blog so i followed it, and was surprised you still blogged! very cool :)
and then doubly surprised that you said you'd like to hear an update about me. if you'd like, i'll be happy to fill you in with my latest escapades.
did u know that A&E doc you were in that had me in it was finally released?
also been in a few more documentaries. doing multimedia events, one for australia on thursday, still doing my cam (8 years now), and oddly i have been obsessed with crocheting very avant garde hats! it's very meditative :) and i'm working on a gazillion other projects including new music.
http://www.anacam.com/hats/
let me know if you'd like me to make you a funky hat (or other one of a kind crocheted item...although i am getting into sewing, too. :) i'd be pleased to make you a custom one! (although they are not everyone's cup of tea!)

cheers,
ana voog

Posted by: Ana Voog | July 27, 2005 01:17 AM

===

i doubt he'll write back.
he seems massively busy. i don't even know if he reads all his comments.
but ya, weird to go there and see my name mentioned after all this time.
i hope he does email, tho because i'd really like to make him a hat!
although i don't know if my hats are quite his style.


1:37am

 

fuckin' a! (don't i start everything out that way lately it seems?)
i can't shut my window in my bedroom!
the window i could not open can now not be closed!
it is wide open and CANNOT shut it. it will NOT budge no matter what!
so i have to sleep the the frickin' window open all night!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please god wtf up with my windows? just let ONE of them WORK!

new music by bjork (thanks fuzzy):

http://unit.bjork.com/specials/dr9/

i have not had any carbohydrates in 2 days (ok, i have had a TINY bit today which might fuck shit up, oh well).

got the pix down to 456.
might as well tell u what i am up to.
and i hope it works.

2 hour cam show , 1 pic every 30 seconds equals 240 pictures.
so i am trying to get it down to 200 pictures from the last 3 years that go with the words from backwards (my song)
i will have 20 pix live at the beginning and 20 minutes live at the end.
as you see the words you write them down in this special paper.
certain letters will be pointed out to you that make up an extra secret sentence at the end.
going through the last 3 years of pix, getting them to 640 by 480 pixels, and then i must add the words.
i might somehow try to do 1 archived pic with one live pic alternating which will take me have to write out 100 words and set them around my house accordingly but that seemed a monumental task.
but i might do it.
1 archived photo mixed mixed with one live photo...alternating every 30 seconds.
each hour this thing evolves and all i hope is that it will work out.
there will be a page at the end where i ask you questions and you can either give me words or pictures and then send them to me and i will make a webpage of this.

this sounds simple but it is NOT. and i hope that after all this work it will be cohesive.
but when i am ever cohesive?
whatever it is it is.
in the end it ends up being it's own organic beast.
i've never done a show that was pre planned or had a "meaning (that i was conscious of at the time) so this is very different for me to do and so i am nervous.
i have a LOT to d more than just get these pictures to make sense in some sort of narrative, but...ohmigod, i cannot even explain it.
as usual, as my life is, it's a sticky webby mess of an anaimal and i guess that it part of it's charm.
i'm awkward.

i'm trying something new. i hope it works.
i have always detested have a plan before hand, and i hope this does not backfuire on me.
if i don;t feel i've done a good job, at least this will make for a great mouseover art piece for ana2 and i will end up doing the australian show completely live.
i don't think the people coming to my show in australia are familiar with my work. and it's frustrating tha they will not understand the importance to me for each picture. but i hope they will find it relative to THEM. i'm trying to give a somehwhat well rounded picture of anacam (the photo side) ...actually i don't know what the fuck i am foing , as usual, but it's {mostly" worked for me in the past to go with what feels right and so far this does.
so balancing the right amount of art without being pretentious and still having a sense of fun and play is hard, but it should be easy.
in the end i know it will all fall together like a weird soup.

that's all i can say for now.

i wish i could shut my window.
i like silence to sleep.

police sirens.

of course for the live bits i will dress up to the hilt (i hope)
it's sort of preplanned but there is also room for spontaneity.
i'm leaving room for anything to happen that night.
and maybe the live bit will go on later.

as usual, i want to be incredibly verbose about this.
yet i must distill it.
a challenge for me.

i wonder what my dream will bring tonight?

please universe let thet be HAPPY or let me not remember them at all.

 

+++

Horoscope for Aries (July 27 2005)

You've got too much energy today, so find a way to put it to good use. Getting out socially or doing something that will give you a new look will do you a world of good. A new challenge will lead you in an unusual direction.

and

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Have you been dreaming of frogs,
worms, and potted plants? Researchers have found that pregnant women have
an inordinate number of encounters with those three things during
their sleep-time adventures. And while you may not technically be
carrying a developing baby inside you, you are at least gestating a
brainchild. Like a woman who will give birth in the not-too-distant future, you're
both delicate and strong, a bit lumbering but radiantly graceful,
sometimes out of sorts but often wiser than you've ever been.

i have been dreaming of a TON of frogs!

and

Balance and serenity
This is a time of inner peace and balance. You have the serenity to look into yourself and come to a deeper understanding of what you want, what you need and how you should go about getting it. You try to live through your feelings as well as your intellect, and you communicate with others at both levels. Since you understand your own moods and feelings so well today, you are also in a good position to assist others in understanding themselves. Through your relationships, particularly those with the your partner, you will come to know yourself better than at most other times. Since this is a time of balance and equilibrium, you should study your personal life and find out how to correct any misunderstandings and difficulties with other people. Today you are able to make the compromises necessary to getting along with others.

and

Cool your heels, Aries, and slow down, even if you feel like you've walked into the "Last Chance Café." You have more time than you realize, so don't hit the brakes because you must; do it because it feels good. Take time to appreciate the sweeter things in life, like a visit with friends or a leisurely walk on the calmer side of the street

(that's really funny because i was just talking about "last chance cafe" in portal north dakota and how i feel so compelled to go there still.