july 25th , 2005
past anagrams	menu	utb

11:33pm

on my google toolbar on my browser it had a new icon that said "new" and i thought "wtf?"
so i clicked it thinking it might be some weird adware that got on my computer somehow but it was google asking me if i would like to install this new feature to my toolbar that will allow google to access my entire computer and scan everything on it in case i want to find something to email someone. like it will do the search for me (just like you can use the search feature in windows to search for anything on your hardrive). ya, like i am too lazy to use the windows search feature and i want GOOGLE to read and scan EVERYTHING on my computer?

NO THANKS.

that is massively creepy. big brother masking itself as "helpful".
*totally creeped out*

10:49pm

10:29pm

ok, so i came up with the basic concept to what i want to do on thursday night (friday morning)
and then i had to figure out HOW to excecute this concept.
and now i think i have figured that out, basically, but now the tough work of actually doing the work to make this concept be a reality! ah! so much work to do!

how does one make a pdf file? is that hard? what do i need to do it?
if i sent one of you giant gifs is there anyone here who would know how to turn them into pdf files that could be printed out?

i need to set my alarm for 9am so i can clean off everything from my windows and also take all the bedding off my bed.
i realized since i pushed my bed right up to my windows, the maintenance guys are going to have to be standing on my bed in their dirty work boots to put in my window. ack!

and i need to get tired even tho i got up at 2pm so i can get up early for this window thing. but at the same time my mind is whirling with so many ideas and it's going to take many hours of work for the next 2 days to complete these ideas. and i'm still not QUITE sure as to the method i will take to complete it.
there are 2 methods i am thinking of. but now i have just thought of a third! and mayeb a combination of all 3 methods but HOW.

*thinks thinks thinks*

 

9:26pm

reminder to self:

UV green Kryolan Aquacolor

6:39pm

tried to work on scarves but the thunder made all the dogs scared and they huddled into me.
so i watched part 2 of "guns, germs, and steel" from pbs taped from last week and just made sure the pupsters were comforted.

now i'm just going to watch "so you think you can dance?" taped from last week, too.
and hopefully the thunder will end soon.

4:48pm

listening to animal collective "sung tongs".
this cheers me up :)

it's really pouring out there now.
i guess i don't much feel like getting COMPLETELY soaked.
so i am staying inside.

jason is on his way home.

i will work on more scarves to sell and think more about my show and how to make it work.

4:15pm

it looks like it's going to bust out raining any minute. it keeps getting darker and darker.
so maybe i won't be doing a lot of walking outside after all.
i feel in a total fog today. i can't remember any of my dreams but litle fractions of a second of them will keep jarring my brain every few minutes making me feel topsy turvsy and trying to remember what it was i was dreaming.
i do knwo i woke up with huge frown lines so it was intense, as usual.
i wish botox wasn't so damned expensive. i did try it out many many years ago and it worked like a charm. NO frown lines. and yes, i COULD make many expressions and still look angry. i just had no frown lines between my eyes.
the maintenance guy just knocked on my door and here i am in the nude so i talked to him through the door.
tomorrow at 10am they are coming over here to put in my window! yay!
but not yay as it's 10am. and that is damn early for me now.
i hope they can fix the OTHER window , too, that they "fixed" last time they were here.
because i haven't been able to open or close it since they "fixed" it. and that was the ONLY window in this entire apartment that i COULD open. and i would really love some fresh air in here!
i guess i will go to the p.o. anyway even tho it looks like i will get caught in the rain.
i wil mail the scarves since i can out those in a waterproof carrying case.
but the posters will have to wait until another day because i have nothing to put them in and i don't want any water getting on them.

i wonder how jason is doing today. i IMed him hours ago but haven't heard a peep from him whuch is very unusual.
i sure hope his day is going ok.

i think what i need is some caffeine and to get a move on. i need t get outside even if it's rain and mail something and WALK, even if it's not a huge walk. it will be good for me to "shift" into the outdoor reality and get me out of this really inward mood i am in. i am deeply thinking about so many things it's realy hard for me to not just "daydream" this day away especially since the sky is so heavy and dark with water.

i am trying REALLY hard not to go on a huge rant about that lj community crochet_snark.
i am just....busting at the seams with the grossness of it.
and it just reminds me of the movie Heathers and these horrible bitchy women who are just bullies.
and i cannot even look at the crochet community now without someone mentioning it, or someone telling me about it.
so it's been kind of hard to ignore so far.
these people are just UGLY. making fun of crochet projects that people did when they were 13 years old!
and then when these people feel hurt, they go after them AGAIN and make fun of them even further.
i am really just...exceptionally disgusted at the ugliness of this community and the moderator and her little pack of crochet nazis at her side.
they are all about crochet being "tidy and neat" with all the end tucked in "correctly" and all this bullshit.
i swear to god these people need a giant soul enema. it's just so...fucked up.
and i'm trying to just rise above it and not care and just move on to other stuff, but this just pushes my buttons in the worst way possible.
and that woman moderator is telling everyone my hats aren't made well and what i do isn't even freeform crochet!
WTF?
she has NEVER even touched or owned or seen one of my hats in her life, and it truly makes me sick that she is dissing on the quality of my work.
i could give a rat's ass if she thinks my hats are ugly, but they ARE well made.
and then to say what i do isn't even CROCHET? that doesn't even make SENSE.
i hope that by just writing this here i can fucking move on with my day. but truly, i am really bothered by this.
and bothered by the way these people are going after other people like a bunch of rabid pack animals.
making people afraid to post their crochet in the crochet comunity or they will ge made fun of.
over a project they did when they were 13! i mean COME ON!
what the fuck is wrong with people?
they say they are doing this to "raise the quality of crochet"
well, up yours with an S hook. fuck, some people do this for fun not because they have some sort of anal retentiveness disorder.
crochet isn't the fucking marines where we need to get whipped if what we make is not "perfect, symmetrical, neat and tidy".
and now this girl has started another community called "yarn standards". she is the one who obsesses on me and has so called "files" on me and makes up lj's just to get back on my frineds list and makes up these way over the top lies about me. i unfriended her because she thinks it's ok to call african americans "niggers".
now SHE, who i don't think has ever spun yarn in her life that i knw of, is starting this "yarn standards" community no doubt so they can diss on pluckyfluff's yarn or anyone else who makes unusual yarn that wasn't made to withstand a storm in the caspian sea.


augh, i am trying to just let this go. but i am having a very difficult time doing that , for some reason.
i am just *this close* to unfriending anyone who belongs to that community or associates themselves with anyone that takes part in that community.
really, i am so close.
i just don't want that kind of horrid soul sucking meanness around me!
ok *tries to shake it off again*

it's raining out now but i am still going to get ready to go outside.

3:30pm

found all the addresses. fried egs and ate them.
i am thinking of doing atkins for the next 3 days just so when i have my show i am not bloated or anything.
but i'll see if i can deal with that. but it's only 3 days, and 3 days wouldn't be so bad.
and then i have tons of things to get done with that. like make all these cards that say things. because there isn't going to be any chatroom and i want to be able to say things to my audience but i don't to keep running to the computer to change the caption and say it that way.
ok, off to do the anacam biz.
and then a bath and then to the p.o.
and then to the little store for some diet cokes.
and maybe jason will want to walk with me today? it's cloudy and 82 so that is not unpleasant to walk in.

2:39pm

i have lots to do today. the #1 thing i am going to try to do is get to that darn p.o.
i have to find everyone's addresses so i can send them their stuff.
everything is buried somewhere in my email.
disorganized me.
i woke up at 2pm today! bah! i hate that!
but i suppose the only good side of it is i am getting more on australian time. because my show their on thursday is at 6pm (for them) but 3am (for me).

+++

Horoscope for Aries (July 25 2005)

Get into the swing of things. You will be in step with what's going on around you and should be able to finish whatever you set out to do. Idle time will be your enemy.

and

High energies
Your ego energies are high, which means that you can stand up for yourself against almost anyone today. You have great confidence and will not easily allow someone to take advantage of you. Unfortunately this may also mean that you will get into fights and arguments. Try to remember that other people have egos too. You don't have to defeat others in order to maintain yourself. You should be especially careful in your dealings with supervisors. They will not expect you to be as assertive toward them as you are likely to be today. You have a great deal of physical energy also, which means you can work hard and long. If you use these energies intelligently, you should be able to accomplish far more worthwhile work than on other days.

and

You may not have enough free time on your hands to enjoy yourself as much as you wish. It feels as if the clock is ticking, summer is passing you by, and you are missing your chance to play in the sun. You can't escape the responsibilities you already accepted, but you can create short breaks in your workweek to attend to more personal needs.

+++

what i wrote to my mailing list:

i have a 2 hour cam show coming up on the 28th for teknikunst, in australia.
http://www.teknikunst.com/
a mutimedia event celebrating/exploring art and flesh meets
technnology in all its mediums!
read about all the performers/artists here:
http://www.teknikunst.com/TekniKunst-program.pdf
i'm very proud to be a part of such a spectacular event which lasts
several days!
if you can't be there for the show in australia (and i sure wish *I*
could be there in the physical to see everyone!) you can take part by
joining ana2 and see the whole thing and participate! it will all be
archived, as well.
http://www.ana2.com
or join for a 1 time nonrecurring membership at
http://www.ana2.com/anamart/
the show will take you on a hunt for hidden treasure as we, together,
explore the hidden world and solve puzzles within ourselves and the
world.... where cyber meets flesh and where questions lead to more
mysteries.
in the end, your discoveries will be (if you wish it) posted on my
site as an art piece in and of itself!
so if you want to get in one the fun and take part in a performance
art show, the likes of which i have never done, please join ana2 and
take part and show your support!

cheers,
ana

http://www.anacam.com (the internet's 1st 24/7 artlife webcam!)
http://www.ana2.com (private cam, private journal)
http://ana.livejournal.com (public journal)
http://www.anacam.com/hats (my hats!)
http://anavoog.livejournal.com (hat journal)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/anacam (photo club!)
http://anavoog.deviantart.com (more of my art)
<-THIS IZ A TRANCE MISSION FRUM THEE VOOG MUTHERSHIP->

(and yes i realize they rewrote my bio a little bit wrong, saying i was the 1st 24/7 webcam ever to be broadcast world wide.
oops! i was the 1st "art"cam, the 2nd 24/7 homecam, and trojan coffee pot was actually the 1st webcam to be broadcast 24/7 world wide (even tho it was just aimed at a coffeepot).
oh well! the rest of it was good.
look at all the cool performers and stuff they are going to have there!! it all looks so interesting!
i wish i could physically go and be there and see it all! look at the pdf file!)

p.s. so if you already a member of ana2 this would be a good time to buy your friend a gift subsciption! :)