| july
17th , 2005 |
||
11:18pm
done thinkiing for the day. done
thinking for awhile!
gonna crawl into bed now.
10:33pm
http://www.glastonberrygrove.net/reference/annesexton/
anne sexton!
gonna look into her more!
9:51pm
damn you, matt, for making me think
more thoughts (in the under
the bed post "do you like our owl?")! :)
which is a bladerunner reference for those not in the know.
in bladerunner runner a replicant named rachael (spelled just like me legal
name, how cool) has an artificial owl.
and ya, that probably is what started me on every single fascination i still
now have (mannequins, androids, owls, futurism meeting urban decay and stuff
from the 40's..it pretty much impacted my entire life)
so i go look up this owl thing which brings me to athena who i guess IS an
owl and also this owl is also named sophia (which i just named the mannequin
that sat on top of my piano Sophia because it felt right after btripp suggested
it).
so that is another little connection there.
so my mannequin (bought because i love bladerunner), and my owl story and
the silver owl i bought so i could be rachael saying "do you like our
owl?" when people walk in my house. ha :)
which, i guess, so far i have never done, but just the thought that i COULD
makes me happy :)
but it's weird because athena is the owl and the owl in athena.
which is how i felt when i felt i was the owl (but i was a sad owl...not the
kind from the athena mythology)
and it also remided me of the other bladerunner quote from rachael which rings
so true for me "i'm not in the business. i am the business."
and i guess you'd just have to be a bladerunner fan to get that and also have
read my back journals extensively to get how that applies to my life.
ok, that was a completely disjointed paragraph that probably know one will
benefit from other than me.
i just needed to write that down for myself.
how this owl that is athena fits
into this whole "bohemian grove" thing is another subject entirely.
now THAT is warped.
and then in twin peaks we have the whole owl theme.
i watched the movie of that for the
1st time since it came out the other night and GOD it WAS awful.
the most godawful disjointed movie i have ever seen!
still it stirred in me all this emotion from that time period of my life because
i was a twin peaks FANATIC.
it was so good in the beginning and then just went downhill fast.
just googled twin peaks owl and got this WEIRD page. wtf?
http://www.glastonberrygrove.net/texts/accessguide.html
who so much info on twin peaks here:
http://www.glastonberrygrove.net
it was such a brilliant premise.
too bad it just deteriorated into a soap opera by the end.
i'd really love to watch twin peaks, the beginning episodes, tho.
wow, they had me hooked. it was the most insane thing to ever be on tv besides
the prisoner.
i also think it had a huge impact on things like CSI.
it was the 1st television show i had seen which had a dead body (and made
it kind of creepy and glamorous)
and where forensics were shown (that i know of) in a detailed way...such as
the letter T stuffed under laura palmer's fingernail.
the stylized way of showing this. very CSI.
it's hard to believe that the MOVIE was 13 years ago!
anyway...david lynch is really interested
in masonic stuff ,too.
(the owl, the black lodge, jupiter and saturn)
i'd love to sit down with him someday and talk about it all.
who knows? weirder things have happened. it could happen! why not?
___
words with owl in them (just because i was hitting ctrl F trying to find the word owl in huge pages:
knowledge
acknowledge
lowly
slowly
bowl
please tell me more words you come
across, purely for the heck of it.
btw, BOWL is this week's theme in photocontest!
9:05pm
the CUTEST puppy photos! gah! *dying from the cuteness factor*
8:56pm
http://www.kieselstein-cord.com/manchu_foo_dog_buckle.htm
i so want this fu dog belt buckle!
and what is so cool about it is it reminds me of pooka when he plays with
the obsidian orb i have.
and pooka is OBSESSED with that orb. you have no idea. it's like crack to
him.
i totally have to somehow draw pooka as a fu dog playing with the obsidian
orb...but i really want it to be in the style of something jim
woodring would draw. something betty boopish and surreal.
8:38pm
fascinating tattoo blog:
8:32pm
 |
just a warning to all the people
who might read all the text below (and start from the bottom up)
that if you aren't into numerology, reincarnation, tarot, dream analysis,
and all sorts of other stuff like that, you are probably going to think everything
i've written today sounds bizarre, to say the least :)
7:56pm
mark
ryden just expresses everything
in my brain so perfectly.
i don't even have to paint because he just paints it for me!
ha :)
although there is a painting i want to do, but actually i want to commision
is. i'd love saturno
butto
to paint it. i wish i had the $ to have him do it.
but i want it to be like one of those old royal oil piantings of families.
i want to sit in a throne like chair with an elizabethan collar and have the
dogs by my side.
i'd like them to be depicted as fu dogs and sebastian can be the lucky cat
with his paw raised.
and then a whole bunch of other symbolic imagery in there.
i should at least sketch it out someday and at least give it a start.
7:52pm
now the rain has passed.
7:40pm
wow, all of a sudden, practically
out of the blue a HUGE downpore of rain, thunder and lightning is happening!
woo hoo!
i kind of want to go run outside in it :)
all the dogs are hiding under my desk.
7:15pm
i won't even try to desribe to you
how i was now brought about to the poem "the owl and the pussycat"
by edward lear.
but it's such a cool poem, i want to post it here:
The Owl and the Pussycat
The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
but that poem kind of inspired me
to draw this many years back.
i never did get it really right. but at the time i wanted to do a series of
sad owl paintings.
i had this image/feeling in me of this owl in a small boat, lost at sea, remaining
ever vigilant to keep an eye for land or something, so this owl could never
sleep, and he was totally vulnerable and so small in this huge ocean.
i knew i was the owl and whenever i would think of this owl, i would burst
into tears.
it was the strangest thing. it was completely taken over by this owl and how
the owl felt, and it's terrible sorrow and loneliness and feeling of unsafety
and being lost and it's utter vigilance to not sleep and remain ever on alert
for land or help.
it was just bizarre, like my heart felt i was connected to some dreamworld
and the owl and i were one and i shared it's pain.
i think it was just because i was so stressed out at that time in my life.
my stress and sadness made itself a symbol, a story of this owl.
then it passed...and now i have no need to draw sad owls anymore.
i only drew this one.
i really wish i could have gotten the painting out the way i still see it
in my head.
if anyone could paint it correctly it would be mark
ryden
i really sound like a complete loon
today :)
but wow, i learned so much!
6:56pm
i like this about medusa, this is what i thought of her when i drew her:
"The snakes about Medusa's head are the awakened Kundalini energy, having risen from the base of the spine to the skull. The Kundalini Shakti is the Goddess energy. Medusa is the Kundalini. She is the Snake Mother.
Yet, She has formed of this living energy a curtain, a veil that hides Her from a world not ready to bear witness to Her. This curtain is Maya, the veil of illusion that creates an artificial perception of separation between the world and the Divine.
And the curtain does indeed hiss. When you are quiet and your thoughts settle, you begin to hear a soft sound seeming to issue from the base of your skull. Initially, it sounds like a creaking or crackling noise, a white noise, a sort of a hissing. The deeper you go into silence, the more the sound resolves itself. Eventually, you recognize it permeating your whole body and all things.
You must pass through this hissing curtain in order to meet the deep truth waiting for you on the other side.
Medusa's eye does not blink. She stares boldly out and sees Reality as it is. She sees it plainly, fearlessly, and without interruption. There is no pause for interpretation or "filtering." Medusa's truth is raw. She is the Divine Mother who sees all of Her Creation in every living instant.
Looking in Medusa's eye, what is it that you see reflected? Yourself, of course. And this truly is shattering, for you see the truth of yourself. You see the falseness, the unreality of your little self, your social self, your named self, your ego self. That little self is a phantom, a mental creation only.
Medusa, in her shattering wisdom, does not protect you from this realization. Her love for you will not allow you to struggle on with such a false notion holding you back from your true nature.
Seeing this truth, you die. The little self dies.
But, in dying to the little self, your true nature suddenly shines forth. The real Self, which is one with the Divine, emerges. Every aspect of yourself that felt broken and you labored so long to heal, is suddenly made whole; in fact, you realize nothing was ever broken. That sense of incompleteness was the result of denying the vastness you truly are while clinging to the illusion of the little self.
This is Medusa's gift to Her children. This is Her terrible wisdom. It is the truth that blesses you through death, and then gives you greater life than you had previously imagined possible."
how perfect then that i drew her with a mirror!
and here:
http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/classes/finALp.html
Sovereign female wisdom. The female mysteries. All the forces of the primordial Great Goddess: The Cycles of Time as past, present and future. The Cycles of Nature as life, death and rebirth. She is universal Creativity and Destruction in eternal Transformation. She is the Guardian of the Thresholds and the Mediatrix between the Realms of heaven, earth and the underworld. She is Mistress of the Beasts. Latent and Active energy.
Connection to the earth. The union of heaven and earth. She destroys in order to recreate balance. She purifies.
She is the ultimate truth of reality, the wholeness beyond duality. She rips away our mortal illusions. Forbidden yet liberating wisdom. The untamable forces of nature. As a young and beautiful woman she is fertility and life. As crone she consumes by devouring all on the earth plane. Through death we must return to the source, the abyss of transformation, the timeless realm. We must yield to her and her terms of mortality. She reflects a culture in harmony with nature.
again with the connecting the heaven with earth thing! very very cool!
6:52pm
in my attempts to learn more about
medusa, i was brought to this
BIZARRE page
i don't even know WHAT to make of that!
all i know is i certainly cannot take it in and my eyes start to grow weary
when anyone starts talking about freud.
5:19pm
oh, and also 22 is a circle, for
some reason. in numerology...and i still haven't figured out WHY on that.
so of anyone knows, please tell me.
(oh
wait i think i figured it out
the fool is 22 and also 0 in the tarot. it represents both the beginning and
the end.)
i just went to:
(and i can't read it...i will try
the altavista translator thing later)
but i was really struck how it's symbol on it's front page:
translation from part of the site
about "ing"
"One of the gods whom this belief knows is Fro Ing, also Inguz. This
is a god of peace and abundance, which works inspiring. Ingwaz are also a
rune, and the rune of the inspiration, which ensures deeper insights and creative
capacities. And that is exact reach what I (the writer) hope with this site"
is remarkably echoing of my drawing i did for my cd, spool forka dish:
of which i STILL can't understand , completely the symbolism of it, but all my other drawings i did, have each become more meaningful to me in these last few years. when i draw i just do it completely intuitively and i don't usually have a complete reason for drawing them. i mean i do a little bit but a lot of it is just...there..and i draw it and don't ask why. but in the last few years how these drawings have related to my life and the world is astounding to me.
but so far i have been, what is the
deal with these heads without bodies flying in the air?
well, now that i know that ingwaz is the number 22, and i see these swans
kind of make a 22 (but even more symmetrical as one of the 2's is backwards)
, i see that my drawing is ALSO a 22, with one of the 2's backwars to make
it symmetrical.
so far the meaning of the drawing,
for me, has been "2 higher consciousness's meeting in the higher realms
and communicating...and because of their communication 3 butterflies emerge.
butterflies are representing reincarnation and 3 is the number of creation.
so when 2 people get toegther or 2 things come together...then a 3rd thing
arises.
like a man and a woman making a child.
it has also meant that these 2 heads were both me, as in twins. (which i have
always had almost an obsession with and weirdly, a psychic told me, without
knowing a thing about me, that there was a twin of me that did not get born
and her name is ana and that is why i renamed myself).
so i guess in that respect, it would be like here are 2 souls which are identical
or complementary to each other, hacing a conversation about being born (reincarnated)...and
that drawing depicts this conversation between my twin and i about being born.
but now i have this whole new "ingwaz"
thing to add to that because of the 22!
*my mind of going so fast right now i cannot even get this all down*
here is my drawing about the diamonde dream:
you can see the rune in there, and
i drew that YEARS before i ever knew about runes.
the words "luck luck" make up the rune in the middle.
or luck reflecting itself (again with the reflections)
the word dia is in the 2 butterflies and the star. (the A is a triangle, the
I is also a #1.)
the cup, to me, means the well from which creativity comes. which is weird
as i just wrote that because i just read a minute ago that ingwaz can also
be considered "the treasure hidden in the well" (which made me go,ooooo!
because you know i am alswyas saying i search for hidden treasure!)
the snake coming out symbolizes wisdom (because i had a dream about snakes...that
is another long story, and the snakes meant wisdom)
the word "monde" the french word for "world", is the dish.
the snake could also be seen as kundalini,
and also twirling like a whirling dervish (der-dish!)
why 1 star and 2 butterflies, i don't really know.
here is my drawing "gaishamadoosa"
in the mirror it says "blessed is the divine whore" which is also
reflected and symmetrical.
why i am combining the greek myth of medusa with a japanese geisha is still
not known to me.
i just liked it so i went with it. but now that i am realizing there is so
much symbology in these drawings for me, i surely am going to investigate
this further!
(i feel like i am uncovering the da vinci code in myself here, ha!)
this last drawing "look! said
the king", was a mystery to me until a few years ago.
i actually drew this 2 times.
i finally figured out that *I* am the king and that is what i have been doing
all my life is saying "look!"
look at this , look at that, my life is like a giant show and tell.
i mean, look at anacam!
so the king is headless here again which represents only the mind, he is blindfolded
by a ray from an eye.so because he is physical blinded he must use his inner/outer
eye to see.
and the ray of the eye also is something that goes into him and also something
he says (sings?)
the outer eye is more like an inner eye (one and the same) and it's just...i
guess, ultimate wisdom of the universe.
out of one of the rays of the eye comes a physical hand outstretched and handing
to the viewer a spinning top (a whirling dervish!) made from a spool, a fork,
and a dish. (spool forka dish was the name of the record)
i think this means the eye (the unseen knowledge of the spiritual world) is
creating through singing and speaking, a physical thing (a top made from ordinary
mundane everyday objects), but this spinning top, even tho made from made
from everyday mundane objects, if spun and balanced correctly, is capable
of spinning back and connecting to the "source" (the eye), the hand,
tho physical also remains open in it's middle, it has it's own portal for
which the spoolforkadish manifetss through and back again.
kind of weird i took up spinning yarn now, it occurs to me, as this is basically
a drop spindle, too!
the fork has 4 prongs meaning it is firmly placed in the physical world. and
the thread passes through that.
there is more to it than even that, but now i am actually exhausted about
thinking about this and talking about this!
this was the 1st time i drew it (these are 2 colour zeroxes put together of it, i don't have the origina anymore, i sold it)
i drew this one while working at
ragstock, the retail clothing i store i worked at for 8 years.
i had no idea why i drew it at the time. all i knew is that i was trying to
say that wisdom and plenty will come if you look into UFOs. and that is a
whole OTHER story in and of itself!
i made the eye, the ufo and the mouth
of the cup all the same shape to show that it was important to make a connection
between all these things. and that, indeed, the ufo, the eye, and the cup
were the same thing, in fact.or a trinity or sorts. the father, son and holy
ghost thing. i guess the king is the father (and i am the king), the son is
the cup (this is my blood sged for thee comes to mind as i write this), and
the ufo is the holy ghost, the elusive spirit (i just figured that out now
as i wrote this) . ok, that sounds like crazy talk, i know. but this is me
thinking outloud and making connections that i cannot even describe yet!
and to think i "said" all of that because i was just sitting at
the counter , bored at work and wanted to draw something!
ok, i am completely exhausted. this
seriously had me so worked up i had to take a xanax because i was just trembling
with insight.
i know a lot of you will think this all to be a bunch of weirdness. but that's
ok. i wrote this all down for me, and if you get something out of it, too,
then that's cool, and if not, then that's cool too.
i just had to get it out and type
about this because i am figuring out this puzzle!
4:31pm
the fu dogs with their paw on the
earth, and then also my diamonde dream which was about connecting earth and
sky brought me to think again about whirling dervishes. and the dance they
do which has one palm up to receive the energy from above and one palm facing
down to bring the energy into the earth (i think, at least that is what i
understand of it so far). anyway, i am trying to find out more about this
dance now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufi_whirling
since my life seems to be about manifestation...and
bringing my thoughts into reality...like the magician card in the tarot. the
as above so below thing. anyway, it's been a continuing theme in my life.
and it hought the dance depicted this very well. so i am looking into this
more.
i want to know why they choose the left foot to turn on, and why they whirl counterclockwise.
http://www.whirlingdervish.org/
wow, a place you can learn it!
funny as i was thinking about this dance, and about my dreams and what i am here to do and learn the word "portal" kept popping in my head. which is really a more accurate word to what i am...a portal, or channel...as i bring the creations i create from the "other world" into this world of physical reality...i am quite literally, the door or portal through which this "transaction" "transmutation" (alchemy) takes place.
and how the dervish is creating a
portal with the dance. and i really need to draw you a diagram of this more
than i can explain it in words.
and then as i was thinking this, i found out that "dervish" means
"door contemplation/meditation"
ok, and totally weird is that in
my diamode dream it has a symbol for it also that i talked about extensively
in some other journal entry months ago. and i found out later that this symbol
is actually the rune "ingwaz"
so i went to go look that up again. and found out that it is the 22nd rune.which
is hilarious because as i said i need to be like the magician card in the
tarot, as i typed that out, i thought "but i want to be the fool card
more like".
which is my favourite card, and it's number is 22. so how odd that my favourte
tarot card is 22 and then the rune i had the dream about it ALSO 22.
anyway, the ingwaz
rune, to me, means "dia-monde"...earth and sky coming together to
create a diamond.
or heavenly godlike pure beauty coming together with earthly pain and fire
and mud and water to create, under intense pressure, a diamond, the toughest
element known to man on this earthly plane.
and it's also cool that the diamond is my birthstone.
and the diamond shape makes a door or a window.
i just realized it's also like a greater sign > and a lesser sign < coming together and making equality!
(and as i typed that i see the ingwaz symbol is also the symbol for "show code view" in my macromedia dreamweaver programme which i use to type this to you on :)
but the rune is also about "as
above, so below" as it is perfectly symmetrical.
and also continuing on that theme my fascination with palindromes, which is
why i chose ANA as my name.
and also my fascination with mirrors, and then how this ended up relating
a lot to my mother and the whole NPD thing. and how anacam became a mirror,
and also a doorway or window!
22 is also symmetrical, and so is my life lesson # 44, which is comprised of two 22s! (which is also symmetrical)
anyway...wow....this is all so cool!
who knew that by me wondering about my tattoo (which is ALSO very symmetrical
, an S) would lead me to make a whole bunch of new connections about my life
and the world!
4:08pm
what i just wrote in my LJ:
i've been surfng a lot today. my
wondering about japanese tattooing of "bodysuits" (and trying to
find out the histor of that and also i heard that some people were skinned
after death and it preserved so the tattoos, which are art, could be saved...and
i still can't find any info on this exactly)...then that brought me to something
called "the floating world" which are the scenes the tattoo artists
would make.
but i can't find out WHY it is called 'the floating world", and if anyone
can find out why it's called that i would love to know!
also if anyone can read this
http://www.ancientworlds.net/aworlds_media/ibase_1/00/04/16/00041675_000.gif
what does it say?
the floating world and "ukiyo-e"
which means "pictures of the floating world":
http://www.ancientworlds.net/aw/Group/308249
http://user.bahnhof.se/~secutor/ukiyo-e/
but why why why is it called "the floating world"?
here is another place:
http://www.ukiyo-e-auction.com/ukiyo-history/edo_period.asp
which states:
"Ukiyo-e was the art of the demimonde, showing the world of Kabuki theaters
and brothels."
how i want to know also the history
and meaning of "demimonde"
i guess it means "prostitutes"
http://rox.com/vocab/demimonde/
but i'm trying to find the origins
of this word.
monde means world, in french. so what does "demi" mean?
ok...i see demi means "half or partly"
[Middle English demi, a half of a measure or unit, from Old French, from Medieval
Latin dmedius, from Latin dmidius, divided in half : dis-, dis- + medius,
half; see medium.]
so what that would mean maybe is someone who is only partially of this world...which could then be where this 'floating world" came from?
this underground, hidden from view,
world of prostitution?
maybe "floating" because it has to keep moving to not get caught
by the law?
ah:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demimonde
+++
interesting that demimonde means
prostitute and is about this "floating world"
and i had the dream about dia-monde
which isn't a real word, but it is to me and has been the most important word
in my life because of the dream.
diamonde and demimonde.
they go together like 2 sides of the same coin.
or the male and female fu dogs.
wow, i love little connections like this.
my brain is on fire! :)
now i am googling "diamonde"
it's actually someone's last name, too.
in my dream "dia" meant "sky" or "deity"
when i look it up at dictionary.com
it means "across" or "through"
from the greek meaning "through"
that is so cool :)
3:42pm
the floating world
http://user.bahnhof.se/~secutor/ukiyo-e/
i still cannot find out WHY it is called the floating world.
"The art of ukiyo-e ("pictures of the floating world"), originated in the metropolitan culture of Edo (Tokyo) during the period of Japanese history, when the political and military power was in the hands of the shoguns, and the country was virtually isolated from the rest of the world. It is an art closely connected with the pleasures of theatres, restaurants, teahouses, geisha and courtesans in the even then very large city. Many ukiyo-e prints by artists like Utamaro and Sharaku were in fact posters, advertising theatre performances and brothels, or idol portraits of popular actors and beautiful teahouse girls. But this more or less sophisticated world of urban pleasures was also animated by the traditional Japanese love of nature, and ukiyo-e artists like Hokusai and Hiroshige have had an enormous impact on landscape painting all over the world. "
and weird but to be expected , i guess:
http://www.thefloatingworld.com/
is a porn portal.
everything always comes back to sex and prostitution somehow....
3:06pm
what is that japanese (or is it chinese?) cat called that has it's one paw raised?
ah it's called Maneki Neko which means "lucky beckoning cat"
i love how at that site it says:
"This is the home page for the people who love Maneki Neko. If you don't know Maneki Neko, I hope this page would attract the interest of you. And if you already love Maneki Neko, I wish this page would make your love for it even deeper."
here is another site:
http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/maneki-neko.shtml
i bought one of these "lucky
cats" in chinatown in L.A. many years ago. it was a bank.
but gave it away before i moved into "2nd apartment" now i want
one back.
i asked the woman who worked at the store what the inscription said on the
front of it, and the woman (who didn't speak much english) said "many
many money".
so i have always called them "many many money cats" :)
the history of this cat is very strnge and how it relates to prostitution!
http://www.amy.hi-ho.ne.jp/~mono93/cat/english/history_e.html
2:48pm
foo dogs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_dog
my dogs are food dogs, or "happy
lions" as i like to also refer to them after this little firework thing
i have called "happy lion". i've always wanted to get a tattoo of
this 'happy lion". and then i got my dogs and saw they were "happy
lions" also! now looking into foo dogs more and their meaning and history...it
makes me all the more want a tattoo fo this. it says that the were even associated
with feng shui! how cool is that? and they are also protectors of the earth
and even dharma.
*goes to learn more about foo dogs*
also i want to learn what is this "floating world" they are talking about as i read about japanese tattooing.
my "happy lion" firework:
oh, i just learned that people put fu (fu means happiness, btw) dogs by their door in feng shui to protect. and it's funny because my dogs, especially sebastian, like to sleep at the door. so i already have fu dogs protecting my door :)
oh here is another link where they
call them "shishi"
http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/shishi.shtml
2:12pm
i seem to be a day ahead of my horoscopes
lately.
like today it says i will be feeling all creative, but it was YESTERDAY that
i was creative.
today i just feel kind of "eh."
on another note, it's so weird that
tattoos never come off.
i wonder who got the 1st tattoo ever and how they figured it out.
i would have never thought of it.
it's a bizarre thing that i can run my hand over my tattoo and it doesn't
smear or come off.
and i can stretch my skin and change it's shape, but it never comes off.
i will have this tattoo on me for the rest of my life!
i wonder if it will fade and if so, what colour will it fade to?
and i wonder how old i will get and if my wrists will wrinkle by my tattoo
and if so, how will my tattoo look then?
yes, i have too much time on my hands today to write down every thought i
am having.
when i die, i think it would be cool
if i could write in my will that i wish this tattoo to be cut off of me a
tanned like leather. and then sewn onto something and have it framed.
it kind of irritates me that i cannot do this myself.
well, i guess ic ould, if i knew i was going to die i could have it surgically
removed but it would be damn painful to not have skin there and have to graft
some other skin there to replace it.
and if i knew i was dying, then i might not be in too great of shape to even
do such a task.
i think in japan or china or someplace
in asia in the days of old, the woudl skin whole people who had died who have
their entire bodies tattooed. i think there is a word for that...when a person's
entire body is tattooed. just like an entire arm being tattooed is called
"a sleeve". (ok, googled it and it's called "body suit")
but ya, some tattoos are high works of art, i can see why they would save
the skin after death to preserve the painting.
i should go google that now and see what i can find about that.
i just cranked my air conditioner up to high and also brought out the fan.
the wind is really starting to whip around out there. it's rattling my windows more fiercely each hour.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irezumi
http://www.artelino.com/articles/japanese_tattoo_art.asp
2:02pm
btw, the other day when i jason and
i went to eat at 2 of our friend's house.
they had this "make your own pizza" deal but on this flat bread,
i wish i could remember the name of it.
anyway, the toppings choices we had were soooo gooood!
like figs, goat cheese, feta cheese, artichokes, black olives (the real kind),
lots of garlic, proscutto (how do you spell it? that realy thin sliced ham
stuff), i can't remember what else now...but it was just pretty much everything
and anything.
just wanted to let you know that fig and goat cheese pizza is THEE shiznit.
mmmmmm.
i definitely have to get whatever kind of goat cheese that was because it
was so damn good, i have been craving it ever since.
i bought some really gaed sheep gouda the other day to try that out.
last night i had some and sheep cheese just tastes like cow cheese to me.
maybe it was just this kind...but i really couldn't tell much of a difference.
1:22pm
it's 94 degrees out. there is a wind,
tho, that has picked up and although it's sunny now, it may storm by night.
but the forecast remains to be very very hot despite the storm. drag.
when it's this hot it may as well just be winter, because i'm not going out
there in it.
it's worse than winter, tho because you can't take your skin off, but in winter
you can at least wear a coat.
even tho this has been jason's vacation, he still has been having to do work
related stuff.
i think i will just work on scarves today, although i'm not sure.
12:43pm
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Horoscope for Aries (July 17 2005)
Do something special for the ones you love, including yourself. A surprise will put you in the spotlight. Remember you don't have to overspend: Be creative, and your plans will have a greater impact.
and
Creative activity
This is a good time for any kind of creative activity. If you are employed
in a creative field, you should be unusually productive today. Under any circumstances
this is a good time to get involved with the arts or any other activity concerning
beauty. It is also an excellent time to redecorate your home and make your
personal surroundings more attractive. Your taste for beauty is aroused, and
you are much more sensitive to the aesthetic nature of your surroundings.
This is also a time when you feel very affectionate and have a great need
to express your affection for others. You want to give and receive love. Usually
this is a very pleasant influence, because you are pleasant to be around.
Others can sense how you feel about them, which makes them feel good in return.
and
Your key planet, Mars -- still in your own sign -- is receiving the easy charms of Venus deepened by the power of Pluto. Although your desires are strong, you can still get what you need. Enjoy all aspects of the day, but remember there is no reason to overdo it now.