july 16th , 2005
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	watching jordis from saint paul
		a secret conversation

11:12pm

ah, i sold 3 scarves today! (although i need to get the cheques actually in the mail...i never know if i will ever get them, people who say they pay by cheque 1/3rd of the time don't actually send the cheque *crosses fingers this will not be the case now*)
i wish i still had paypal, but everytime i get one some asstard who has it in for me tells them i own an adult website and that seems to be the only reason they need to close my account down. because god know, a woman who shows her breasts should NOT be able to sell hats!

but oh, it gives me strength to go on to sell things!
yay!
yes yes yes!
ahhhh it is SO satisfying to sell something i have made and know it is going to an appreciative home!
even if it's not some sort of masterpiece of my life, just to sustain myself through my efforts and creations, when i am so graciously given this opportunity, makes it all so worthwhile to sit there at my mattel knit magic toy knitting machine and crank out the tubes. and connect them to little ceramic toy pitchers i bought last year off ebay. i don't know, it all comes together, and then...it's the little stuff that makes me so happy.
i need to be reminded!
ya, i am not painting the sistine chapel (at the moment), but when i can make ends meet on , basically, my own terms, and make people happy at the same time and open up their minds a bit, it just fills me with glee :)

i just have to keep going, one step at a time. and it'll all be ok if i just keep doing that.
it sounds so simple but why is it so hard?
yet, i do it, and i am proud of myself for being able to :)

and not only that but tonight is the best of chistopher walken on saturday night live. yay! i am a HUGE christopher walken fan.
he should have played willy wonka in the new "charlie and the chocolate factory"
i was so excited when i heard that johnny depp got that part. i thought he would play an excellent devious sexy willy wonka, but the trailers for it look AWFUL, and tragically, it looks like this will be my least fave johnny depp role EVER when it SHOULD be my most favourite! but gah, i am actually afraid to go see it because i think it's going to suck so bad. it's hard, because willie wonka is one of my favourite characters and movies ever, and i always try to see remakes of movies with 'new eyes" and i pretty much can sit through ANYTHING. i mean, i just love movies and it takes a LOT for me to actually hate a movie (the latest remake of godzilla was the 1st movie i ever wanted to walk out of because it just would not END).
i am not a movie snob. i just love movies, period. i'm happy to see anything.
but when i heard johnny deep was going to play willie wonka in a tim burton remake i was over the moon and i got my hopes up like some sort of star wars nerd waiting for return of the jedi.
and when i saw the trailers of johnny depp saying "let's boogie" as willie wonka in some sort of pseudo valleyguy talk....that was....just....horrible.

anyway *deep breath*
i am trying to let go of all my expectations for that movie now
*another deep breath*
so...i heard that christopher walken was considered to play willie wonka and now i do think that would have been the WAY better choice.

if i win the lottery, i am TOTALLY making my OWN willie wonka movie where christopher walken will play the most badass devious willy wonka EVER.

hell ya. that is what i am going to do if i win the lottery.

so there you have it.

latest fascinating IMing with jason:

ana: fuck
jason: ?
ana: i don't knw HOW deiter got a hold of those african stones and bones throwing things
fortune telling thing. but he did. and was CHEWING yhe fucking bones!
jason: Oh no!
ana: ya
jason: is he ok?
ana: ya he seems to be
jason: ok
ana: i think i got it right away, but fuckin a
jason: yeah :(
ana: how the fuck?
jason: >:)
ana: arrrrrrrrgh
ana: now i don't know how many bones are supposed to be in it but that is ruined now i guess
jason: I'm sorry :(
ana: since i don't know anything about it. glarb.
dogs and their bones. anyway that is all. that was just upsetting
jason: I understand
ana: maybe i could get that anywhere but it was sent to me from AFRICA
jason: Right
ana: now all the dogs are sniffing the bed to find more. lol. dammit. ok that is all.
jason: Ok that is all
ana: everything else is fine
jason: ok
ana: have a good sleep
jason: you too
ana: g'night. i just heard this HUGE crunching noise. and was like WTF?
jason: Right :(
ana: at least it wasn't one of my crochet hooks. NO bone furniture for us in our house

6:27pm

updated my crochet site, posted in my crochet journal, sent off to the mailing list, it took me all day to take all these pictures and post them everywhere. i surely do hope that things will sell!

i am so sleepy.
i need something to eat now.
then i hope i get a 2nd wind because i neeed to keep making things!

bada bing!

4:54pm

now i've taken pictures and put up in my hat journal and here the photos of them.
now i need to get them on the hat portion of my site, but i am so tired.
this heat is hard to move through...

4:39pm

butter yellow and mint green kid mohair tube scarf with white fringe all over!
a whopping 180" long! (that is damn long!)
this is verrrrrrrry soft!
a steal at $75

 

4:17pm

grass scarf with 3 toy ceramic milk pitchers
102" long.
acrylic with cotton string

$30

4:00pm

multicolour furry scarf #1
70" long!
acrylic.
superrrrrrr soft :)

$45

 

3:48pm

pink white striped tube ruffle scarf #2

126" long!
cotton

$30

3:08pm

things i am working on.

pink/white tube ruffle scarf, and 4 ways to wear it (that i can think of right now). ($20)
there are going to be more of these and then i have more ideas of how one could wear a multitude of these in various fabulous combinations :)

it's too hot for jason to be in my apartment, even with my air conditioner on high.
so he went back to his house to read.
bummer. i wish it wasn't so hot.
i have to remain here, tho because i want to continue working on these scarves and photographing them.

 

 

1:23pm

today i am going to work on my scarves and take photos of the ones i've made.
jason is coming over to read.
so it's just like yesterday.
it's going to be 96 degrees out today but weather.com says ut will feel like 105 :(
yuck.
i so wish to go outside and walk but not in that.
ok, off to work...

 

2:51am

Horoscope for Aries (July 16 2005)

You'll be tempted to spend impulsively today. If that's the case, invest in you and treat yourself to a spa day, a new outfit or a seminar that will help you deal better with your financial situation. Changes are inevitable in order to excel.

and

Fair weather
There are wounds that do not heal with time. Instead they start hurting again given certain "weather conditions". If this occurs, subconsciously we will withdraw into ourselves in interpersonal situations, or be oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason - or we ourselves become particularly hurtful, without actually wanting to. However, if the weather is fair, as it is now, you have the opportunity to bring these painful things to light - preferably during a personal conversation with someone who is close to you. Looking into painful experiences in this way can make you freer in your behavior, your close relationships and your relation with your body. It can also prevent you from hurting others.

and

This may be a day of excesses. It may even feel more intense than it is. Your emotions are running deep. Be aware of what you say, for you can set up expectations that are beyond your ability to deliver. Put your feelings to work instead of play.