june 21st , 2005

i'm one of the very few people on the planet who doesn't thnk tom cruise was being weird on oprah.
but i have to say, taking this out of context, editing it like this and adding these effcts it's pretty darn hilarious :)

here it is with sound effects:

http://tcruiseko.ytmnd.com/

thanks melena for the link :)

8:45pm

watched taped shows of 6 feet under and hell's kitchen (ya, i'm still watching that)
and now i'm going to watch a taped episode of lost from the other day.

i totally need tivo.

6:19pm

finished much stuff. now off to the store to get dog food and pop.
i'm so pissed, last night before i went out, i forgot to put the soup i was cooking in the fridge.
so at 7pm is was at a boiling point and i think i got home at 11:30pm? the kettle was still warm when i got back.
do you think the soup is bad and i have to throw it all out? :(
it was chicken and tomatoes.

4:40pm

argh, i slept until 4pm! that is bad!
i think it's because i took tylenol pm last night and then forgot if i took any so i took 2 more.
so ya, slept for 11 hours! jeepers! my day is all whacked out now.
jason is already home from work and as soon as i finish all the things i need to do like get to the little store for dog food, do the anacam biz, brush my teeth etc etc etc...then we are going to watch some shows we taped like 6 feet under because we missed it last night.

now that i am in not such a blur from the whole show last night, i am able to pick the pieces apart and see them more clearly because at the time everyone's energies just blur together for me when it's just so much for me to deal with and take in. like i wish i could have expressed to the guy who came to our table and talked to us during the whole show that i wanted to see the show and not talk so much. i don't mind someone coming up to me and introducing themselvs to me and even having a little bit of a conversation, in fact, i like it. it's nice to meet new friendly people.
but he just kind of "took over" our table. he brought over ALL his food he had ordered and gave it to us and was hitting on some of my friends and he was very drunk. and he was just overbearing. i think the reason i couldn't set any boundaries with him is just because he was just such a BIG personality he just took over, and the fact is he seemed genuinely like a nice guy who was just trying to be super friendly. and so i couldn't get MAD at him because he was nice and seemed so... i don't even know the word for it...needy? but ya, if i could have someone expressed to him that i wanted to watch the show instead of talk about about things really loudly, i wish i could have done that.
usually i can speak up and express this, but last night i just couldn't.
it just overtook me and all i could do is go with the flow of it.

but today i am kind of irritated at myself for not being able to express that and not be overtaken by this guy.
as nice as he was. he was nice, well meaning. drunk.

and dear guy who was quiet the entire time to my right.
i didn't know you are a member of ana2, and i so apologize for kind of squishing you into the whole weird vibe of the night. and i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings by anything i said. i wasn't able to articulate very clearly anything about that show last night.

(ah, i see how you just subscribed this morning! which explains why i did not recognize your name when you emailed me last night, i pretty much remember the names of everyone who is a member of ana2)

i have had weird experiences with people and i am wary.
when i said i got a weird vibe from you what i meant is that...well, obviously i was picking up on your emotions that you were a member of ana2 and here , all of a sudden, you find yourself sitting next to me at a concert.
and THANK YOU for being so polite, thoughtful, and courteous.
what you did was FAR preferable that what the other guy was doing.
and i'm sorry if he or any of us were talking too loudly for you to enjoy the show.
but ya, i didn't get a BAD or scary vibe from you, i just got a "vibe" and i used the word "weird" simply because i didn't have any other word for it. you seem very nice, courteous, polite.

i guess , what i would prefer, is for people who "know" me to just introduce themselves to me and say hi.
it doesn't have to turn into a big conversation, but just the acknowlegement that you knew me would have made me feel better because then it would have confirmed my feelings that i was feeling SOMEthing from you.
but that is asking a lot, i understand that. i mean how could you know what it is i would want?
and when you see my table taken over by this other guy, that probably gave your more incentive to not say hi because you didn't want to seem like the other guy.
anyway, thank you for being polite, i really am sorry if i hurt your feelings in any way.

there was so much energy being swirled around me that night it was hard to sort it all through.

and then when you emailed me that very HOUR i left, so that by the time i got home there was an email from you, that just made me go woa! he knows who i am! and of course i don't know you and , it was just a weird night overall.

anyway, if you see me again, please just come up and say hi, ok?
i would be far less wigged if you had just said hi to me in person and THEN emailed me instead of to find an email from you by the time i got home saying you were the guy who was at the next table from me all night.
but i know you were trying to do the right thing and be polite.
you just have to understand my history with people, i have had a lot of weird things happen to me.
and that's not YOUR fault.
and you did the best you could, and you did nothing wrong at all.
i just want you to understand why i was wigged a little.

anyway, thank you for your kind and diplomatic email to me this morning letting me know you are a member of ana2.
and i'm sorry we both wigged each other out a little.
but it's all good. just next time say hi, k? i don't bite, i promise :)

*whew* hello! glad to meet you! *shakes hand* :)

i don't think i've ever had this happen to me before where i write about someone in ana2 and then to find out they are a member. at least that i know of! so this is a first for me!

and it must be weird for you to have me write about you in my journal!
or maybe not! i don't know! weird weird world. small world.

so..well, i guess i will get on with my day now. i have so much i have to get done and i'm still feeling groggy and kind of rundown from last night.
i'm glad that i don't have any more concerts or anything to go to for awhile. i get easily overloaded.

happy summer solstice!

it's the longest day of the year!
it's 88 degrees out and grey.
i'm not going to go out there. 88 is too hot for me.

 

Horoscope for Aries (June 21 2005)

Your energetic nature will get you into trouble today if you haven't planned a busy schedule. Secrets will be revealed to you. A change regarding your personal life, domestic scene or an older member of your family may surprise you.

and

Mentally active
This will be a mentally active day for you, because ideas and communications will come at you very quickly, and you will have to understand not only the surface communication but also the underlying meaning. In talking with others, be particularly aware of any hints they may drop about their motivations. This influence tends to produce interactions with others that test the clarity of your thinking and force you to prove the validity of what you say. You certainly will not consider this a boring day. Unless your thinking and communications are very poorly thought out, you should be able to accomplish whatever you set out to. But there is also the possibility of arousing opposition to your purposes and ideas that could become very intense later on. That is why it is important to listen as well as to put forth your ideas.

and

As the Sun enters the sign of the Crab today, this can put the brakes on your life, even if you have the best of intentions. You are beginning a few weeks where your head says one thing but your feelings deep within your belly tell you something else. Don't throw the words away, but use these weeks ahead to practice listening to your gut.