| may
26th , 2005 |
||
as i looked at the photos from the
show, i did realize as i zoomed in on the photos of the photographers i took
that there WERE laminated press/photo passes that those photographers had
around their necks.
but when i asked if i had one, the answer was no :(
so...i am kind of hurt as confused as to why i didn't get one because the
sole reason i went there was so that i could take photos up by the catwalk!
and instead i had to be in the back row of the seating.
i'm glad i was on the list and got seating. that was very nice and i am appreciate
that.
but it's mystifying to me why i didn't get a pass and was in the row farthest
away :(
i didn't go to the show to be a spectator, but to do a job as a photographer.
i could have taken so much better of pictures if i could have been up by the
catwalk like all the men photographers were :(
and i'm sure that pass could have gotten me into the dressing room where i
could taken all sorts of cool pictures and also interview the designers.
also, another thing that was sad is that everyone who had a seat got a little
gift bag with things in it.
but, strangely, both my seat and the seat for fuzzy did not have gift bags
on them. we were the only ones who didn't get gift bags.
i'm sure they were just stolen by someone.
but still...it was sad. but not a huge deal.
i was so excited to take cool photos for this show and i am really disapointed
that they did not give me equal opportunity to take photos and so my photos
are kind of crap.
10:05pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
so jason looked at many floorplans
within our price range. or i should say within his price range, as i have
no money but i can help to pay for parts of the mortage, etc. and we will
have to figure out all the legalities of that. lots to figure out. it's hard
to imagine what these places are like when they are not even built. hard to
imagine exactly how much light will make it through the windows, which is
very very crucial for me.
i won't go into the details of it all because it's very complicated and still
2 years away from being built. but jason did put $ down to hold one condo
which is loft style. if sounds very dreamy! but i will really miss the view
i have now. the view we will have at this place will be overlooking other
condos, but hopefully we will be able to see a bit more than that.
i'm excited but also very nervous. we will have northern exposure and also
southern exposure, and THREE balconies, one of them screened in! this alone
makes it pretty much a dream come true.
it's a little small, maybe about 1000 square feet or a bit more. but we can
make it work if i get rid of more things, which i plan to do. on the top floor,
part of it overlooks the bottom floor, but we are going to see if we can have
them make that one not open and instead continue the floor, because this place
has only 1 bedroom, and i need a space that is partly my one where i can put
all my art supplies and musical equipment and have a place to create. i hope
they can do this and that we will be able to afford that because then there
will eb 2 bedrooms, not just one. if they can do it then it'll be about 1,300
square feet.
a lot of things to figure out.
nervewracking but also exciting.
and i will have a NICE kitchen to cook!
with WINDOWS in the kitchen!
ya, i guess i am pretty darn excited.
jason has already been pretty much approved to get the loan to get this place
:)
we've been together for over 7 years now...but this is so SERIOUS!
we've lived together before but that was when we both had too much stuff and
we couldn't make it work. both of us have gotten rid of a ton if stuff so
we will fit now.
jason will be mostly in charge of decorating the bottom floor where he wants
to entertain guests.
my only requirement is that he not paint the walls a colour that will depress
me.
and then i will be more in charge
if decorating the top floor.
and the only other thing i want done to it, if we can afford it,
is have bigger tub than the tubs they have.
i think that is doable. (i hope)
it's hard to believe how real this
really is.
the money is down. it is saved for us.
i think it's really going to happen!
it will be a very long time until
the condo is more than just a teensy weensy bit mine. since part of my money
i will be going to pay for part of the mortage, some will go for the association
fees, and some will go towards the downpayment. there is a lot to work out.
we'll have a legal contract made up so everything is very clear as to what
part i play in this and it's all fair. we
will figure out all the legalities of it.
this condo will mostly be jason's understandably.
i can't believe i will not only have
just ONE balcony but THREE.
and a screened in one!
infinitely dreamy. this will be so good for my emotional health.
maybe i can even get plants!
we looked at demo condos and the
ones that are 2 million are INSANELY cool. maybe we'll win the lottery!
those ones overlook the river.
yes, i will am going to miss my view.
but this is 2 years down the road.
the floors in the lofts are cement.
this will be good for dogs. we'll get throw rugs. i will see if i can stain
the cement a pretty colour.
as the dog die *cry*, we can maybe get some wood floors.
and the ceiling height on both floors are 10 feet high!
so that is what we have now.
it would be extremely difficult to go back to shorter ceilings after we've
neen so spoiled with our tall ceilings where we live now.
my only reservation i have is that i hope i get enough direct sun, at least during certain parts of the day. but if if we don't, we will get a lot of indirect light. this won't be a dark place to live.
i've been really nervous about this
all day, but the more i am typing about it now, i am getting way more excited.
it really hasn't sunk in yet that this place is really on hold for us!
and especially hard to have it sink in because these places are not even built yet.
ok, that's all for now about this place.
i will work on getting more fashion
show pix up now.
3:31pm
i'm soooo tired. i'm drinking one
of those new "full throttle" energy drinks to wake up.
fuzzy came over and i gave her back all her crocheted stuff i was going to
take pix of.
i'm just not going to get around to it.
i have too much stuff to do!
like taxes!
in 1/2 an hour jason and i are walking over to this place that has floor plans
for a condo building that hasn't been built yet and won't be ready until 2007.
but if we could get a condo there, it might be pretty cool :)
but that would be in 2 years.
i'm bummed that carrie won american
idol, but not surprised.
jason taped it for me and i sleepily skimmed it when i got home.
i'll watch the whole thing later.
i want to zone out and snuggle tonight.
i miss my jason.
i was, of course, insulted on the
kelly osbourne forum for saying she ripped off "fade to grey" with
her new song.
that was to be expected.
weird email of the day (excerpts)
"Hello naughty Ana,
I've heard your singing ...you are not better than Madonna..Sorry...
...So back to Madonna...Even a leopard
like myself can make a fool of himself...(sorry again )
especially when the leopard has a cataract ...
is swimming under the South Pole...and in addition half a way he remembers
that he forgot his flippers...
....Whoever is fiddling with your visuals etc...is more interesting than the
late "mannequin Andy"...
....Your "peas" "bye" irritates me so if you must scribble something back...please leave it out..."
WTF is THAT about??
i just wrote back:
"peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas
peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas peas"
2:55pm
a few of my fave pix from the show.
there are more but i am still working on them :)
|
me by |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
fuzzy's hat she made |
|
|
|
|
|
me taking a picture of someone taking a pic of me! |
|
|
fuzzy and i :) |
|
|
1:29pm
last night was fun! but i am really
"peopled out" now.
i feel overstimulated and i just want to ground myself today and take it easy.
i'm really bummed because the photos i took turned out just awful. they are
all blurry and dark.
i was sitted in a section that had seats on one side of the catwalk.
but i was at the back row so i had to take pix over people.
once in awhile i would walk up to the catwalk.
all the professional photographers were not in the seated section.
they were all crowded at the end of the catwalk with their cameras which had
superiour flash bulbs to mine.
and they were all men.
and i felt intimidated to go up there with them and take photos.
because for one thing i wasn't sure if i was allowed to do that since i was
in the seated section.
so it was a bit confusing to me as to if i was even allowed to go stand with
all the guys.
and i don't even know if there was room for me anyway.
so i felt just kind fo silly and lost.
so my pictures all turned out pretty crappy.
live and learn, i guess. and i will email the voltage people and ask them
if i WAS allowed to stand up bu the rest of the photographers. it was confusing
to me.
i tried to get backstage where all
the models were getting dressed and stuff.
that was where i was last year when i was one of the designers.
but the bouncer guy would not let me in there so it was a real drag.
i could have taken so much better photos in there.
i wanted to take really clear photos of the clothing!
t was a bit freaky also to see this
one designer was doing very similiar ideas to what fuzzy and i were going
to do for the show, if we had been in it.
the ruffly bustle things and even umbrellas! we were really shocked!
i'm still to overstimulated to write
more about this. and i'll get the pix up of the show soon, even tho they are
blurry.
+++
Horoscope for Aries (May 26 2005)
A strong will and an industrious mind will be required if you expect to accomplish something today. Problems you least expect are likely to develop. Added responsibility may be daunting but, if you pull it off, you will look impressive.
and
Inner dignity ***
Valid during many months: Your contacts with others will repeatedly make you
aware of the fairly inflexible, rigid or conservative sides of your nature
which sometimes makes you your worst enemy. You might notice that you sometimes
deride weaknesses in others - ones which you are all too well aware of within
yourself but would rather ignore. Such experiences can often be humiliating
and we tend to react by distancing ourselves, clinging grimly on to old convictions.
We are under no circumstances willing to change our point of view, and would
rather criticize those who, consciously or not, are more open about their
mistakes.
This influence gives you the opportunity to become more aware of such weaknesses
within yourself. It is now particularly important that you try to accept these
without immediately wanting to change them. After all, you do have your own
unique virtues - a few character flaws don't make you completely unbearable!
If you can learn to accept and tolerate your less desirable characteristics
you will be less prone to feeling uneasy or reacting violently when faced
with them in others. You will then develop a more relaxed and natural authority,
based on an inner dignity which is characteristic of someone who has recognized
the depths of their own soul.
On a more superficial level, this influence should make it easier for you
to change course or break out of existing patterns in your life, even when
faced with obstacles or resistance from others. This will in any case be a
time of increasing psychological stability, in which you will feel more able
to get in touch with your own aims and true values.
and
On the line
This is a time when you are inclined to put emotional considerations second
to the immediate necessities, as you see them, in your life. Emotional repression
of one kind or another is a probable consequence of this influence. But if
you do react with emotional repression, you may become hypercritical, which
is really the expression of a repressed feeling, usually of resentment toward
someone. Another negative expression of this influence is the "martyr
game", a tactic of pretending that something is all right with you while
subtly signaling that it is not and possibly trying to make others feel guilty
for their behavior. Often this is done quite unconsciously. It is much better
to put your feelings on the line, even if they don't seem to fit the situation.
and
Sudden moves
Weak, transient effect: Today during the day you are likely to crave emotional
excitement, something that departs from the routine of your daily life. You
are likely to seek out people who are different from those you usually meet.
You might spend the day or evening in very different surroundings. And while
you may feel a bit impulsive, these impulses make you feel more alive rather
than inclined to act rashly or stupidly. On a more quiet level, you may use
this energy to make needed changes in your immediate personal life or your
domestic environment. While others may seem startled by your apparently sudden
moves, these changes should be constructive, and the people in your life will
accept them. If you have to deal with groups of people or with the general
public, you will advocate change and new policies.
and
A serious mood
Weak, transient effect: Today during the day your feelings and emotions are
much more intense, but at the same time your sensitivity is stimulated. You
feel everything much more powerfully than usual, and you are not likely to
take your feelings or anyone else's lightly. It puts you in a serious mood
and makes you seek the most powerful and intimate encounters with another.
Sexual relationships may be considerably enriched, because this influence
enables you to get past the superficial levels of communication that may have
been driving you and your loved one apart. In this way you can again feel
as one. In general, life will call you to approach it with some passion and
feeling. And if you can respond, it can be a very rich and rewarding experience
in which you learn much about your feelings.
and
A reasonably pleasant time
Weak, transient effect: This morning you want to be with your friends and
the people you love. This influence helps to ensure that you will have a reasonably
pleasant time with them. Feelings of love and friendship may build in all
areas of your life now, and you feel that life is richer and a little more
rewarding. It is a good time to have friends to your home for entertainment.
You are able to make them feel good, and they will appreciate it, for you
make it clear that you care about them. In general, your home situation and
immediate environment will be the sources of your greatest satisfaction during
this period. Your light and cheerful mood will be picked up by everyone around
you, too. However, you should be careful not to become passive.
and
Selflessness
Weak, transient effect: This influence makes you very sensitive to other people's
moods, and if you are at all psychic you will be more sensitive in this regard
as well. But with this sensitivity, you have to be careful about the people
you are with. On the other hand, it is good to be with friends whom you are
devoted to. This quality of time can signify selflessness and genuinely caring
for others without regard for your own needs, and this is not done in a martyred
spirit. You feel great sympathy and compassion for those who are in need,
and are willing to help either personally or through working with a charitable
group. This influence may also arouse your daydreaming tendencies. Tonight
you may wish to be by yourself and retire into your own private inner world,
or you may wish to talk about your daydreams with friends.
and
An evaluation of goals ***
Valid during many months: This is a challenging time in your life. You will
have to make many choices about what areas of your life to emphasize. Will
you work to build up a new career or continue to build upon a current one?
Will you work to make your personal life as satisfying as possible? Will you
work collectively with many other people or by yourself?
Often there is an "alienation crisis" with this influence, a sudden
feeling of being cut off from everyone else, as if you have spent too much
energy pursuing purely personal goals. This in turn generates loneliness and
a feeling of being distant from others, even loved ones. Or you may suddenly
feel that you no longer have the strength to go on in the direction you have
chosen. Fears of your own inadequacies may distort your perspective. All of
this is most likely to happen if you have neglected personal relationships
in your life. You cannot go on forever without supportive emotional relationships,
and you may have been trying to do so.
Sometimes this influence can have the opposite result, and you discover that various personal entanglements have been interfering with the pursuit of your valid goals. In this case you will break off relationships and gain the freedom to go your own way. The issue here is the balance between personal relationships and advancement in life.
On another tack, this period can test your choice of goals. You may encounter opposition from others that forces you to examine whether your goals are really valid for you. If they are, the conflict with other persons or against trying circumstances will be useful. But if you find that your heart is not really in the path you have chosen, you may have to make adjustments and change your course of action. It is far better to do this now than several years from now, when you may be overcommitted to an inappropriate course and discover that you are trapped. Now is the time to change. It may not be pleasant, but it is possible.
Transit selected for today (by user):
Saturn Square Med.Coeli
activity period from end of August 2004 until beginning of June 2005.
and
Inner stability ***
Valid during many months: At this time you can incorporate into yourself the
fruits of previous successes, look them over and appreciate them for what
they were. The key idea is that you are in a position to understand your life
and therefore better able to be in conscious control of it. This is not merely
an intellectual understanding, it is born of experience. You have lived through
certain things, and now you can proceed on the basis of that understanding.
Your business or professional life will run smoothly at this time. Employers
and superiors appreciate your calm, controlled way of handling your work,
and they can see the results of your past experience. Relationships, which
reflect what you are, are also more stable at this time because of your own
inner stability.
Your outlook on life has also reached a point of equilibrium. You have a good understanding of how you look at life, and it works well enough that you may not question it very much. The problem is that this is not a time of testing, so you don't know how well your ideas will stand up to future crisis. You only know how well they withstood past tests. But the future is always different, and what happens in the future depends upon what is true at that time. Therefore you must keep your mind open and flexible. You only know what you know, and that is not everything. Continue to examine yourself and see what could be improved. Even if your life is satisfactory now, it may not always be.
Transit selected for today (by user):
Saturn Trine Saturn
activity period from beginning of September 2004 until beginning of June 2005.
and
For the common good ***
Valid during many months: During this time gradual changes will take place
in your life that will make you more aware of the external and internal forces
that make your life move in certain directions. You will gain great psychological
insight into yourself and others at this time, and you will go below surface
appearances to seek out the fundamental elements of any issue.
This is also a time when you may gain power over others in some way, either
in your personal or your professional life. You may be given the authority
to direct a project or a group of people working together. However, you should
be aware that you are acting as an agent of forces that transcend your own
individuality, and that everything you do must be for the common good, or
it will be to no avail.
Sometimes the power can take a form that has nothing to do with authority. It may be that your own personality becomes powerful from within, making you a person of moral influence. Without even being aware of the process yourself, you speak with wisdom and others heed what you say. People may be drawn to you, fascinated by your energy and power. Of course this confers the greatest possible responsibility upon you, because you can misuse this power, but the consequences for you would not be good!
Under this influence you may choose to undergo psychotherapy or work with other mind- expanding disciplines in order to increase your self-understanding. In your professional life you may feel that you have a very significant task to perform at this time, one that is far more important than your usual work. You feel that your work could transform the whole nature of your career, not only for yourself but for others in the same field. You have a much greater sense of purpose in your work than usual. If you take the time to communicate this in detail to others, you can be really effective. But if you assume that your insight is obvious and that everyone else sees what you see, you will become isolated from those who could help, and therefore you will be ineffective.
Transit selected for today (by user):
Pluto Trine Med.Coeli
activity period from middle of January 2005 until beginning of November 2006.
and
You are feeling optimistic and ready to take a chance. You are willing to play the game as long as there's a possibility of a good outcome, but now your logic is holding you back. You are somewhat uncertain as to whether to trust your intuition or not. Don't give up on your positive outlook, but if you keep running into the same wall, don't run so fastand don't push so hard.