| may
25th , 2005 |
||
5:39pm
put some special effects cupcake
pink in my hair.
but it was pretty old so i don't know how well it will actually dye.
i hope it will just take away a bit of the orangey-ness of my hair now.
listening to sahara hotnights.
still don't know what i will wear tonight.
i might wear one of fuzzy's
crocheted dresses since there is one i really love and it fits me and also
if my hair it will look good and also be good to promote fuzzy's work! it's
the hot pink mohair one!
when i 1st saw it said "oo la la!"
i know i should be smart and wear one of my hats.
but i don't have any that i feel like wearing tonight, oddly.
it's POURING rain out.
i wish i had a raincoat.
i used to have this awesome red vinyl one that was autographed by robyn
hitchcock inside.
what did i ever do with that?
and why is robyn's website designed so poorly?
i'm listening to the smiths now.
i found a song by morrissey on slsk
today that he did live called "i love kelly osbourne.....no don't"
and i can't wait to hear what it sounds like :)
4:44pm
jason is bringing me a coke. this
will, undoubtedly, cheer me up!
i must get back to the good mood i was in the last few days.
i hate feeling jealous. i am not often a jealous person.
i want to flip this energy around and make my feeling be inspiration, not
jealousy.
jealousy is such a shitty way to feel, and it repels the very thing you
want, so it is very counterproductive.
i learned this through all the people
who have been jealous of me.
the people who are jealous of me, i feel very icky about that, and i push
them far away.
but people who are inspired by me and happy for me, i bring them nearer.
jealousy is one of the most counterproductive feelings ever.
that is another thing we used to
do in the blue up? whenever we felt a bout of jealousy coming over us, we
would instead say outloud that we wished the people we felt jealous of good
fortune and infinite blessings. we would do this kind of tongue and cheek,
but at the same time, it helped us have a sense of humour about it, and we
were then able to rise above the jealousy.
we'd always keep each other in check so perfectly :)
the blue up? was such a great little tribe/family :)
and so, i wish kelly osbourne good
fortune and infinite blessings!
(i wish i could remember what the EXACT words we used to say)
good for you kelly osbourne! way to go! woo hoo!
(said tongue in cheekly, but still it helps to at least have a sense of humour
about this situation).
joba and good fortune to all the
fashion designers tonight!
i hope the show goes amazingly well!
for when things go amazingly well for one, this energy is something we all
can tap into. more positivity for the planet!
and any negative energy i put out into the universe today i "take out of the law". which means i am consciously taking the energy back and undoing it from the law of karma (cause and effect).
i take it back and render all my negativity powerless and nonexistent. and i flip it all back into inspiration and joy for me and all the universe to taop into.
so mote it be!
3:49pm
today is cold. 62 degrees and cold.
holy god, i am listening to another kelly song from her new cd, called "entropy"
and this is ALSO a rip off another song i know. all i can hear of the original
song in my head are lyrics "a modern effigy" and i'm trying to google
it but all i get is a band by that name, and i don't think that is the band.
was it erasure? or meat beat manifesto?
but this song is a complete rip off of that song. and i will find it!
but i think i've found that this
band, a modern effigy, covers "don't fear the reaper" which i have
wanted to cover for the past 7 years.
well, it was bound to happen sooner or later that someone would beat me to
it.
oh i see wilco did it, too.
well fuck that, i'm still going to cover it.
i'm trying not to be bitter today.
but seeing kelly osbourne blatantly rip off visage just twisted me a bit.
it's depressing.
and it's furtherly depressing to
me because i was trying to make an 80's analog synthesizer record with anavoog.com
back in 1996 and back then no one had a freaking clue as to what i was trying
to achieve.
i "should" have been at the forefront of this new new synth pop
movement like ladytron and fischerspooner are.
and i would have done it better.
but no. my stupid ass record label had no vision WHATSOEVER.
and blocked me at every fucking turn.
and now even kelly osbourne is making a synth pop record and blatantly ripping
off everyone.
fuck.
i'm TRYING not to be bitter.
but i am at this moment.
i'm having a little bitter moment here.
and this isn't a good attitude to
have before i go to this fashion show where i know i could easily turn bitter
about why am *I* not in this show?
but everything happens for a reason, i have to believe.
and i just forge ahead anyway, in my own way, despite all the completely idiotic
people around me with no vision at ALL.
all of a sudden i feel like todd rundgren or something, where i inspire people, or i have good ideas that are too ahead of their time, and i don't have the moeny or resources to implement things the way i want, and so i see all my ideas being done by other people who rake in the cash and i sit in my apartment struggling to pay my electric bill.
and believe me, i don't wear the
"starving artist" badge with any sort of pride and honour like some
artists do. fuck that shit.
i want CASH. i want RECOGNITION!
i do NOT like to be in this position AT all.
i just have to wonder sometimes WHY the fuck am i not the huge rockstar i
was supposed to be?
and the answer to that is twofold:
1. the people who i worked with are
IDIOTS times INFINITY who wouldn't know VISION if it fucked them up the ass.
and
2. maybe i just never made it "big" as i thought i would, because
i wasn't prepared for that sort of energy to be hurled at me and i would have
ended up killing myself or something.
i hate that i am even writing this.
when i was young i used to see bitter people like me and feel sorry for them.
and now here i AM one.
how hilarious. not.
all i can do is throw my hands up
in the air and say "JOBA!"
and just keeping plugging onward.
joba is a word that renee from the
blue up? made up.
there is no equivelent in the english language for it, but there should be.
what it means is:
whatever fate life has cast you in
life, you just have to accept it, at some point, and not work against it and
let it eat you alive. you have to have a sense of humour about it and make
it work FOR you.
it's about accepting things as they are and going with the flow.
accepting where you are and making the best of it.
like if you walked out of a public
restroom with toilet paper sticking onto your shoe and a whole restauraunt
laughed at you, you just have to say "JOBA!"
it is what it is, you can't undo it. you have to accept the facts as they
are. and just move on.
i hope that explains it. they should
put the word "joba" into the dictionary.
because the world needs that word.
i must go find some clothes to wear
now tonight.
maybe i need to do some laundry.
put some pink dye in my hair.
2:48pm
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i must start getting ready to go
out tonight with fuzzy to the fashion show.
i don't know what i will wear. and i need to buy a ton of batteries for my
camera.
2:26pm
quite a transformation!
see her video "one word"
here:
http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/osbourne_kelly/audvid.jhtml
it's a gorgeous video. all black
and white film noir.
and when i heard it...i knew it was a cover..but of who? new order? depeche
mode?
and so i went on a search to see who wrote it because i KNEW this song.
and then it hit me:
it's a COMPLETE rip off of visage's "fade to grey"
it's not a cover of it, but it rips it off, the melody, the french speaking
woman, the use of the word "one"
how on earth can she do that? visage is gonna come after her ass for a piece
of the money on this song, absolutely.
it's #1 on the dance charts right now.
seriously, go listen to a sample of "fade to grey" by visage on amazon here!:
DAMN, this entire song is almost
a clone of "fade to grey"!
i'm really shocked that NO one pointed this out to her before they released
it!
wtf???
on further inspection, linda perry (of 4 non blondes fame) takes sole credit for writing this song. so the fault lies with linda and the record co. not kelly, who probably has never even heard the visage song.
http://www.ascap.com (click ACE Title Search).
ONE WORD (Title Code: 450680694)
Writers:
PERRY LINDA
Performers:
ON HOLD FOR KELLY OSBOURNE
Variations:
(none found)
+++
the writers wrote "fade to grey":
FADE TO GREY (Title Code: 360179764)
Writers:
CURRIE WILLIAM (billy currie of ultravox)
PAYNE CHRISTOPHER JOHN
URE JAMES (GB) (midge ure of ultravox)
Performers:
STRANGE S (steve strange)
VISAGE
Variations:
FADE TO GRAY
+++
i just joined kelly's forum and posted
about this.
http://kellyosbourne.com/sitn/board/viewtopic.php?t=153
+++
Horoscope for Aries (May 25 2005)
Stop being so intent on getting everything done. It isn't likely you will be able to pull off your usual workload. Give yourself a break and just enjoy a moment of peace and quiet.
and
Caution
When communicating or cooperating with others we often encounter certain unspoken
differences, reservations or sensitivities. These do not seriously hinder
the process but interfere insofar that one must be circuitous and considerate
- a circumstance that one accepts but in fact cannot really understand. This
applies to dealings with others and, it must be supposed, when others deal
with us. This influence offers the possibility of either raising such issues
in conversation with others or being made aware of them in oneself. It is
especially important that this be dealt with in a delicate and sensitive manner
by both parties. Without real empathy and readiness to understand, it will
be impossible to gain much from this quality of time.
and
No matter how self-directed you are today, your long-term plans may seem out of reach. This, in itself, can be discouraging, but it's up to you to work around the problems now being presented to you. Don't expect immediate solutions. Instead, lay the groundwork for deeper changes to unfold through the days ahead.