may 4th , 2005
past anagrams	menu	utb

 

ya, i know i'm intense and go on these rants and rampages.

so here:

http://ana.livejournal.com/1551869.html
is what started it.

which led to this:

http://ana.livejournal.com/1552525.html

which led to this:

http://ana.livejournal.com/1552892.html

which says:

social experiment

my "boob" and "cock" polls was purposely made to be ridiculous.
it was made to poke fun of stereotypes and shine light on how stupid they are.
it was meant as a lighthearted social experiment.

but it proved to be more serious and potent to me as it progressed.

i thought it would be obvious that the polls were a joke as i picked ridiculous options like "i wish i could cut my boobs off" or "women who get boob jobs are the enemy of feminism"

but i also gave the options "i don't judge, to each their own".

and there was always the option to NOT take the over the top silly poll.
and for some people to blame ME for not giving enough "options" in the poll is silly.
and if the options didn't match your exact "view" then you had the option not to click on something that does not represent you.
no one forced the poll on you or to HAVE to choose any of the options if they did not represent how you truly feel.

of course i expect there to be ignorant people in the world and for them to give offensive answers.

but for someone to click on a statement that says:

"women who get boobs jobs are brainless"
"women who get boob jobs are bimbos"
"women who get boob jobs an enemy to feminism"

i think that is pretty straightforward.
of course if you click on that it SEEMS that you feel this way about ALL women.

the statement wasn't :
"i feel SOME women are brainless bimbos and some are not, it really depends on the person"
and the statement wasn't:
"i feel women who get boob jobs are an enemy to feminism except YOU"

what lesson i would like some people to take away from this "experiment" is to not be so DISCONNECTED and FLIPPANT
about things. i am a woman. i am a real human being here who made those polls. i am not an internet toy. and i have breast implants, as many of you know, and some of your didn't. so if you click on a sentence that says "women with boob jobs are brainless", and *I* made the poll, you ARE counting me in that "brainless" category.
and you can't make it up to me by saying "oh but YOUR boob job looks GOOD!" or "natural"
(and if you think my breasts look natural at age 39 or really almost ANY age, you need to see to stop getting your boob info from the media) it doesn't matter whether or not i have the best or worst boob job in the world. that is a mute point.
if i want to get a boob job where my breasts are shaped as hexagons with jingle bells in them i will.

the point is, you didn't see ME as a real human woman behind that poll when some of you took it.
you didn't make the CONNECTION between ME and that poll.
and i hope to make that connection NOW with some of you.

stereotypes HURT. stereotypes are IGNORANT.

take this time to inform yourselves, those who need to be informed.

don't try to be dimissive and silence me with "you're being too sensitive" or "you're just insecure" or "well, you WERE asking for my opinion" or "you're making a big deal out of nothing" bullshit. because that's not going to fly with me. and i don't say this for ME, i say this for the women out there who don't have the guts yet to say this. as i once was when i was younger.
and don't tell me "let's just agree to disagree" on this issue.
that's a fucking cop out.
and don't tell me that you admire so many other things about me so that should make up for you calling ALL WOMEN (that includes ME) brainless bimbos just because we decided to modify our bodies for WHATEVER REASON.
if you're calling me a brainless bimbo, i don't care what things about me you DO admire.

sure some women have done it for "the wrong reasons" , but everyone has their path they need to take and to learn from.
what are you...PERFECT?
women get modifications to their body (and men, too) for as many reasons as there are individual people.
and i don't owe any of you any explanation as to why i did what i did.
i have already written about that EXTENSIVELY.
but i WILL say that not all women get boob jobs for the "male gaze"
and for you men who think it's "all for you", you are narcissistic people living in the patriarchal "dreamworld" you've been conned into believing.
your sense of entitlement is FALSE. it's time for you to WAKE up now. *ding ding*

don't give me your caveman talk about how *I* said the word "boob" and that gave you some sort of right then to tell you how YOU would prefer MY body. visualize all you want. i could give a shit.
but know when to keep your mouth shut even if you can't control whether your dick gets hard or not.
be accountable. i'm not shaming you for your sexual preference, i could care less what gets you off, but i am shaming you for thinking you have some sort of god given right to tell ME how YOU would prefer MY body for YOUR sexual pleasure. Zip it. i know it's been shoved down your throat since day One that you have that right.
but *news flash* you DON'T have that right.
you have been given FALSE information. so start UNLEARNING it.

start KNOWING this and bring it into your consciousness.
because the world is depending on YOU, in part, to EVOLVE.

*I* am living proof that preconceived notions are BULLSHIT.
so are YOU.

start treating others as you would like to be treated.
become AWARE of this.

don't DISCONNECT.
CONNECT.

what you do to others you do to yourself.

2:18pm

it's a gorgeous day outside. 63 degrees!
and sunny!
i can't wait to go walk in it with jason when he gets home :)
and then it's going to be raininyand thunderstorms for the rest of the week (but still warm)

 

2:02pm

well, my horoscopes are right on today.
i am feeling very hurt.
what started out as funny poll in my lj about boobs was unexpectedly hurtful to me.

so i wrote this:

ignorant judgments

well, i must say i am very disappointed that a few of you on my friends list, and a few who list me as a friend think of me as having low self esteem, being brainless, being a bimbo or an enemy of feminism because i have breast implants.

if you think these things of me then why are you even reading my journal?
why would you have the nerve to insult me?
or did you just not realize that i have breast implants and so didn't realize that you were judging me so wrongly and harshly?

the one who called me an enemy of feminism hurts the most because this is a person i consider a friend.

if i had the energy i would inform you as to why your judgments are completely absolutely wrong.
but, at this point, i don't feel the need to justify myself to any of you.
if you cannot tell that i am obviously NOT a person with low self esteem, who is NOT brainless or a bimbo, and most certainly not an enemy of feminism...well....if you can't discern that, then that's too bad.

your judgements have nothing to do with ME, that i know.

 

1:07pm

 

Horoscope for Aries (May 4 2005)

Emotions are rising to the surface. Whether you are happy or feeling a little down, be careful to keep to yourself how you are doing and what your plans are. You will find a new way to bring in extra cash.

and

Hurt feelings
Through a careless remark, a slight clumsiness, or a wrong word without bad intent, you suddenly find yourself in an embarrassing situation, feel yourself hurt or belittled. If you react in an injured manner, demand apologies or become aggressive, this will only cause further, unnecessary pain for you. Despite this, you should not just compromise but rather think the incident over again, as it points to a particular area in which you are oversensitive and that could, under other circumstances, lead to a complete overreaction. The more you find out about this personal sensitivity the easier it will be to accept it and to make others aware of it.