| april
23rd, 2005 |
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10:54pm
i'm ok. just tired. we were going
to go out and see M83 tonight but decided not to.
we just snuggled and watched movies.
i got all dressed up tho in case we were going to go out.
figured out a way to cover my bruised eye.
you can tell i'm pretty blank.
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i should wash it off but i dont
feel like it.
when i wake up i should be a quite a site.
i'm curious as to how it will all smear during my sleep.
5:57pm
pain, rage, pointlessness, passion,
vulnerability, closing off,
fighting back, giving in, wanting to die, wanting to live, confusion, drunkeness,
absurdity, showing off, wanting to hide, sorrow...
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sorry the masturbation pix are just
for show.
i wasn't turned on in the slightest.
i was doing them more as sarcasm as a juxtaposition to pain.
1:53pm
note to fucking self:
do not buy the BIG bottle of wine
because it is on sale.
do not attempt to move wicker chair through pounds of pink peanuts while wearing
high heeled boots over a metal gate (to keep the dogs out of the peanuts)
AFTER drinking the wine.
do NOT attempt to try and pose like the 80's chick in the whitesnake video
on the wicker chair or the flashdance movie, also after drinking large bottle
of wine.
for you shall:
#1 wake up with the first black eye
you've ever had, and not even remember how you gave it to YOURSELF (probably
either by trying to get wicker chair over metal gate through peanuts in high
heeled boots or
#2 trying to pose like the 80's chick in the whitesnake video or chick in
flashdance (in a drunken absurd way) on that wicker chair and then you can't
get out of that position because you are 39 years old and totally unlimber
(but 99% because you are drunk and stupid and trying to...hell, who the heck
knows what i was trying to do! yoga? *express myself*?
fuck.
(eyebrows shaved , therefore the stubble.)
anyway. OUCH.
it's actually more purple and blue
than this picture depicts.
and even worse looking. but it's hard to take a photo of your eye when you
can't open your eye!
crazed drunken master posing on wicker chair photos to follow later on on today to follow once i can SEE to comb through the multitude of photos.
yes, i am out of my fucking mind lately, in case that wasn't already obvious to you!
today is the anniversary of sonia's death.
+++
Horoscope for Aries (April 23 2005)
Do something out of the ordinary, and you will find yourself in fine company today. The more you do to help others, the more people you will attract to your side. An unusual individual will offer you some food for thought.
and
Moral support
Although you can work effectively with people now, you do not feel dependent
upon them. You present yourself as an independent, self-reliant person who
is willing to help others and to serve the larger society. As a result you
are able to obtain material backing from others, as well as moral support.
You could never do this as easily when you feel that you must have the assistance
of others in order to succeed. Your confidence in yourself makes people feel
confident in you. The clarity with which you see your objectives enables you
to plan very thoroughly and decisively. You plan a course of action and follow
through on it directly. There is no need to act covertly or deviously. When
it is necessary, you do not shrink from a confrontation with someone.