april 21st, 2005
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9:41pm

a have a sourdough baguette that dried up.
what can do i with it besides make stuffing or croutons out of it?

9:33pm

and now i am all clean and going to drink some new kind of tea (to me) called green tea with brown rice.
:)

8:39pm

right now is the most "normal" i have felt in days and dyas.
so, i'm just RELAXING and enjoying feeling NORMAL and not stressed out.
nowhere i have to be. just watch tv and have a NORMAL night.
thank god.
and my soup was amazing.
and jason is out watch mcchris with his friend james.
i'm just laying in the bed with the dogs relaxing and it is heaven.

7:10pm

my wicker chair from mya arrived!
the one i will use for photos that will go inside the record sleeve of my next record!
i used to own an identical version of this chair, it's from the victorian era.
it's very small and fancy :)
i got rid of it when i moved in with jason and then really regretted getting rid of it.
but now i have an identical one!
i think i will spray paint this one silver :)
i have never in my life seen so many pink packing peanuts!
they are all over the floor in the thing room :)
i will have some fun doing a photo session with them.
also a nice big box to play in :)
and the chair!
so much!!
thank you mya!!!! i'm gonna send you a package back full of goodies!!
i'm trying to deal with the chair in between commercials as i watch survivor.
and my soup is done and i think it's good.
and i made a bath but now it's getting cold.
everything is happening at once!

more later but right now i have so much to deal with!
i am a lot less depressed now :)

5:44pm

 

all the veggies in my fridge were starting to rot or did rot.
because i have just been too flipped out to cook.
so now i am taking everything that is left and cooking ALL of it in 2 big pots.
i have no idea how it will all come out.
but i cleaned out my fridge with everything that was going bad, things that had expired, things i am never going to eat (this weird jar of soy chocolate spread, that awful bottle of la choy soy sauce, that herring in the cream sauce that had gross sauce)

i just ate all the strawberries that didn't go bad.
tonight i'll eat vegetable curry soup, or whatever it is i am making.
i should make some licorice spice tea.

i could have teken such nice photos of all the pretty vegetables, but i don't even feel like cooking them or eating much much less photographing them. the caggage was especially pretty.
i did take one photo.
i guess that is depression for you.

i'm just keeping ging, one foot in front of the other. getting the daily chores done.
making sure i eat. making sure the dogs are fine.
i have to go give pooka his medicine now and then take out the trash.

i noticed one beet had little red shoots coming out of it. maybe those are leaves.
i planeted it in my big black cup and i hope it starts to grow!

3:33pm

i'm feeling kind of "flat". like my brain blew a fuse. and now
all i want to do is just lay in bed and stare or watch tv. just
anything so that i don't have to think.
i'm sick of thinking. i need to recharge my batteries.
i'm glad i have my dogs with me to love me so much.
jason is at work and then tonight he goes out to see a show with his
friend james.

last night we went out (even tho we were both so tired) and we saw an
AMAZING band. one of the best live performances i've ever seen. i
can't even describe their music to you. one was michael gira (from the swans)
in his new band called angels of light.
and the warm up band which is the one that really blew me away are called akron.
i wish i could describe it to you. the passion, the..rawness, the delicacy.
i wish i could see it again so i could understand what it was i saw!
it actually made me cry!

even tho i'm SUPER glad i went, it still was a little
overloading and so now i am going to do nothing at all today.
and then i go to another show on saturday. i've been seeing a lot of
shows lately.

ok, that's all i can type. going to get some food now and then maybe
go for a walk outside. but i don't know if i have even the energy to do that.

i'm glad everything is green again and i even saw dandelions, which
are my favourite.

+++

Horoscope for Aries (April 21 2005)

Avoid any sort of emotional upset. If someone is doing his or her best to pressure you into doing something, back away. You have plenty of other choices. An opportunity to meet someone who is good for you is apparent.

and

Artistic matters
Valid during several weeks: This influence can be useful in many ways. It creates favorable circumstances in your business and professional life, attracting persons and circumstances that facilitate your work. People in authority are favorably inclined toward you, and most relationships in your professional life will run smoothly. It is apparent to everyone that you are primarily interested in working harmoniously with others, and they respond by being agreeable. Regardless of what you do for a living, this influence may involve you temporarily in artistic matters, such as design, layout work, office redecorating, even public relations for the purpose of making the company look more attractive. All such activities should go smoothly at this time.